Imperial Guard: Difference between revisions

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[[Image:Basilisk.png|thumb|right|Basilisks are AWESOME]]The '''Imperial Guard''' are the footsoldiers of the Imperium. They only exist to die gloriously in the [[Empra]]'s name. They are the only non-faggy army in 40k. [[Commissar]]s (like [[Holt]] and [[Ciaphas Cain]]) ensure they do so by shooting anyone who looks like deserting. Though the average Guardsman is only capable of drawing enemy fire and shining a torch at their enemies, much more fortunate Guardsmen get to drive the tanks and other armoured vehicles fielded by the IG, which proceed to blow their enemies into little chunks from a very long way away.  
[[Image:Basilisk.png|thumb|right|Basilisks are AWESOME]]The '''Imperial Guard''' are the footsoldiers of the Imperium. They only exist to die gloriously in the [[Empra]]'s name. [[Commissar]]s (like [[Holt]] and [[Ciaphas Cain]]) ensure they do so by shooting anyone who looks like deserting. Though the average Guardsman is only capable of drawing enemy fire and shining a torch at their enemies, much more fortunate Guardsmen get to drive the tanks and other armoured vehicles fielded by the IG, which proceed to blow their enemies into little chunks from a very long way away.


Guardsmen are commonly equipped with a set of [[flak armour]], a [[lasgun]] and [[the Imperial Infantry man's Uplifting Primer]].
It is worth noting that in a universe where the majority of of the other armies are either:
*Robots
*Genetically engineered killing machines
*Horrific mutants
*Clad in [[powered armour]]
*In possession of extremely advanced technology
*Some combination of the above
The footsoldiers of the Imperial Guard take to the field equipped with nothing more than the 40k equivalent of flak jackets, glorified laser pointers and the Imperial Infantryman's Uplifting Primer. They have balls of steel.


=Notable Figures of the Guard=
==Notable Figures of the Imperial Guard==
[[Holt|Commissar Holt]]~Awesome cinematics are awesome, from Warhammer 40,000: Final Liberation.
*[[Holt|Commissar Holt]] - Awesome cinematics are awesome, from Warhammer 40,000: Final Liberation.
*[[Commissar Dan]] - "But Commissar Dan says were on a blaze for glory run".
*[[General Sturnn]] - Manly damn old son of a bitch, from Dawn of War: Winter Assault.
*[[Ciaphas Cain]] - Charming Commissar in the Harry Flashman tradition.
*[[Colonel-Commissar Ibram Gaunt]] - Main protaganist of Gaunt's Ghosts- Man what's with all the commissars let's break this up a bit.
*[[Ollanius Pius]] - The catalyst for the [[God-Emperor of Mankind|Emperor]] finally slaying [[Horus]]. In their final duel, the Emperor did his best to redeem his son, until he saw Horus callously slaying a guardsman that could not have hurt the Champion of Chaos. Finally convinced that Horus could not be redeemed, the Emperor did slay his favorite child. Later retconned to yet another spehss mehreen which is LAME. DON'T BELIEVE GAMES WORKSHOP'S LIES.
*[[Vance Motherfucking Stubbs]] - Another manly bastard, famous for losing 100 [[Baneblade]]s.


[[Commissar Dan]]~"But Commissar Dan says we're on a blaze for glory run".
Guardsmen are commonly equipped with [[flak armour]], a [[lasgun]] and [[the Imperial Infantry man's Uplifting Primer]].
 
[[General Sturnn]]~Manly damn old son of a bitch, from Dawn of War: Winter Assault.
 
[[Ciaphas Cain]]~Charming Commissar in the Harry Flashman tradition.
 
[[Colonel-Commissar Ibram Gaunt]]~Main protaganist of Gaunt's Ghosts- Man what's with all the commissars let's break this up a bit.
 
[[Ollanius Pius]]~The catalyst for the [[God-Emperor of Mankind|Emperor]] finally slaying [[Horus]]. In their final duel, the Emperor did his best to redeem his son, until he saw Horus callously slaying a guardsman that could not have hurt the Champion of Chaos. Finally convinced that Horus could not be redeemed, the Emperor did slay his favorite child. Later retconned to yet another spehss mehreen which is LAME. DON'T BELIEVE GAMES WORKSHOP'S LIES.
 
[[Vance Motherfucking Stubbs]]~ Another manly bastard, famous for losing 100 Baneblades.
{{Wh40k-stub}}
{{Wh40k-stub}}
==Gallery==
==Gallery==

Revision as of 21:56, 28 June 2008

Basilisks are AWESOME

The Imperial Guard are the footsoldiers of the Imperium. They only exist to die gloriously in the Empra's name. Commissars (like Holt and Ciaphas Cain) ensure they do so by shooting anyone who looks like deserting. Though the average Guardsman is only capable of drawing enemy fire and shining a torch at their enemies, much more fortunate Guardsmen get to drive the tanks and other armoured vehicles fielded by the IG, which proceed to blow their enemies into little chunks from a very long way away.

It is worth noting that in a universe where the majority of of the other armies are either:

  • Robots
  • Genetically engineered killing machines
  • Horrific mutants
  • Clad in powered armour
  • In possession of extremely advanced technology
  • Some combination of the above

The footsoldiers of the Imperial Guard take to the field equipped with nothing more than the 40k equivalent of flak jackets, glorified laser pointers and the Imperial Infantryman's Uplifting Primer. They have balls of steel.

Notable Figures of the Imperial Guard

  • Commissar Holt - Awesome cinematics are awesome, from Warhammer 40,000: Final Liberation.
  • Commissar Dan - "But Commissar Dan says were on a blaze for glory run".
  • General Sturnn - Manly damn old son of a bitch, from Dawn of War: Winter Assault.
  • Ciaphas Cain - Charming Commissar in the Harry Flashman tradition.
  • Colonel-Commissar Ibram Gaunt - Main protaganist of Gaunt's Ghosts- Man what's with all the commissars let's break this up a bit.
  • Ollanius Pius - The catalyst for the Emperor finally slaying Horus. In their final duel, the Emperor did his best to redeem his son, until he saw Horus callously slaying a guardsman that could not have hurt the Champion of Chaos. Finally convinced that Horus could not be redeemed, the Emperor did slay his favorite child. Later retconned to yet another spehss mehreen which is LAME. DON'T BELIEVE GAMES WORKSHOP'S LIES.
  • Vance Motherfucking Stubbs - Another manly bastard, famous for losing 100 Baneblades.

Guardsmen are commonly equipped with flak armour, a lasgun and the Imperial Infantry man's Uplifting Primer.

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Gallery

  • This is painfully accurate.
    This is painfully accurate.
  • But this works too.
    But this works too.
  • Commissar in action
    Commissar in action
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