Lucifer Butts

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Re: Inquisitor Roska

Message From: Inq. HQ, Sector: ********

Greetings,

I have reviewed the document you sent me about the supposed renegade chapter, "Sons of Lucifer" and I must admit, I was at first confused as to if this was some sort of Guiliman's a Fool Day Prank. I am disappointed that an acolyte of mine could be fooled by such an obvious fabricate. Even in the first part of the document, the blathering idiot writer was unable to utilize the word "their" properly. However, I hope to use this as a chance to educate you for future documentation, so my time is no longer wasted. I will admit that this "Lucifer" character is a real person, or was, but the facts are quite different in reality.

Firstly, even the "Warcry" of this supposed chapter is dubious. I ask you to imagine anyone shouting that entire thing before engaging in battle. It is true that Lucifer did shout such things on occasion (but more on that later).

The "Space Marine" Lucifer here was, in fact, a Mr. Lucifer Butts, an Administratum Adept. He did not "crash land" on Tython 6 after "Fighting Eldar" - he was "Reassigned" there after "Spilling Recaf on a Data Stack"....

While I can only guess at the character of Mr. Lucifer Butts, I do know that the planet he landed on, presented here as a sort of "jungle hell" is in fact a rather pleasant Imperial World located in a rather peaceful Sector. From what records tell me, it is fairly developed, with a pleasant tropical atmosphere near most developments. The citizens were given enough leisure that they partook in all manner of (in my eyes, unforgivably frivolous) activities.

Lucifer Butts, from what I can tell, appeared to not adapt very well to his new environment. To ease his loneliness (or, perhaps boredom), he began to partake in a curious custom of the planet - I cannot find an appropriate term in High or Low Gothing, but the local term was "Larping". Essentially, various persons would play dress up, with rules added on.

Lucifer Butts became embroiled in a particular "Larping" session, where half the participants pretended to be "vampires" (A monster common to local myth. From what I can garner, it appears to be a creature that stalks and sodomizes honest Imperial Citizens. They are only found at night, with daylight revealing them for what they are via "sparkling").

While this was assumbly just a way to pass time, for whatever reason, Lucifer Butts was unable to take it as such - work reports indicate a growing degradation of his mind - to the point that he began to confuse this "Larping" with reality. It was at this point that tensions arose between him and the rest of his "Larping" Group - he claiming (most heretically), to actually be a member of the Astartes, and thus, should be given attributes in the game far beyond all others.

At this point, it also appears that Mr. Butts became enamoured of a "player" on the other team, a miss Anna Smith. She was, however, playing for the other team (In more ways than one). In order to perhaps endear himself to her, he claimed, to her confusion, that she had "totally bit him, and it was really hot" and that this not only gave him reason to switch teams, but to become a "Super-Space Marine Vampire Hybrid."

Lucifer Butts was subsequently banned from attending any more "Larping" sessions. This seems to have broken his fragile psyche. Later that night, the local Enforcers were called in to reports of a man, likely intoxicated, who was "attempting to bite people on the local Autobus". Mr. Butts was subsequently arrested and taken into custody, all the while addressing the Enforcers as "Fellow Blood Angels". When a local legal aide was brought for him, he called the man "Chaplain Varnius". The local Enforcers eventually released him, on the condition that he apply to a local doctor for medication.

After this, Mr. Butts returned to his work place. Mention of him in his overseer's journal increases at this point - reports of Mr.Butts approaching him and claiming that "Bob from Accounting was most certainly an Inquisitorial spy, and trying to kill him with the drugs in the water cooler". He also was reprimanded for harassing fellow Employee, a Ms. Darkova, propositioning for a relationship to her during work hours, then becoming violent and incoherent when rejected, confused as she could not find "A Totally Awesome Vampire-Space Marine" attractive. He was eventually removed from his employ for posting death threats at the desks of other persons.

Mr. Butts vanished after this day. His tenement was broken into on accordance of "bizarre smells." It was found in quite a state of disarray. The only indication of his actions was a massive handwritten text, which, in near incomprehensible Prose, described his "1000 years of Penitence in hell" and a whole slew of other fabricated battles in actions - part of an apparently elaborate fantasy, starring himself as the hero. This was interspersed with paranoid ramblings regarding Inquisitorial Interest in him, and favourable reviews of a local holopict series in which heretics die in various gruesome ways. Local authorities suspect that Mr.Butts attempted to travel alone into the wilderness - accounts in his "journal" support this theory. It is most likely that this led to his death.

In short Acolytes, do your research. Though the journal of Mr.Butts did make it into the archives, you should have known better to bring it to my attention without a proper background and context search. If such a mistake is made again, I will have Adept Connerie give you a thorough re-education course in proper research methods.

-Inquisitor Roska

++++++Thought for the Day: Doubt All+++++++

Derived from the Warhammer 40k fanon roundup.

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