Sir Bearington

The following article is a /tg/ related story or fanfic. Should you continue, expect to find tl;dr and an occasional amount of awesome.

Make a bear character in D&D 3.5. DM laughs. Make a bear rogue, put every point I can into disguise. Prestige class as a spy to get more disguise. DM says I can't speak English. Max out bluff. By growling and gesturing, I can fake speaking a language I don't speak (english).

Use money to hire a butler NPC. Give him a magical item to let him speak bear.

"GROWWWWWWL"

"An excellent suggestion, Mister Bearington. We really should ask the group to investigate the Black Marsh."

Over the course of the game, be knighted as Sir Bearington. Queen holds a dinner in my honor. A guest becomes the first man to ever make a perception check that can beat my disguise. Shouts out loud, "HEY, THAT GUY'S NOT A GUY, HE'S JUST A BEAR!" Man is escorted out of the castle while the guards apologize profusely for the indignity.

"We're so sorry, Sir Bearington, very sorry for this man's behavior."

"ROAR" *shrug*

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  Sir Bearington in armor (alongside some other /tg/ characters)