Comedy Marines

This page is needs images. Help plz.

Comedy Marines
Founding	Unkown
Successors of	Unkown
Successor Chapters	None
Chapter Master	Unkown
Primarch	CACKLUS GIGGLEBLOOD
Homeworld	Montus Pythonis
Strength	1000 Marines
Specialty	Jokes
Allegiance	Imperium
Colours	Several

Fig.1.1: A Comedy Marine.

New Space Marine Chapter that believes that any form of entertaining or comedic wordplay is the best way to praise the EMPRAH, THE CHAMPION OF REVELRY, THE OVERLORD OF MIRTH, PRAISE BE UPON HIS JOYOUS SENSIBILITIES

Their Librarians keep a record of their greatest jokes, in a grand Tome of Comedy. This Tome is only ever deployed in the largest and grandest battles, for even the greatest jokes are less effective when you hear them frequently.

Small groups of Marines are often deployed to Hive Worlds suspected for Alpha Legion infiltration. Their jokes keep the locals' morale high, and frequently disrupt Chaos' recruitment schemes (as its difficult to get people to join when you are the butt of that many jokes.)

They also have one of the highest mortality rates, as their Chaos Marine impressions, while uproariously hilarious, are accurate enough to earn them Bolter shots to the face. Nevertheless, they do their duty for their emperor.

The Primarch of the Comedy marines is renown for once cracking a pun so bad, Khorne ripped off his own ears so that he would not hear another.

Their greatest elite units are called the standup marines, with embedded vox speakers in their pauldrons holding nothing but a power microphone, delivering pun after pun! They are more feared than the noise marines, even the mightiest followers of chaos can't keep their evil thoughts in this rain of puns!

Jokes

Brother

Brother

Would you like to hear the one redeeming trait of traitors and deamons and how they relate to the children's toy known as the slinkie?

Indeed I would brother

They are both fun to watch as you push them down a steep flight of stairs

Truer words were never spoken

---

I say, brother. Would you like to hear a joke?

>Certainly.

The Inquisition.

>MY SIDES! --- Brother, did you hear the one about the Techmarine who discovered how to hack the Vox operated Howler grenades belonging to a Lady Inquisitor?

>No, Brother, I did not.

Well, neither did she! --- Chaplain

>Brother

I have a confession to make relating to my misconduct

>Then speak it so that it may be heard and corrected

It was I who covertly tripped over one of the Terminator squad this morning for the base amusement as they resemble a tortoise trying to reattain an upright stance

>Half an hour in the pain glove.

Thank you for your leniency

>I will also be joining you as I laughed thunderously at the Terminators expense --- Brother

>Brother

How many Guardsmen does it take to paint a Leman Russ?

>My knowledge is insufficient in this area Brother, please enlighten me.

Depends how hard you throw them Brother

>GUFFAW ---

Brother Marcus

>Yes Brother?

How many Imperial Guard troopers does it take to change a light bulb?

>I do not know, brother. Please enlighten me

Just one. Basic training. Reloading a lass-gun.

>GUFFAW --- Brother

>Apothecary

Regarding our most recent mission to stamp out subversive cults pledged to the Unholy Powers I believe I have made an Important observation that could aid us in identifying them

>I am intrigued. Please share this observation that I may identify the servants of the Dark Gods with greater efficiency

I believe I have learned the favored hymn of the Slaaneshii cultists

>What is its designation?

O Come, all ye Faithful

>Observation noted --- Chaplain

>Brother

I have a question regarding the Adepta Sororitas and the limits to which we may engage with them on a social level

>You may ask your questions

To what is the allowed limit we may pursue a personal relationship with an individual member of their order before it becomes unseemly

>You may kiss a Sororitas once, you may even kiss her twice. But you must never get into the habit

Understood. ---

Brother, I have a question for you

>You may ask your question

What is the difference between a Fallen Ecclesiarch and a Land Raider?

>Many. To which difference are you referring?

We currently do not have a buried Land Raider under our maintenance hall

>Both amusing and true, brother --- Brother, how many Raven Guards does it take to change a light bulb?

>I do not know, brother

Raven Guards aren't scared of the dark.

>Amusing indeed --- >Let me regail you my Brother, of the time a heretic, a xenos, and a Guardsman, righteous lover of our glorious Emperor, went down a slide.

Please do, Brother Graius!

>The first to attempt was the heretic, and upon sliding down he yelled 'HERESYYYYYYY', and upon reaching the bottom, he fell into a puddle of THE BLOOD OF HIS PEERS, WITH WHOM HE SOON JOINED.

>The second to traverse down the- are you alright Brother? Do you require a minute?

Kmmf- I sh-shall regain my composure -hrnk - in but a moment Brother Graius, please -kknk- continue your tale.

>Very well. So then the Xenos filth then takes to the slide, and upon the downward slope, he yells 'ALIIIEEENNNN', and upon reaching the bottom- check thyself Brother- upon reaching it, he lands in a puddle of FILTH, FOR THAT IS ALL XENOS ARE AND HE IS PURGED IN FLAME ACCORDINGLY

>The third-

NO BROTHER, CEASE! SUCH MERRIMENT MY FUSED RIBS CANNOT CONTAIN!!

>But continue I shall, Brother! For the third to go down the slide-

NO, I CANNOT LISTEN!! I FUEL SLAANESH WITH EVERY WORD YOU SPEAK!!

>-the THIRD is the Guardsman, and upon going down, he yells 'I WISH I WERE A SPACE MARIIIIINNNEEEE'

NO! NO! HE COULD NOT!!

>He could and did, Brother!! And upon- snrk- u-upon reaching the bottom, he- knnk- YOU ARE MAKING ME PREMATURELY LOSE COMPOSURE, BROTHER ANTEUS!

I CANNOT HELP IT BROTHER, THE LEVITY HAS STRIKEN ME WITH THE FORCE OF A BATTLE BARGE

>BL-HAHA-AST YOU! So- so...h-he lands, and he lands-

OH SPIRITUAL LIEGE, SAVE ME!!

>In a puddle...OF NOTHING, FOR HE CAN NEVER BE A GLORIOUS ANGEL OF DEATH LIKE WE!!

EXTERMINATUS!! EXTERMINATUS ON MY LOCATION, BEFORE I TEAR OPEN A WARP RIFT THROUGH MIRTH ALONE!! --- Hey Brother Goren, what did one guardsman say to the other guardsman while they were on leave?

>I don't know, Brother. Enlighten me.

Maybe one day I can join the glorious ranks of the Adeptus Astartes.

>*GUFFAW* --- "Brother Fastus, have you ever considered not charging blindly into combat with xenos, and maybe talking it out?"

• Beat*

"Only joking!"

>GUFFAW --- Ho, Brother Anceus. Brother. Brother. Brother Anceus. Brother. Brother.

>*Rolls over in his sacred bunk to look at Brother Pellus*

...Guardsmen.

>*MIGHTY CHORTLES* --- BATTLE BROTHER!

>YES BROTHER?

WHAT DID THE IG DO WHEN THEY ENCOUNTERED A TYRANID HORDE?

>I DO NOT KNOW, ENLIGHTEN ME!

THEY WITHDREW AND CALLED IN AN ATTACK BY THE ARTILLERY

>TRULY YOUR STORIES FILL ME WITH THE GREATEST OF MIRTH. MY LAUGHTER IS AS HUGE AS I AM. --- >Brother Thorek, what do you call an Eldar who has stopped scheming?

What?

>a dead Eldar

• GUFFAW*

--- Brother Higolf, did you hear the one about the constipated Space Wolf?

>I did not, Brother.

Yes Brother, it turns out he needed a golden throne! GUFFAW

>Brother, I am reporting you to the Chapter Master. --- Brother Rex, when is a heretic not a heretic?

>I do not know, Brother Quellus, when is a heretic not a heretic?

WHEN HE'S DEAD!! AHAHAHAHAHA

>BY THE EMPEROR IT GETS BETTER EVERY TIME BROTHER REX AHAHAHAHAHAHA --- Brother Tark, why did the Tyranid break up with his girlfriend?

>I dont know, why?

because she had too much biomass

>THUNDEROUS REVELRY --- Battle Brother Grabthar, why did the Trukk become much less safe?

>I don't know, Brother Elupis, why DID it become much less safe?

I fired a meltagun at it, silly! --- >BROTHER, WHAT WAS THE LANDSPEEDER DOING ACROSS THE GRAND PLAINS OF OLLICAR XII AS IT RIGHTEOUSLY SLAUGHTED THE ORCISH HORDE OF GOLDUR SKINSTAB?

ENLIGHTEN ME, BROTHER.

>ABOUT 120 MILES PER HOUR

A GLORIOUS AND AMUSINGLY EXPEDIENT VELOCITY! --- Well that's what we call a Medium chapter!

>Why is that, Brother Walodorfus?

Because they aren't rare, and they certainly don't do well!

>DOHOHOHOHO! --- Brother Dorn, what do you call an ork who is jealous of the mighe of the great Adeptus Astartes?

>i dont know what?

green with envy

>MARVELOUS QUIP, BROTHER --- >Did you hear the one about the Grey Knights when they aided our chapter?

I did not, Chapter Master!

>That's BECAUSE YOU WERE MIND-SCUBBED AFTER, HAHAHAHA!!! --- >Brother Cassius, I ask you - what do you call a Space Wolf with a drinking problem?

I don't know Brother Octavian. What DO you call a Space Wolf with a drinking problem?

>You call him a Space Wolf, brother Cassius.

IMMENSE LEVITY --- Brother Dexus! What is our most holy and favored brand of tea?

>I do not know brother.

Astar-teas!

>WAH! HA! HA! HA! --- Brother, did you hear the one about the Sororitas and the bolter?

>Bolt 'er? I 'ardly knew 'er! --- BATTLE BROTHER

>YES BROTHER?

AN GUARDSMAN HAD TOLD ME A JOKE RECENTLY,

>A GUARDSMAN JOKE? WITH ALL THAT TIME THEY HAVE, IT MUST SURELY BE A GREAT ONE.

INDEED IT WAS. HE SAID HE WANT'S TO BE LIKE ME WHEN HE GROWS UP

>MY BELLY WOULD ACHE FROM ALL OF MY LAUGHTER IF I WAS A LESSER MAN

AHA! I SEE THE HUMOR HAS BEEN DOUBLED, BROTHER! I AM NO MATCH FOR YOUR WIT! --- Brother Gilfin, have you noticed the increase in orkfors?

>Enlighten me brother, what is an orkfor?

FOR SHOOTING BROTHER!

>TERRA'S LIGHT BROTHER I WISH I HAD A SEPARATE ORGAN FOR LAUGHTER! --- Brother Maltek, did you hear the one about the noise marine who was punished by Slaanesh?

>no

neither did he

>DOHOHOHOHO --- What's the difference between an Ultramarine and an Alpha Legionnaire, Brother Jallen?

>Please inform me of the difference, Brother Cassius.

DEATH TO THE FALSE EMPEROR!!!

>BY ROBUTE'S CHEST-HAIR!!! --- Brother Adivus, what did the guardsman say to the xeno?

>Enlighten me brother.

I don't know I killed them both!

> Riveting tale brother! --- Battle brother angelos, what did the librarian say when he went to the apothecary for his yearly heresy checkup?

>I do not know, sargeent thalmius. What did our librarian say?

"hope is the first step on the road of 'dis appointment"

>MY SIDES, BROTHER--I FEEL AS IF A XENOBLADE HAS CUT ME --- BROTHER

>BROTHER

THE HERETIC MARINES OF SLAANESH ARE MOVING TOWARDS OUR POSITION

>I STAND READY TO RESIST THEIR ADVANCES.

WAS THAT A JOKE, MY BROTHER?

>IT WAS INDEED, BROTHER.

I FOUND IT AMUSING.

>AS DID I BROTHER. BUT ENOUGH OF THIS LEVITY, IT IS TIME FOR WAR. --- Brother, what did the heretic say to abaddon after he was told of his plans to launch a new black crusade?

>I do not know, brother, what did he say?

REMEMBER THE LAST 13!!

>BY THE SIGILITTES FLAMING STAFF BROTHER!

GUFFAW --- Brother Ferrus! How man bolts does it take to destroy the enemies of his most holy Majesty and father the emperor!?

>The answer to this I do not know brother, enlighten me.

I'm still counting!

>True... True... --- Brother! Can you cover my patrol shift?

>Of course Brother, what is the emergency?

I NEED TO DROP POD BEHIND THAT BUSH

>GUFFAW --- Brothers, Have any of you kept tabs on the words of the Ministorum these past millenia?

>Why no Brother, I have not...what do they say?

They think the Emporer IS A GOD!

>BWAHAHAHAA --- Brother-captain!

>Yes, brother?

I have relayed your order to attack the breach to our Blood Angels brothers-in-arms!

>How do they feel about the fact that the charge shall almost certainly lead to a glorious death in the Emperor's name?

They were sanguine about it, captain!

>DOHOHOHOHO --- Brother! The witch is upon the ridge! The enemy artillery is advancing to "What" Hill, and their left flank is feeling to "Where" cavern, We must advance!

>Which ridge?

That is correct brother!

>What is correct?

No Brother, the ridge!

>I understand, which ridge?

Yes! We must advance!

>Where do we advance?

No brother, we must advance to the ridge!

>I'm asking you Brother, to which ridge must we advance?

You would be correct brother! --- I HEARD AN AMUSING JOKE, THE OTHER DAY, BATTLE BROTHER. WHAT DID THE ALPHA LEGIONARY SAY TO HIS SECRET SLEEPER AGENT CONTACT?

>I DON'T KNOW, BROTHER SIGIL. WHAT DID HE SAY?

HE SAID, YOUR MISSION IS TO ALTER THE NAGIVATIONAL BEACON FREQUENCY TO 226.53 AND ENSURE THE DISTRESS SIGNAL GOES THROUGH WITH A DELAY OF 28 MINUTES.

>HA, HA, THAT IS A MOST AMUSING JOKE, BROTHER. I MUST NOW DEPART TO THE COMMUNICATIONS ARRAY. *WINK*.

DID YOU JUST SAY "WINK", BROTHER?

>NOT AT ALL. YOU MUST BE IMAGINING THINGS. HA, HA, HA. --- Brother Alporus, did you hear the voices of slaanesh scraping at the edge of my mind?

>No Brother, you should certainly see the Chapter's Apothecary about that.

Indeed Brother, now twist my nipples!

>OHGODBROTHERMYBLACKCARAPACE

GUFFAW --- Dost thou know why the Dark Angels Primach was late to the confrontation at Holy Terra?

>Do tell, Brother!

Because he was LION AROUND!!

>I believe the chaplain heard you.

Oh Sister's tits. The pain glove for me... --- IS THAT YOUR PRIMARCH OR DID A TYRANID HIVE FLEET JUST PASS BY? --- YOUR PRIMARCH IS SO UNSIGHTLY THAT NOT EVEN SLANEESH CAN BECOME AROUSED AROUND HIM! --- DID YOU HEAR THAT TERRAN IDOL WAS RENEWED FOR YET ANOTHER SEASON? NOT EVEN TZEENTCH FORSAW IT HAPPENING! --- YOUR PRIMARCH HAS FALLEN SO FAR INTO CHAOS NOT EVEN TZEENTCH CAN FIT HIM INTO A PLAN --- YOUR PRIMARCH IS SO FAT, THE ORKS HAVE RECOGNISED HIM AS A NEW GOD. --- YOUR PRIMARCH IS SO FAT, THE INQUISITION ARE PURGING THE CHAPTER ON SUSPICION OF NURGLE POSSESSION. --- WHAT DO YOU SAY TO THE BATTLE-SISTER WHO APPEARS TO HAVE TWO BLACK EYES?

NOTHING! ORDERS HAVE ALREADY BEEN ISSUED TO HER TWICE! --- There once was a Primarch called Guilliman,

Who everyone thought was a silly man,

He wrote the Codex Astartes

Wasn't invited to parties

And had the sexual skill of a derpy ram! --- Battle-brother!

>Yes, Brother?

Did you perchance hear what happened when the Adepta Sororitas received their first titan?

>No, Brother. I did not.

They destroyed a sizable amount of their own forces just backing the war machine up! --- WHAT DID THE INQUISITION SAY TO THE GUARDSMEN THAT FOUGHT WITH SPACEMARINES SAY

>I DO NOT KNOW BATTLE BROTHER WHAT DID HE SAY

BLAM!

>GUFFAW --- BROTHER SPACE WOLF, HOW MANY THOUSAND SONS ARE OUT THERE IN THE GALAXY?

>HOW MANY?

LESS THEN A THOUSAND!

>GUFFAW --- BROTHER

>YES BROTHER

HAVE YOU HEARD THAT LOGAN GRIMNAR PROPOSITIONED ONE OF THE SISTERS OF BATTLE LAST NIGHT WHILST PURGING THE GALAXY OF XENO FILTH

>REALLY BROTHER

YES, HE'S SUCH A DOG

>GUFFAWS --- BROTHER, WHY DON'T ALPHA LEGIONARES FIGHT FOR THE EMPEROR?

>BECAUSE THEY ARE HERETICS?

NO, BECAUSE THEY DON?T EXIST!

>GUFFAW --- BROTHER LEVICTUS

>YES BROTHER DAMATUS

THE EMPEROR'S HEART IS FILLED WITH JOY WHEN WE KILL A HERETIC, IS IT TRUE?

>IT IS

THEN EMPEROR'S HEART IS FILLED WITH MORE JOY WHEN WE KILL TWO HERETICS, TRUE?

>YES IT IS. WHAT ARE YOU GETTING AT

TURN AROUND AND SEE HOW MUCH JOY WE ARE ABOUT TO BRING HIM --- Greetings Brother, who you care to hear a jest?

>As my eyes ever watch for heresy, so my ears listen to you Brother.

Very well, then I shall begin. What did one Space Wolf say to another Space Wolf?

>I do not know Brother, what did one Space Wolf say to another Space Wolf?

WOLFWOLFWOLFWOLFWOLFWOLFWOLFWOLFWOLVES

>*GUFFAW* THE HUMOR IS DERIVED FROM THE FACTUAL BASIS OF THE STATEMENT! --- Poor Brother-Captain Skelton. His impressionist skills were simply too powerful; the Inquisitor did not understand.

>The Brother-Captain died as he had lived.

Messily?

>Hilariously. --- Venerable Bjorn!

> YES BROTHER STROMUS

Have you heard the latest news about Abbadon?

> NO

His hands... fell.

> ...

(The geneseed of Brother Stromus was later recovered as Brother Stromus died of his injuries caused by a accidental malfunction of the venerable dreadnaughts power claw) --- I SAY BROTHER HONDE, I DESIRED A PET, SO I PURCHASED A CYBER MASTIFF FROM AN AGENT OF THE IMPERIAL LAW.

>HOW IS THAT WORKING FOR YOU BROTHER JON'REL?

TERRIBLY! I AQUIRED IT FROM A NEGLEGENT MASTER, AND THE POOR THING IS STUCK IN "AGRESSIVE" MODE, SO IT CONSTANTLY MAKES NOISE AND ATTACKS, BUT HAD IT'S JAW REMOVED, MAKING IT HARMLESS.

>HOW AWFUL.

INDEED, YOU COULD SAY, OUR BARK WAS WORSE THAN ARBITES.

>DO_HO_HO_HO_HO

ALSO, I TURNED THE OFFICER OVER TO THE ADEPTUS MECHANICUS, FOR RE-EDUCATION.

>WELL, LOOKS LIKE THERE WILL BE A NEW SERVITOR SOON!

(They both laugh mightilly.) --- I SAY BROTHER JACOBUS

>YES BROTHER ARCTURUS

HAVE YOU HEARD THE ONE ABOUT THE XENO AND THE POWER FIST?

>OF COURSE I HAVE, YOU TELL ME IT ALL THE TIME

YES, I SUPPOSE I'VE "BEATEN IT TO DEATH"

>DOHOHOHOHOHOHO --- Brother Ragnar!

> Yes Brother Ulrik?

Have you heard about the news about the Inquisitor and mighty Bjorn at the Chapter Fortress?

> No Brother Ulrik.

The Inquisitor declared Bjorn Excommunicate Traitoris for helping the civilian population while ordered to purge them.

> The audacity of that Inquisitor! What happened brother?

Well, Brother Ragnar, Bjorn had a malfunction with his lightning claw.

• GUFFAW*

--- BROTHER ALTOR, WHY DID THE TRAITOR GUARDSMAN CROSS THE ROAD?

>I DO NOT KNOW, BROTHER BASSIANUS, PLEASE ENLIGHTEN ME.

I WOULD NOT PRESUME TO UNDERSTAND THE THOUGHTS OF A VILE HERETIC, BROTHER.

>AH, INDEED NOT. --- >BROTHER, WHY DID THE ULTRAMARINE CROSS THE ROAD

DO TELL, BROTHER

>TO MEET HIS SPIRITUAL LIEGE

GUFFAW --- Ah, Brother-Captain Joculus. Such a strong, imposing figure. I had the privilege to field alongside him forty years ago, arrayed against a force of Tzeentchian heretics.

>Amidst hard fighting, he suddenly turned to me, stubber rounds deflecting off his armor as he calmly spoke. "Brother, I have been contemplating these foes of ours."

"You have?" was all I could ask, for the absurdity of the moment.

>"I have. And I have come to realize, we are not so different after all." He surely knew my shock as my eyes widened as large as my helmet's lenses.

"Flamer," he said calmly, as he squeezed the trigger and fired a gout of prometheum past my ear, and an agonized shriek behind me told me he had not only saved my life, but done so in... how do the guardsmen say? Style. I wheeled around, to see the remains of a blue-and-purple, clawed monstrosity rolling and burning.

>"Flamer," he said lightly, and then handed me his blessed weapon. With his free hand, he pointed up the ridge at the next enemy wave, lead by the twisted form of a daemonette.

"Flame her."

>It was the most amusing battle I have ever had the honor of partaking in. And you should have seen his Grouchex-pattern servo skull. I could tell you, it was positively BRISTLING with digital weapons... --- Brother

>Brother

I have an amusing question to ask you

>Proceed

How many kegs of Fenrisian Ale does it take to render a Space Wolf unconscious?

>I do not possess the answer brother, please enlighten me

I depends on the velocity it impacts their head with

>Most amusing brother.

Indeed --- Tell me, brother, why do we not produce combi-weapons for close combat as well?

>Why, initiate, our swords are chained already. --- Brother

>Brother

I have had an amusing observation based upon past missions and watching our chapter's head cook prepare today's meal

>Please share your observations

There is little difference between a Radical Inquisitor and an onion.

>Explain

An onion has layers much as a Radical Inquisitor has layers of deceit, an onion grows in the muck away from the light much like a Radical Inquisitor and they both have a repulsive almost corrupt smell that follows them

>Indeed but I can not find any merriment in this observation, astute thought it is

Quite so; But I did not weep when I carved up the Radical Inquisitor, but I wept for the sliced up onion.

>Most amusing brother --- Tell me Brother Lanzarius, are you aware favoured tactical doctrine of the the 10th legion when encountering Eldar witches?

>I'm not Brother Jotium but please enlighten me that we might learn from their wisom.

A hands on approach.

>GUFFAW! Your insight and wisdom is matched only by your wit Brother Lanzarius! --- HAVE YOU HEARD THE TALE OF THE ILL FATED EXERCISE REGIME THE GUARDSMEN ADOPTED BROTHER?

>NO I HAVE NOT, ENLIGHTEN ME BROTHER.

THEY LOST HALF A PLATOON ONCE THE MEN STARTED DOING SQUATS!

>DOHOHO! --- Brothers! Your attention!

The boisterous guffawing echoes through our chapter halls with such might and volume, it has already set off munitions in the armortorium! I fear for the safety of your SIDES to which you refer to so often!

I fear we may need a device to help strengthen our fused ribcages and black carapace. Perhaps to offer temporary respite, we should hold them in place with our mighty ARMS.

At this rate, we will need all of the SIDE ARMS we can get!

>GUFFAW --- BROTHER

>YES BROTHER

DO YOU KNOW WHY THERE ARE NOT FEMALE ORK FILTH?

>ALAS, I DO NOT KNOW, BROTHER. WHY ARE THERE NO FEMALE ORK FILTH?

BECAUSE IF THERE WAS FEMALE ORK FILTH, THEY WOULD GO ON A WAAAGH ONCE EVERY MONTH

>OH EMPEROR PROTECT MY SIDES FROM THIS ALMOST HERETICAL AMMOUNT OF MIRTH --- BROTHER

>WHY DO YOU ADDRESS ME SO, LOWLY GUARDSMAN

I, TOO, USED TO BELONG TO THE RANKS OF SPACE MARINES

> TRULY? HOW DIDST THOU FALL SO LOW AS TO BECOME A GUARDSMEN?

I TOOK A LASBLAST TO MINE KNEE!

> I QUAKE WITH MIRTH BUT ALSO FEEL PITY FOR YOUR FALL FROM GREATNESS --- BROTHER

>BROTHER

WHY DO BATTLE-SISTERS NEVER BREAK WIND?

>I DO NOT KNOW, BROTHER! ENLIGHTEN ME!

BECAUSE THEY NEVER CEASE TALKING LONG ENOUGH FOR THE PRESSURES TO BUILD UP!

>GOD-EMPEROR PRESERVE MY FUSED RIBS! ---