Imperial Infantryman's Uplifting Primer: Difference between revisions
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The standard book carried by ALL [[Imperial Guard|Imperial Guardsmen]]. The book, like the steel balls, is standard issue to all recruits. Failure to present it upon request may result in [[Commissar|getting shot]]. This Book basically tells the infantryman that his [[lasgun|weapons]] are the best in the [[41st millennium|universe]] and WILL kill anything with ONE shot. (Guardsman charges a [[Chaos Space Marines|Chaos Space Marine]], firing full-auto. The guardsman watches his lasfire harmlessly patter off the cursed armor, as he stops just 3 feet from the 10 ft. tall killing machine. The Chaos Marine reaches out... and grabs the poor Guardsman, and pops his skull like a egg and throws his body to the ground... [[Kharn|'''BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!!!!!!!''']] the Fallen Marine roars and runs off to kill more Slaves of the [[Emperor|Corpse God]]...... As another Guardsman watches. "Damn!! Steve just got '''PAW3D'''!!!!" | The standard book carried by ALL [[Imperial Guard|Imperial Guardsmen]]. The book, like the steel balls, is standard issue to all recruits. Failure to present it upon request may result in [[Commissar|getting shot]]. This Book basically tells the infantryman that his [[lasgun|weapons]] are the best in the [[41st millennium|universe]] and WILL kill anything with ONE shot. (Guardsman charges a [[Chaos Space Marines|Chaos Space Marine]], firing full-auto. The guardsman watches his lasfire harmlessly patter off the cursed armor, as he stops just 3 feet from the 10 ft. tall killing machine. The Chaos Marine reaches out... and grabs the poor Guardsman, and pops his skull like a egg and throws his body to the ground... [[Kharn|'''BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!!!!!!!''']] the Fallen Marine roars and runs off to kill more Slaves of the [[Emperor|Corpse God]]...... As another Guardsman watches. "Damn!! Steve just got '''PAW3D'''!!!!" It also tells such helpful things like Eldar Shurikens being unable to penetrate Flak armor (total lie), Orks being small and stupid (bigger lie), or most hilariously; Genestealers being ''slow and sluggish'' (tell that to all the dead terminator armored space marines.) | ||
[[Category:Imperial]] | [[Category:Imperial]] | ||
Revision as of 13:48, 8 December 2010
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The standard book carried by ALL Imperial Guardsmen. The book, like the steel balls, is standard issue to all recruits. Failure to present it upon request may result in getting shot. This Book basically tells the infantryman that his weapons are the best in the universe and WILL kill anything with ONE shot. (Guardsman charges a Chaos Space Marine, firing full-auto. The guardsman watches his lasfire harmlessly patter off the cursed armor, as he stops just 3 feet from the 10 ft. tall killing machine. The Chaos Marine reaches out... and grabs the poor Guardsman, and pops his skull like a egg and throws his body to the ground... BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!!!!!!! the Fallen Marine roars and runs off to kill more Slaves of the Corpse God...... As another Guardsman watches. "Damn!! Steve just got PAW3D!!!!" It also tells such helpful things like Eldar Shurikens being unable to penetrate Flak armor (total lie), Orks being small and stupid (bigger lie), or most hilariously; Genestealers being slow and sluggish (tell that to all the dead terminator armored space marines.)