List of /tg/ Cuisine

This article is delicious. Don't fuck it up.

Let's be fair, people. There are times when Meatbread just doesn't fucking cut it and you want some delicious edibles that are a bit more substantial than that. Not to worry; today, we have just that. This ongoing article (which will be updated regularly) will teach you how to make a shitton of good food that you can nom on and enjoy. At least until /ck/ comes back...

Stew of Manliness

Creator: This idiot.

Need a fucking good meal that won't take forever and is satisfying as fuck? Look no further.

Stuff You Need:

• 1 can Beef or Turkey Chili (Beans or no beans - we're not prejudiced!)
• 1 can sliced or diced potatoes (Alternately: 1 fresh sliced or diced potato)
• Half a can of corn
• 1 Lb Ground Beef
• Hamburger Seasonings (I recommend a mix of about half a teaspoon each of pepper and salt)
• Onion Powder
• Cheddar Cheese, Shredded

Optional Stuff:

• Onion, Chopped
• 1 small can baked beans
• Half a can of carrots

Cooking This Shit:

• Ground beef: Break up, season, and cook up in a skillet frying pan whatever the fuck you cook beef on.
• Canned taters: drain and throw in with chopped onion (if you're even using one), frying 'em up with the beef.
• Give the entire fucking lot a dusting of Onion Powder whilst it fries up.
• At the same time, heat the Chili up and mix in the corn, beans (if you're using them), and veggies (again, if you're using them).
• Mix in the beef and such from the previous step once it's reasonably well cooked, and stir that fucker up and heat it thoroughly.
• Top with shredded cheddar cheese and let it sit for about 5 minutes before eating.

Easy Dessert, /tg/-Style

Creator: This idiot.

Quick, easy, inexpensive, surprisingly good on a budget.

Stuff You Need:

• 1 can Cherry Pie filling, frozen in can
• half a can of Hershey's chocolate syrup
• A tablespoon of rum extract (or rum if you prefer)
• A blender

Cooking This Stuff:

• Toss the contents into a blender and shred this shit until the contents are more-or-less smooth.
• Poor it into a shallow dish and let it sit in the freezer for about an hour or two (or until it's solid).
• Shave off some into a bowl with a spoon and then eat it like ice cream.

Birds and Biscuits

Creator: Goddamnit this guy again.

Sometimes /tg/ needs dinner. Sometimes it gets it.

Stuff You Need:

• 1 package refrigerated ready-to-cook Biscuits (Pillsbury Grands work particularly well)
• 1 can of canned chicken
• A half a can of mixed vegetables
• 8-ounce package of chives and onion cream cheese
• 1 can of cream of chicken soup
• 1 cup milk
• 1 teaspoon garlic powder

Cooking This Stuff:

• In a skillet (the faggot who made this recipe uses an electric skillet) or frying pan, grill up the canned chicken. Shouldn't take long.
• Grab a pot and combined the Cream of Chicken Soup, Milk, and Garlic powder, stirring it and heating that shit up until it boils.
• Add the package of cream cheese. Stir it in until it's fully melted.
• Add the vegetables and skillet-fried canned chicken, stirring it and toning down the heat so that shit thickens up.
• Shut the heat off after it starts to thicken up and cover the dish. It'll thicken up more over a few minutes.
• Cook up the biscuits, following the directions on the package if necessary.
• Slice the biscuits and use 'em as sandwich rolls, serving a bit of the chicken-mix on them.
• Makes enough for quite a few servings. Enjoy.

Mini-Meatbreads

Creator: Long Since Lost to the Sands of Time.

A slightly different means to make you some Meatbread.

Stuff You Need:

• 1 Pound of Ground Beef
• 1 Pound of Ground Sausage
• 2 packaged of Crescent Rolls
• Seasonings of your choosing (most of /tg/ favors a mix of onion powder, pepper, and salt)
• Cheddar Cheese (Shredded)
• Mozzarella Cheese (Shredded)

Some Other Stuff You Can Use:

• Parsley
• Oregano
• Parmesan Cheese
• Chopped and fried or sauteed onions
• Mushrooms

Cooking This Stuff:

• This is going to take a bit, so be ready for it.
• Combine the ground beef and ground sausage in a big container, mixing it thoroughly and adding any pre-cooking spices you favor.
• Once thoroughly mixed, form the meat into small balls and cook thoroughly.
• Break out the Crescent Rolls.
• Sprinkle a bit of cheese and any secondary ingredients onto an uncooked Crescent Roll.
• Add a cooked mixed-meat ball (from step 3), and roll the cheese-loaded dough tightly around the meatball to make a sort of pocket around it.
• Arrange a bunch of these fucking things on a baking sheet.
• Bake that shit at 350'F for about 20 minutes or until golden brown.
• Allow to cool for a few minutes before serving.
• Great for when you have company and wish to share delicious Meatbread with friends.

Sliders of Fiery Manliness

Creator: User:Warpspiderfag

Sometimes, you want a ton of mini burgers. Like, ten mini burgers. Sometimes you want your ten mini burgers to firebomb your mouth out. Sometimes you're a man. Well, here you go.

Stuff You Need:

• 1 lb ground beef
• Shredded Mozzerella Cheese, to taste
• 1 Jalapeno pepper
• 0.5 Habanero peppers
• Tabasco Sauce, to taste
• Frank's Red Hot Sauce, to taste
• Ketchup, to taste

Some Other Stuff You Can Use:

• Garlic powder
• Onion Flakes
• Paprika
• Old Bay
• NaCl

Cooking This Stuff:

• Take the ground beef. Put that shit in a bigass mixing bowl.
• VERY FINELY chop the Jalapeno and Habanero together. DO NOT TOUCH EYES, MOUTH OR PENIS FROM NOW ON.
• Dump peppers into bowl with Beef. Mix in cheese, sauces, and ketchup.
• Mush all that shit together with your hands. Unless you're a bitch.
• Shape into sliders. Kinda like meatballs. Hell, shape them into burgers if you want. Make sure everything's mixed.
• Grill that shit until it's done to your mantastic liking.

Extra Advice:

• Seriously, don't fucking touch your eyes. You'll scream like a small child.

Ass-Chowder

Creator: Desperate People

Some days, standard cheese dip just won't cut it. You need MEAT and PAIN. Enter Ass-Chowder.

Summoning the Meat and Cheese Gods

• Cook 3 lbs. ground beef until brown (keep juices if you are a manly fa/tg/uy.
• In a crock pot meltdown 2 blocks of Velveeta Cheese shit (NO OTHER CHEESE WILL DO YOU FOOLS!)
• 1/2 Gal of Salsa (preferably Picante)
• Add 20 oz of Jalapenos or Cerrano peppers (or to taste) to CHEESE
• Add 12 FL. OZ. OF TABASACO to CHEESE (If you really enjoy pain, try Dave's Insanity or Blair's Death)
• Mix in beef until done, set to simmer. IT'S READY FOR THE DEVOURING

After eating be prepared to shit razors. This stuff is hot. This crap will burn it's way through your colon and out into the toilet bowl. Enjoy.