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| [[File:MiniPriest.jpg|300px|right|thumb|[[If the Emperor had a Text-to-Speech Device|Ah! My Manly Man-peror!]]]]
| | '''THE GRAND DAD EMPIRE''' ARE a prolific VINESAUCE-centric MEME group based in BEDROCK CITY. Their largest periods of activity seemed to be around the time SILVAGUNNER was terminated, when they were hosting several unofficial VINESAUCE gaming events (which they assure you repeatedly are ''not'' official Tournaments and are in no way affiliated with JOEL). |
| Ministorum Priests are the <s>wrinkly old ballsacks</s> Preachers, Missionaries, Confessors, Deacons, Pontifices, and other clergy members of the [[Ecclesiarchy]], dispatched to accompany the Imperial Guard during campaigns and battles and to accompany the [[Sisters of Battle]] for roaring speeches and...[[/d/|other uses]]...what, they're like the only men in the Adepta Sororitas, the Sisters can't be ''too'' picky (Well, save for maybe the [[Crusaders]] but they're also part of the [[Inquisition]] and [[Grey Knights]] despite coming from the [[Ecclesiarchy|same place]] as the Sisters...maybe the Crusaders are considered a [[NSFW|'special event']] perhaps?).
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| One may wonder the benefits of being the only one with testicles in an [[Sisters of Battle|entire military order filled to the brim with menstruating, angry women.]] The answer is what you will expect, fantastic when on their good mood and fucking terrifying/noisy when its their [[Red Rage|time of the month.]] At least you have a giant chainsaw by your side in case any of them get particularly trigger happy.
| | They operated out of the SilvaGunner YouTube channel until it was terminated in 2014, after which they appear to have transitioned briefly to GiivaSunner in September of 2016 before returning to SilvaGunner in June of 2018. |
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| ==Overview== | | == CHANNELS == |
| Ministorum Priests essentially act like glorified orators meant to stir up the morale of Guardsmen and Sisters in order to better smite the enemies of mankind from existence. In fact they are so good with their speeches that it can stir a populace to rebelling against a heretic lord or persuade an army to lay down its arms and submit to the mercy of the Emperor (which is inevitably quick and bloody).
| | The original forums appeared to function as four services: preparation and communication in service of coming events, discussion about new HIGH-QUALITY RIPS, MEME showcase, and general VINESAUCE or unrelated discussion. |
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| Priests favour close combat over shooting, and through their inspiring exhortations, instill this ideal into the Guardsmen following them. Such is their fury that priest-led squads will always charge any enemy within reach, making priests as ferocious as [[Commissars]] when it comes to motivating men, although they use inspiration rather than fear.
| | {{awesome}}== EVENTS == |
| | The VINESAUCE MEME events that The GRAND DAD EMPIRE held were known for being diverse and involved, due in large part to their incredibly strong YTP scene. These events would involve VINESAUCE-branded fan-made HIGH-QUALITY RIPS for SONGS that wouldn't exist for nearly a decade, and some that still don't! They also hosted some of the first KING FOR ANOTHER DAY tournaments, with fan HIGH-QUALITY RIPS. |
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| For some reason Inquisitors often see it useful for an Ecclesiarchal clergy member to form part of his retinue. Ecclesiarchy priests attached to a retinue are referred to as [[Hierophant (Inquisition)|Hierophants]] ([[Hierophant|No not the other one]]).
| | In later years, an event known as GRAND FEST was hosting PREMIERES for GRAND DAD Fantasy, KING FOR ANOTHER DAY, GRANDmachine, HE THICC 69, and MEME Wars, as of 2019. |
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| ==Equipment== | | == HIGH-QUALITY RIPS and MEMES == |
| Due to their reliance of close combat weapons, Ministorum Priests prefer an Eviscerator, a massive, ECKS BAWKS HUEG two-handed chainsword capable of inflicting horrific injuries on living creatures, slicing through walls and even destroying vehicles. This overtly violent melee weapon makes the priest an even more powerful individual in close combat.
| | Some HIGH-QUALITY RIPS appear to have seen releases or updates in 5th and 6th edition. Note that The GRAND DAD EMPIRE seem to have been most active between 2012 and 2019. |
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| Additionally Priests often wear a rosarius, a potent device commonly used throughout the Adeptus Ministorum as it has a religious aspect as well as a protective one in that when the field is impacted it gives off a great blast of white light, leading some to believe that the Emperor himself is protecting the priest. A priest is often festooned with purity seals, and sometimes bears a holy relic so that all Emperor-fearing troops looking upon the image will be heartened at the sight.
| | * GRAND DAD 2: SPASTIC BOOGALOO |
| | * GRAND DAD 3: THE GAUNTLET OF ASS (FEATURING SMOL NOZOMI, TITO DICKMAN, SPONGE, HE THICC, and SANS UNDERTALE) |
| | * GRAND DAD 4: GRAND DAD IS GOD |
| | * GRAND DAD 5: DEATH TO 1D4CHAN |
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| =Confessor=
| | GRAND DAD IS LOVE |
| [[File:Confessor.jpg|200px|right|thumb|Someone ''better'' confess on who stole the Canoness' lingerie collection or the entire city will be subjugated with Prometheum.]]
| | GRAND DAD IS LIFE |
| Confessors are a sub-variety of the regular Ministorum Priests. They were once Preachers but have since been promoted for their zeal. When you think of Priests stirring the [[/d/|loins]] of Guardsmen with badass speeches, these are the type of guys your thinking of.
| | GRAND DAD WILL CONQUER THIS WIKI |
| | | FOR MEMES |
| ==Overview==
| | FOR VINESAUCE |
| | | AND FOR |
| Confessors use their oratory skills to stir the emotions of entire crowds, leading them to confess personal heresies and mutations, and to betray their neighbors as psykers or other deviants. They are free to wander within an entire diocese and preach among the population.
| | SILVAGUNNER |
| | | [[Category: Meme]][[Category: GRAND DAD]][[Category: GRAND DAD Fantasy]][[Category: Awesome]] |
| They often work on Imperial colonies with planetary governors and are especially useful on worlds where faith is lacking and the people are rebellious. With special dispensation from the Ecclesiarchy, they may even gather armies of Frateris Militia and lead wars of faith against the enemies of the Imperium. Confessors often wear the Rosarius as both protection and a symbol of their rank (and yet the Brides of the Emperor for all their devotion and this device's public knowledge and high esteem were ignorant of it. So much for being faithful).
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| A Confessor attached to the Missionarus Galaxia is styled Confessor-Militant. There is also the '''Arch-Confessors''', which are the highest rank of Confessor. These servants of the Imperial Creed are exceptional orators who can have swathes of citizens rush forward to confess their sins.
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| All in all, Confessors are the hypeman that drums up how cool the [[Imperial Cult]] is with loud and bombastic speeches whereas the Missionaries use the more quiet, charismatic and diplomatic approach.
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| It is unknown if [[Goge Vandire]] was a Confessor before he became full blown Space Stalin, however, with the way he rolled during the Age of Apostasy, it wouldn't surprise us.
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| =Missionary=
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| [[File:ImpMissionary1.jpg|200px|right|thumb|A Missionary looking like he just step onto a planet of Slaanesh worshipers.]] | |
| Like the real world counterpart, a Missionary is an agent of the Missionarius Galaxia and tasked with spreading the word of the Imperial Creed throughout the Imperium. They are the more reasonable members of the Ecclesiarchy as a whole and are willing to spend however much time it takes to convert a world be it decades or even centuries. Helped by the fact the Ecclesiarchy will take pretty much any acceptance of the Emperor's divinity as good enough and rubber stamp it.
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| ==Overview==
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| Missionaries have little guidance from the Adeptus Ministorum and are mainly free to spread the faith in any way they see fit, due to this they are surprisingly flexible, pragmatic and liberal in the largely conservative orthodoxy of the Ecclesiarchy.
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| Missionaries are skilled in oration, manipulation, and subtly changing a culture to bring it into line with the Imperial Cult in contrast to the more bombastic oration from a Confessor. This is usually done by replacing the gods of the existing pantheon with Imperial Saints or the ritual consumption of human flesh with that of a rare animal. If these methods fail to change the religious habits of a newly discovered population, they are also often skilled warriors not above the use of brute force.
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| They usually run charitable institutions called Missions on newly discovered human worlds. Missions take the form of schools and hospitals. One of the purposes of these institutions is to further the observance of the Imperial Cult. The most famous Missions are the Schola Progenium, which are schools for training Imperial orphans to be Imperial servants.
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| Missionaries range from the young fervent hopefuls to the old, wise, and toughened members of the Missionarus Galaxia. They are always at the forefront of Imperial expansion and accompany the crusading armies as they discover new worlds and contact lost civilizations.
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| The most famous Missionary is [[Uriah Jacobus]].
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| {{Template:Sisters-of-Battle}}
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| {{Template:Imperial-Guard}}
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| {{Template:Inquisition}}
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THE GRAND DAD EMPIRE ARE a prolific VINESAUCE-centric MEME group based in BEDROCK CITY. Their largest periods of activity seemed to be around the time SILVAGUNNER was terminated, when they were hosting several unofficial VINESAUCE gaming events (which they assure you repeatedly are not official Tournaments and are in no way affiliated with JOEL).
They operated out of the SilvaGunner YouTube channel until it was terminated in 2014, after which they appear to have transitioned briefly to GiivaSunner in September of 2016 before returning to SilvaGunner in June of 2018.
CHANNELS
The original forums appeared to function as four services: preparation and communication in service of coming events, discussion about new HIGH-QUALITY RIPS, MEME showcase, and general VINESAUCE or unrelated discussion.
EVENTS
The VINESAUCE MEME events that The GRAND DAD EMPIRE held were known for being diverse and involved, due in large part to their incredibly strong YTP scene. These events would involve VINESAUCE-branded fan-made HIGH-QUALITY RIPS for SONGS that wouldn't exist for nearly a decade, and some that still don't! They also hosted some of the first KING FOR ANOTHER DAY tournaments, with fan HIGH-QUALITY RIPS.
In later years, an event known as GRAND FEST was hosting PREMIERES for GRAND DAD Fantasy, KING FOR ANOTHER DAY, GRANDmachine, HE THICC 69, and MEME Wars, as of 2019.
HIGH-QUALITY RIPS and MEMES
Some HIGH-QUALITY RIPS appear to have seen releases or updates in 5th and 6th edition. Note that The GRAND DAD EMPIRE seem to have been most active between 2012 and 2019.
- GRAND DAD 2: SPASTIC BOOGALOO
- GRAND DAD 3: THE GAUNTLET OF ASS (FEATURING SMOL NOZOMI, TITO DICKMAN, SPONGE, HE THICC, and SANS UNDERTALE)
- GRAND DAD 4: GRAND DAD IS GOD
- GRAND DAD 5: DEATH TO 1D4CHAN
GRAND DAD IS LOVE
GRAND DAD IS LIFE
GRAND DAD WILL CONQUER THIS WIKI
FOR MEMES
FOR VINESAUCE
AND FOR
SILVAGUNNER