Porn Mine

This is a companion fluff story for the /tg/ homebrew game Server Crash.

Me and my pals, we had seen so many things. None of us originated from the webforts: We came from the darkest and most dangerous slums in the web, of those that were inhabited by humans anyway. Ever since we were kids, we had to learn to fend off AIs and Cybers and even an occasional Virus. When we grew up, we started to travel. We boldly took any unknown link, to see what lay behind. We survived. We grew in strength.

We thought we were ready for Google. Oh, how wrong we turned out to be.

Our firewalls couldn't take the assault: It was breached in minutes. Falman was down first, ripped apart by creatures from darkness. His screams still haunt me in my dreams. I could hear the screams behind me when I ran, as Flint, our hacker, met his doom. I didn't turn to watch. We picked the first link we saw and plunged through. The other side was full of Bots, but we knew how to handle Bots.

Four out of a dozen survived, one of us badly hurt. We fortified the link, swearing not to go back ever again, before looking at what we had stumbled upon. Our mouths fell.

Porn. Entire gigabytes of porn. We had found a goldmine by accident! We could have set upon our link to this spot, and Facebook could have become rich beyond all its dreams, but unfortunately the one who had carried the link had been the poor Russ, who was left behind.

So we took all the porn we could carry, and kept walking. We had no idea where we were: Stuck in the deepest, creepiest, and darkest holes of the web, so far unknown to man. Every link around us was a deathtrap. We didn't know if we could ever get out alive.

So how did we get out? How am I here now, telling you this story? Are you sure you want to know? Are you sure you can handle the truth?

Very well. If you think you're so tough, then listen...