Rape

A lovely rapeseed flower in a field.

The act of "rape" is by having an individual to perform a sexual act against their will, usually ending with the victim being ultimately powerless to fight off their aggressor(s); it's considered one of worst things one person can do to another, with numerous arguments placing it either above, next to or just below murder or forced mind-wiping. Its also the name of a type of Canola. It's also a verb used by assholes whose sense of humor died tragically at 14. Same dudes who couldn't stop calling every female dog "bitch" for like three months.

• Three full squads of laser destroyer rapiers vs a grot tank.
• Anything without a good invunerable save going up against Thunderwolf Cavalry in melee
• A Dreadnought getting ambushed by 30 Tankbustas
• Pre-FAQ Anacharis Scoria vs ANYTHING.
  • FAQ vs Anacharis Scoria.
• Anything, ANYTHING without Eternal Warrior against Sigismund or Constantin Valdor in a challenge.
• Anything on the table (other than Leman Russ) with Horus Lupercal, including the table itself.
• Ferrus Manus riding atop a Landraider Spartan like a surfer, repairing it, as he is shooting his assault weapons, before Swanton Bombing (look it up) into the nearest unit and smashing it with Forgebreaker.
• Konrad Curze against anything that's not immune to fear.
• A World Eaters player trying to out-assault a Space Wolves player.
  • HAH! NO LONGER! Have at thee, loyalist dog! Blood for the Blood God!
• Almost anything against a Thousand Sons Grand Coven
• Cadia at the end of Gathering Storm I
• Ahzek Ahriman, in a supreme command detachment with 4 psykers and Magnus against Custodes.
• Going against a Blood Angels army that fields more than 3 Death Company Dreadnoughts
• A squad of Grots facing down a Chaos Vindicator.
• A unit of Custodian Guard against a Tau unit in melee combat.
• A Tau unit of any kind against anything that can enter melee combat. Even another Tau unit.
• A Tau unit armed with pulse carbines, led by a Fireblade, within 12" of an Ethereal, within 18" of ANYTHING.
• Damn near anything facing down a Dreadknight.
• A ten-man squad of Hetaeron charging a lone Chaos cultist.
• A squad of Daemons facing down a Grey Knight Terminator Squad.
• A single heretic against an Inquisitor Lord.
• Anything within 6 inches of Abaddon the Despoiler that isn't a snowflake character (and even then only a handful are good enough to put brakes on Abby's rape train)
• Anything within 6 inches of Mephiston.
• A squad of Imperial Guardsmen against a Dark Eldar raiding party. In more ways than one...
  • The same scenario, in reverse, with SLYYYYYY MAAAAAAARBO
• An Ork army facing a trio of Manticore Rocket Launchers.
• A horde of Tyranid gaunts against a Land Raider Redeemer.
• Said landraider being shishkebabbed by 10 or more carnifexes
• A Dreadnought at standoff range against a trio of XV88 Battlesuits.
• A command Leman Russ Vanquisher with co-axial heavy stubber, artificer hull and monster-slayer shells against anything without solid invuln save.
• A Sisters of Battle Player in 5th any Edition.
• A Sisters of Battle player vs Slanneshi Daemonettes
• Anything without a 2+ save deepstriking within 36 inches of a missleside squad.
• C'tan Shards have been on the giving and receiving end.
• Eldar when Goto is on the prowl.
• Warhammer 40K fluff and crunch at the hands of Matt Ward.
• The Sisters of Battle at the grubby hands of Matt Ward.
• Anything at the hands of Matt Ward.
• An uppity PC against a grumpy GM.
• Tomb of Horrors
• Tomb Kings before their recent update.
• Vlad von Carstein in Total War: WARHAMMER.
• An oldschool Magic: The Gathering deck going up against any other deck sporting cards from ANY expansions in the last five years or so.
• Anything under the leadership of Abigail the Armless vs anything under the command of Creed.
• A troll talking to a fa/tg/uy.
• A unit of heretics being assaulted by a full unit of Honour Guard all equipped with relic blades.
• Any vehicle that is in the line of sight of a Hammerhead. (Bonus points if Longstrike is in it and he's facing down IG)
• What Fish of Fury used to be.
• What the Riptide is now.
• A table that was Made in China used by Ork, Tyranid and Guard players. Bonus points if using metal mini's or playing apocalypse
• Dark Eldar going up against Orks in Apocalypse.
• Tyranids going up against Dark Eldar in Apocalypse.
• Anything going up against Chaos Guard+Marines+Daemons combo in Apocalypse.
• Angron charging anything.
• Lorgar transfigured
• 7E Magnus
• A plague marine fighter with the combat specialism, grandfather's blessing and a Flail of Corruption in melee against anything in Kill Team
• Deathwatch Frag Cannon in Kill Team.
• Being able to take 4 Deathwatch Frag Cannons in a single kill team in Kill Team.
• Adeptus Custodes in melee against ANYTHING (in kill team, 40k or 30k).
• Burna-boyz overwatching anything without terminator armor stupid enough to charge them.
• Wraithguard with D-scythes overwatching anything, up to and including bio-titans
  • D-Weapons in general if the Dice God favors a player that uses Codex Eldar: Craftworlds.
    • What the Wraith Knight became in said Codex.
• <insertname>wing army facing a trio of Ectoplasma Forgefiends or Ion Riptide battlesuits
• Daemons vs Grey Knights
• Chaos Space Marines vs Grey Knights
• Anyone trying to outsmart - Hang on, what's that Titan doing there?
• Anyone within charge range of a Genestealer brood
• A Carnifex charging a Chimera
• The Swarmlord.
  • The Swarmlord's rules in 6th and 7th
    • Fuck it, Tyranid rules for 6th and 7th in general
• Imperator class battle titan.
• Necron mass flyer list vs anything but Imperial Guard with 18 hydras.
• Elysian mass flyer list vs ANYTHING.
• When Cultists are holding your objectives
• When Guardsmen are holding your objectives
• When Guardsmen are charging objectives
• Ollanius Pius when he put his Bass ass self between Papa Emps and Horus
• Warlord Titans
• When Daemons of Khorne are charging anything
• Skulltaker w/Juggernaut vs. Anything
• 6th Edition Vortex Deathstrike Missile aimed at anything not in Terminator Armour.
• A Hierophant Biotitan with 3++ saves and feel no pain against anything.
• 6th edition Tau.
• Dark Angels against Chaos Marines.
• Just about anything being charged by Blood/Chaos knights.
• DOZE SAME GITZ GETTIN' CHARGED BY BOARBOYZ. AH HA, DOSE UMIES DON'T GOT NUTHIN ON US!
• Anything in 8th against a proper Smash Captain and his command squad.
• Sly Marbo against pretty much everything.
• A trio of XV9's in a 1200 point game. (Preach on.)
• A Lord of Skulls reduced to one Hull Point, armed with a Great Cleaver of Khorne, going up against a Tau Ethereal
• Any army that Robin Cruddace doesn't like.
• Reapers from Mass Effect against the Time Lords from Doctor Who.
• Anything from Sci-Fi against anything from the Marvel Pantheon of Gods.
• Anything worse than AP3 against an opponent who's playing a Siege Assault list. Re-rollable 3+ Armour Saves, for when being That Guy just isn't enough.
• Cypher against anything involving or relating to the Dark Angels.
• Chapter Master Smashbane and Iron Father Smashfucker double teaming some poor sod.
• Anything getting charged by Skarbrand
• A Skaven Hell Pit Abomination getting right back up after dying.
• A Leman Russ Punisher staring down an Ork mob. Bonus points if Pask is commanding it.
• A Leman Russ Punisher with Pask against everything that isnt AV 14
• Nagash. Just. Nagash.
• Malekith as The Eternity King.
• A Knight Crusader in the shooting phase
• A Knight Gallant in the Fight phase
• Whenever Matt Ward touches WH40k
• An Umbra against any number of Imperial Guards/Cannon Fodder.
• Whenever a WH40k fanboy enters a forum regarding space Marines.
• Any sufficiently kitted out Death Star unit in 40K.
• Khorne Daemonkin army that just summoned six Bloodthirsters.
• The "newest" addition to the fuck-you-mine's-bigger contest
• Anything from the fluff regarding the lamenters.
• Vintage deck playing against a standard deck.
• Trying to fight archaon in age of sigmar
• What happens to your brain when you read the rules for Age of Sigmar
• fighting a necrosphinx as with a monsterous creature.
• Anything that gets between an Eversor and it's target. Including Especially!! Allies and Civilians HAHAHA WRYYYYY!!! What The..?? OH HOLY TERRA NOOO!! *Screams and Splattering noises*
• Cassian Dracos in Zone Mortalis.
• WHEN THE SKAVEN BLEW UP THE MOON.
• DARK ANGELS.
• Anything being attacked by army ants. Here's a video of them killing a crab.
• Sly Marbo
• Anything going up against a Thallax.
• Anything on the receiving end of a Skitarii Ranger (equiped with either a Galvanic Rifle or a Transuranic Arqebus, either one works really. Although an Arqebus could equate to an exterminatus if it hits the ground or the next planet in sight).
• KX139 Battlesuits.
• Leman Russ fighting anything in melee (including other Primarchs).
• Solar Auxilia LORD-MARSHAL and his entire force making Marines look like whiny pussies, being Ld10, Stubborn, and re-rolling 6 on Morale and Pinning Checks.
• Drazhar against anything, ANYTHING AT ALL not wearing armor. And a lot of things that are.
• Kenshiro vs anything armored and unarmoured. Even MOTHERFUCKING BATTLE TANKS, BITCH.
• Longstrike firing at a single wound model with any kind of buff to his hit roll in 8th edition.
• Volcano Cannons in 8th edition.
• An army of only Carnifexes is now totally possible and somewhat viable
• A whole army made up entirely of Pyrovores, about to die RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF YOUR OPPONENT'S ARMY.
• Ghazghkull Thraka with 90 Ork Boyz in 8E backed up with a Waaagh! Banner Nob.
• Everything in this list against Sly Marbo
• The fact that the one Imperial Guard motherfucker with the silly name is on this list 3 times (that’s not the only place he is)
• Roboute Guilliman
• The Nightbringer, especially in 3rd edition and 9th edition.
• Any infantry of walker without a good anti personnel weapon vs a sufficiently large amount of IG. Seriously, enough shots shoots holes in SPACE MARINES. According to fluff anyway...
• 20 Y'Vahra Battlesuits at far range without cover, vs 30 Basilisks behind cover, with a spotter with a vox. For context, Basklisks have AP3, Battlesuits, AS3. Yep. Fun fun!
• The Ubersreik 5 against any skaven at any amount, even with a few Chaos Warriors, monsters like rat ogres or weapon teams mixed in.
• A Gorkanaut using a series of crush attacks with its claw on any nearby dreadnaut
• The Temple Gargant. Just... The Temple Gargant.
• Titans
• Warden Pattern Knights against blob armies
• Encountering a Methuselah.
• Encountering Atropus in a campaign. Its not just you getting raped, the whole world is.
• FATAL. A more literal version in this case And a sexier version too HERESY!)
• The Nightbringer against anything with an invuln and 3+ or worse save
• A Flayed Ones bomb with the Deceiver.

See also

• Anal circumference
• For those who came here looking for something else, it's here. Not that I'm one of those people... Nice try Slaaneshi cultist! *BLAM*

Gallery

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  Elf Slave, Wat Do?