Arseplomancer: Difference between revisions

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Dungeons and Dragons 3.X has some pretty crazy builds, (the most infamous of all, is of course, [[Pun-Pun]]). While not as infamous as Pun-Pun, this build does have some infamy to call its own, and rightly so. The way this build is used is to have the character to use the escape artist skill in a spectacular fashion (e.i. crawl into a victim's digestive track via his/her anus), resulting in not only the victim exploding, but onlookers become fanatical followers at the wondrous display. I almost wish we were joking.
Dungeons and Dragons 3.X has some pretty crazy builds if you dig into the right sourcebooks.  The most infamous of all, is of course, [[Pun-Pun]], but this particular build is perhaps even more lulzy, if not quite as horribly powerful. The idea is to have the character to use the escape artist skill to murder a man in a spectacular fashion, primarily by crawling into a victim's digestive track via his/her anus, resulting in not only the victim exploding, but onlookers becoming fanatical followers at the wondrous display. We almost wish we were joking.
 
==The Build==
==The Build==
The exact particulars of the build are not set in stone, but here are the core requirements:
The exact particulars of the build are not set in stone, but here are the core requirements:
* A Small race and-or the ''alter self'' spell to become one (since, otherwise, you'd have a hell of a time fitting into the average Medium creature's asshole)
* A Small race and-or access to the ''alter self'' spell to become one (since, otherwise, you'd have a hell of a time fitting into the average Medium creature's asshole)
* 5 levels in the prestige class Exemplar (Exemplar is a [[prestige class]] in complete adventurer)
* 5 levels in the prestige class Exemplar (Exemplar is a [[prestige class]] in complete adventurer)
* Skill Mastery (escape artist). (This is done with the exemplar prestige class)
* Skill Mastery (escape artist). (This is done with the exemplar prestige class)
* Skill Artistry (escape artist). (This is done with the exemplar prestige class)
* Skill Artistry (escape artist). (This is done with the exemplar prestige class)
* A somewhat generous interpretation of Exemplar's level 5 class feature, Persuasive Performance, assuming you want to use the follower portion.
* A somewhat generous interpretation of Exemplar's level 5 class feature, Persuasive Performance, assuming you want to use the follower portion and not to just kill people with ass-splosions.
* A way to grow (e.g. the spell Righteous Might, the psionic power Expansion, or any magic item charged with a use of Enlarge Person)
* A way to grow (e.g. the spell Righteous Might, the psionic power Expansion, or any magic item charged with a use of Enlarge Person)
* A way to get your escape artist skill bonus really high. Probably through different stackable boosts (feats, skill ranks, magic items, class abilities etc.)
* A way to get your escape artist skill bonus really high through different stackable boosts (feats, skill ranks, magic items, class abilities etc.)
* A way to ensure that your expansion is sufficient to kill (some kinda Strength boost)


==The Set Up==
==The Set Up==
Line 15: Line 17:


==How it works==
==How it works==
According to the epic level handbook an escape artist check of DC 80 is:
According to the epic level handbook an escape artist check of 80 is:
<blockquote>"the DC for getting through a space when one’s head shouldn’t even be able to fit; this can be as small as 2 inches square for Medium-size creatures. Halve this limit for each size category less than Medium-size; double it for each size category greater than Medium-size. If the space is long, such as in a chimney, multiple checks may be called for."</blockquote>
<blockquote>"the DC for getting through a space when one’s head shouldn’t even be able to fit; this can be as small as 2 inches square for Medium-size creatures. Halve this limit for each size category less than Medium-size; double it for each size category greater than Medium-size. If the space is long, such as in a chimney, multiple checks may be called for."</blockquote>
This makes you like [http://x-files.wikia.com/wiki/Eugene_Victor_Tooms that killer guy from X-files].
Basically, like [http://x-files.wikia.com/wiki/Eugene_Victor_Tooms that killer boneless guy from ''The X-Files''].
 
The arseplomancer uses this DC to to rapidly crawl through the victim's anus. The Skill Master (escape artist) allows the arseplomancer to take 10 on this skill check. The Persuasive Performance allows the arseplomancer to also make this escape artist check act as a diplomacy check for improving attitudes as long as the onlookers are within 30 ft. A sufficiently high diplomacy check is able to turn onlookers into fanatics, the difficulty varies depending on the starting attitude, thus turning ordinary people into devoted disciples of this mighty super-man who can leap into assholes.  


The arseplomancer uses this DC to to crawl up the victim's anus. The Skill Master (escape artist) allows the arseplomancer to take 10 on this skill check. The Persuasive Performance allows the arseplomancer to also make this escape artist check act as a diplomacy check for improving attitudes as long as the onlookers are within 30 ft. A sufficiently high diplomacy check is able to turn onlookers into fanatics, the difficulty varies depending on the starting attitude. Thus the onlookers become fanatics. Once the arseplomancer is inside the victim he can use his way to grow in order to grow, exploding the victim. In order for this to work, the arseplomancer needs to pass a DC to burst through the victim. To determine if you are successful, you require to perform a Strength check. The DC is calculated by reducing the damage by the Hardness of the material (in the case of leather this is 2) and if any damage remains, deducted it from the object's hit points (5/inch of thickness in the case of leather). Because flesh is weaker than leather, the DC for the flesh would be lower than that.
Once the arseplomancer is inside the victim he can activate his size-changing power in order to grow, exploding the victim from within. In order for this to work, the arseplomancer needs to pass a DC to burst through the victim. To determine if you are successful, you require to perform a Strength check. The DC is calculated by reducing the damage by the Hardness of the material (in the case of leather this is 2) and if any damage remains, deducted it from the object's hit points (5/inch of thickness in the case of leather). Because flesh is weaker than leather, the DC for the flesh would be lower than that.


==Ways to improve your bonus to escape artist checks==
==Ways to improve your bonus to escape artist checks==
* High dex is good
* High dexterity is good.
* Dumping EVERY SINGLE POINT(you can) INTO IT (obviously).
* Dumping EVERY SINGLE POINT INTO THE SKILL.
* The Exemplar prestige class also gives a lot of skill bonuses.
* The Exemplar prestige class also gives a lot of skill bonuses.
* Perhaps some levels in Rogue.
* Perhaps some levels in Rogue.
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* The spell, Shadow Form (from Complete Adventure), which not only enhances Escape Artist checks but makes ''any'' attempt to leap into a man's innards from the outside even easier.
* The spell, Shadow Form (from Complete Adventure), which not only enhances Escape Artist checks but makes ''any'' attempt to leap into a man's innards from the outside even easier.


==Ways to add to the Fun==
==Ways to add to the FUN==
* The complete adventurer says you can cut the time of an escape artist attempt in half at the cost of increasing the DC by 10
* ''The Complete Adventurer'' says you can cut the time of an escape artist attempt in half at the cost of increasing the DC by 10


==Outside Links==
==Outside Links==

Revision as of 04:23, 31 December 2014

Dungeons and Dragons 3.X has some pretty crazy builds if you dig into the right sourcebooks. The most infamous of all, is of course, Pun-Pun, but this particular build is perhaps even more lulzy, if not quite as horribly powerful. The idea is to have the character to use the escape artist skill to murder a man in a spectacular fashion, primarily by crawling into a victim's digestive track via his/her anus, resulting in not only the victim exploding, but onlookers becoming fanatical followers at the wondrous display. We almost wish we were joking.

The Build

The exact particulars of the build are not set in stone, but here are the core requirements:

  • A Small race and-or access to the alter self spell to become one (since, otherwise, you'd have a hell of a time fitting into the average Medium creature's asshole)
  • 5 levels in the prestige class Exemplar (Exemplar is a prestige class in complete adventurer)
  • Skill Mastery (escape artist). (This is done with the exemplar prestige class)
  • Skill Artistry (escape artist). (This is done with the exemplar prestige class)
  • A somewhat generous interpretation of Exemplar's level 5 class feature, Persuasive Performance, assuming you want to use the follower portion and not to just kill people with ass-splosions.
  • A way to grow (e.g. the spell Righteous Might, the psionic power Expansion, or any magic item charged with a use of Enlarge Person)
  • A way to get your escape artist skill bonus really high through different stackable boosts (feats, skill ranks, magic items, class abilities etc.)
  • A way to ensure that your expansion is sufficient to kill (some kinda Strength boost)

The Set Up

  • A victim
  • People within 30 feet willing to watch.

How it works

According to the epic level handbook an escape artist check of 80 is:

"the DC for getting through a space when one’s head shouldn’t even be able to fit; this can be as small as 2 inches square for Medium-size creatures. Halve this limit for each size category less than Medium-size; double it for each size category greater than Medium-size. If the space is long, such as in a chimney, multiple checks may be called for."

Basically, like that killer boneless guy from The X-Files.

The arseplomancer uses this DC to to rapidly crawl through the victim's anus. The Skill Master (escape artist) allows the arseplomancer to take 10 on this skill check. The Persuasive Performance allows the arseplomancer to also make this escape artist check act as a diplomacy check for improving attitudes as long as the onlookers are within 30 ft. A sufficiently high diplomacy check is able to turn onlookers into fanatics, the difficulty varies depending on the starting attitude, thus turning ordinary people into devoted disciples of this mighty super-man who can leap into assholes.

Once the arseplomancer is inside the victim he can activate his size-changing power in order to grow, exploding the victim from within. In order for this to work, the arseplomancer needs to pass a DC to burst through the victim. To determine if you are successful, you require to perform a Strength check. The DC is calculated by reducing the damage by the Hardness of the material (in the case of leather this is 2) and if any damage remains, deducted it from the object's hit points (5/inch of thickness in the case of leather). Because flesh is weaker than leather, the DC for the flesh would be lower than that.

Ways to improve your bonus to escape artist checks

  • High dexterity is good.
  • Dumping EVERY SINGLE POINT INTO THE SKILL.
  • The Exemplar prestige class also gives a lot of skill bonuses.
  • Perhaps some levels in Rogue.
  • Vest of Escape.
  • Feats
    • Agile
    • Skill Focus (escape artist)
  • Magic items that boost it and/or enhance other boosts on it.
  • The spell, Shadow Form (from Complete Adventure), which not only enhances Escape Artist checks but makes any attempt to leap into a man's innards from the outside even easier.

Ways to add to the FUN

  • The Complete Adventurer says you can cut the time of an escape artist attempt in half at the cost of increasing the DC by 10

Outside Links

See Alsos

Anal Circumference

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