WARMACHINE

WARNING

This page is about WARMACHINE, the MANLIEST most AGGRESSIVE GAME EVER. This AIN'T YOUR MOMMA'S WIKI! READ LIKE YOU'VE GOT A PAIR! And NOT a pair of EYES, A PAIR OF BALLS! A PAIR OF BALLS FOR EYES! Only the MANLIEST, most TESTOSTERONE-FILLED readers can do this subject JUSTICE. NO GIRLS ALLOWED! WARMACHINE is a THICK, SOLID JUGGERNAUGHT, too MASSIVE AND MEATY for anyone but the MANLIEST OF MEN to read. WARMACHINE isn't reinventing the WIKI, it's COVERING IT IN SPIKES and FORCING IT into the SOFT, YIELDING HOLES of your EYES. IF you can't take the POWER, GET OFF OF THE INTERNET! MERE ones and zeroes CANNOT CONTAIN THE PAIN! GET READY to READ FOR YOUR LIFE! You will NEVER BE THE SAME AGAIN!

Warmachine

This is why we hate Warmachine.

A game by Privateer Press. Its main selling point is that all its models are made of pewter and players tend to go apeshit on anyone who converts them. Fans often claim that Warmachine models are cheaper than Warhammer ones, but in practice both GW and Privateer Press are ripping you off, so it doesn't really matter if they are. Players are encouraged to play the game as though they have a pair of steel plated testicles, which often results in them antagonizing other wargamers at Local Gaming Stores.

Some of their Warjack miniatures are more ridiculous looking than even GW's, and are sometimes referred to as "topplenoughts" due to their top heavy appearance and superficial resemblance to Wahammer 40k dreadnoughts. Their infantry models are commonly regarded as being better designed than GW's plastics, however.

Warmachine is based, along with Hordes, in the Iron Kingdoms, as featured in the 3e D&D Iron Kingdoms books. There are noticeable differences between the RP and wargame versions of the setting, in that one in four of the population in the Warmachine version is Eyriss, Mage Hunter, and most of the remaining humans, dwarves and else are dedicated to preventing her from shooting at warcasters.

Warmachine has only one real faction: Khador. Everyone else just moans about Khador winning the National Warmachine tournaments year after year. For those whining non-Khador fags there are several alternatives (which all suck due to not being Khador obviously): Cygnar, Cryx, Protectorate of Menoth, and Mercenaries.

Also commonly known as Skubmachine.

How to instantly kill all their Warjacks

Spray them with water, they're all fucking steam powered, what the fuck did you think was their weakness?

Alternatively, you can kill their Warcaster. In a game where you've gotta play like you have balls of steel, make sure you keep your leader as far from combat as possible.