Assholetep: Difference between revisions

From 2d4chan
Jump to navigation Jump to search
← Older editNewer edit →
VisualWikitext
1d4chan>NotBrandX
mNo edit summary
1d4chan>AbesolutZERO
No edit summary
Line 1: Line 1:
{{Wh40k-stub}}
{{Wh40k-stub}}


Assholetep the Insufferable. An asshole Necron.
Assholetep is such an asshole. Everytime I'm cleaning my necroteslagaussflayergun he comes in and is all "heh, still not as big as mine" and winks and laughs all the way down the stasis chamber. What an asshole.


Assholetep is such an asshole. Everytime I'm unfolding my Tesseract Labyrinth he comes in and is all "Funny how you can get into a toy, but not into a Necrontyr babe's pants" and winks and laughs all the way down the stasis chamber. What an asshole.
"An aeons old soulless automaton king... with the petulant impatience and obnoxious tantrums of a 7 year old child."


Assholetep is such an asshole. Everytime I'm playing cards, he burns down several orphanages beats me savagely and forces me to watch an eternity of horrible rap music videos. What an asshole.
+++ Imperial Star Charts name this world the Tomb World of the Necron Lord, Assholetep the Insufferable.


Assholetep is such an asshole. Everytime I'm recovering relics from a fallen Tomb World he comes in and is all "heh, last night I recovered your mom" and winks and laughs all the way down the stasis chamber. What an asshole.
RECOMMENDATION: Avoid at all costs. Assholetep is easier to insult than a catty gay hipster at a costume party on Halloween where like 3 other gay men dressed as the same obscure superhero that you never heard of.


Assholetep is such an asshole. Everytime I'm purging the heretics and a battle brother dies and is all "Hey dont worry, he can get back u- Oh wait" and winks and laughs all the way down the stasis chamber. What an asshole.
Below are a collection of anecdotes pertaining to the many misdeeds and tantrums of Assholetep the Insufferable.


Assholetep is such an asshole. Everytime the Stars are Right he comes in and is all "heh, took a viagra huh?" and winks and laughs all the way down the stasis chamber. What an asshole.


Assholetep is such an asshole. Everytime im cleansing the xenos he comes in and is all "You know what they say about men with big swords" and winks and laughs all the way down the stasis chamber. What an asshole.
>Wake up
>Orks looted his favorite Staff of Light
>Teleport entire Tombworld's forces to fight massive Waaagh three sectors over
>IG happen to be fighting the Orks
>Help them
>At victory party
>Planetary-Governor doesn't compliment his new cloak
>Entire sub-sector devoid of all life the next week


Assholetep is such an asshole. Everytime I try to tell him about joining the greater good, he pretends to be interested, wastes my time for an hour then says "The greater good? The greater shit more like" and winks and laughs all the way down the stasis chamber. What an asshole.
--------------------


Assholetep is such an asshole. Everytime I threaten to rape and maim him hes all "Not if i rape you first, tinydick" and winks and laughs all the way down the stasis chamber. What an asshole.
>Fighting Tyranids
>Rippers won't let him keep them as pets
>To this day, nobody knows what has been cutting a bloody path through Hive Fleet Kraken


Assholetep is such an asshole. Everytime I go to polish my Fire Pike he comes in and is all "I'd let you polish my rod if ya know what I mean" and winks and laughs all the way down the stasis chamber. What an asshole.
--------------------


Assholetep is such an asshole. Everytime Im tearing a new one on some xenos he comes in and is all "At least my Lords not a cripple" and winks and laughs all the way down the stasis chamber. What an asshole.
>It's his birthday
>The Feudal World that hasn't had contact from space in thousands of years forgot
>Entire population butchered
>Flayed Ones dance around in rotting flesh and party hats


Assholetep is such an asshole. Every time I'm dropping some Steel Rain he comes in and is all "Brother Captain Tay Zonday did it better," and winks and laughs all the way down the stasis chamber. What an asshole.
--------------------


Assholetep is such an asshole. Everytime I'm leaving the warp, he comes up behind me and says 'you know what they say about burly men who dedicate all their deeds and greatest triumphs to other burly men,' and winks and laughs all the way down the stasis chamber. What an asshole.
>At victory Banquet after fending off Hive Fleet Gorgon at Ka'mais
>Nobody lets him ride in a Crisis Suit
>MFW we know the real reason for the Harvest of Ka'mais


Assholetep is such an asshole. Everytime I'm cleaning my many medals and awards, he comes up to me and says "You forgot your medal for Pederasty," and winks and laughs all the way down the stasis chamber. What an asshole.
--------------------


Assholetep is such an asshole. Everytime I'm binding Cherubael again, he comes up to me and says "You know when a guy binds another guy" and winks and laughs all the way down the stasis chamber. What an asshole.
>Helps IG fight Chaos for rule over a planet
>Weeks into the campaign
>Lord Commissar mispronounces his name
>The Deamon Prince Valshar now rules over Ciruck IV


Assholetep is such an asshole. Everytime I'm combing my beard, he comes up and is all "Must be hard to get cum out of a white beard huh?" and winks and laughs all the way down the stasis chamber. What an asshole.
--------------------


Assholetep is such an asshole. Everytime I'm putting on my robes, he comes up and is all "Did they repeal Don't Ask Don't Tell yet?" and winks and laughs all the way down the stasis chamber. What an asshole.
>Gives Arch-Magos new shiny Necrodermis body
>Becomes most trusted advisor
>Years later
>Forgets to polish his Res Orb for him
>Magos is melted down and turned into Scarabs. The forgeworld where he grew up is obliterated.


Assholetep is such an asshole. Everytime I'm issuing orders to the Jokaero, he comes up and is all "ya know, Bananas are extinct hehe" and winks and laughs all the way down the stasis chamber. What an asshole.
--------------------


CHK-RRRRR
>Admech find Assholehotep in stasis
>Praise him and write legends about him
>Thousands of ears later they forget
>He finds records when he wakes up
>They haven't edited his page on Admechpedia in 12000 years
>All forgeworlds in the next five sectors melted to a molten goo
 
--------------------
 
>hive world is under attack by nids
>he sees the world being demolished and decides to help
>after a month of hard combat the nids are all eradicated
>the citizens thank the lord and ask what he would like in return
>he asks for a solid gold statue of himself errected in the center of the major city
>they comply
>he inspects the work and finds a 5% impurity of silver in the statue
>the hive world is now a dead world.
 
--------------------
 
>Assholehotep helping a Forgeworld
>One of their Titans steps on a single Scarab
>"What do mean an entire Titan Legion was eaten by bugs"?
 
--------------------
 
>His Tomb Ships assist a fleet based Chapter fight of some Eldar Pirates
>Battle Barge cuts in front of them by accident
>The Space Hawk Chapter no longer exists
 
--------------------
 
>Harvesting residents of a local Feral World
>Hears Feral Child has insulted him
>Entire human population besides the child is killed
>The last image of a sentient creature the child sees is Assholehotep mooning him
 
--------------------
 
>angry marines and asholehotept's destroyers get into an arguing match over who killed the most tau.
>it was a tie.
>they proceeded to go to the next world to try to break the tie.
>the whole sector was fucked.
 
--------------------
 
>Assholehotep is one of the few remaining Lords wearing the original attire
>Always made fun of
>Goes around blowing up other sleeping Tomb Worlds out of spite
>Whispers "Faggots" under his breath every time
 
--------------------
 
>Assholehotep meets with some Admech
>They compliment him on his wonderful Particle Whip
>Entire Admech presence in five sectors destroyed since they confused his Staff of Light for a Particle Whip
 
--------------------
 
>all hot women in a one light year radius suddenly absent from their homes
>sweet millions-strong rave party on Assholetep's tomb world
>Assholetep tries to score with the hottest chick at the party
>she points out he doesn't have a penis
>thus did the Great Raveocaust begin




[[Category:Warhammer 40,000]] [[Category:Necrons]]
[[Category:Warhammer 40,000]] [[Category:Necrons]]

Revision as of 23:24, 31 October 2011

This article related to Warhammer 40,000 is a stub. You can help 1d4chan by expanding it


"An aeons old soulless automaton king... with the petulant impatience and obnoxious tantrums of a 7 year old child."

+++ Imperial Star Charts name this world the Tomb World of the Necron Lord, Assholetep the Insufferable.

RECOMMENDATION: Avoid at all costs. Assholetep is easier to insult than a catty gay hipster at a costume party on Halloween where like 3 other gay men dressed as the same obscure superhero that you never heard of.

Below are a collection of anecdotes pertaining to the many misdeeds and tantrums of Assholetep the Insufferable.


>Wake up >Orks looted his favorite Staff of Light >Teleport entire Tombworld's forces to fight massive Waaagh three sectors over >IG happen to be fighting the Orks >Help them >At victory party >Planetary-Governor doesn't compliment his new cloak >Entire sub-sector devoid of all life the next week

>Fighting Tyranids >Rippers won't let him keep them as pets >To this day, nobody knows what has been cutting a bloody path through Hive Fleet Kraken

>It's his birthday >The Feudal World that hasn't had contact from space in thousands of years forgot >Entire population butchered >Flayed Ones dance around in rotting flesh and party hats

>At victory Banquet after fending off Hive Fleet Gorgon at Ka'mais >Nobody lets him ride in a Crisis Suit >MFW we know the real reason for the Harvest of Ka'mais

>Helps IG fight Chaos for rule over a planet >Weeks into the campaign >Lord Commissar mispronounces his name >The Deamon Prince Valshar now rules over Ciruck IV

>Gives Arch-Magos new shiny Necrodermis body >Becomes most trusted advisor >Years later >Forgets to polish his Res Orb for him >Magos is melted down and turned into Scarabs. The forgeworld where he grew up is obliterated.

>Admech find Assholehotep in stasis >Praise him and write legends about him >Thousands of ears later they forget >He finds records when he wakes up >They haven't edited his page on Admechpedia in 12000 years >All forgeworlds in the next five sectors melted to a molten goo

>hive world is under attack by nids >he sees the world being demolished and decides to help >after a month of hard combat the nids are all eradicated >the citizens thank the lord and ask what he would like in return >he asks for a solid gold statue of himself errected in the center of the major city >they comply >he inspects the work and finds a 5% impurity of silver in the statue >the hive world is now a dead world.

>Assholehotep helping a Forgeworld >One of their Titans steps on a single Scarab >"What do mean an entire Titan Legion was eaten by bugs"?

>His Tomb Ships assist a fleet based Chapter fight of some Eldar Pirates >Battle Barge cuts in front of them by accident >The Space Hawk Chapter no longer exists

>Harvesting residents of a local Feral World >Hears Feral Child has insulted him >Entire human population besides the child is killed >The last image of a sentient creature the child sees is Assholehotep mooning him

>angry marines and asholehotept's destroyers get into an arguing match over who killed the most tau. >it was a tie. >they proceeded to go to the next world to try to break the tie. >the whole sector was fucked.

>Assholehotep is one of the few remaining Lords wearing the original attire >Always made fun of >Goes around blowing up other sleeping Tomb Worlds out of spite >Whispers "Faggots" under his breath every time

>Assholehotep meets with some Admech >They compliment him on his wonderful Particle Whip >Entire Admech presence in five sectors destroyed since they confused his Staff of Light for a Particle Whip

>all hot women in a one light year radius suddenly absent from their homes >sweet millions-strong rave party on Assholetep's tomb world >Assholetep tries to score with the hottest chick at the party >she points out he doesn't have a penis >thus did the Great Raveocaust begin

Retrieved from "http://2d4chan.org/mediawiki/index.php?title=Assholetep&oldid=54146"