Deffwotch

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The following article is a /tg/ related story or fanfic. Should you continue, expect to find tl;dr and an occasional amount of awesome.
This article or section is EXTRA heretical. Prepare to be purged.

IN THE GRIM DARKNESS OF THE FAR FUTURE, WAR RAGES THROUGHOUT THE GALAXY. MANKIND IS UNDER SIEGE ON ALL SIDES FROM XENOS, HERETICS, AND THE TAINT OF CHAOS. THE SPACE MARINES, THE IMPERIUM'S FINEST SOLDIERS, BRING WAR TO THE ENEMIES OF MAN. THEIRS IS AN ENDLESS FIGHT, AS THEY WORK TO SAVE MANKIND FROM ALL ITS FOES.

(record needle scratch)

DIS AIN'T DERE STORY

SOMEWHERE IN DEEP SPACE, A BUNCH OF ORKS HAVE DONE DA IMPOSSIBLE! DEY'VE TRICKED DA IMPERIUM INTO THINKIN' DEY'Z SPESS MEHREENS! DA STUPID 'UMIES AIN'T EVA GONNA KNOW WHAT HIT'EM! OUT ON THE LOOTED REPULSIVE CRUISER "DA LOOTED KROOZA," TROUBLE BREWS...


Watch out for this picture. It signals a Deffwotch thread.

Deffwotch is a Rogue Trader campaign in which all players are Orks posing as a Deathwatch Kill Team. And just in case that alone wasn't hilarious enough, gamemaster Shas'o R'myr tosses in some of his own fluff free of charge.

Less than half the session report threads have been [archived] on Suptg, but they all show up on Foolz:


Da Kill Team

The stars of Deffwotch, deze boyz ain't exactly right in da 'ead, but that doesn't really matter when you're so effective.

Kroz Rubbykonzes - Flyboy/Mekboy

Kroz is a walking arsenal of heavily modified armaments, packing gravitics, pulse, lightning and a shield and breacher drill. The shield is made of Necrons.

Grimslag 'Eadmangla - Kommando

Ultra-Sneaky, 'Eadmangla squeezes into tight spaces and somehow finds ways to snipe from them. Sniper Orks are twice as scary, especially popping up at ten paces with automatic weapons.

Wazgor Shakbag - Stormboy

Probably the most normal 'ork' of the lot, Wazgor flies around on his signature Rokkit Pack wielding an arsenal of Xeno Weaponry, including an Eldar Filament Deathspinner, a Xenarch Death Kannon, and a pair of big ass grenade launchers. Wazgor isn't the brightest of the lot, but he knowz wot's wot about krumpin' beakies.

Grakgut Grumwizzlewot - Painboy

Da Deffwotch Chief Apothecary is more of an armored vehicle. His Flamer-equipped Rokkit-Power-Klaws hit like lascannons, his Mega-Armer powers a set of tank treads. Recently cannons were mounted to him, manned by grots.

Wurrza Zzappar - Weirdboy/Fried-Gunk

As of Episode 21, Wurrza is afflicted with a minor case of scrape-what's-left-into-a-bucket. Kroz and Grakgut are working to make the remains a bit less smouldery.

Da Last Danca- Kustomized Blasta Bomma

Missiles everywhere, Rokkits everywhere the missiles aren't, and turrets in less than secret places. 'Ast Danca can take a beating.


Da Looted Krooza

Looted Repulsive-Class Grand Cruiser

Da Looted Krooza has a variety of weaponry and secondary equipment.

  • Armored Power-Fielded Prow - The only armor improvement possible due to the ancient Grand Cruiser attribute. Stab with your ship, shoot with your sword.
  • Torpedo Launcher - Rough Ork equivalent to a Mars-Pattern, mounted within the prow. Opens in the upper torso in SDS mode.
  • Dorsal Macro Kannonz - Rarely fail to down the target's voidshields. Distributed across the shoulders in SDS mode.
  • Port and Starboard Zzap Lances - Sometimes neglected due to the limited bridge crew, we think they're somewhere around the hips in SDS mode.
  • Wurrza's Wierdboy Tower - The Astrowaagh singin boyz can fire as a short-ranged lance, from atop the ship.
  • Port and Starboard Launch Bays - Several wings of Fightas, Fighta-Bommas and Bommas are launched with every fight, some of which even return. However, the Krooza's SDS mode currently prohibits further launch and recovery. Solution pending.

Da Looted Krooza is an extremely fast vessel, fielding a looted Miloslav drive, a Big Orky Red Button, and a Wrothful tempermet from the days before orks came across the space hulk revived by its new occupants. Even before the Skranda, Da Looted Krooza could overtake the average raider when in battle, and even outturn some of them.


Supa Dimenshun Stompa Mode

Ever since Session 13, da Krooza has had the ability to turn into a super robot. This has gained a few upgrades since then.

  • Orkross Kannon - a Kannon that can fire either as a Macrobattery or as a Charged Shot. It can also function as a Power Sword.
  • Manta Heavy Command Cruiser - Hat: Launch Bay
  • Tyranid Hive Leviathan Chitin - Commissar Captain's Coat that flaps in the winds of spess. Purely cosmetic.
  • Wraith Pauldrons - An Eldar Wraithship smashed in half and worn as pauldrons. Purely cosmetic.
  • Wraith Skranda - Backpack: a looted Eldar Nightshade that grants +1 Speed, a Dodge due to additional engines, and enough power to supply Macro Mode and Charge Mode of the Orkross Kannon
  • Uzgob's Sekret Projekt- Due to the fruit's of Uzgob's labor, da ship can now launch Rokkit Fists at the enemy.

Da Krew

Every Kill Team needs support, and da Krew delivers.

Uzgob - Mekboy

Clarence - Digga

Pliskin - Kommando

CyGrot - Cyborg hydra created by Grakgut when he sewed 5 grot heads onto a boy and then connected them with a Cogitator.

Runtz

This assortment of Grots, Servo-Skulls, and Mutant Rhinos serve da Kill Team either in support or in battle.

Kroz: Dantalion (Servo-Squig)

Grakgut: Grakkagrak (Grot)

'Eadmangla: Dak (Grot with camo skin), Gun Drone (Gun Drone)

Wazgor: Firegit (Grot)

Wurrza: Skullmuncha (Rambisaurus)

Special: Boldo (Battroid)

Skwad Mode

Da Kill Team has a set of special abilities called Skwad mode. These are buffs that are declared at the start of the round and last until the end of it.

WAAAGH: The Dakka never stops coming. Using this ability grants an extra single attack after a full action, even if that action was another attack.

STEEL REHN: The Codex Astartes states the importance of an Orbital Bombardment to soften one's enemies. Once per session, the krew may call in something similar - except they're dropping asteroids! These asteroids even have a 50% chance of having some boyz aboard! When Roks Fall, Everybody Dies. The incoming asteroid causes 5d10+10 Pen 6 Tearing.

An' Dey Know No Zoggin' Fear: Sometimes, the scarier an opponent is, the more encouraging it is for an Ork to fight. Combining the teachings of the Codex Astartes with natural Ork stubbornness, a solution was devised. Engaging this Skwad Mode ability allows for the fear test from an enemy to be ignored, and the Kill Team gains a bonus of +5 WS or BS per Fear Rating.