Team Fortress 2

This is a /v/ related article, which we tolerate because it's relevant and/or popular on /tg/... or we just can't be bothered to delete it.

"Welcome to Team Fortress 2. Please let me know what you think, I can be reached at gaben@valvesoftware.com"

– Gabe Newell, back when he was cool

"Basically, I'm kind of a big deal."

– Scout

Team Fortress 2 is a pillar of video gaming and internet culture in general. It's influence over memes and multiplayer culture can be felt over dozens upon dozens of games.

Gameplay

The game is a class-based multiplayer first person shooter. The core objective varies a whole lot depending on what mode you're playing, but ultimately, it's always about BLU team attacking RED team, or both attacking each other to get the upperhand over something. Originally, each player used a different class to occupy a different role, but with balance changes and the addition of new weapons, each class ended fitting a specific niche or get specific utilities depending on the scenarios. TF2 isn't a game of rock-paper-scissors unlike another certain game, but it's mostly a game where some classes can do anything with different loadouts and gameplay styles (like fighting games, somewhat), and some other are stronger in specific modes.

Classes

Scout

"Grass grows, sun shines, and brother? I hurt people."

– Scout, about what he does best.

Scout, also known as Jeremy, The Prison dodger, "Hitting your balls" Jeremiah, That damn fucking fly or Scunt, is an illeterate, borderline psychotic, fast and unapologetically annoying courrier who's the fastest dude of the bunch. He hits on women all the time, but he's far from being a womanizer, unlike his father. He's also the most atheletic person of the bunch, having the innate ability to double-jump.

Scout, as a class, specializes in massive damage-dealing, capping, movement, and fight-picking. Meaning he's not the one getting into fights, he's the one who chooses whether or not he duels you. Scout, with his poor health-pool, relies on his speed to dodge projectiles, enemy fire, and corner his adversaries. However, should he get face-to-face with a Heavy good at aiming, a Soldier who gives him a faceful of rockets or a Demoman who knew he was gonna pass-by, Scout is ultimately fucked.

Scout is considered to be a Generalist. His excellent speed and double-jump allows him to travel maps faster than any other class, and he has tools to greatly enhance his movement. With his ability to pick fights, he can quickly dispose of a distracted enemy with ease, and make the job of his teammates easier. A perfectly balance class.

Soldier

"If God had wanted you to live, he would not have created ME!"

– Soldier, being objective

Soldier, also known as Jane Doe (yes, he gave himself a female name), Merasmus' roommate, The Real American Psycho, Trolldier, Mr. USA or Solly is a also psychotic, flanderized dumb and outright crazy bazooka-loving american who specializes in rocket-jumping, team-boosting, "moral support" and air-shotting, and is such a patriot that he went to Europe to kill some anti-american nazies, continuing his then-uninterrupted slaughter until someone pointed out to him that the current year was 1949. Soldier is delusional and a very sloppy and unreliable narrator. Whether or not he even had comrades helping him during his massive shootout with the Wehrmart is debatable, and whether or not he knows WHY he's fighting in the badlands is an overall different question.

As a class, Soldier is a very versalite character with a huge emphasis on damage-dealing, mild-crowd control, movement and team-boosting. Needless to say, he's one of the handiest classes in the entire game, and can deal hefty amounts of damage to the enemy team. He's considered to be a generalist by the competitive community. Being both good at defense and offense makes Soldier an ideal class for the veterans AND the noobs.

Pros:

• Soldier's rocket-launcher allows him to deal a very decent amount of damage and maneuver himself around the map easily
• Rocket-jumping isn't easy, but with enough practice, it becomes your greatest advantage against anyone
• While not tanky, you can definetely take a lot of damage before succumbing
• Your banners make you a valuable asset for your whole team

Cons:

• You're slow. If it weren't for your rocket-jumping, you'd be a rocket-launching Heavy.
• You are prone to get yourself cornered easily if your team does not support you.

Pyro

"Hmmhmmphfff hmmppphfff hmmmppph!"

– Pyro

Pyro, also known as... Pyro, is a maniac, psychotic, axe-crazy, flame-loving, man-melting menace who loves everything that burns or can make things burn. He... She... IT probably isn't a man at all and most likely a monster that uses a fire-hazard suit to guise himself as a man. I mean, one quick look at its cosmetic should tell you everything about Pyro. It has a very specific vision of the world, or well, ITS world, cutely named Pyroland. Some have taken advantaged of his child-like sense of "wonder" (read; morbid curiosity) to employ her into doing various unethical jobs. So far, he's considered to be a wild card by everyone, including his own team. The only three who really appreciate him being Soldier, Engineer and Miss Pauling.

In game, Pyro is a jack of all trades. He specializes in close-range combat, crowd-control, fending off enemies, front-line defense, spy-checking, general assistance and decent damage-dealing. His flamethrower allows him to not only put his opponents aflame, but also to reflect the projectiles of both Soldiers and Demomen, making him a serious menace for the two of them. On top of that, he can undo any sticky-trap, push enemies away or prevent them from progressing, or make Spy's life a living-hell. He's often considered to be Engie's best friend, due to the fact that he possesses weapons and tools to help him around with his buildings, most notably the homewrecker, which allows him to un-sap buildings.

With all of that said however, Pyro is also one of the most polarizing classes in the game, sharing that reputation with Sniper.

Demoman

"Oh, they gon' tuh have to glue yue back togetha', IN HELL!"

– Demoman, after he gibs someone.

Hailing from Ullapool, Scotland, Demoman, also known as Tavish Degroot, Captain KABEWM, Demopan, Delak's favourite, Average Scrumpy Appreciator or simply Demo is a Black Scottish Cyclops. They got more fucking monsters in the Loch Ness than they got the likes of him. Working four different jobs to support his financially stable and blind mother and treat the many acres of land he owns, Demoman finds joy in pure slaughter, demolition, and demolition accessories. If it wasn't for his raging obession with alcohol, he'd be considered the "sanest" member of Team Fortress. Well, he's a massive workaholic on top of an alcoholic, and he's such of an addict that he turned his whole body into a distillery.

Don't ask him about his haunted eye-socket.

Demoman, as a class, is the apex predator of TF2. No, this article was not written by a Demomain. We're just not joking. Demoman's role in the team revolves around hefty damage-dealing, crowd-control and movement. And he's good at all of that. No kidding. He's insanely powerful. And for that reason, he's considered to be a generalist. All of his grenade launches deal massive damage on a direct it, more than the damn rocket-launcher. His stickies, when stacked, deal such damage that no one in a 2 meter radius survives. Well, okay, we're exagerating a little.

Pros:

• You're insanely powerful and can insta-kill people with a well placed sticky-trap.
• You're a very versatile class.
• You're able to maneuver yourself around the map very easily.
• Insane crowd-control.
• Can get busted with the right items.

Cons:

• All of your weapons, to the exception of your melees (except one), damage you.
• Thus, you're effective only at mid-range.

Demoknight

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!"

– Should you hear this in a match, RUN.

Should you decide to drop your grenade-launcher and your sticker-launcher, equip yourself with a sword and shield, and you become the Demoknight, arguably the most accomplished of all the sub-classes in this game.

Demoknight's role revolves around... Erm... Messing with the enemy?

Pros:

• Chaining kills will make you stronger.
• You'll be faster than a Scout.
• You'll almost be as tanky as a Heavy.
• You can get around the map quite easily with trimping.

Cons:

• You have no guns. In a first person SHOOTER.
• People can easily kill you.
• Sentries put your game to a halt.
• Pyros are your worst nightmare.
• So are Heavies.

Heavy

"I've yet to meet one who can outsmart bullet."

– Heavy reflecting on his percieved lack of brains. Which he doesn't lack at all.

Heavy, also known as Misha, The Pootis Man, The Baby-Fighter, Mr."I give my weapons names", Hoovy or The entire Russian block is a large, build-like-a-bear, living weapon of mass destructions and an avid sandvich(sic) connoisseur. Hailing from an unknown part of Russia, Heavy got the job as an artillery man to get enough money to feed his family stuck in the mountains chasing bears. GIANT bears. That's the wholesome part of Heavy. The psychotic part of him comes in the form of his genuine love and care for his guns, which thankfully comes only second to his family. Him and Sasha are considered the face/mascot of TF2 as whole, the two being promoted a lot in ads and official art.

Heavy in game is a slowpoke. He's a specialist and excels in Defense, mild-support, halting the enemy team, and considerable damage-dealing. With Pyro and Sniper, he shares one of the only automatic weapons in the game, which is the most powerful; The Minigun. A god-send for anyone who knows how to properly rev it up and time his shots. While Heavy uses as a shotgun as a secondary, he's also gifted with the third most practical source of health in the entire game; the Almighty Sandvich. He has the most health of the entire bunch, and serves as a literal wall of flesh and guns for anyone who crosses his path.

He has one small issue, though. He is way. too. Fat.

Heavy is HUGE. Meaning that in a game that rewards good aim, he's massive, moving, shouting target. If a Heavy shows up on his own in the middle of a battle without proper support, he becomes everyone's main priority, and dies appropriately seconds later. He's oftentimes the victim of Sniper's headshots, Spy's backstabs, Engie's sentry, Pyro's airblasting, Demo's stickies, Soldier's Direct Hit, and Scout's general mosquito-like attitude. Heavy NEEDS team support to be effective. He can only take care of a target at a time, and requires that the enemy team is distracted enough for them to take of him together.

Engineer

"Don't worry boys, the Engineer is engihere!"

– Engineer, being Engineer.

The Engineer, also known as Dell Conagher, Sentry Man, Mr. Brains over Brawns or Engie is a formidable technician hailing from Texas, and descendant of long running line of inventors and craftmen. Matter of fact, if it weren't for his ancestors, nothing of what happens in TF2 would have happened at all! With twelves P.H.Ds under his belt, Engineer created three of the most practical things a human could possibly dream of; a teleporting device, an ammo and health dispenser, but most importantly, the man-shredding sentry.

As a class, Engineer is... Well...Peculiar.. His role is fairly unique. Unlike his peers, Engineers mostly focuses around creating a solid front-line and install AoDs anywhere he goes! His "versatility" as a class comes to how you decide to use his tools. Engie's role practically revolves around creating safe spaces for his teammates or halt the progression of the enemy team.

In the community, Engineer is seen as a fantastic dwarf. Let's just say that he's so bizarre as a class in an FPS that pretty much everyone agrees he's good in Casual or Highlander. Engimains get absolutely demolished in competitive. For the sole reason that he's so dependent on his buildings that it becomes harder for him to be of any use. On top of that, most of his buildings take time to... Well, build. And in most cases, they won't serve any purpose at all. With everyone being able to zoom to the other end of the map hastily and ammo being more bountiful with less players, Engie's buildings aren't necessary anymore. In a casual try-harding setting however, they are kings... Or so some would let you think. Engie depends a lot on the very people he supports, with a solid team, good ressource management and great positioning and excellent decision making, Engineer makes for a great ally.

Pros:

• Your buildings can solidify the frontline.
• With good management, Engineer becomes better.
• You have decent offensive options.
• THE WRANGLER
• You get the most out of any support you get AND provide.

Cons:

• Two classes are designed specifically to hunt you down.
• Not for the faint of heart. Prepare to panic a whole lot when ANYTHING happens to your buildings.
• You don't have a lot of movement options except for the Eureka Effect and Sentry-Jumping (which takes time)
• You can be very vulnerable.
• You're not very likely to fit in competitive.

Battle-Engie

"Sometimes, you just need a little less gun."

– DATS A ZOGGING LIE

Medic

"This is doctor-assisted homicide!"

– Medic, recommending you to play Battle-Medic, which you shouldn't do.

Sniper

"Sniper's a good job mate. It's challengin' work, outta doors, and a guarantee you won't go hungry."

– Sniper, on his job.

Spy

"Well, off to visit your mother!"

– Spy, being french.

Civilian

"If you win this match, I'll give you a share in my oil company! A small one, mind you."

– John D. Rockefel- Civilian.

Well okay, he's isn't "canon" to TF2. But if Valve finally decided to do something about TF2 Classic, he might as well be! The Civilian is a british V.I.P. and a very wealthy C.E.O. of a multitude of companies across the globe. Unlike many of his peers (or, maybe just like his peers), he absolutely adores bloodsports, oftentimes commenting matches of mercenaries and other assassins killing each other for money. He's also fat, weak and defenseless, only being able to give "moral boosting" to those around him.

The Civilian is the star of the scrapped VIP mode, rendered only playable by the mega-project that is TF2 Classic. As a class he can't do much but give a small mini-crit and speed boost to those he points at. He can also defend himself with his umbrella, but he's as effective in melee-combat as a T'au. His role essentially boils down to being a living, breathing and intelligent payload controlled by a player. He's the only capable of capping certain points and he does so at a relatively fast pace. However, the entire team must baby-sit him into not getting killed.

Pros:

• You're rich.
• The boosts.
• You're quite fast.
• You're good at capping.

Cons:

• The entire team must carry you to victory.
• You're extremely vulnerable.

Mercenary

"Alright, who's the wise guy who just signed his own death warrant!?"

– The man born to be wild.