This article contains PROMOTIONS! Don't say we didn't warn you.

Towergirls (or Tower Girls) is a Choose-Your-Own-Adventure chart detailing a variety of princesses alongside the question of which one(s) the reader would save. It originated from a 'creative' /v/ thread where posters would fill in a meme, the subject of which was a knight bursting through a door with the text "Princess, I've come for you!". The subsequent panel would then be open to the interpretation of the artist. This meme is believed by some to have been inspired by the oft-posted comic depicting a knight rescuing a princess who is revealed to be a kobold. The artist for every major iteration of the Towergirls CYOA thus far (not including 'fan general', 'wyvern/horse princess' edits, etc.) is "Gats" who is seen a the keeper of canon for Towergirls (although he has stated repeatedly that the chart and perks are more suggestion than canon and can be interpreted any way you see fit). The person behind the "Princess, I've come for you!" meme is unknown. Furthermore, another Anon began a project to craft a figurine of each princess.

Within the context of the chart, the "player" is a brave knight who rescues princesses/princes/generals who marry him/her. A large (and constantly growing thanks to a template) list is given, as well as rules for that list. Each option has their own Love, Lust, Wealth, and Power stats along with Likes and Dislikes. Each also has one or more Dowry options, most of which increase the appeal of that princess (compatible sexual organs, the ability to reciprocate emotion, the ability to live comfortably in the princess's environment, and so on). Some however have idols or companions instead of Dowries. Many in earlier incarnations have an army option, although this comes as both an advantage and a disadvantage at times (for example Ant Princess is very poor but has a very large army but they are loyal to her instead of you, or Fish Princess whose army cannot fight on land) although later versions dropped this.

Players may build a harem, or stick to one or two princesses for maximum benefit. Princesses come in multiple tiers, and knights come in multiple flavors (including "is a girl").

The game has far-reaching popularity, with boards like /co/ and /vg/ adding related Princesses (like Krogan Princess, or McDuck Princess) to their charts. Tumblr has also developed a Towergirls community of artists.

For those who claim the concept is sexist, one must remember that the game is essentially the often-praised romantic subplot of games such as Mass Effect and Dragon Age but with all the pesky non-romance content removed. Also any animation. For now. Technically speaking there is a non-"harem builder" element as there is suggested risk in rescuing, empire-building, and actually getting romantic attachment between you. However, this is left to your imagination currently. It is left unestablished whether or not your peasants will blend with the peoples of the princesses.

You don't like it? Move to Russia.

Current Version

All Three Generations, 60 princesses, plus neutral companions and bonus rewards, all done. Once again proving /tg/ gets shit done, at least when somebody with actual talent helps out.

Origin

Possible Pre-Origin Inspiration

What may have started it all. The artist is "Guoh".

Continuation

After the initial popularity, the comic was continued by other artists to it's...logical conclusion.

The /v/ Meme

The /v/ template.

Gats' Towergirls

In continual development.

Charts

Soon, there were thought experiments, from whence all others sprang.

Take your pick, lads.
Featuring both changes for "balance," and some beefcake for all you lady knights out there!

OC's

Princesses come in three different types thus far. Generation I types have two Dowry items granting boons or powers. Generation II have an idol, which has a top and bottom representing the effects of worshiping or renouncing that idol. Generation III have a companion or companions of some kind (although in two cases this is just the princess taking up two spaces) and two bonuses, one awarded to wealthy Knights and one to powerful Knights. All Generations have a Lust Bonus attained for fulfilling their desires and being a dutiful husband. All princesses have a small crown, and appear in a chibi style. The description includes flavor text, the name of their kingdom (note that some share kingdoms), perks and disadvantages, and finally two fetishes/desires and one thing they will not accept or tolerate. All princesses have stats spread out 9 points between Love (their loyalty/maximum emotional connection), Lust (how difficult it is to attain their lust bonus/how dutiful you must be), Wealth, and Power (both representing the territory and miltitary they bring).

Knights have a name (some like Ace have a specific name, others like Lantern Knight have a general name). All Knights have a helmet.

Generation I

The first generation of princesses are held by the first Dragon Princess, who most likely wants to eat them. You are a young knight on your first quest, armed with a sword and a bag containing an assortment of chocolates shaped like penises (no, you aren't allowed to ask why) and have a magic wagon to carry the damsels formerly in distress with. However it only holds four things (regardless of size or weight) other than yourself and a single dowry belonging to the first princess you save, so you must decide whether to fill each space with a dowry or a princess. Any princesses not rescued will either die or be rescued by other knights, you don't know which unless you persuade Dragon Princess 1 to marry you in which case the remaining princesses simply await rescue. Or starvation. Likely rescue. Dragon Princess 1 sits in a cave with her treasure hoard, while the other princesses are to be found in towers arranged around DP1's tower. A Mimic can also be found imitating princesses within. The rules of princess-rescuing (which is universal to all sapient life) involve them giving their dowry to you, to use as you see fit. After rescue, as you spend time with the princess(es) and indulge in their various desires, you build their "lust" stat and upon maxing it out you receive an item or bonus from them (as this happens after rescuing, the cart is not involved).

As you rescue the princesses, your single (very, very small) fief grows as their (usually small) kingdoms/territories are added to it.

Ace, The Knight

Because the protagonist needs some love too, right? Ace is an average human, the jack of all trades who gets to invest some extra points somewhere to specialize himself and is otherwise just your typical xeno-loving average to low intelligence human protagonist. Ed. Note: Ace is not the Canon knight depicted in the original meme, just a creation OC of a series of pictures featuring said knight porking every one of the first generation princesses currently being released by Markydaysaid for a patron called ACE

Kobold Princess

It should come as no surprise, considering the (rumored) origin of Towergirls, that Kobold Princess is the first and arguably the most well-known princess as well as mascot. Given that she is a Kobold, you most likely get access to her people's trap-making skills when they are added to your kingdom.

Despite the naturally vicious, domineering, and unintelligent behavior shown by most fantasy Kobolds, Kobold Princess has only ever been depicted as cheerfully affectionate (and lusty for the warm-blooded body of the Knight). Weirdly, she's normally depicted as only being interested in sex when it's her breeding season, and otherwise not wanting to fuck at all.

Kobold's first Dowry is the Red Candle, which sets another lifespan (it is not stated that it must be a person's) to your own. This can potentially incentivize a Princess who can (or wants to) hurt you to be more careful, or else let you take a Princess like Golem or Zombie out with you if that would give them a Good End somehow (or you're a dick). As she's traditionally depicted as having a lifespan a fraction of Sir Knight's, it's presumed most will use it to ensure she'll grow old with them in a long, happy, sex-filled life, as opposed to dropping dead of old age before you've been married for more than three years.

Her second is Warm Ore, which produces a strong aura of heat. This can potentially be an item to aid in your ~~murderhoboing~~ Princess rescuing, or enable princesses who are not fond of the cold like Kobold or Dragon Princess 1 to be comfortable in more frigid kingdoms (such as that of Yeti and Dragon Princess 2).

Her Lust Gift is the Gemstone Plug, which can only be removed by Knights. While the most obvious use of this is of course just as a buttplug (that could cause septicemia if you forget to take it out of a Princess before going on another adventure), there is potential for other uses. Maybe sticking it in a wine bottle and giving it as a gift to an unpleasant priest or king?

Human Princess

Because vanilla isn't a bad flavor. Human princess wants babbys, and fits into a more traditional idea for heirs. She's also quite wealthy, although you must earn that wealth by producing babbys for political marriages. She's the basic stay at home wife, does the cooking for the whole castle and family while worrying about her weight.

Her first Dowry is the Heir's Coin which will give you a substantial amount of wealth for every child you produce (it does not specify it must be with her however).

The P'Orc Bone allows you to alter the size of body parts. The uses should be obvious, but also exploitable.

Her lust gift is the Mithril Rings which function as portal devices (insert tired video game reference here) where something put in one comes out the other end, allowing for anything from instant communication from anywhere in the world allowing you to run your kingdom from abroad, fast and easy transportation of loot, and...having sex with your spouses from a distance which is all most players would use it for.

Thus, Skeleton Princess JR was born.

Insect Princess

Insect Princess is an ant-woman, although she lacks the large egg-laying abdomen one would imagine a queen to possess either due to her age or a reproductive style more befitting a biped. Despite this her abdomen is still sensitive, and "spacious". You unfortunately must compete with other males even after marriage; stepping out of the room for five minutes may require you to slaughter more suitors upon returning to your throneroom than Odysseus vanWinkle after a vacation. She's also mostly interested in sex for the result of babies rather than pleasure (although that does not mean she sees the two as mutually exclusive).

Fancanon suggests Insect Princess is in fact far more clever than Sir Knight suspects; behind the image of a small-minded giant ant woman eschewing tea for the entire sugar bowl is in fact the head of The Family, using the dimwitted but loyal Knight as the face for her shady empire ten times as large below the ground as what sits above.

The first Dowry she offers is the Pheromone Cluster, which makes the development of cells and fluids instant (allowing one to eliminate the refractory period between ejaculations, as well as other effects like healing wounds and the like).

Her second is the Shining Egg, increasing the gestation development rate of your offspring by 10 times making pregnancies much shorter. Taken for those who want a brood, or perhaps don't want to wait a decade for their Dragon or Elf Princess to give birth to their firstborn.

Her Lust Gift is the Royal Jelly, a pleasant-tasting substance that increases the hourglass features (bust, ass, thighs and hips) of the being who eats it. Eliminate your own Hank Hill features and make your lovers look like they came straight out of Wakfu!

Skeleton Princess

2Spooky/2scary is a fetish, right? The Skeleton Princess, in every incarnation, combines a very high libido with a lack of the necessary... organs to enjoy it in the traditional manner (although for some reason she seems to enjoy ANY form of stimulation, including painis in eyesocket). Good luck, mate. While her appearance is spooky, she is depicted by most artists to be shy and affectionate as well as eager to please you in any manner she can.

Her first Dowry is the Soul Dagger, which allows you to swap the appearance of any two people.

Her second is Dorian's Painting, which makes you immortal so long as either the painting is intact or as long as you do not see it due to it depicting you as you would naturally be and the sight causing you to become what is depicted. Due to different versions of the referenced story existing, different interpretations exist of this Dowry in the fan community.

Her Lust Gift is the Humming Stud, which allows both partners to feel the same sensations; no more emo staring at the teacake for her, and if a rescue goes bad you can always go for some numbness from her! Also, sex. Obviously. Works for other partners as well, in case you ever wanted to know what having a Breath Weapon or being made of slime felt like.

She gets along with Slime and Dragon at least.
"That face you make as you get bone-burn is so cute."
Ah, tibea'ung again.

Slime Princess

More talkative than one would expect given that early on in Towergirls history an anon made a Tumblr blog for her, some fancanon indicates that she was apparently once human and the skeleton inside her is her own. Fancanon is she's also a bit of a bully to your other wives, thanks to the manner that the Anon who sculpted figures of the Towergirls (called "Bupi" or "Bupiti" on Tumblr) posed her in group pictures. The eye-patch looking thing in Slime Princess is actually her core which in scientific terms contains all of the specialized structures within her, or for a more magical interpretation her soul.

Her first Dowry, the Life Pearl, will let you give objects sentience; while not exactly exploitable sexually, this item has quite a bit of potential for meta-thinking and combination with other Dowries such as Mermaid's Trident.

The second, Supple Moss, allows the user to stretch their body safely past it's normal limits. This would allow smaller Princesses to lay with larger Knights, although it can also let you take on a life of fighting crime as Pretzelknight-man!

Her Lust Gift is the Vibrating Goo, which "never stops moving". Use your imagination here (like an unlimited power source, or...stick it up an orifice. Yeah, that works).

Slime, no.
Bad slime.
Very bad slime.

Mermaid Princess

A kinky, bubbly mermaid who has a scale-free bubblebutt and lists her turn-ons as choking (talk about playing with...air?) and hotdogging. Pretty much useless outside of water in her natural state, but her Dowries each compensate for one of her two weaknesses.

The Glass Conch Dowry allows you to create bubbles of water for her so breath, or for any other purpose you can think of like surviving a trek through the desert or putting yourself out if Dragon Princess 1 sneezes.

Her second, the Humble Trident, will give her or any other princess (or person in general) a human form. This can be an easy fix to Princesses normally not sexually compatible ("Who's laughing now, Dragon Princess!? ...you're supposed to stop laughing, dammit!").

Her Max Lust item is the Moist Cloth, which can be rubbed on someone to make them "wet". Whether this is magical or simply because she handed you a wet towel and you thought it was special is open to interpretation.

Knight Princess

Your horse, or hers? No seriously, take hers. One of the other princesses probably ate yours.

With the original Towergirls lineup where only one princess is chosen, taking Knight Princess resulted in going on a crusade and eventually dying in battle without a permanent home. That is no longer a thing, and instead she simply comes with a loyal band (who will not put up with your cheap shit if you aren't everything Knight Princess wants and more). She herself is very loyal, and a very skilled warrior. She's also got a small chest which she is self-conscious about apparently.

Her first Dowry is her Grandfather's Sword, which guarantees victory over evil. No, you aren't allowed start calling chastity evil.

Her second is the Knights Crest, which commands the loyalty of any other Knight you have beaten in battle and spared. Suddenly, Towergirls goes from waifu-simulator into a teamkilling game...

Her Lust Gift is the Lover's Handkerchief, which makes both lovers FAR more aroused the longer apart they are. This can be combined with Human Princess's portal rings to great effect, if that's your thing.

Sometimes it's nice to be the one being rescued for a change.
Meanwhile, your guards are prepared to repel what sounded like the clanking armor of a thousand knights charging the castle walls.

Harpy Princess

Shiny-stuff loving Harpy who is a cute motherly (and lonely, emotionally vulnurable) type who is capable of carrying her Knight for aerial sexing. However, the risk of her getting distracted by her magpie-like disposition and dropping him mid/post-coitus is listed as one of her drawbacks. She is extremely protective, and may in fact make it safe for you to leave your harem alone to go rescue princesses. She actually enjoys laying eggs, although she's also turned off by messy sex.

Harpy Princess's first Dowry is the Golden Feather, which grants you the ability to fly (it's unspecified if by wings or Superman-style magnetic howdoesitwork).

Her second is the Phoenix Ashes, which upon your death will bring you back to life as a Harpy (jury is out on if you retain your gender and become a bird-person, or are now for sure a female).

Her Max Lust Gift is the Swan's Down, which allows you to lower the age of anyone it is used on. It's possible you can become eternally youthful while still getting a tan this way, although that is only interpretation.

Boy Princess

Because we want Pixiv interested too! Boy Princess is, as you would have guessed, a small ladyboy in a dress. Not even a Prince technically, he is simply the "Princess" of a large number of peasants who consider him royalty (whether as pop-culture royalty or as a literal royal remains to be seen). He will not maintain his youthful feminine appearance as he ages, thus those interested in him for a...particular fetish may want to consider an age-affecting Dowry from another Princess. Those picking him gain rulership of a very large population of poorly trained but profitable farmers. Boy Princess is into "Poor Little Farm Princess" style sex, including large insertion and bukkake and hates being in a dominant role. For those not interested in him for actual sex with him, it's possible to allow others to take part instead of yourself. Note that it's not stated he is gay (or is any Princess given sexual orientation), making Boy Princess the most important Princess for his Max Lust item.

His first Dowry is the Plentiful Horn, a cornucopia which somehow affects the aging of living things. This is entirely open to interpretation on it's use and effects.

His second is the Haystack's Needle, which makes non-combatants into trained soldiers (making this "princess" one to consider for more than just...that fetish).

The Max Lust gift is the Rooster Bell, which swaps the sex of a chosen being. Useful for straight male Knights who want his Dowries or to sex one of the Gen 3 companions who is not in their interest range, and for straight female Knights is mandatory.

Orc Princess

Rough, rowdy, big-butted she-Orc who considers Sir Knight "her property." She has the heart of a conqueror, and earned her title not by being the daughter of some Orc king but instead by removing the head of anyone who challenged the title and made it watch from a pole as her horde of followers and worshipers pillaged and destroyed the defiant fool's people. By marrying her, you have simply decided that you are making yourself her property rather than any traditional oath of equality and sharing. While there may be a route to get her to see you as her king rather than her servant and champion, it's a rough one that entails being her equal in battle as well as proving an equal competence in pleasuring her. That does not mean however that you can simple get on top and make her your property with a large penis; you must actually prove competent to her. Despite this she is more interested in smaller lovers than larger ones, possibly because it's more impressive when they can do as she desires, and she's not fond of tusk-touching. Seriously, don't ask if you can touch them. It's awkward.

She also has no interest in monetary pursuit or possession, instead seeing HER (your) kingdom in terms of land controlled, amount of submissive and useful underlings, and useful things like animals and armaments of war.

Her first Dowry is Primordial Dust, which will give you the strength you need to be by her side in both in battle and bed.

The second is the War Manual, which makes every fight give loot! The munchkin's dream...

Her Max Lust gift is the Grunting Totem, an object that passively makes everyone around it aroused. Perfect for the victory orgy!

Dwarf Princess I & II

A pair of Dwarf women, the bearded one (Dwarf Princess II) is the oldest child and only daughter of an ancient Dwarf King who had hundreds of children, while the beardless one (I) is the youngest daughter of a similar King from another part of the world. Both are industrious creatures fond of drink (so don't even TRY and outdrink them) who are quick to violence if they do manage to reach intoxication, and find shaving anything to be abhorrent (and thus have a likely similar fetish with Drider Princess for hairy men). II has a beard more impressive than any Dwarf, while I is short even for a race of short stature. Both are very self-conscious when stripped of clothes and like rough drunk sex.

I's first Dowry is Fungus Vodka, which makes the imbiber serene and also think everything around them is much larger than it is (so, basically a way to assure sex that won't result in you having two black eyes and internal bleeding).

I's second Dowry is Dire Brandy, which gives you the ability to see through clothes. Not exactly the most useful thing unless you're a voyeur.

I's Lust Gift is the Golem's Belt, which makes the submissive partner in a relationship unable to remove themselves from the dom's genitals making the dominant partner in complete control. Whatever you do, do NOT let Orc Princess get ahold of it.

II's first Dowry is the Sleek Collar which makes the wearer become VERY masculine.

II's second Dowry is the Slick-Cologne, which makes the wearer become VERY intelligent. These two together may seem great, so long as a Knight can keep their pride under control.

II's Lust Gift is the Sly Comb, which has the power to make everyone aroused. Somehow. Mustaches must be magic when you marry a Dwarf...

Amazon Princess

Not just a wild woman but actually a giant (not quite 80 feet tall though). She will hug you, and squeeze you, and love you, and call you George! She is specifically as large and powerful as a Dragon, and with the unspecified sliding scale of sizes this could mean somewhere between 7 feet and 20 feet tall (raising the question of how the fuck did she get captured in the first place?!). A bit further in the scale of domination than Orc Princess, Amazon Princess will use your body as she desires without any input from you until she is satisfied. She is extremely jealous and is not willing to share you with anyone else, and will simply place you within her cleavage to travel (or get you away from grabby Princesses). This possessiveness has changed from incarnation to incarnation, however in general she simply will attempt to use her strength and size to ensure you only belong to her and is willing to fight anyone and anything to get her way. She's also got hips for miles...almost literally.

Her first Dowry is the Lion's Pelt, which makes you impossible to track.

The second is the Ivory Sweat, which will make you her equal in size and might.

Her Max Lust item, the Beastkin's Mantle, will allow you to shapeshift into any Dire animal.

Ghost Princess

You mean Skeleton Princess can get nakeder?

Golem Princess

She's your little ימאָרטאַל שיינע.

Golem Princess is most likely (unless you become immortal) doomed to a Bad End herself as she will remain by your side, even as you rot in your grave and the last stars of the universe fade. So watch your health, okay?

She's got a thing for shiny metal asses. Luckily you have one too.
WORST END!

Succubus Princess

Desert dwelling demoness. If you pick her, you're her bottom bitch and just one of her harem of fucktoys. Fortunately, her route no longer typically costs your soul to end up toppin'.

Goblin Princess

Originally a lusty green breeding-obsessed slut, and one of the few princesses who actively encourages you to fuck other women, so long as you knock them up. Later mostly-retconned into a fairly normal girl who wants a fairly normal relationship, who just so happens to live in a kingdom with the above mentality.

Generally has the "harem item" you need to start sexin' up lots of ladies at once.

Drider Princess

A sweet and gentle drider girl who everybody gets scared of because she's half spider. Early versions made her rather dangerous to the other princesses, but this is mostly gone. Good luck with that spider-gina though.

Mimic Princess

Wait, when did we get two Human Princesses?

Mimic was originally a "comedic Bad End" choice which became a legitimate princess later as people became interested. Canon from Gats is that Mimic Princess is three Mimics, one being her "hair", one being her "body", and the final is her "dress" which functions as a traditional Mimic and will eat an hasty and lustful knight while also functioning as her first dowry item (that is to say, Mimic Princess has an infinite amount of space within her dress to store objects), and otherwise it's totally open to interpretation. Popular fan canon is that the three Mimics that Mimic Princess is made of share a hivemind granting her sapience, making the Mimic "kingdom" of Mimics drawn to her influenced by her mental state and that with the increased intelligence came advanced self-shaping meaning the normally asexual aberration Mimics are indeed female. Furthermore she is willing to learn, making part of Sir Knight's building of the lust meter simply civilizing her.

"Okay, let's pretend the duke and his wife are coming over. What do we do?"

"EATGUESTS!"

"No! No no no, we..."

"...talk guests. 'Such fine day, that was nice opera, have some cake.'"

"Right! Then-"

"EATCAKE!"

"...yes. Very good, then we eat cake."

Further fancanon says that an evil Knight ends up with a realm mostly made up of Mimics, his kingdom becoming a hellish landscape of eyes and mouths on every surface while a good Knight teaching Mimic to be a proper lady results in the people finding their lives easier as bins consume waste, chairs pull themselves out, and mirrors make pleasant smalltalk.

Wait, that's not what went i-fuck it, who cares.
I think this is legit.

Dragon Princess

The ever popular, ever drooling Dragon Princess. Interestingly, nobody seems to ever take the dowry that makes them a dragon too...

Dragon Princess 1 has a massive appetite, and apparently is very willing to eat her hoard if famished enough. Some Anons interpret this as a vore-risk if you cannot keep her satisfied with more gold, livestock, maybe a peasant or two. Others who don't find eating to be a theme of their Magical Realm simply make her an adorable glutton that wants maor.

A particular anon figured out a combination of Dowries and bonuses to give Sir Knight an unending amount of coins as ejaculate, theoretically keeping DP1 pleased forever. This later earned a fapfic.

Dragon Princess 1 comes in as the most popular princess for artists.

Little known fact; there was a dinosaur thought to lactate. Not that artists need an excuse.
Dragon, no.
Now with her own template!
For your 360° creativity.
Yes, it is possible.
Not that getting creative is a bad thing though.
Don't worry, she can't get any further. Dragon filled up on your peasants and livestock beforehand.
That's our Ace!

Generation II

Dawn Elf Princess

Assassin Princess

Nomad Princess

May or may not be a relative of Crazy Hassan.

Pirate Princess

Ogre Princess

Zombie Princess

Plant Princess

Witch Princess

Fairy Princess

Centaur Princess

Gorgon Princess

Frog Princess

Sadly, does not sing 1930's style jazz music.

Angel Princess

She'll catch you if you fall.

Monkey Princess

Cat Princess

Arcane Princess

Armor Princess

Crest Princess

Merchant Princess

Dragon Princess II

Unlike her sisters, Dragon Princess II is totally independent of your shit. She's smarter than you or anyone else you will ever meet will ever be, and you were confused even before you asked what she was working on. Good thing she thinks you're cute and worth her attention.

With lots of dedication and hard work, Dragon Princess II could probably raise Ace's INT to the point he can have an alignment.

Generation III

Holstaur Princess (Milk Maidens)

One of the more contentious additions to the chart by most monstergirls fans, since she's not just a busty milky-making cowgirl, she's also a dickgirl. With implications she expects you to milk her of "cream" as well as milk. Admittedly, she comes with a treasure that lets you change her to pure female (or yourself into a dickgirl), but still. Her attendants can make other princesses grow bigger breasts so they start lactating too, but they can potentially turn Ace into a minotaur.

Mouse Princess (The Hourly Sisters)

Rabbit Princess (The Bunny Colony)

Assumed to say "ara ara~" a lot.

Dusk Elf Princess (Bodyguard Orc Trio)

Vampire Princess (The Bad Brides)

Dog Princess (Dog Princess)

Something had to be done!

Djinn Princess (Ifrit Catamite)

Triclops Princess (The Princess's Herd)

Raider Princess (The Draught Wolf)

Eldritch Princess (The Pleasant Cultists)

Lamia Princess (The King of Shrouds)

Imp Princess (The Devilish Do-Gooders)

Moth Princess (The Twin Wisps)

Sphinx Princess (Jackal Tactician)

Yeti Princess (The Straw Ro-Lang)

Sword Princess (The Shield Maiden)

Jester Princess (The Puppet Princesses)

Faun Princess (Lyrical Nymph Band)

Crystal Princess (Supportive Geode Dad)

Dragon Princess III (False Knight Companion)

Dragon Princess III is very lonely; her only companion is her imaginary friend, although oddly enough she does seem to have an identical bag of chocolate penises to your own.

Dragon Princess III has deadly poison gas as her breath weapon, and has a naturally difficult time controlling it. Unlike Dragon Princess I who simply wants more gold/food and Dragon Princess II who is perfectly happy reading something from her seemingly unending supply of scrolls and tomes, Dragon Princess III is VERY emotionally dependent.

Surviving her breath long enough to get the max-bonus item that cures it is easier if you go for the lamia princess and get the boon that makes you immune to reptile-style poisons.

Paladin General

Barbarian General

Incubus General

Border General

Jadeite Beast

Lazulite Beast

Sinhalite Beast

Citrine Beast

Physicker Master

Wizard Master

Huntress Master

Funk Master

Noble Courtier

Squire Courtier

The Squire is a child of indiscernible age and gender who lives and breaths for just a pat on the head and a word of approval from you for a job well done. However, Squire is, while not bumbling, not exactly competent. Squire has only a passing knowledge of the proper names of most things causing the wrong item to be brought when asked for (such as a gladius instead of a broadsword), and in a fight is very much a novice. Despite this Squire does have a bit of luck (maybe the backing of a wizard, who knows how they go about things) and manages to accomplish difficult things even if somehow still screwing something up. Squire hopes to one day be just like you (and for all you know really is you in the past, fucking wizards and their time loop bullshit). Squire gives blowjobs but just wants a pat on the head. But so long as you aren't yelling at him/her, he/she is happy to bask in your noble presence.

Squire brings along a group of androgynous footmen to (wo?)man whatever you tell them to.

Friar Courtier

Monk Courtier

Generation III Rewards

Something of an "achievements" page, by your selections in princesses you are eligible for bonuses. Many are just clothes (again, vidya-style achievements) but some are extra powers, even additional princesses!

Loyal Knight

Earned by staying true to a single Princess and only rescuing her. Gain new armor befitting your status, a cloak your new queen knitted for you, and being the only one with this amazing title.

White Knight

A chaste knight, regardless of rescued princesses.

Dullahan Princess

By taking the Heart Band and Mind's Key, the lust items earned by pleasuring both Armor and Crest Princesses, you can merge their head and body back together as an extremely powerful undead Knight Princess.

Primeval Princess

By combining Dullahan Princess with Arcane Princess and Sword Princess, this ultimate princess is formed.

Dragon Queen

The mother of the three Dragon Princesses, Dragon Queen is supreme ruler of the Grand Tower Kingdom and will visit your kingdom if you marry all of her daughters.

Smuhg

By doing nothing and saving no princesses at all, you can become the Chaos God of Laziness. Nobody likes you if you do this.

Tower Princess

By traveling through time to obtain every princess, dowry, idol, and companion your kingdom (which is fucking massive) becomes a living princess made of towers.

Way to break the game there, Sir Knight.

Mystery Box

Trade in any and all bonuses for a random shot at a bonus, including princesses not found on the chart!

Other Princesses

The followibg are fan creations, and not part of the core game.

Wyvern Princess

Totally different from Dragon Princess, anyone who tells you otherwise is a fucking moron. Never forget that.

Bobbit Worm Princess

[Entry Not Found]

Kitchen Princess

A spin-off to the Kobold Princess above, done apparently in response to some anon who liked fat/stuffing pics. She is basically a big-bellied brown Kobold wearing a busted pot as a crown. Kitchen Princess's stats are almost identical to her Kobold Princess counterpart, aside from the fact she has maxed Love and no Wealth.