Kaurava System

This article is a stub. You can help 1d4chan by expanding it

The Kaurava System AKA the Cow of a System, or the Car of a System (according to some YouTube subtitles), was the star system in which the complete fuck-fest known as Dawn of War: Soulstorm took place.

History

Prior to the events in Soulstorm, the system had been relatively peaceful by normal standards, with only one planet infested with extremely warlike genetically-engineered fungi able to grow bigger and stronger the more they fight and another with sleeping ancient murdering robots that destroy the laws of physics with their tech and don't die even if they are nuked. However, this all changed upon the SUDDEN APPEARANCE OF A WARP STORM AT THE KAURAVA SYSTEM'S OUTER EDGE. In fact, the appearance was so sudden that over half the Imperial Forces had been wiped out by the forces of Chaos (who had somehow appeared at the exact same time), before Vance Motherfucking Stubbs could even say 'fuck'. By this point commander Indrick Boreale had decided to show up with bunch of his Blood Raven SPESS MEHREENS in METAL BAWKSES to help eradicate both the Ork and Chaos forces present in the system.

Unbeknownst to Boreale, the Tau empire also had a similar idea, and decided to set up shop directly above his head on a small moon orbiting Kaurava II. Their plan was to somehow contain the Warp Storm while expanding their territory's border right into Indrick Boreale's face. Around this time the crons on Kaurava III decided that now might be a good time to wake up and start their malicious genocidal campaign against anything unfortunate enough to still be alive. However, Farseer Caerys had already foreseen this, and inevitably showed up with her fellow space elves by travelling through some random Webway Gate that just happened to be lying around. MEANWHILE, a bunch of evil space elves had started arriving through some other random Webway Gate located on a moon above the totally-fucking-Chaos-infested-evil-planet known as Kaurava IV. Lastly, the party crashers Sisters of Battle turned up. Lead by Canoness Selena Agna, they had come in a futile attempt to cleanse the system before shit got really fucked up. However, because they had taken so long to get their own shit together the system was already pretty fucked by the time they got there.