Tom Bombadil

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TOM-BOM BOMBADIL, TOM BOMBADILO!

That's right, motherfuckers. Tom Bombadil is here, and he gives zero fucks. Tom is master, bitches.

They have a cave troll? Tom don't give two shits, that ugly bastard ain't coming anywhere near him!

A Nazgul? All fucking Nine Nazgul? On fell beasts? Tom gives not a hapenny jizz!

The Balrog? Saruman? Fuck it, Sauron too? Doesn't matter, he'll take them all! AT THE SAME TIME! He won't even hurt them either, he'll leave them to live forever in the shame!

TOM IS MASTER, AND HE WILL END YOU.

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