Arseplomancer

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Revision as of 04:13, 19 December 2014 by 1d4chan>Nathan the Mouse
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Dungeons and Dragons 3.X has some pretty crazy builds, (the most infamous of all, is of course, Pun-Pun). While not as infamous as Pun-Pun, this build does have some infamy to call its own, and rightly so. The way this build is used is to have the character to use the escape artist skill in a spectacular fashion (e.i. crawl into a victim's digestive track via his/her anus), resulting in not only the victim exploding, but onlookers become fanatical followers at the wondrous display. I almost wish we were joking.

The Build

The exact particulars of the build are not set in stone, but here are the core requirements:

  • 5 levels in the prestige class Exemplar (Exemplar is a prestige class in complete adventurer)
  • Skill Mastery (escape artist). (This is done with the exemplar prestige class)
  • Skill Artistry (escape artist). (This is done with the exemplar prestige class)
  • A somewhat generous interpretation of Exemplar's level 5 class feature, Persuasive Performance, assuming you want to use the follower portion.
  • A way to grow (e.g. the spell Righteous Might, the psionic power Expansion, or any magic item charged with a use of Enlarge Person)
  • A way to get your escape artist skill bonus really high. Probably through different stackable boosts (feats, skill ranks, magic items, class abilities etc.)

The Set Up

  • A victim
  • People within 30 feet willing to watch.

How it works

According to the epic level handbook an escape artist check of DC 80 is:

"the DC for getting through a space when one’s head shouldn’t even be able to fit; this can be as small as 2 inches square for Medium-size creatures. Halve this limit for each size category less than Medium-size; double it for each size category greater than Medium-size. If the space is long, such as in a chimney, multiple checks may be called for."

This makes you like that killer guy from X-files.

The arseplomancer uses this DC to to crawl up the victim's anus. The Skill Master (escape artist) allows the arseplomancer to take 10 on this skill check. The Persuasive Performance allows the arseplomancer to also make this escape artist check act as a diplomacy check for improving attitudes as long as the onlookers are within 30 ft. A sufficiently high diplomacy check is able to turn onlookers into fanatics, the difficulty varies depending on the starting attitude. Thus the onlookers become fanatics. Once the arseplomancer is inside the victim he can use his way to grow in order to grow, exploding the victim. In order for this to work, the arseplomancer needs to pass a DC to burst through the victim. To determine if you are successful, you require to perform a Strength check. The DC is calculated by reducing the damage by the Hardness of the material (in the case of leather this is 2) and if any damage remains, deducted it from the object's hit points (5/inch of thickness in the case of leather). Because flesh is weaker than leather, the DC for the flesh would be lower than that.

Ways to improve your bonus to escape artist checks

  • High dex is good
  • Dumping EVERY SINGLE POINT(you can) INTO IT (obviously).
  • The Exemplar prestige class also gives a lot of skill bonuses.
  • Perhaps some levels in Rogue.
  • Vest of Escape.
  • Feats
    • Agile
    • Skill Focus (escape artist)
  • Magic items that boost it and/or enhance other boosts on it.
  • The Shadow Form spell, which not only enhances Escape Artist checks but makes any attempt to leap into a man's innards from the outside even easier.

Ways to add to the Fun

  • The complete adventurer says you can cut the time of an escape artist attempt in half at the cost of increasing the DC by 10

No Fun Allowed

this can be as small as 2 inches square for Medium-size creatures</quote>

Most anuses don't have anything close to that much surface area. Come back with a Small or Tiny character and try again.

Outside Links

See Alsos

Anal Circumference

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