Beasts of Chaos

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Revision as of 08:34, 14 November 2011 by 1d4chan>Land Terrestrial
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If the chaos faction would be a clique of high school children, the beasts of chaos would be the annoying wannabe that really wants to join. You know, the one that always asks, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING? CAN I COME?" and tries to sit at your table during lunch break. No matter how much the others try to subtly give him signs to go away. If the group takes pity on him, they might allow him to tag along for a while, but he will never be fully accepted. He also probably gets picked of at school. Formerly part of the now discontinued Hordes of Chaos, along with the Warriors of Chaos and Daemons, the beasts of chaos are probably the most insignificant army in the canon. Their greatest claim to fame is the failed siege of a castle two thousand years ago. They are more of a nuisance than a real threat, but then what do you expect from a small band of unruly naked natives with stone-tipped spears going up against an orderly army with guns, cannons and knights or a group of batshit insane Norsemen who get their armour straight from the Dark Gods themselves? They even tied their first battle in the White Dwarf magazine. Which is just pathetic.

They are pretty damn sweet to paint though, and really good at ambushing. These guys would be able to hide an entire army behind a tree.

The special character with the best fluff right now would be jolly old Khazrak The One-Eye. A cheery bugger whose hobbies include raising wardogs and annoying the shit out of the count of Middenland.

There is some controversy over whether Skaven are a kind of beastmen or an entirely different race.

Their army also includes centigors, a cross between goatman and horse. They are really fucking clumsy and emo and spend most of the time either lamenting their clumsiness (they can't write soppy poetry on myspace about it, though, because they can't use the keyboard), punch-drunk, fighting or a combination of the three.

It should be noted that, despite their numerous failings, they have a pretty special way of forging weapons and armour. You see, Beastmen are too stupid to figure out that metal is easier to work when it's hot, so when a Beastman wants to wear some too-small armour they looted off the corpse of some unlucky human, they punch it. They then continue to punch it until it fits.

This is a thing that happens. It's in the army book.

Fact: Slaaneshi Beastmen=Furries. ALSO, someone should organize this page. It's embarrassing.