Codex - Angry Custodes
VeryIntelligentShadeOfTheColourBlue: Good morning/midday/afternoon to everyone, and this is the page the codex page for the Angry Custodes. Now before anyone points this out, yes this is based/inspired heavily/mostly by the work of How Is The Doc and his Angry Marines codex for 8th edition, and by the whole idea of the Angry Marines created/regurgitated by /tg/.
All the rules on this page are the result of some mathshammering in my notebooks, and are therefore likely to be under powered/overpowered/unplayable/HERESY, and any lore I may add for these models/the Angry Custodes as a whole is also likely to be equally under cooked. Any feedback, as such, would be appreciated. I'm also only just learning how to edit wiki pages so my formatting may be a little shit.
Angry Custodes Rules
General Rules
- FUCK YOU AND YOUR COMMAND POINTS!!!:
Those minds which were present during the Great Fuckening give zero shits about what others say, especially the pansy Ultramarine concept of re-rolls, as Angry Custodes never have need of such things. A model/unit with this rule cannot receive any modifiers to dice rolls, leadership, re-rolls, move distances etc (from friendly or enemy sources). They can however, be denied invulnerability saves etc. They also cannot be targeted by stratagems, unless it is indirectly or generally (units in area x receive a mortal wound etc).
- ECHO IN THE FUCKING WARP COCKSUCKER!!!:
Every sentient creature in the galaxy can feel the echo of the Great Fuckening oozing off an Angry Custodian, and an Adeptus Custodian was scary enough before he was chasing you across a field with a volcano cannon to undertake some laser surgery on your ballsack. In groups, Angry Custodes can combine this psychic rage, by violently arguing with each other until they agree that they "SHOULD FUCK THAT DIPSHIT OVER THERE!!!". Although Angry Custodes are very good at fucking people up with their combined thoughts and abuse, if they do happen to miss their intended target then that will argue amounts each other even more violently and loudly than before, often dealing more damage to each other than the poor sod they were shooting at.
All other models within 12 inches subtract 1 from their leadership and psychic tests (friend and foe). At the beginning of your turn, you may deactivate this ability until the start of your next turn, but must then shoot with the following profile:
| Name | MINDDAKKA!!! |
| Type | Pistol X/2 |
| Range | 2X |
| S | X+2 |
| Ap | X/2 |
| D | 3 |
| Abilities | Hits on a 2+, failed hits cause 2 mortal wounds to the firing unit. X= number of models in the firing unit, rounding down any fractions. |
Only one model in the unit may shoot using this profile, and all other models in that models unit may not shoot their weapons while this effect is active. If this profile cannot hit an enemy unit, it hits a friendly unit instead, if it can't hit a friendly unit, then it hits the firers own unit.
- Ka FUUUUUUU!:
When a model with this rule is slain, it deal 1 mortal wound to the model which killed it, 1 mortal wound to the models unit, and 1 mortal wound to the slain models unit. If this ability would slay another model with this rule, then all units within 3 inches take 2 mortal wounds. If this effect would cause another model with this rule to be slain and for further activations, use the profile:
| Name | Ka FUUUUUUU! |
| Type | N/A |
| Range | 3X |
| S | N/A |
| Ap | N/A |
| D | X |
| Abilities | Damages all units in range and inflicts auto hitting mortal wounds. X=Number of the effect in the sequence eg. Second explosion would equal 2. |
- COCKSHOT YOU FUCKING CUNT!:
One hit (in the fight or shooting phase) caused by a model with this rule is a "COCKSHOT", and inflicts a mortal wound instead of resolving normal damage.
- JUST FUCKING HIT THE BASTARDS!:
A model with this rule may only target the closest enemy unit (or friendly unit where applicable). If a model with this rule could advance to get into shooting range of an enemy unit in the movement phase, it must do so, but it's weapons become assault x (pistol 2 becomes assault 2) until the next turn. Also, if a model with this rule could get within 7 inches of an enemy model, it must do so, but not only does it gain the above benefit, it may then also charge that enemy unit as if it hasn't advanced, but must charge that unit.
- Charge of the FUCK YOU brigade:
Models with this rule add 4 to the movement distance when advancing instead of rolling a d6. They also have a flat charge distance of 8 inches instead of rolling 2d6.
- Scary as fuck but impossible to miss:
A unit targeting a model/unit with this rule as part of overwatch adds 1 to their hit rolls, but rolls 2d3 instead of a 1d6 when determining morale casualties.
- COVER CAMPING BASTARDS!:
Models with this rule cannot gain bonuses from cover, but may charge through it as if it wasn't there.
- WHO'S THIS KHARN CUNT ANYWAY?!:
Every missed roll made by a model with this rule (except by mind dakka) on a 4+ on a d6 is treated as a "COCKSHOT" to the nearest model in that models unit. If there are no other models in that models in that models unit remaining then that attack is assigned to the nearest model (friend or foe).
- EMPRAH PROTECT!:
Models with this rule have a 5+ invulnerability save, unless otherwise stated (eg a 3+ with a storm shield). This models invulnerability save may also be used to block mortal wounds (except those caused by MIND DAKKA!!! and perils in the warp).
Angry Custodes Units
HQ
The Mind Fucked
| Name | Mind Fucker Psyker |
| Movement | 6" |
| Ws | 3+ |
| Bs | 3+ |
| S | 3 |
| T | 3 |
| W | 5 |
| A | 3 |
| Ld | 8 |
| Sv | 3+ |
| Pts |
This unit consists of one Mind Fucked Psyker.
- EMPRAH PROTECT!
- Mortal is a relative term:
Mind Fucked Psykers don't entirely fulfill the definition of mortal, advantages of having your souls bound to the largest source of RAEG outside the areas of the immaterium owned by khorne (BLAM!! HERESEY!!!). A model with this rule does not take damage from mortal wounds (except from perils in the warp and Please don't hurt me...), this includes mortal wounds from "It's for your own good/BLAM!!!".
- Wait NOOOOOOOOGLARBABLAHBALHABHHBLBL...:
The downside of being bound to the Angry Custodes (apart from the nightmares, the beatings, the insults, the screaming...) is that when a Mind Fucked Psyker dies, their body receives the unadulterated disapproval/abuse/RAEG of psychic mass they were bound to, with messy results. When this model is slain/dies from perils in the warp, it deals d3 mortal wounds to all units within 12". You may then set up a chaos spawn model in its case (this model costs points in matches play).
- Please don't hurt me...:
A mind Fucked Psyker is only a figure head general for an Angry Custodes army, and such are looked down on and beaten by Angry Custodes and Sisters of RAEG. This abuse can also be seen as character building, as the psykers of the Angey Custodes always perform better after a smack round the back of the head.
A model with this rule, when within 6" of an INFANTRY unit with the ANGRY CUSTODES keyword and 7 or more models, receives a mortal wound at the start of your turn. However, in the psychic phase, this model must add 3 to its manifestation and deny tests.
This model is a psyker, it knows smite and one power from the Great Fuuuuuuu... discipline, and can attempt to cast one power in your psychic phase, and deny two in your enemies psychic phase.
| Name | Cost | Description |
| Alight it's MY FUCKING TURN!!! | 9 | The psyker channels the power of The Great Fuckening to become an embodiment of its RAEG. |
| Healing RAEG!!! | 8 | Angry Custodes find the powers which birthed their new existence fathering soothing, in the same way that orks consider blasted wastelands home or |
| THE middle finger | 11/12 | The psyker manifests the holy approval of the god/man emperor of mankind, the sanctified middle finger, and shoves it up his targets arse that the glowing light of the fingertip glows out of the targets mouth. If manifested |
Troops
Angry Custodes Squad
| Name | Angry Custodian | Head Arse Kicker |
| Movement | 6" | 6" |
| Ws | 2+ | 2+ |
| Bs | 3+ | 2+ |
| S | 6 | 6 |
| T | 5 | 5 |
| W | 3 | 3 |
| A | 4 | 5 |
| Ld | 8 | 9 |
| Sv | 2+ | 2+ |
| Pts | 60 | 60 |
This unit consists of at least 1 Head Arse Kicker and 4 Angry Custodians. You may add up to 5 more Angry Custodians.
Sisters of RAEG squad
| Name | Sister of RAGE | Sister superior (AND YOU'D BETTER REMEMBER THAT BITCHES!!!) |
| Movement | 6" | |
| Ws | 3+ | |
| Bs | 3+ | |
| S | 3 | |
| T | 3 | |
| W | 4 | |
| A | 3 | |
| Ld | 8 | |
| Sv | 3+ | |
| Pts |
Lords of war
Knights Apoplectic
Angry Titans