Dark Eldar
"Think occasionally of the suffering of which you spare yourself the sight." - Albert Schweitzer
The Dark Eldar are the villainous counterparts of the Eldar, who followed the horrific depravity that saw the Eldar Empire destroyed. Hailing from Port Commorragh in the Webway, the Dark Eldar spirit out from the shadows to take slaves to commit unspeakable atrocities on whoever they capture.
In short, they're the most evil race in Warhammer 40,000, which is a hell of an accomplishment. Their lives revolve around sadistic torture, making them a sort of cross between the cenobites from hellraiser and the reavers from fireflly. They are mainly pirates, though are sometimes used as mercenaries.
History
Karolis ciulpe uz banana ir tapo anti-bananas , ir jis nuo to banano prisitriede i kelnes , nusimoves kelnes karolis jas numete ant krumo , ir pabego , tada atejo arkonas ir sako o kokios madingos kelnes,ir jis jas uzsidejo ant galvos . po valandos jam kilo ideja ikurti dark eldaru imperia, taip jis su aptriesta galva vaiksciojo
COMMORRAGH WELCOMES CAREFUL DRIVERS
The Dark Eldar live in the Dark City of Commorragh, basically an impossibly large extradimensional port city fueled by two stolen suns (and they made sure to steal suns from inhabited planetary systems, because fuck those guys). Think of a sprawling cross between 17th century Shanghai/Singapore/Port Royal with Mos Eisley space port , a wretched hive of scum and villainy with a drug/torture/rape-based economy (Detroit) and the warped architecture of Inception. So watch out, Utica! Commorragh is a city on the... Grow!
If you can survive the inhabitants of the Dark City there is only one problem. Being in the Webway, every now and then the Dark City will suffer something called a Dysjunction; the Webway/Warp equivalent of a natural disaster which is a more powerful combination of earthquake/firestorm/hurricane that can spread across large parts of the Webway and really wreck Commorragh. In addition, it damages the walls of the Webway, which can allow daemons to invade all across Commmorragh. Fortunately, this is rare and only happens during huge bouts of Warp-related turmoil, hence why Dark Eldar are so serious with enforcing the ban of sorcery and psychic power usage inside the Commorragh.
It's only been invaded once by Orks (that time with daemons, apart from Dysjunctions, they were summoned into Commorragh) and the only time it was in serious danger was when Vect, plotting a coup against the ruling Archons, arranged for a ship filled with a few hundred Space Marines (In a shocking change from the norm, the Salamanders, for once; Matt Ward is rumored to have had the vapors from this, though the Salamanders are frequently depicted as having a huge grudge against the Dark Eldar due to Vulkan's origin story) to be towed to the Dark City. Of course, most of Commorragh's armed forces fought the Space Marines, who managed to escape despite heavy losses.
Five-hundred combat equipped Space Marines in a close defensive formation were barely able to hold back the Dark Eldar long enough for reinforcements from other chapters to arrive (Vect deliberately left the webway portal open to allow this). Bolstered with these reinforcements, they held out long enough to free the initially-captured ship and escape, and lost well over half their number doing so. All the while, the Dark Eldar counterattack was impeded by Vect's battlefield assassinations of important Kabal leaders and stalling of reinforcements from the rest of the Houses until the people he wanted dead were dead for long enough to remain dead (notably, Lelith Hesperax led the charge on one of these assassinations, demonstrating just how old she is). Does being manipulated into a frantic and losing fight for survival to further the political goals of a Dark Eldar sound like the hallmark of Matt 'Khornate Knights' Ward? Nope. Salamanders are awesome, Asdrubael Vect is awesome, Phil Kelly is awesome, this codex fucking rules.
Special Characters
At least the Dark Eldar actually have playable special characters now: HAHA - not anymore! As of the 7th ed codex, the Deldar lost a good half of their special characters.
RIP
- Asdrubael Vect, the Pimp Master General of Commorragh who's now a manipulator on par with Eldrad and, impossibly, an even bigger dick. Why Games Workshop saw fit to remove Vect from the latest Codex is a mystery as he had a model (based on the out-of-production plastic raider kit) but given the latest trend of shifting some characters off into the Lord of War section, Vect on the Dais of Destruction would've been a nice fit, especially considering that Santa Claws based monstrosity we were given in the Space Wolves codex. He is still all over the fluff though, and has turned into some monolithic puppet master who has so much Just as Planned that fighting him would probably be the same as fighting Tzeentch, except without the magic power.
- Lady Malys, an anime villainess and Vect's pissed-off ex. She won someone's heart in a contest and shoved it in her chest. She was okay as a character so her passing isn't that big a deal. She was also dropped from the rules but still also features heavily all the way through the new codex as the up and coming rival to Vect, her loss was more inexplicable since she could have easily filled the gap of special character Archon, since Succubus & Haemonculi both have theirs. She was barely any different to any other Archon rules-wise though, so she's easily recreated. It's just a shame you can't take two relics for some reason so you could have the djinn blade and the helm of spite to represent the crystal heart.
Kruellagh the Vile, possibly the worst-named character in 40K history.NO LONGER EXISTS. ALL HAIL LORD KELLY!- Lord Hellion Baron Sathonyx, who many on /tg/ believe to be Spider-Man's archnemesis. Was kinda cool for his FOC-shifting abilities with respects to Hellions.
- Kheradruakh the Decapitator, who, uh, cuts peoples heads off and collects them like beanie babies. Implied to be collecting them like coconuts to do some serious warp-related shit. Was also never used because Mandrakes suck. The most he has now is a footnote in the Mandrakes entry. He is, however, very good to count as a Callidus Assassin.
- Duke Sliscus, the Pirate Duke who drinks poisons, has all the best drugs, and brings all the bitches to the yard with his gigantic cock. Almost as insufferable as Assholetep. Much missed because his contraband rule stopped you from rolling terrible combat drugs, and now this is gone. The rest of his rules weren't particularly special though, so you can still have him using the Archon rules.
Survivors
- Urien Rakarth, a hyper-evolved Pavi Largo.
- Drazhar, the Master of Blades, who's strongly suggested is the fallen Phoenix Lord of the Striking Scorpions aspect.
- Lelith Hesperax, an oversexed gladiatrix/snuff-film porn starlet so badass her fucking hair counts as a power weapon (srsly, so much implied masturbation in her profile, it's not even funny).
Dating a Dark Eldar
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Gallery
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Kill like a DEldar, DEldar. -
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Buying this CD is Heresy! Download it from torrent. -
No, no, you got it right the first time. -
Oh, that wacky Vect. -
"Well, look. I mean, is he gonna be able to chase us? Cause if I woke up lookin' like that, I would just run towards the nearest living thing and kill it." -
He's only a gimp but he's not that funny. -
Your daily commute in Commorragh, except everyone's an elf-rapist, the pistols shoot poison that can kill robots, and the chicks are soul-sucking crack whore gladiators. -
Some armies clad their dedicated combat units in armor that covers more than areolas and genitals. Some armies are for pussies. -
Mercy? Interesting word, I always wanted to know its meaning. -
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What is up? -
Fucking Pony nonsense... Fucking with... Sense of... What were we talking about? -
Combat drugs: Not even once. -
If an army of evil space-dominatrices squared off against an army of semi-heroic space nuns, who would win? We don't care its HAWT. -
...but at least you can't call them quitters! Keep fucking that chicken!
