Eldrad
The character of Eldrad Ulthran is lifted from Games Workshop's Warhammer 40,000: he is renowned as the foremost psyker of the Eldar, Chief Farseer for Craftworld Ulthwé. He is awfully fond of engaging in overly elaborate plots to tweak the balance of fate, presumably to preserve the Eldar as a species. Also, he engages in only the highest forms of dickishness, as the accounts from one of his retinue warlocks attest. Possibly father to Taldeer and Macha- LCB is ambiguous, but current /tg/ canon acts on the assumption that he is.
He's dead now, supposedly, or maybe not. Nobody can ever tell with Eldrad, but in any case he vanished during the 13th Black Crusade. He left behind a bunch of active waystones, causing some Eldar to think that Eldrad is simply trapped in the Warp for the time being, doing something with Slaanesh, but the guy's a dick and it's hard to tell what, if anything, he's actually doing. His patron god is almost certainly Cegorach who was the biggest dick in the Eldar pantheon and one of the unholy...quadrinity...of dickishness and Just as planned. Nevermind GW is pretending this never happened. But he's definitely in league with Cegorach, as he's seen leading a troop of Harlequins against the Deathwatch in the new Death Masque game.
Some time ago, Abaddon led an assault on craftworld Ulthwé, to attack the Eldar Farseer Council there. After slowly slogging through the craftworld, all the while his Black Legion suffered massive casualties as the Eldar picked them off in hit and run attacks, Abaddon finally got to the council, but found Eldrad waiting for him. Eldrad quickly made a mockery of Abaddon's combat skill; dodging Abaddon's strikes with Drach'nyen and the Talon of Horus with ease. In just two strikes, Eldrad cleaved through Abaddon's terminator armor with virtually no effort and separated him from his arms. The Eldar then stuffed the remainder of the attack force into a dreadclaw with "Failbaddon the Armless' Failboat" and other demeaning terms and images painted all over it and launched it back into the Eye of Terror while laughing hysterically. And that is why Abaddon has no arms.
Explanation
- Where did Eldrad’s reputation for being such a dick come from?
- He gives candy to young races.
And that candy will contain a slow-spreading gingivitis virus that will fester in the new race and slowly spread amongst their entire species. The gum pain will be considered a normal part of everyday life, and they will regularly take painkillers.
When the ’Nids invade them in 3000 years, they too will be infected by the gingivitis disease – but they are mindless beasts, who know not of painkillers. Surviving in constant pain, only made worse by eating, this entire massive hive of ’Nids will simply become extinct, a result of their own adaptation abilities.
And of course, Eldrad’s craftworld would have been the next one in line from that particular hive. Just. As. Planned.
And that is why Eldrad is a dick. There is only one mortal being in 40k who is a bigger dick than Eldrad.
Death of Eldrad
You think you know about Eldrad being a dick. You know nothing.
I was going to partake of his juicy little soul, freshly ripped screaming from his body, when the little bastard managed to slip free and get away. I gave chase throughout the warp, thinking there was no way he could escape. He eventually came to a dead end, and I prepared to drink him in...
...and instead found myself guzzling Khorne's piss. The little bastard had tricked me into drinking my arch-enemy's piss. If it had been anyone else, it would have been sexy as all hell. But he managed to cloak the blood god while he was taking a leak instead.
What a dick.
Oh, and to top that off, I heard he was ghostwriting an AD&D module for Gary Gygax.
Gallery
<gallery> Image:Eldrad_a_dick_but_awesome_by_shadowseer66.png| Image:What'sthisinmyhand.jpg| Image:Eldrad ulthran by eupackardia-d6p4mvi.jpeg| Image:Eldrad by astarsis86.jpg|
| Famous Eldar | |||
|---|---|---|---|
| Heroes: | Eldrad Ulthran - Illic Nightspear - Prince Yriel - Yvraine Visarch - Sylandri Veilwalker | ||
| Phoenix Lords: | Asurmen - Baharroth - Drastanta - Fuegan Irillyth - Jain Zar - Karandras - Maugan Ra | ||
| From Dawn of War I: | Farseer Caerys - Farseer Macha - Farseer Taldeer | ||
| From Dawn of War II: | Autarch Kayleth - Farseer Elenwe - Farseer Idranel Ranger Ronahn - Warlock Veldoran | ||