Gabriel Angelos
Gabriel Angelos is the Captain of the Blood Ravens 3rd Company. The company first appears in the Dawn of War game.
He is so badass that he has been called chapter master without actually being the chapter master. LULZ! The Chapter Master has been revealed to be a scheming Jew called Azariah Kyras, who has fallen to Heresy. Though, upon receiving this information, Gabrial valiantly storms off to defeat him and save the Chapter.
Contrary to other stubborn, hot-headed captains of other Spess Mehreen chapters, Gabe is cool and calm in most situations - like Vance Motherfucking Stubbs. Instead of first killing the enemies and then helping the population, Gabriel manages just as planned tactics that let him do both things at the same time. HAHA! DISREGARD THAT Gabrial's ability to approach problems is no different than any other Space Marine Captain's. He defeats his foes with tremendous tactical skill on the battlefield, not dissimilar to that of CREEEEEEEEEED, albeit to a greatly reduced degree.
Apparently Gabriel had to call the Inquisition after a recruiting excursion to his home planet, Cyrene, when he discovered some traitorous shit going on. The Inquisition launched an Exterminatus to fix it, which resulted in Gabe turning into a mournful bastard and also the only mournful bastard left alive from Cyrene.
Gabriel's friend and one of the only other survivors from Cyrene was Isador Akios, a Librarian that served in Gabriel's company. Isador got lured to Chaos by SIINDRIIII and his Chaos Bongo, however, which obviously led the man to treachery and betrayal. Later on Gabe fought one on one against Isador. Isador blamed Gabe for the Exterminatus of Cyrene, but Gabe claimed that he did it for the good of humanity. Isador may have further argued the point, but Gabriel instead decided to cut the bullshit and to perform a time-honored Space Marine cleansing ritual to free Isador from the dark gods; the ritual itself closely resembled emptying a bolter round into Isador's head.
The Midget Goto wrote a series of DOW books(this pleased him) which were about Gabriel's adventures, but since this only provoked Nerd Rage from both fans and Redshirts alike his stuff is not CANON.
After losing his pal Isador, Gabriel got very lonely, but luckily Farseer Macha became kind of intrigued with him and his Spess Mehreen badassery, and it is believed that Gabriel and Macha dated. In fact some claim that Gabe Angelos claimed Macha's virginity - this, of course, for great justice - in an effort to create a super Spess Mehreen Psyker that someday may become the first Blood Raven metal figure.
Gabe has the ability to call devastating and imbalanced Orbital Bombardments on enemy HQs and he has an inquisitorial, demon ass-kicking and/or killing hammer named Godsplitter, given to him by his new Inquisitor friend Mordecai Toth.
In Dawn of War II Gabe is back and now has 1. a bitchin' cape 2. like invincibility or some shit.
Also has a sexy old man voice.
A SEXY OLD MAN VOICE THAT DIDN'T EVEN REMOTELY RESEMBLE THE VOICE HE HAD IN THE FIRST GAME.
Good thing he's back in Chaos Rising with his old voice :I.
They aren't the same actor?
It was the original VA's brother.
Jesus Christ, if You Have a Soul this Fanfic Will Make You Cheer From All Conceivable Angles
[When I first read this fanfic, it made me angry. So bad was the grammar, so incoherent was the plot, and so childish was the grasp of important writing conventions that I was lead to fume about it every time I visited 1d4Chan. I prodded at it in my mind, like a persistent canker, wondering if anybody had informed the author that he should never write again, or if perhaps he was simply left alone because he may have been a six year-old. Originally, the whole article was written like this fanfic, but I sat down one evening and fixed the information about Gabriel's life; I was able to rewrite the "factual" stuff to make it readable since informative writing is less complex. For these fanfics, however, nothing could be done. At first I changed the story in small ways to emphasize the existence of redundancies and errors, but this left me unsatisfied, because now it appears that perhaps the author intentionally wrote like an idiot. Now, upon reflection, I've decided to simply insert comments to indicate what I've changed and to speculate on why the author must have chosen to write the way he did. I can only hope this helps future generations -Ed.]
Are you Mad Human!? We must cordinate attack or we will pe... - [Elipses followed by a dash indicates that the silence has been cut off early -Ed] ¡It Matters Not Alien! [Using punctuation like this leads me to wonder if the original author is maybe literate but just doesn't speak fluent English -Ed.] SSSINDRIII and his chaos bongo stand no chance. Gabriel Angelos gave a warcry and leaded he's troops running towards what seemed doom, they d Smashed and shotted down anything that came nearby [If I'm not mistaken, that was an ebmarrassingly stupid sentence. The original author used this kind of descriptive terminology to explain Gabriel's combative exploits in his history section, too -Ed.].WE ARE BLOOD RAVENS ! WE DON'T HAVE TIME FOR LITERACY ! DO NOT EVEN THINK ABOUT PUTTING A QUOTATION MARK AT THE END OF THIS SENTENCE OR AFTER PUNCTUATION ! [I added the last two "capslock key broeken" sentences out of spite -Ed.]
This Mon Keigh , tought macha its either stupid or insane! They have no tactical manouvers at all, no doubt they will perish at the might of the Demon Prince.
But the Farseer was wrong , the Alpha Legion and sindri wich had just acended to Demonhood where defeated by Gabriel and He's forces due to a very badass tactic that was applied in combat and micro-management [There you are. Motherfucking. Descriptive. In the Grim Darkness, wars are won by badass tactics and micromanagement -Ed.]. Eat poop and die! cried Angelos as he smashed Sindriii with Godspliter, You Demonfag! [Gabriel has a bit of a "no swearing" policy on his warship, the Litany of Mothers Reading Over Your Shoulders -Ed.]
How is this possible?! He actually did it!... Macha was left speechless ,But then the issue of the Chaos Bongo came [It came like a three hundred pound gorilla! Oh, man, you should have seen it! -Ed.].
Do not destroy the Bongo! ,You will doom us all!
Ignore that 4,000 year old Virgin Captain! [This was probably extremely depressing for Macha to hear. It's bad to still be a virgin after however many hundreds to thousands of years, but when it becomes such common knowledge that even the Mon-Keigh are yelling about it on the battlefield. Well, that's just sad -Ed.] said The Inquisitor Mordecai Destroy it before it leads others to ruin!
You know not what you do! We cannot allow this! Take that Human down!
NOOOOO! Cried Gabriel! And he shattered the Chaos Bongo with the might of he's thunder kickass killing demon hammer!.
You Retarded FOOL! You have dammed us all!
Damnation and doom can kiss my bolter end. Said Gabriel [Absolutely no swearing on the Litany of Mothers Reading Over Your Shoulders! -Ed].
Well done Gabriel! I knew you would do the right thing for the imperioum of man [It's heresy to not capitalize "Imperium of Man" -Ed.], now lets go before the warpstorm engulf us all. And Gabriel and he's troops leaded embarked [I can't count the number of times that I've leaded embarked to or on something -Ed.] on a thunderhawk that took them to their fleetleaving Tartarus to the Maledictum and the warp storm to their own fate
This Mon Keigh was insane! she tought Macha had never seen someone so do so much folish acts in a row [As indicated by "She thought Macha had..." the author has clearly introduced some mysterious, new female character into his story. However, just as mysteriously as she arrives, she disapears and is never referred to again -Ed.], but then again had he not surpassed all the obstacles that assured doom? Had he not defeated the Alpha Legion and its Demon Prince? Maybe he was not insane, maybe he was just too badass to be true [Maybe just badass enough to save the president -Ed.]. she didnt know how to feel, if either angry or impressed about it. Then She fleed with her troops to the nearest webway.
Ohh Eldrad Will surely be Pissed when he gets to know about this.Tought Macha as she took off her helmet. But then her toughts moved back to Gabriel, such fearless person [He doesn't afraid of anything -Ed.]. He embraced the danger with such determination that the day would end up being he's at the end [It gets really tiring reading even this far. Has anyone ever watched Manos the Hands of Fate? Even with the MST3K commentary? It's like that. Even if you make fun of the movie the entire time, it's just so inextricably boring -Ed.].
She didnt know much about her father wich was presumely adoptive, for she was from beil-tan while he was from Ulthwe. She had spend a rough childhood of favoritism during her childhood with her childhood Sister Taldeer wich was Eldrad's real childhood daughter. Tought Now, she now was among her people at Biel-Tan wich are true warriors that seek to revive the glory of the days when the Eldar had an empire across the stars. From all the Craftworlds they where the one growing back to what they used to be in the past. Strong and flourishing, This made Macha feel like she was with family at the contrary of her childhood on Ulthwe wich made her childhood sad every time her childhood she remembered [The original author used the word "childhood" a lot in this paragraph. I added the word a few more times because, Hell, it couldn't make this fanfic any worse than it already is! -Ed].
The mission she had just carried was something that the Council of Biel-Tan had done in order to aid their sister craftworld Ulthwe , and something that may lead a catastrophe for the craftworld in the future. They knew of her failure already, for the Eldar are psychic Beings and they communicate as much trought telepathy as they do by speaking [You know, sometimes I think about how embarrassing that would be, to live in a world in which everybody can read each other's minds. I wonder if we'd just become dismissive of obtuse or offensive thoughts, or if we'd have to be explaining ourselves all the time to one another -Ed].
Eldrad was furious when he heard of this news [As was foretold in an earlier part of the story. Foreshadowing anyone? No? Ok -Ed.], he didnt wanted to speak with the council but with the woman that had led the operation and that was Macha. When she came to confront him, Eldrad scolded her like a child in childhood and compared her to the succesful of he's other daughter Taldeer [I did add "childhood" one more time. It just seemed right -Ed.]. Wich had acomplished various achievements, one of them in wich she succesfuly tricked various fractions in Lorn V.
Once Macha finished enduring the scold by her father she left and decided to relax for as much as little as she could due to Biel-Tan had constant operations and the only time of peace that they knew was when they prepared for war. It was oxymoron crazyness [Sometimes an oxymoron can be used to convey additional meaning and feelings of conflict. In this case, an oxymoron has simply been used to not make any sense within the explicit context of the writing -Ed.].
She was sad and frustrated, almost crying. Why did all of this had to happen to her , she had only tried to do the right thing but she was never good enought. She tought on her sister and on how easely she accomplished things and of how easy her life whent. She decided that this was not going to help her on feeling any good until it came to her mind then.
That Mon Keigh on steroids that she has just met! The Space Marine Captain! How strong he had been, how brave and confident he was. Then she noticed it, she felt good when she tought on him , she liked it. For that brief Mission on Tartarus Macha had come to admire that Space Marine called Gabriel Angelos, she wanted to be like him but she couldnt afford those toughts for he had he's own porpuse during that time.
But now that was past, and she had no reason to fight him now. Well except he was a mon Keigh, but screw it [A common thought process among important political figures. "Well, fucking a chimpanzee would destroy my career, but screw it!" -Ed.]! If her sister could hang out with that Assasin then Macha couldnt see the reason of why not go and give a quick look at Gabriel [You know, I'm from that "bad ending" camp of Love Can Bloom readers. I know it's basically well accepted that LIIVI survived and ran away with Taldeer, but ask yourself: what's the most Grimdark possibility? Death and failure. It doesn't really change how stories should be written since the interpretation of greatest mass should probably be the deciding one, but I've completely lost interest in this guy's fanfic here in any case -Ed].
She was feeling good now, and she dressed quickly with her wargear and with a group of Rangers they whent to the Location of Gabrie Angelos, at Rahe's Paradise [This is not why Macha went to Rahe's Paradise -Ed].
_____________________________________________________________________________
Scorned by the Luv that may BOOM! /or/ You want me to write What?! =
Farseer Taldeer! Dreamer of Wet dreams and spouse of the stinger of faggots, watched enviously across the galaxy. There in the comfort of her comfortable room she sat and saw the new interest of her beloved sister sister.
Consorting with humans was one thing, but with a SPACE MARINE was a whole new level! She hated her, only herself had the rights for such attentions. A cross the room sat the Vindicare Assasin Polishing his sniper rifle and cleaning his googles. Taldeer was in her days so the hypocrite hate towards her sister was doubled. The Assasin despised Machas as well, he was hardly kind towards her but only for pity.
Macha had returned to her home world of Biel-Tan which was a place of sunny dale where the Eldars could get a Tan that was Muy Bueno It was very clean and more silver and bleached boned like never before. She was glad to have returned to its homeworld not just now that everything was flowers and rainbows, but way before when she was a child and she lived in Ulthwe with her uncle Eldrad and her cruel Bitch sister/cousin Taldeer. But that was left half dead in the past just as that half dead craftworld, Now macha had finally an official Love interest!
Back In Ulthwe which suffered an economic crisis and lack of population. Taldeer had decided to screw Macha's new boyfriend by fcking up his chapter. The Blood Ravens they where called, such a new chapter they where noobs LOL. The assasin Informed Taldeer that the Blood Ravens where going to a Planet called Kronus to start a Dark Crusade. Taldeer jumped of happiness with her husband and she went running to her father to talk to him about the matter. Apparently her sister had befriended a Blood Ravens Marine, a loylaist and pathetic splinter of the Thousand Sons, or so the fans say.
It was Granted Taldeer and an entire Host with the last models of fire prisms, falcons and her daddy's favorite china portals that where given to her, Went to Kronus There they stablished their base in Tyrea so they could screw the operations of the Blood Ravens. However Taldeer was not alone, with her help her husband managed to manipulate the impetuous 13 year old commander of the kronus liberators 1st Regiment LUKAS Alexander. They tricked him to attack the blood ravens and convinced him that he had more right to keep the planet for himself than the Blood Ravens.
So the Crusade Began, for Taldeers surprise the Commander of the Blood Ravens wasnt Gabriel Angelos but some guy called Davian Thule or Fool as she fancied to call him. Nevertheless to bad was for her, Relic declared that the Blood Ravens won and that they Anhilated every other faction. Taldeer was so emo that she let herself get raped by the bolter fire of the space marines, her luxury host got obliterated and the super expensive china portals of her dad had been crushed.
Such loss that the craftworld will never be able to heal.
The loss of his beloved wife drove the Vindicare Assasin Mad! So full of Nerd Rage that for typing so much he couldnt micro in time and he got imba raped by the psychic power of the new Grey Knights.
Across the stars Macha invited Angelos and his company to a party at her craftworld place where the Blood Ravens and Biel-Tan became friends. They drinked martinis broke some piñatas, had a great lunch and danced all night. Meanwhile in the middle of the party, Gabriel Angelos and Macha they consumed their virginity, their echoes of passion resonated trought the corridors of the strike cruiser Litany of Fury. And Machas moans of love reached the highest towers of her craftworld. With the Omnisaiah as their witness the world knew that Macha was the 40k year old virgin no more and that now she had a boyfriend.
And that is why from now on Ulthwe is always the craftworld that oposses the Blood Ravens in the DOW games. For spite and grudge, for befriending Macha and her craftworld and ultimately killing their Bloom Lover Faggot Icons. The loss of such faggotry, couldnt be undone.
Up to date the Ulthwe craftworld has failed all their attempts at screwing the Blood Ravens. Also the Thousand Sons went LMAO and stole the keys to the Eldar Black Library, Eldrad decided that it was time to adjust accounts with the parents of the Blood Ravens, however he failed and got sucked into the warp. While the Thousand sons LAUGHED THEIR ASSES OFF and the Nerds Raged across the warp.
Farseer Taldeer! Dreamer of Wet dreams and spouse of the stinger of faggots, watched enviously across the galaxy. There in the comfort of her comfortable room she sat and saw the new interest of her beloved sister sister.
Consorting with humans was one thing, but with a SPACE MARINE was a whole new level! She hated her, only herself had the rights for such attentions. A cross the room sat the Vindicare Assasin Polishing his sniper rifle and cleaning his googles. Taldeer was in her days so the hypocrite hate towards her sister was doubled. The Assasin despised Machas as well, he was hardly kind towards her but only for pity.
Macha had returned to her home world of Biel-Tan which was a place of sunny dale where the Eldars could get a Tan that was Muy Bueno It was very clean and more silver and bleached boned like never before. She was glad to have returned to its homeworld not just now that everything was flowers and rainbows, but way before when she was a child and she lived in Ulthwe with her uncle Eldrad and her cruel Bitch sister/cousin Taldeer. But that was left half dead in the past just as that half dead craftworld, Now macha had finally an official Love interest!
Back In Ulthwe which suffered an economic crisis and lack of population. Taldeer had decided to screw Macha's new boyfriend by fcking up his chapter. The Blood Ravens they where called, such a new chapter they where noobs LOL. The assasin Informed Taldeer that the Blood Ravens where going to a Planet called Kronus to start a Dark Crusade. Taldeer jumped of happiness with her husband and she went running to her father to talk to him about the matter. Apparently her sister had befriended a Blood Ravens Marine, a loylaist and pathetic splinter of the Thousand Sons, or so the fans say.
It was Granted Taldeer and an entire Host with the last models of fire prisms, falcons and her daddy's favorite china portals that where given to her, Went to Kronus There they stablished their base in Tyrea so they could screw the operations of the Blood Ravens. However Taldeer was not alone, with her help her husband managed to manipulate the impetuous 13 year old commander of the kronus liberators 1st Regiment LUKAS Alexander. They tricked him to attack the blood ravens and convinced him that he had more right to keep the planet for himself than the Blood Ravens.
So the Crusade Began, for Taldeers surprise the Commander of the Blood Ravens wasnt Gabriel Angelos but some guy called Davian Thule or Fool as she fancied to call him. Nevertheless to bad was for her, Relic declared that the Blood Ravens won and that they Anhilated every other faction. Taldeer was so emo that she let herself get raped by the bolter fire of the space marines, her luxury host got obliterated and the super expensive china portals of her dad had been crushed.
Such loss that the craftworld will never be able to heal.
The loss of his beloved wife drove the Vindicare Assasin Mad! So full of Nerd Rage that for typing so much he couldnt micro in time and he got imba raped by the psychic power of the new Grey Knights.
Across the stars Macha invited Angelos and his company to a party at her craftworld place where the Blood Ravens and Biel-Tan became friends. They drinked martinis broke some piñatas, had a great lunch and danced all night. Meanwhile in the middle of the party, Gabriel Angelos and Macha they consumed their virginity, their echoes of passion resonated trought the corridors of the strike cruiser Litany of Fury. And Machas moans of love reached the highest towers of her craftworld. With the Omnisaiah as their witness the world knew that Macha was the 40k year old virgin no more and that now she had a boyfriend.
And that is why from now on Ulthwe is always the craftworld that oposses the Blood Ravens in the DOW games. For spite and grudge, for befriending Macha and her craftworld and ultimately killing their Bloom Lover Faggot Icons. The loss of such faggotry, couldnt be undone.
Up to date the Ulthwe craftworld has failed all their attempts at screwing the Blood Ravens. Also the Thousand Sons went LMAO and stole the keys to the Eldar Black Library, Eldrad decided that it was time to adjust accounts with the parents of the Blood Ravens, however he failed and got sucked into the warp. While the Thousand sons LAUGHED THEIR ASSES OFF and the Nerds Raged across the warp.