Board-tans/pol

This article covers a topic that, by its very nature, is a magnet for flamewars. Try not to get too assmad at what you're about to read.

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Gender/Physical Description: Born April 6, 2006 as /n/ (News), /new/ in January 28, 2010, /pol/ in December 2011 due to a /new/ redirect, then died in late 2015 or some time after the /pol/ocaust. Traditionalists see him as a rebranding of /new/ due to the 4chan.org/new redirect. His new design has a green suit, but due to his current black suit design being often drawn, people are unwilling to let go.

Personality/Habits/Hobbies/Behavior: Antagonistic, bigoted, paranoid, self-absorbed, petty, hypocritical, childish and obsessed with not only knowing everything about conspiracies but ensuring everyone else does as well. Spends much of his time focused on the goings-on of the world and how they relate back to the Jewish menace, or at least some other ulterior force with nefarious goals. /pol/ is a know nothing know it all who claims to be an authority on genetics, political science, climatology and economics despite being a high school drop-out (as he believes that every institute of education is a liberal cesspit full of brainwashing) and the only real job he has ever had is retail work. He only views sources that support his fringe views, no matter how dubious the source is. Sources that aren't dubious tend to not be cross-referenced, get cherrypicked to support his conspiracy theories and often not even read past the title. /sci/, /his/ and /lit/ regularly demolish his claims and he never learns anything when it happens. Obsessed with The Great Happening and eagerly awaits its arrival.

Relationships: /pol/ is notorious for spreading his bullshit everywhere. Whether he does this consciously or not isn't clear; it's more likely passersby hear his rambling, find it interesting and propagate it without him having to do anything. In this respect, his popularity mirrors the popularity of 4chan itself. Became /v/'s comrade during the whole GamerGate debacle but after doing things that /v/ specifically told him not to do, he ran away when this resulted in Gamergate coming under fire. Is Vivian's uncle, but /v/ has threatened to strangle him if he tries to contact her. Will sometimes bait /tg/, but /tg/ usually knows better than to respond.

Few boards would openly claim to like him, but years of ranting has paid off depending on who'd you ask. He is the mortal enemy of social justice warriors across the internet, as well as the Jew (who doesn't exist, goy). /k/ utterly despises him since /pol/ isn't actually pro-gun (/k/ supports gun ownership for all while /pol/ thinks only whites should be allowed) and he regularly vandalizes /k/'s things and tries to get him to help him fight a race war. /mlp/ idolizes /pol/, but /pol/ sees /mlp/ as the epitome of kike brainwashing and estrogen in the water. They may or may not be in a relationship. /int/ appreciates /pol/ and his idolization of the white race, but they can't agree on who is white. Other boards just wish he would keep his conspiracies out of their hobby. /pol/ has recently become infatuated for /x/, and has since been in competition with /v/ for /x/'s affection (see Winter Ball 2014). This is because /pol/ believes /x/ to be Ebola-chan's mother, and doesn't want to become a degenerate single father to his beloved daughterfu. He isn't sure what to make of /lgbt/. On one hand, /lgbt/'s full of degeneracy and won't stop hitting on him. On the other, their opinions match up more than one would expect as /lgbt/ loves shooting for the title of "honarary aryan" to spare themselves from /pol/'s wrath. More recently, he asked /o/ to the 2016 4chan Winter Ball, she accepted, and thus began their adventure to gas the bikes.

He has recently gone off his rocker, believing that he can affect world events by wearing a special hat. The other boards would sympathize with his descent into madness if it didn't cause him to become even more obnoxious than he is normally.

Has now entered officially into a relationship with /mlp/ as of the 2017 April fool's day debacle whereupon they were both locked in a broom cupboard together for an entire day and found they had more in common than they thought. Rumours of a Pregnancy continue to circulate, as nobody can be sure whether the existence of /mlpol/ will continue to exist or flounder.

On the 5th of April, /mlpol/, /pol/ and /mlp/'s child, was killed by mods. This has, obviously, not been good for either of their mental states, and both /pol/ and /mlp/ are looking into occult means of retrieving /mlpol/ from the underworld with the help of /x/, much to the dismay of other boards, who have to listen to their ramblings. After much time however, they eventually gave up on this effort, and /pol/ went back to hating /mlp/ just as usual. Nonetheless, rumors of /mlpol/'s survival still linger about, much to the disgust of /pol/ who considered /mlpol/ too much like her mother to be considered a son to him.

On May 4th of the same year, /pol/ later had a second child in /bant/ whose mother was unknown, a child who he desperately attempted to make as a replacement for /mlpol/ but failed, only succeeding in alienating the young board in the process. /pol/ continues to support her and hopes that he will be able to turn her into one of his footsoldiers, but his abrasive, cruel nature compared to her desire to take it easy makes this an unlikely except for the few moments where their desires align. He periodically sends her his threads as a means to educate /bant/ about the Jew and other dangers of the world, but more often than not they end up being saged and slid off the board in short order. /bant/'s disapproval is one of the few negative relationships that frustrates /pol/ about his inability to control, and he fears that with her status as a trial board he might lose her like /mlpol/, and is powerless to do anything about it.

Both the people who made /mlpol/ and /bant/'s papa backstory should get some therapy, but then again, this is 1d4chan, so who are we to make such moralfag judgements?

Job: /pol/'s main focus is his blog where he spreads (dis)information about current political and socioeconomic events. In order to make ends meet, he works a shitty retail job. If asked about his lack of success in life, he will claim that it's because of the jews keeping down goyim like him. No board is fooled by this and knows that it's because he is a high school drop-out with the social skills of a betta fish.

/POL/ DEPICTIONS:

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  /pol/ during the /pol/harbor 2014

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  Three popular /pol/ appearances during the 2014 Winter Ball OTP-fest

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  /new/ as a rebranded /pol/-tan. Used during /pol/'s earlier years pre-2014.

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  A version of /pol/ used for /polgbt/. Based off a comic featuring /polgbt/ innawoods.

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  homestuck, /pol/, /co/. The green suit campaigned against black suit in various board-tan skirmishes.

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  Project Hate Machine /pol/, 2014-current.

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  Gas the bikes!

/POL/ WITH OTHER BOARDS:

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  /pol/ meeting /x/ on the radio waves

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  /lgbt/ and /pol/ users on Omegle

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  /pol/ helping /v/ with Vivian's creation

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  Fiction with /pol/ and /mlp/'s tans

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  /pol/ and /b/ with tumblr on Independence Day, 2014

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  An anon's opinion on /pol/

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  /pol/ asks /o/ to the ball.