The Imperium of Man

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Imperium of Man
Capital	Holy Terra
Official Languages	High Gothic (aka Latin), Low Gothic (aka English/French/German/Italian/Russian/Chinese/Literally Every Language) and its countless dialects, Binary and billions of minor and local languages
Power	Galactic Superpower
Size	Galactic but stretched thin More than 1 million to 10 million planets
Head of State	Emperor of Mankind
Head of Government	Lord Commander of the Imperium Roboute Guilliman, High Lords of Terra, Lord Regent of Imperium Nihilus Dante
Governmental Structure	Unitary Atheistic Authoritarian Absolute Monarchy (Great Crusade) Feudal Totalitarian Theocratic Dictatorship (Age of Apostasy) Feudal Theocratic Authoritarian Confederated Oligarchy (41st Millennium) Unitary Authoritarian Semi-Theocratic Confederation (42nd Millennium)
State Religion/Ideology	State Atheism (Great Crusade) Imperial Cult (32nd Millennium onward)
Demographic	Humans, Abhumans, minor Xenos races, assorted Transhumans
Military Force	Imperial Guard, Space Marines, Militarum Tempestus, Sisters of Battle, Inquisition, Planetary Defense Force

"What a piece of work is a man! How noble in reason, how infinite in faculty! In form and moving how express and admirable! In action how like an angel, in apprehension how like a god! The beauty of the world. The paragon of animals. And yet, to me, what is this quintessence of dust?"

– Hamlet Act 2, Scene 2

"Great empires are not maintained by timidity."

– Tacitus

"This bloated, rotten carcass of an empire is driven not by reason and hope, but by fear, hate and ignorance."

– Roboute Guilliman, who is not pleased by the actual state of the Imperium

The Aquila, the symbol of the Imperium and personal heraldry of the God-Emperor of Mankind. Failing to show proper reverence to the Aquila is heresy punishable by *BLAM*ing. The two heads represent looking towards the future while being blind towards the mistakes of the past, while the two heads and differing feet represent the Terra-Mars alliance.

The Imperium of Man (Lat.: IMPERIVM HVMANVM or IMPERIVM HOMINIS) is a gigantic, galaxy-spanning Civilization (to give you an idea of how truly massive this empire is, the most conservative estimates place its population at four quadrillion. Estimates that take into account the huge number of what are essentially cramped apartment-building planets? Now we're talking upwards of FORTY quadrillion. Oh, and this is not counting planets they have lost track of due to various heresies and other catastrophies, not to mention the general incompetence of those blasted pencil-push*BLAM*) that contains the vast majority of humanity in the tabletop game Warhammer 40K. It is often stereotyped in popular media as a xenophobic, amoral, gargantuan, militaristic, merciless, stratified, theocratic, paranoid, dystopian, totalitarian, semi-police state and hellishly oligarchical bureaucracy. Why this is called 'stereotypical' to begin with is questionable though since it's absolutely fucking true*BLAM* Think of a hideous amalgamation of the Roman Empire including Byzantine Era with its sheer amount of scheming and administrative stupidity, pre-Reformation Catholic Church, Nazi Germany, Imperial Japan, Soviet Russia and George Orwell's 1984 spread out across the stars, under constant attack by aliens and subject to countless disasters everyday. Add in the fanatical worship of a dead dictator and it's basically North Korea IN SPEHSS (but somehow fucking works).

However, this is what GW wants you to think; in all retrospective outside of the popular perspective, the Imperium of Man can actually be a pretty nice place to live depending on where you actually live... although GW description does apply to Death Worlds, some Hive Worlds and the Imperium as a whole. Sure, there are shit-holes like Catachan, but because of its size and extreme variety, you also have a higher chance of being born in places that shits all over any modern developed country and may even be led by people better than Gandhi. While it's plausible that atrocities happen all the time in the Imperium, given its size, that doesn't mean that everyone is always doomed. Unfortunately Games Workshop decided to ignore this aspect since it is not metal and grimderp enough...and thus does not help with sales.

Almost everything 40K related and homebrewed on this website is a sterling example of /tg/ taking creative liberties with what the Imperium stands for. These include, but are not limited to, the Angry Marines, Commissar Raege, Commissar Fuklaw, Pretty Marines, Reasonable Marines... Truly, anonymous delivers!

Synopsis

The Iron Men are credited with fucking humanity right over, just like the Old Ones did with the rest of the galaxy's inhabitants.

The Imperium consists of over a million habitable worlds and is of such size that the loss of a few dozen planets (along with billions of citizens) is not even worth the paperwork it would take to declare said worlds Perdatus. Under constant threat and attack by a myriad of powerful alien races and traitorous forces, the Imperium is engulfed in a constant galaxy-spanning war. The everyday rule of the Imperium is left to the High Lords of Terra, who basically don't give a fuck about anybody and have no clue what the hell they're doing half of the time.

The figurehead and subject of compulsory religious veneration, the immortal God-Emperor of Mankind forged the Imperium out of the Age of Strife. Being physically fucked for the past 10,000 years, he sits immobile and connected to the Golden Throne far from the sight of his subjects, witnessed his formerly glorious utopia of science and reason drop 99.9% of its IQ points against his will, and requires the sacrifice of many psykers a day to keep him alive, though this hasn't prevented his body from decomposing (he still has some fleshy bits left) and now looks like a mummy without the wrappings. Heresy is the greatest crime one can commit in the Imperium, the punishment for which is a painful death or torture followed by a painful death. Technology is barely understood and basically mythological, and even the Techpriests are afraid of their machines (this aspect of the Techpriests has been lessened over the years, now they're more like spiritualistic and very dogmatic scientists rather than technowizards.)

This would never happen. Ever. At least, not where anyone could see it.

The Imperium is also one of the biggest entities in the 40k universe, like a fatguy that hogs half the couch for himself and forces the others to sit on the arm rests. Some fa/tg/uys theorize that if the Imperium falls it may take the rest of the galaxy with it, as it holds so much territory that it staves off the Tyranids and the Orks before they can nom/loot everyone else's shit. (e.g. Dawn of War II, Spess Mahreens nuke the Tyranid fleet before they can nom an Eldar Craftworld.)

It's now a complete shithole and is not even remotely close to the Emperor's vision for humanity. Reasons for this include the Imperium's leaders being heartless fuckwads and the necessity of such an uncaring organization for the survival of humanity in a galaxy that wants to kill them in a million painful ways.

That's fucking grimdark, but at least there's Slaanesh to lighten everything u-*BLAM*

+ This article's author has been seized by the local authorities for heresy. Please report all known contacts and co-conspirators to your local Commissar. ++ You may resume reading this article with an approved author. +

Well, honestly, Nurgle is at least a pretty nice gu-*BLAM*

+ This article's approved author has been seized by the local authorities for heresy. Please again, report all known contacts and co-conspirators to your local Commissar. ++ You may resume reading this article with an even more approved author. +

Well, at least we have Tzee-*BLAM*

+ This article's approved author has been seized by the local authorities for heresy. Please again, report all known contacts and co-conspirators to your local Commissar. ++ You may resume reading this article with an even more approved author. +

Kho-*BLAM*

+ This article's approved author has been seized by the local authorities for heresy. Please again, report all known contacts and co-conspirators to your local Commissar. ++ You may resume reading this article with an even more approved author. ++ And for fucks sake please stop mentioning the cha-- *BLAM*

Roboute Guilliman in M42

With the events of Gathering Storm and the Dark Imperium, the awakening of Big Blue Wonder ushered sweeping changes within the governmental ruling of the Imperium. Roboute's self coronation as Lord Commander (His old job) and political reforms that meant the firing of some High Lords of Terra meant that the IoM is becoming more centralized like it was during the Great Crusade.

Of course, centralization means a more authoritarian Imperium. Nevertheless, Guilliman is the best living person to be given the responsibility in fixing the bureaucratic nightmare of the Imperium, so there is little reason to panic. One of the biggest reasons the vast majority of the Imperial Guard spends entire careers fighting rebelling worlds instead of humanity’s enemies is because each planet is highly autonomous and their governments simply blame the Imperium for the hardships caused by the greed of those worlds’ nobles and governors. So, an Imperium with greater authority and control over its worlds would increase efficiency and effectiveness of planetary governments in the Imperium’s usual inefficient methods; then the eighty percent of Imperial Guard forces fighting rebels can go banhammer aliens and daemons instead. Some (including the High Lords themselves, to the surprise of nobody) consider Roboute's rule as a dictatorship (not like they can honestly stop him since he has a blood claim to the throne and effectively controls all Space Marines and Custodes), but the reality is that whilst the Imperium is centralizing in a manner akin to how it was in the Great Crusade, certain political entities such as the Ecclesiarchy and the Inquisition still holds significant clout and influence over the Imperium. With Guilliman currently updating his new Codex Imperialis for good governance and ruling, it is safe to say that the quality of life for the Imperium would be slowly improving. Of course, the vastness and sheer diversity of the IoM combined with the unwillingness of the above-mentioned political entities to accept reform means that the actual results are far more complicated than this. Nonetheless, the very fact that Guilliman's rule is actively trying to improve the Imperium with mixed results shows that the Imperium unlike traditional oppressive regimes, still have a chance for the better. It would still be the Imperium we know and love, but it would be far more efficient and competent, since efficiency and competency was the biggest crutch on why the Imperium is in such a dire situation. Resistance to Guilliman’s reforms would most likely be met by a visit from loyal Inquisitors and the Inquisitor’s who plot against his reforms would probably be vanished by Raven Guard sent by Guilliman. Anyone in the way of his plans would simply...disappear or end up mysteriously dead. Primarchs are not known for taking shit. Or for accepting “no” as an answer to their orders.

Furthermore, it seems that the jingoistic foreign policy of the Imperium towards xenos for 10,000 years has relaxed slightly in favor of pragmatism on Robby's part, most exemplified by the current alliance of convenience between the Imperium and the Ynnari (It's hard to say exactly how sincere the relationship is; Guilliman himself noted that the Ynnari could be respected but not necessarily trusted, and the Visarch has voiced criticism of Yvraine acting as a "lapdog of the Imperium", so while they're not fighting each other they can hardly be called the best of friends). However, it has been suggested that Big Bobby G and Yvraine are totally hot for each other and want to have crazy butt-s...OH NOT AGAIN! *BLAM* HERESY! It could also be due to the giant Warp scar spawned from Abaddon's 13th Black Crusade and how Chaos is now a bigger threat to the Imperium than ever. G-man also appointed Dante as warden to administer the other half of the Imperium across the Great Rift.

Forces Of The Imperium

• Adeptus Custodes - The Emperor's personal bodyguards who make Space Marines look like ordinary men. Their armour has so much bling it makes even the most pimptastic Space Marine's Artificer Armour look cheap. Their modification and training, not to mention the loss of the Emperor, robbed most of them of empathy and the ability to form connections with other people (even each other), as the only being they trusted absolutely is now stuck between life and death. Others are quite reasonable guys, and after 10,000 years on the bench, and a minor deamon invasion of Holy Terra, they're back in the game in a big way. Anyway, they go to insane lengths and cross any moral line to ensure His safety, and are now going forth on Crusade to help guard humanity as a whole from unending terror. Grimdark.
• Space Marines - The enhanced, power armored supersoldiers who form the elite warriors of the Imperium. All they do is train, sleep, pray, fight, and die; and they love every second of it (being the loyal warrior monks they are). There are only a million of them, but since the Imperium only has about a million planets it kind of evens out. They are no longer human, and remember nothing but an endless service of bloodshed culminating in their own violent deaths. Grimdark.

Die horribly or Join the Guard and THEN die horribly. At least that way you'll get a sweet-looking flashlight.

• Imperial Guard - The countless quadrillions of regular humans who form the vast majority of the Imperium's armed forces. Very similar to a conventional modern military, they are a bunch of manly farmers and factory workers fighting off unstoppable robots with guns that completely rip their skin off, huge monstrous aliens who want to OM NOM NOM everything, batshit insane super humans who want to kill everyone in painful ways and sacrifice their victims' souls while doing it, barbaric aliens who are made for FIGHTAN AND WINNIN', mysterious spehss pansies who don't give a shit about anyone else, spehss elves who wants to torture and rape them with the worst forms of BDSM, Orwellian weeaboo space communists, or obscure but brutal spider Cthulhu reptiles that like to rip your intestines out before stealing all your stuff, with little more than a flashlight, reinforced cardboard, standard-issue chest-hair and BALLS O' STEEL. Or that's what you might be led to believe: a big part of the Imperium's wars are fought against fellow humans (or things that once were human) but decided they had enough of being crapped upon by greedy superiors and uncaring leaders. Selfishly ignoring the fact the Imperium has no problem with them overthrowing said greedy superiors and uncaring leaders so long as Imperial law, taxes, and tithes are obeyed. But no, that would mean admitting their own cowardice was their own fault, so they rebel against "the man" instead and "the man" curbstomps them in the face for it. Most Imperial Guardsmen are conscripted every now and then from the best Planetary Defence Force troopers on a given world. Some planets supplement this supply with prisoners, while others give over their entire population to the Imperium as their tithe, the birth rate equaling the recruitment rate. Most die or muster out and they will never again see home, unless they're fighting on it. Grimdark.

Combat Dentists, the Mechanicum's leading specialists on tooth heresy.

• Adeptus Mechanicus - An organization of Tech-priests. They have a monopoly over all Imperial technology from giant mecha to cybernetics, and almost everyone else in the Imperium is afraid of their machines. As a result, the Admech has to loan their techpriests to other organizations in the form of Enginseers, though for Space Marines it's more a work study program as they'll send one of their own troops to become a Techmarine. Independent scientists also exist, but only as long as they don't get killed for heresy or stay below the Mechanicus radar. Once these independents get powerful or competent enough to make a difference, they get wiped out or absorbed into Cult Mechanicus. Includes Adeptus Titanicus‎, Legio Cybernetica (Insidious Death Robotics, Inc), Centurio Ordinatus (look at name, figure it out), Skitarii (basically Imperial Guard of the Mechanicus), Auxilia Myrmidon (tech-priest war savants, stuff of nightmares), and the Ordo Reductor (siege specialists, infamous for ripping off the Space Marines by making the Thallax). Grimdark.
• Imperial Navy - Job is pretty self-explanatory, they split with the Guard after the Horus Heresy. They are a very large organization, as you would expect from a navy tasked with protecting a million worlds. Their ships range in size from meters-long fighters to kilometers-long battleships which are quite capable of blowing up planets, mostly Imperial ones, which they do at the command of the Inquisition on a regular basis in the fight against HERESY. Because Humanity was ass-raped by AI 15,000 years ago, the Imperial Navy uses huge human crews, most of which are "recruited" (i.e. Shanghaied) to die in space as one of billions of expendable men. Grimderp, considering not even some hydraulic lifters are employed when reloading even though the rest of the ship is high tech.
• Adeptus Arbites - These guys police every world in the Imperium. They're like Judge Dredd but more Grimdark. Arbites are usually one of the first institutions to be set up on a world and are equipped to fight a small war, with equipment ranging from power mauls and suppression shields to lasguns and even the Leman Russ Battle Tank. On the ground the Arbites have four units: Patrol Groups, whose job it is to make sure no wrongdoing occurs in the settlement; Shock Troops who are sent in when there are riots, street wars and other generalized disturbances (they usually shoot on sight if you are anywhere near the problem center); Execution Teams who pursue specific guilty individuals or groups; and Snatch Squads who are charged with capturing a specific individual or group for questioning. The criminals caught by the Arbites usually wind up dead one way or another. The Inquisition often uses the Arbites to apprehend certain individuals if they do not wish to be directly involved. Grimdark.
• Inquisition - The KGB of the Imperium. Their job is to keep said Imperium secure and loyal. With jurisdiction over nearly anyone and anything, the Inquisitors and their agents have very few impediments on their endless quest to contain heresy. The Inquisition consists of three main branches: the Ordo Hereticus, who's duty is to eliminate or contain threats such as HERESY, mutants, and traitors; the Ordo Xenos, who specialize in destruction of alien threats, and the Ordo Malleus who are called on to stop Daemonic incursions. If they do their job poorly, entire worlds get destroyed based on the barest rumors. Alternatively, if they do their jobs well, those worlds still get destroyed because there are no other alternatives to stop the many genocidal threats the Imperium faces. Also, nobody expects them. Grimdark.

The Inquisition: not as easy as it looks.

• Sisters of Battle - The Ecclesiarchy's army, the nuns-with-guns or bolter bitches. Originally, they were an isolated all-female cult on a backwater world, and subsequently became the personal army of Goge Vandire during his fab Age of Apostasy. After that blew over, they came into their current role through some top-notch rules lawyering- after the Age of Apostasy, the Ecclesiarchy was only barred from having men under arms, so the Sisters weren't disbanded. They are trained from early age (because they are picked up as orphans) and in the end they become one of the best fighting troops of the Imperium, second only to the Astartes themselves. Their faith is so great that even Grey Knights are jealous of it. /tg/ likes to see Sisters in different heretical fantasies, often involving Slaanesh, female Tau and Eldar Farseers. But what the poor bastards don't know is that the Sisters are all into celibacy (though some lore says otherwise), love only the Emperor (sometimes it's a damn shame), and are so zealous and fanatical that they would turn off just about any human man anyway. Armed with their trusty Bolters, Meltaguns and Flamers (The Holy Trinity of weaponry as far as they're concerned), they go around the galaxy and kick Chaos/Renegades/Xenos ass as much as they can. Grimdark.
• Deathwatch - If you're an especially skilled Space Marine, or if your chapter just wants to get rid of you, the Deathwatch is always looking for new recruits to train into even more hyper-efficient xenos-killing machines. Acting on behalf of the Ordo Xenos, recruits get hypno-indoctrinated with endless videos of battle brothers getting slaughtered by all manner of xenos until they become frothing angry and need to be physically restrained. Instead of organizing into large task forces, the Deathwatch fights in small special-forces killteams to complete specific objectives and kick ass. Some of its members deliberately obscure or renounce their past ties and become Blackshields, permanently joining the Deathwatch until death claims them. Grimdark.
• Grey Knights - You thought Space Marines were bad dudes? Well loyal citizen, Grey Knights are SUPER-Space Marines who are VERY interested in your heretical Google image searches. They function as the military arm of the Ordo Malleus. In a galaxy and time where literal demons from space hell can punch through reality and turbo-slaughter whole sectors, the Grey Knights are THE final word in supernatural defense. This was especially important since for over 10,000 years, there WERE no good Primarches around to fight the blasphemous ascended being of the week. Every bit of armor, weapon, training and gear they have is top of the line, and nigh irreplaceable. When they fight, a psychic shroud inhibits the psychic powers of whoever they are fighting, and they have psychic Nemesis Force WeaOH CHRIST, I CAN'T GO ON, THIS SHIT IS BANANAS! Ignore Matt Ward's bullshit, stop making shitty references to Zero Punctuation, and finish the damn article! Psychic Psychic Bendy Spoons. Aside from their anti-anti-anti Chaos gear, Grey Knights aren't typically who you send to stop a cult. They're the guys you send to clean up a Chaos defiled planet with boiling oceans, poisonous air, psychedelic skies, and more bones than living people on them. Grimdark. And yet, no Grey Knight has EVER fallen to Chaos. Which is awesome.
• Officio Assassinorum - The coolest (and scariest) men and women in the Imperium. Whose job it is to kill people. While one would think this would overlap with the duties of every other Imperial organization, it is different because the Assassinorum trains spies and assassins to be more subtle, such as manipulating people to do your dirty work while totally not aware you are behind it. Except when they train batshit insane Eversor Assassins. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is a paradox. Leaving no survivors to tell the tale is a subtlety all in itself. Grimdark.
• Sisters of Silence - The militant arm of the Astra Telepathica, they are all Blanks and refuse to speak but are deadly enough to take down any psyker threat and to travel with the likes of Leman Russ and the Custodes. As you can imagine they feature in some pretty badass artwork but sadly have very little work dedicated to them. It is unknown if they survived the end of the Great Crusade but there have been no indications to the contrary. Given that the Inquisition and Culexus Temple exist their role is partly redundant, but may be justified in that by being under the direct authority of the branch that deals with Psykers it allows a faster and more standardized way of handling Psykers, plus neither zealous assault forces or assassins would exactly fit the job description. Grimdark (?). With the return of Guilliman to the Imperium we now know that the sisters did indeed survive, although they were officially disbanded as a fighting force. Nothing like getting fired the day after your dad dies. Understandably upset, many simply wandered off into the sunset, but a large number stayed to crew the Black Ships that go around collecting psykers to feed to the Emperor. With Rawbutt Girlyman's return, the Emo Sisters have started to fight on the frontlines again, serving as anti-psyker defense and notably fighting alongside their best bros the Custodes for the first time in 10,000 years (maybe). Considering how bad the state of the galaxy is due to the Great Rift, their job has become wayyyyy busier than ever before.

Other organizations

• Administratum - The pencil pushers of the Imperium, complete with bureaucrats so devoted to their trade that they treat it like a religion, and massive inefficiency. They regulate the Imperial Guard and the Imperial Navy, dictate and assess the Tithes all worlds in the Imperium are required to pay to Holy Terra, and administer how those things get used. Their archives are so big and so full that if you search anything in them, you'll die wrapped in endless layers of red tape, if you're not accompanied by an Adept. Grimdark.
• Ecclesiarchy - The Imperial Church which works with the Inquisition to regulate the worship of the Emperor and define what counts as HERESY. Basically priests with flamethrowers and mega-chainsaws. It also oversees the Sisters of Battle and the Schola Progenium, and works closely with the Ordo Hereticus. Often has a complicated relationship with the other members branches of the Imperium (Space Marines insisting that the Emperor was a human, the Administratum for overall control of the Imperium, the Adeptus Mechanicus worshiping a deity that should be the Emprah or not, etc.). Grimdark.
• Adeptus Astra Telepathica - The organization charged with maintaining the Imperium's vast network of psykers, who are necessary for faster than light travel and keeping the Emperor alive on the Golden Throne. Their members are oftentimes forcibly conscripted children who have just barely survived being lynched on their homeworld, and were lucky enough not to be mulched into Emperor Food or Astronomicon fuel. Even so, the process to become a sanctioned psyker is physically and emotionally scaring, and can still lead to a grizzly death via headsplosion, possession, or just losing complete control of your sanity. Grimdark.
• Adeptus Astronomican - The organization charged with maintaining the light of the Astronomican, the psychic beacon for traveling through the Warp. Sacrifices assloads of psykers every day to keep the Astronomican running and literally the only thing keeping the entire Imperium from winking out like a candle. Grimdark.
• Imperial Knights - The Imperial Knights are the lords of feudalistic worlds where the rulers and the military forces are one and the same, piloting massive combat mecha into battle to defend their worlds or to aid the Imperium. Usually have strong ties to the Adeptus Mechanicus. Grimdark.
• Squats - A dwarfish race of technologically advanced abhumans descended from mining colonists on high gravity planets, their worlds were the only other independent Imperial worlds besides Admech's forge worlds prior to integration into the Imperium from the Tyranids war. Their forces complemented that of the Adeptus Mechanicus' and the Imperial Guard, with a tendency towards giant-sized war machines. Their populations are now greatly diminished due to various reasons. Grimdark.

Reasons it sucks to live in the Imperium

"Call no man happy until he is dead."

– Thought for the day. Also Aeschylus

Imperial Guard generals are some of the sexiest men alive, and the worst part is that almost all of them are celibate Lies, all lies!...On an unrelated note, this is one of General Castors earlier designs.

• The High Lords of Terra are brutal and manipulative.
• The Adeptus Arbites make Judge Dredd seem reasonable.
• Thinking about nothing is the only way to survive. Unless you think about the steely musculature and long, shimmering hair of the Emperor.
• The Hive World you almost certainly live on is an overcrowded shithole where being able to breathe non-recycled air is a luxury.
• Thinking about nothing implies you're thinking, and thinking is HERESY.
• You are constantly under attack by Orks, Eldar, Tyranids, Dark Eldar, the forces of Chaos, Space Communists, etc.
• If you mutate, you will be at best shunned, but most likely killed, and even death is not the worst case scenario.
• Voices in your sleep keep telling you that Chaos is great, at which point an Inquisitor kills you whether you resist the temptations or not.
• Priests keep telling you the Imperium is great and then report you for not attending the entirety of your third mass service of the designated planetary worship day, at which point you are executed by local law enforcement.
• If you aren't in the Navy you are in the Imperial Guard, which means you will either die painfully on the battlefield or be executed by a Commissar for not being loyal enough to die on the battlefield. Seriously, many worlds hold your funeral the day before departure, people mourn your passing while you are standing next to them, and you are considered to be already dead.
• Your planetary governor is incompetent, ruthless, heretical or just very greedy (if you're lucky). Any that aren't are rarer than an Ork that doesn't WAAAAGH!, and either dead or about to be killed by one or more of the Imperium's enemies (or someone else from the Imperium).
• Even if you DO win the war via sheer hard-work, chances are that you are sterilized and shipped to a labor camp because you MIGHT have the taint of Chaos. And killed.
• Your whole life consists of working your ass off with no hope of social advancement. Unless you're a noble, in which case nothing in this list applies to you anyway.
• You can be executed for taking incorrect care of your gun and angering the Machine Spirit. And that assumes the Machine Spirit doesn't kill you first.
• Loyalist Space Marines never get laid, eve-*BLAM*

+ This article's approved author has been seized by the local authorities for heresy. Please again, report all known contacts and co-conspirators to your local Commissar. ++ You may resume reading this article with an even more approved author. +

• If you happen to be an Inquisitor, you are expected to watch whatever you order. Vomiting is HERESY.
• Technology scares you. Not much of a change, though is it?
• You are poor and uneducated. Isn't a change, either.
• If and when you die, the chances that anyone will ever give a shit about your death are nearly nonexistent. Again, nor much of a change there either.
• The Orks might eventually (re)unite and destroy the Imperium.
• The Necrons will eventually awaken and might destroy the Imperium.
• Chaos cannot be defeated and will probably destroy the Imperium sooner or later.
• Tyranids are pouring in from nearly all sides of the galaxy and will probably destroy the Imperium through the power of OMNOM.
• If you're not dead in the Guard, dead in the Navy, very dead in the PDF, or dead as a civilian, you're a heretic and alien-sympathizer. Therefore executed, and therefore dead.
• The Imperium routinely cleanses Xeno species. So if you're a wandering Eldar Craftworld or even a minor xenos race on a conquered planet expect no sympathy or even a quick death.
• Independence is nonexistent, and the Imperium has even destroyed two perfectly healthy, anti-chaos empires called Adrantis Five and Interex, granted the second one they destroyed thanks to Chaos bullshit, whoops!
• Incompetence is also nonexistent, and if you show competence, you are imbued by the Chaos Gods and therefore executed for Heresy.
• Thinking ANY model is sexy is obvious heresy.
• And let's not even get started on what it's like if you're on the wrong side of the Great Rift.
• Either you work, or you die. It's that simple. SO BACK TO THE MANUFACTORUMS AND STOP READING NOW!!!

Anthems of the Imperium of Man

• https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=duYoKxb0IeI - The anthem of the Imperium of the 41st Millennium.
• https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MM_c_avPlx4 - Battle anthem of the Adeptus Astartes

See Also

• The Empire (Warhammer Fantasy), for their slightly less grimdark and much smaller scale alleged Warhammer Fantasy counterpart.
• The Underempire for their actual Warhammer Fantasy counterpart.
• Azyr for their noblebright Warhammer: Age of Sigmar counterpart.

Summary

In the grim dark future of the 41st Millennium, there is only bleak, grim, black, hopeless, dismal, barren, gloomy, gray, joyless, dour, dreary, dark, cheerless, glum, oppressive, somber, grim darkness. And the sugar beet/cane is extinct.

What the Imperium would likely look like if the Mechanicus ever decided to get their head out of their collective ass. Except there would be skulls and gothic architecture everywhere (which is automatically superior in every way to stupid shiny smooth shit).

Ah, much better...

External Link

• The history of the Imperium in about a minute and a half.
• The Story of the Imperium in a musical piece - Slow start that soon erupts into allout badassery and is quenched in a desperate last stand against the mighiest threats, before it flickers and dies...
• [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tHSvSZ-UEFc An (arguably) more optimistic but no less brutal take on the eternal Imperium and its history. Times of majesty, times of destruction, times of glory, times of despair, they all alternate and repeat with the one endless constant of war.
• A new song to herald the trying time of the Imperium - A slow, malevolent start to capture the spread of evil over the closest thing to good in the universe followed by faint whispers of hope that erupts in an enormous cresendo, before fading with a quiet whine.
• the Imperium of man's theme song, less serious, more accurate perhaps.