Woe Machine: Difference between revisions

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Not to be confused with "The Engine of Woes", one of the [[Vulkan|Primarch Vulkan's]] artifact.
Not to be confused with "The Engine of Woes", one of the [[Vulkan|Primarch Vulkan's]] artifact.


Woe Machines are what happens when you give the forces of Chaos the concept of [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/BattleBots/ battlebots] and super size it to rival [[Titans]] and super-heavies. They were created by Heritor Asphodel during the lovely clusterfuck known as the Sabbat Worlds Crusade.
Woe Machines are what happens when you give the forces of Chaos the concept of [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/BattleBots battlebots] and super size it to rival [[Titans]] and super-heavies. They were created by Heritor Asphodel during the lovely clusterfuck known as the Sabbat Worlds Crusade.


They were first encountered on Ashek II and to give you how terrifying they were, the local Imperial Guard stationed there and their leader in charge, Marshal Blackwood transmitted urgent pleas to Warmaster Slaydo for Titan reinforcements. And instead of a scene of pure [[Awesome|awesomesauce]] of two giant machines battling out, [[Wat|the Guardsmen being totally out of character for them, was instead traumatized by the machine....what!?]] We are not making this shit up.
They were first encountered on Ashek II and to give you how terrifying they were, the local Imperial Guard stationed there and their leader in charge, Marshal Blackwood transmitted urgent pleas to Warmaster Slaydo for Titan reinforcements. And instead of a scene of pure [[Awesome|awesomesauce]] of two giant machines battling out, [[Wat|the Guardsmen being totally out of character for them, was instead traumatized by the machine....what!?]] We are not making this shit up.

Revision as of 20:23, 22 February 2019

Yeah, even by Chaos standards, they are hard to figure out what the hell they're meant to look like.

"The scale of the enemy woe machines is almost unimaginable, the sheer cruelty... extraordinary: great flywheels fixed with blades, scissoring jaws, vast wheels designed purely for crushing, insectoid crawlers breathing flame from draconian snouts. They are the mechanisms of an insane torturer made real and magnified to giant proportions. The Imperial Guard is many things, but in the end, it is only flesh and bone and blood, and these... are fashioned simply to strip and rend and break those mortal substances quite utterly."

– Marshal Blackwood, 757.M41, in his private journal

Not to be confused with "The Engine of Woes", one of the Primarch Vulkan's artifact.

Woe Machines are what happens when you give the forces of Chaos the concept of battlebots and super size it to rival Titans and super-heavies. They were created by Heritor Asphodel during the lovely clusterfuck known as the Sabbat Worlds Crusade.

They were first encountered on Ashek II and to give you how terrifying they were, the local Imperial Guard stationed there and their leader in charge, Marshal Blackwood transmitted urgent pleas to Warmaster Slaydo for Titan reinforcements. And instead of a scene of pure awesomesauce of two giant machines battling out, the Guardsmen being totally out of character for them, was instead traumatized by the machine....what!? We are not making this shit up.

Still later, Asphodel produced several new woe machines from the manufactories of Hive Ferrozoica on Verghast, where the Heritor mobilized the city's entire population to exterminate its neighbor, Vervunhive.

The Woe Machine has not been seen since, despite the potential awesome it would bring. Another machine wasted and mothballed by Chaos again eh? That said, Asphodel made so many of them that the Imperium didn't have the manpower to disarm them all when he was defeated. And a few of them are waking up..

Of course, from the aforementioned blurb, it's possible that "Woe Machine" may in fact be nothing more than a generic term used for Titan-scale Daemon Engines by Imperials who had no idea what they were looking at.

As it turns out, Heritor Asphodel was not the only person able to create Woe Machines. Anarch Sek was able to create them too, although his methods were a hell of a lot more subtle, making them undetectable sleeper agents that could then turn into a deamonic shadowy buzzsaw when given the order. Given how long two of them were hidden in plain sight in Imperial forces, there could be many more out there..

Forces of the Traitor Legions of Chaos
Leaders: Chaos Champion - Chaos Lord - Daemon Prince - Dark Apostle
Master of Execution - Sorcerer - Master of Possession - Lord Discordant
Unaligned: Chaos Chosen - Chaos Raptors - Chaos Space Marine Squad - Chaos Spawn - Chaos Terminators
Cultist - Havocs - Mutilators - Obliterators - Possessed - Tech-Assassin - Warp Talons - Warpsmith
Negavolt Cultist - Greater Possessed - Dark Disciple - Heretek
Faction Aligned: Khorne Berzerkers - Plague Marines - Noise Marines - Rubric Marines
Great Crusade-era: Breacher Siege Squad - Consul - Despoiler Squad - Destroyer Squad - Esoterist Consul - Legiones Decurion
Legion Herald - Legion Outrider Squad - Legion Vigilator - Moritat - Master of the Signal - Praetor
Reconnaissance Squad - Seeker Squad - Sky Hunter Squad - Tactical Support Squad - Inductii
Structures: Noctilith Crown - Skull Altar
Walkers: Chaos Dreadnought (Ferrum Infernus - Chaos Contemptor
Hellforged Leviathan - Hellforged Deredeo
) - Helbrute
Vehicles: Bike Squad - Chaos Land Raider (Land Raider Hades Diabolus) - Infernal Relic Predator
Kratos Heavy Assault Tank - Mastodon - Predator Tank - Rhino Transport - Sicaran Battle Tank
Stalk Tank - Vindicator - Typhon Heavy Siege Tank - Spartan Assault Tank - Rapier Armoured Carrier
Whirlwind Scorpius - Termite - Cerberus Destroyer - Fellblade
Flyers: Harbinger - Hell Blade - Hell Talon - Fire Raptor
Storm Eagle - Xiphon Interceptor - Thunderhawk - Stormbird
Spacecraft: Dreadclaw Assault Pod - Kharybdis - Doomfire Bomber - Swiftdeath Fighter
Titans: Daemon Knights - Chaos Emperor Titan - Feral Scout Titan
Ravager Battle Titan - Chaos Warlord Titan - Woe Machine
Unaligned
Daemon Engines:
Decimator - Defiler - Death Wheel - Forgefiend - Heldrake
Maulerfiend - Soul Grinder - Wirewolf - Venomcrawler - Helstalker
Daemon Engines
of Khorne:
Blood Reaper - Blood Slaughterer - Brass Scorpion - Cauldron of Blood - Death Dealer
Doom Blaster - Kytan - Lord of Skulls - Skull Reaper - Tower of Skulls
Daemon Engines
of Nurgle:
Blight Drone - Contagion - Foetid Bloat-Drone - Myphitic Blight-Hauler
Nurgle Plague Tower - Plague Hulk - Plagueburst Crawler
Daemon Engines
of Slaanesh:
Hell-Scourge - Hell-Knight - Hell-Strider
Questor Scout Titan - Slaanesh Subjugator
Daemon Engines
of Tzeentch:
Aether Ray - Doom Wing - Fire Lord of Tzeentch
Mirrorfiend - Silver Tower of Tzeentch - The Auruntaur
Auxiliaries: Chaos Daemons - Death Guard - Thousand Sons - Emperor's Children - World Eaters - Fallen Angels