Bear Lore

We're not even making this shit up.

What's that? A large, furry, aggressive animal has just interrupted your party? BEAR LORE TIME!

The Bear Lore meme started right when the 4th edition core books were leaked online. After paging through them, someone found a chart for "bear lore" which had dc checks to find out stupefyingly obvious things about bears. Someone posted this on /tg/ and there were many lulz to be had as people continued to talk about what else there is to learn about bears, among other things. The meme originated here: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/1839136/

Nature Check

A character knows the following information with a successful Nature Check:

• DC15: Cave bears live in caves.

• DC20: Dire bears like to attack with their natural weapons.

For the same DC regarding manticores, you get to know it has 3 rows of teeth and that it can speak common and that it can be tricked easily.

Religion Check

Alternatively, a Religion check on bears provides the following:

• DC15: Bears do not attend any continuous services of worship. They are ready to kill at all hours of the week.

• DC20: They mysteriously vanish every winter, perhaps to give reverence to their perverse fertility goddess while gorging on the souls of men lost to famine.

• DC25: Bear society has no visibly ordained clerics.

• DC35: SHIT, NEVERMIND, THEY HAVE THEM, RUN.

Other Lore

Bee Lore

A character knows the following information with a successful Nature check.

• DC15: Bees generally live in hives or trees.

• DC20: NO!! NOT THE BEES! NOT THE BEES!!! AAGGH!!! THEY'RE IN MY EYES! AAAGGGGHHH!!1!

• DC25: I'M COVERED IN BEEEEEEES!!!!!!!!! (-10 to all seduction checks)

• DC35: It’s hip to FUCK BEES (+15 to all bee seduction checks)

Fire Lore

A character knows the following information with a successful Nature check.

• DC10: Fire is hot.

• DC15: Fire cannot go through walls. It's not ghosts, stupid.

• DC20: Only YOU can prevent forest fires.

• DC25: If you were smart enough not to touch fire, you'd not NEED the stop-drop-roll info, and if you touched the fire, it's too late to make that check now. Enjoy burning to death!

• DC30: IT'S FUCKIN' HOT IN HERE.

• DC35: The fire rises.

• DC 40: We didn't start the fire.

Water Lore

A character knows the following information with a successful Nature check.

• DC10: Pyros don't like water.

• DC15: Ice water is cold.

• DC20: You can drink water.

• DC25: Humans might not be able to use it to breathe.

Fuzzy Wozzie Lore

A character knows the following information with a successful Meme check.

• DC15: Fuzzy Wozzie was a bear.

• DC20: Fuzzy Wozzie had no hair.

• DC25: Fuzzy Wozzie wasn't fuzzy was he?

Cliff Lore

A character knows the following information with a successful Geography check.

• DC15: Cliffs usually live at the edge of things.

• DC20: If you walk off a cliff, you will be hurt.

• DC25: All of the gods know that 4th edition sucks and urge you to jump and end it all.

Spy Lore

A character knows the following information with a successful /v/ check.

• DC15: The knife in your back was placed by a Spy.

• DC20: GENTLEMEN.

• DC25: That's your blood on his suit.

• DC35: I was a Spy all along.

• DC40: He never really was on our side.

• DC45: The best Spy is a dead one.

• DC50: NEVERMIND, HE'S GOT A DEAD-RINGER.

• DC60: Hail Hydra.

Human Lore

• DC10: They are squishy.

• DC20: They're bastards most of the time.

• DC30: HOLY SWINGING FUCK, THEY LIVE IN CITIES?

Heavy Lore

A character knows the following information with a successful /v/ check.

• DC15: Sandvich.

• DC20: Heavies hate Scouts.

• DC25: Heavies love Medics.

• DC30: Heavy has a minigun.

• DC35: Minigun kills Scouts dead.

• DC40: Heavy eats Sandvich.

Creed Lore

Wait, there's no such lore, how did this one- CREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED!!!

Pyro Lore

A character knows the following information with a successful /v/ check.

• DC20: Pyros hate spies.

• DC25: Pyro has a flamethrower.

• DC30: Flamethrower kills spies dead.

• DC40: Pyros like Fire. Brush up on your Fire Lore.

Dark Lore

A character knows the following information with a successful Nature check.

• DC10: It's dark in here.

• DC15: You may be eaten by a grue.

• DC20: OM NOM NOM NOM NOM.

• DC25: Shoulda brought a candle.

• DC30: Dark congregates around Grim.

• DC45: SHIIIIIT! I MUST GET OUT OF HERE!

Scout Lore

A character already knows this information because this guy can't keep his trap shut. Roll anyways

• DC10: He's not even winded.

• DC15: He ran fast and died a virgin.

• DC20: BONK!

• DC25: He's a force a' nature.

• DC30: If you were from where he was from, you'd be fucking dead.

• DC35: NEEDADISPENSAHHEAH!!!

Tzeentch Lore

A character cannot know the following information.

• DC10: Tzeentch likes birds.

• DC20: Tzeentch makes plans.

• DC25: Just as planned.

• DC30: Just as planned.

• DC35: These dice are loaded, and will roll exactly what Tzeentch wants you to roll.

• DC99: Just as planned.

Engineer Lore

A character knows the following information with a successful Science check.

• DC10: Nope.avi

• DC15: A Spy's sappin' his Sentry!

• DC20: His Dispenser's goin' up.

• DC25: Engineer is makin' bacon.

• DC30: Engineer uses more gun.

• DC35: Sometimes you just need a little less gun.

Box Lore

A character knows the following information with a successful Knowledge check.

• DC 10: Enemies favor metal boxes for concealment.

• DC 20: Particularly foolish and cowardly enemies also like to hide IN MEHTAL BAWKSES.

• DC 25: To maximize combat effectiveness, take away their metal boxes.

• DC 35: SINDRIIIIIIIIII!

Medic Lore

A character knows the following information with a successful Science check.

• DC10: He is ZHE ÜBERMENSCH!

• DC15: Ribs don't grow back.

• DC20: Can you feel zhe Schadenfreude?

• DC25: He is fully charged.

• DC25: OKTOBERFEEEEEEEEST!!!

Economy Lore

A character knows the following information with a successful Business check.

• DC10: The state of the economy is excellent.

• DC15: There is a problem with Fannie Mae.

• DC20: OMG!

• DC25: You can purchase "The Republic of Iceland" on eBay for $229.99 (inc. VAT).

• DC35: Economy is a planning game. And you've lost already.

Plan Lore

• DC10: Make a Plan.

• DC15: Carry out Plan.

• DC20: ????????????

• DC25: PROFIT!

• DC99: Tzeentch made your plan, and gave it to you without you knowing about it. Just as planned.

• DC100 Wait, what happened to Tzeentch's plan... CREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED!

Nebbish Lore

A character knows the following information with a successful Neckbeard check.

• DC20: Being unknowingly nebbish is annoying.

• DC25: Being deliberately annoying is nebbish.

• DC35: GTFO!

Cat Lore

A character knows the following information with a successful Nature check.

• DC10: Ceiling cat is watching you masturbate.

• DC15: Cats eat mice.

• DC20: Cats hate you. No exceptions.

• DC35: Cats can sometimes be Girls.

• DC40: Nekos are the best cats.

Hat Lore

A character knows the following information with a successful Irish check.

• DC15: Hats live on hatracks, or people's heads.

• DC20: Hats can be used as a drinking apparatus.

• DC25: Casey wore his brand new hat to Murphy's wake last night. Someone stole his hat and, boy, it started up a fight.

• DC30: Hats, Beards, and Sweden go well together.

• DC40: Commissars wear hats. Don't tell anyo*BLAM*

• DC45: Team Fortress 2 is a game about hats.

Internet Lore

A character knows the following information with a successful Computers check.

• DC10: The internet is for porn.

• DC15: The internet is not a big truck.

• DC20: The internet is a series of tubes.

• DC35: Skynet has been born, and has sent robot killers back in time to terminate you.

• DC40: You're on the internet right now!

Doge Lore

A character knows the following information with a successful Nature check.

• DC15: Such fur

• DC20: So popular

• DC25: Very great

• DC30: Wow

Abaddon Lore

A character knows the following information with a successful Nature check.

• DC15: Abaddon is the Warmaster of Chaos.

• DC20: Abaddon has no arms.

• DC25: Abaddon is a(n) (armless) failure.

• D30: "CREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED!!!!!"

Dwarf Fortress Lore

A character knows the following information with a successful Computers check.

• DC10: Press ? to see help.

• DC15: Not /.

• DC20: This game is technically in 3D.

• DC30: The red stuff is blood.

• DC35: Blood from your most useful dwarf being shanked in the face.

• DC40: That "g" did it.

• DC60: The "g"s are goblins, and there's more of them.

• DC500: You can set up a basic military like so...

Ork lore

• DC10:WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH

• DC15: DAKKA

• DC20: STUPID BEEKIEZ

• DC25: I'Z DA BIGGEST BOSS AROUND!!!!

• DC30: EVERYONE KNOWZ GREEN IZ BEST

Chaos Spawn Lore

A character knows the following information with a successful Nature check.

DC10: Saying "Chaos Spawn" will OH SH- GRAJIRAGJEARJGEA DC20: Chaos s- those guys are created when someone either says their name, or fails their dark master DC30: Chaos Spawn are ADSAFDSARGRAAA ahem, chaos aligned

Gallery

• 

  Cave bears live in caves.

• 

  A bear and its natural weapon.

• 

  BEAR LORE: LEARN IT.

• 

  Another reason take Bear Lore as a feat.

• 

  What happens when poor spelling, neckbeards, and failed DC15 checks collide

See Also

• Bear cavalry
• Bear trap
• Angry Bear