Khorne

From 2d4chan
Revision as of 20:11, 29 September 2012 by 1d4chan>Omegalink
Jump to navigation Jump to search
This page is in need of cleanup. Srsly. It's a fucking mess.

>

Khornate Berzerkers eat Khorne flakes for breakfast to give them the energy to kill, maim, burn everything in front of them.
BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD! SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE!! - The Chant of Khorne

Khorne (Pronounced: 'corn' 'that fucking S.O.B who came up with that joke will be disemboweled with a chainaxe etc, etc") -- but also known as Kharneth, and Arnakh is the Chaos God of violence, war, battle, strength, honor, bravery, hate and rage (Used to do technology, didn't he?). He is also the world's biggest corn flake producer and likes to have BLOOD with them. He used to be about war in all its aspects, including martial honor (which still holds some relevance, he doesn't give two shits whether you kill a defenseless bitch, but if you try and make that into a sacrifice, Khorne will feel insulted and send his Bloodhounds after you. This is because Khorne only desires the skulls of worthy foes to add to his Skull Throne.), back when power was gained by hacking off people's heads with an axe and/or blasting them with a massive gun, this is usually done with the fine work of that magnificent bastard, and tactical genius. Then Gav Thorpe went and assraped the Chaos codex. Now Khorne's just a loony who likes killing everything (though the Black Crusade RPG goes some way to reversing this trend as they try to make some of the forces of Chaos more complex and sympathetic), though it has been said that he sends his bloodhounds after anyone who harms the innocent. Khârn is one of Khorne's champions, and despite everything he's pretty fun to be around. Khorne's followers are often characterized by a two dimensional love of tearing shit up and being overcome with blood lust.

It has never really been satisfactorily explained why pretty much everyone in both the Fantasy and 40k settings who goes into a beserker rage (I'm looking at YOU blood angels) isn't accused of falling to chaos when anyone who starts looking a bit pimp is burned for worshiping slaanesh. Then again, nowadays slaanesh is the only chaos god anyone seems to give two shits about anyway.

Khorne was said to have originated during the Crusades. However, since hyoomanz aren't the only things that are sentient, there is some speculation as to the truth of this (the war in heaven makes more sense) Chaos didn't exist back then. The warp was too peaceful.

Khorne loathes Slaanesh, as Slaanesh is about living it up, while Khorne is about TEARING IT THE FUCK DOWN. Evidence supports Khorne being tsundere for Slaanesh, as once the Lord of Excess gave the Blood God a cup, and ever since he has EXPLODED IT WITH HATE only to pick it back up and try and put it back together. WHEN I HAVE REMOVED THE WRITER'S EMPTY HEAD FROM HIS SHOULDERS, KHORNE WILL SUBJECT HIM TO UNPARALLELED SUFFERING FOR HIS BLASPHEMY!!!

In Warhammer Fantasy, Khorne has a personal sex slave called Valkia the Bloody. Valkia and Khorne's sickfuckery begins when the aforementioned ugly bitch somehow defeated a greater daemon in single combat fair and square... although admittedly, it was a Keeper of Secrets, so it doesn't really count. Valkia then tried to deliver it's head to Khorne. Because whatever steroids she used to cheat during that fight wore off, she died in the Realm of Chaos Which is so disappointing because, what, so many people have gone to the Realm of Chaos and met the Chaos gods? I can name two: that guy that wrote the Liber Malefic (and he only survived because the Chaos gods thought making him insane was funny) and Oxyotl, who was a fuckawesome Skink sniper. Ahem. Pardon this interruption. Just needed to prove Valkia was actually pretty badass. Anyways, Khorne, needing some evidence to prove that he wasn't gay (given his preference for massive, hairy, muscular old men in heavy armor as his champions and his brief yet lustful affair with Billy Mays), took the bitch as his personal BDSM sex slave. The rest, as they say, is history.

Oh yeah, and Valkia has a book now! AND READ IT YOU WEAKASS PILES OF FLESH AND FAT! READ IT AND BE FILLED WITH RAGE!

PRAISE THE EMPEROR. READING FURTHER IS heresy. PREPARE TO BE EXECUTED. Daemon Prince BONECRUSHER hates faggotrocious commissars who think they have any power here. The offending commissar has thus been brutally executed.

Fun Khorne facts

In the grim darkness of the far future, there is still time for tea....
  • Khorne is the only being in canon who will always win. Anytime anyone gets angry? (all the fucking time in the grimderp universe) He wins. Anytime anyone kill someone else? (even more likely) He fucking wins. Given that he doesn't give a damn who's doing the killing or dying, it could be argued that EVERYONE (except that Kaldor Draigo fuck who has the blessing of Your Spiritual Liege) inadvertently is worshiping Khorne. It's right there at the tagline: In the grim darkness of the far future there is only WAR. Just as Planned...
  • Khorne the most powerful being in the canon, capable of GETTING SHIT DONE on a level undreamed by most of the other chaos gods(it is disputed that Tzeentch can get more done with his crazy future seeing shit, but everyone agrees that Khorne is the most direct, generally Chaos Books flip flops over whether Khorne or Tzeentch is the most powerful. So we'll just go ahead and say that like Gork and Mork they're equally powerful but Khorne is direct while Tzeentch is tricksy). The only thing he is unable to accomplish, regrettably, is overcome Games Worskhop's unwillingness to move the plot forward.
  • His tongues of Chaos name is Kharneth, and I suppose it still is. Khorne really hates it when people use that name and kills anyone who utters it in his presence.
  • In truth, the Angry Marines are about as Khornate as Khorne flakes. LIEZ! They eat it every day! Which is why they were Exterminatus'd for being heretics.*BLAM* HERES....*GWAK* FUCK YOU I'M A GOD! *CHOP, REND, TEAR, PAINFUL SCREAMING*
  • Khorne wears rings made from the skulls of usurper war gods on his hands.
  • Khorne is the strongest Chaos God, and also the first to become sentient (although Nurgle is the oldest). He became self-aware during that orgy of violence that was the Mongol Invasions, and he probably turned Genghis Khan into Doombreed.
  • Khorne's right hand man is Doombreed (who is Genghis Khan in Daemon Prince form), mightiest and oldest of all his servants. Angron, strongest of the Daemon Primarchs can't hold a candle to Doombreed. Doombreed launched the 5th Black Crusade which to date is the only somewhat successful one, Doombreed essentially declared war on the Adeptus Astartes and wiped out two chapters, though this still falls well short of it's goal of wiping out all one thousand chapters and every faction in the game has wiped out at least one chapter. Still, it's infinitely more than that armless failure has accomplished.
  • Khorne's left hand man is An'ggrath, who is the mightiest of the Greater Daemons and will remain so until Forge World finally makes Tzeentch's 999 point Greater Daemon Well with the discovery of Aetaos Rau'Keres, greatest of the lords of change, it seems that An'ggrath has lost his title. An'ggrath has only been in the materium twice but each time he entered it he did a shit load of damage. An'ggrath and Angron are tied for the second generally angriest beings in the universe after Commissar Fuklaw. (Khorne can experience things other than rage and can experience things like being pleased or satisfied so he's not the generally angriest, but when he gets angry, he gets really angry.)
  • Khorne does it for the lulz.(Lul is Dutch for dick.)(The Dutch are scum.) (We know. Lul.)
  • His sacred number is eight.
  • KHORNE ORDERS YE TO SLAY!!!
  • It is a well known fact that the two Bush people worshiped Khorne, as did JFK. Andrew Jackson worships Khorne you fucking faggot. How else do you describe a man who after slaughtering hundreds of people in duels for no reason laments that he did not kill enough people? Only Andrew Jackson, the ballsiest 'Murican ever is even slightly worthy of worshipping Khorne.Andrew Jackson only ever killed one man in his thirteen duels. Mind you, that was AFTER he allowed said man to shoot him in the chest first... His last regrets were indeed that he regretted not killing two other men though.
  • He once decided to troll humans for more than consecutive 5 seconds. The result was WW2.
  • He farted 500 miles under Haiti. I think we all know what happened next.
  • Khorne's favorite music is CLASSIC METAL!!!
  • Khorne is best buddies with Nurgle KHARN
  • Khorne likes Nurgle because of his cooking and they are often seen working together at the annual Warp Cook-off. This is because Nurgle is the only Chaos God that cooks nice shit... Even if what he cooks has bits of his own intestine mixed in.
  • Khorne beat the Empra in an arm wrestling match.*SCREAMS OF CENSOR MARINES HEARD* FUCK YOU ASSHOLES! I'M A GOD!!
  • Khaela Mensha Khaine is Khorne's bitch and Khaine owes Khorne big time because Khorne saved Khaine's ass from being violated by Slaanesh. But Khorne is still trying to figure out how to get Khaine to pay the money he owes him since Khaine is kind of...broken.
  • The Nightbringer is Khorne's bitch. ...We'll seeee about thattt one. Youu'rrre just violence, I'M MOTHERFUCKING DEATH INCARNATE No, you seriously aren't. FUCK YOU!!!!!!! YOU HOMOSEXUAL EGYPTIAN EMO GOTH COCKSUCKING PANSY!! I ACTUALLY AM A GOD!! UNLIKE YOU, YOU MOPEY PIECE OF DICK!! AND YOU GOT YOUR FAGGOT ASS HANDED TO YOU BY THE WIMP KHAINE, WHO IN TURN WAS BUTTFUCKED BY THAT SINGLE-TESTICLED TWAT SLAANESH! GGGGRRRRRAAAAAAAGGH!!!!!!!! *TEARS THE NIGHTBRINGER A NEW ASS* DOH HO I GUESS YOU OUGHTA BE CALLED THE GOD OF MAD BUTTHURT- SPILL ALL THE BLOOD YOU WANT, I'LL BE AROUND LONG AFTER YOU AND YOUR EQUALLY 2 DIMENSIONAL FANTARDS ARE DEAD GO AND CUT YOUR WRISTS WHILE CRYING ON HOW THE DECEIVER REJECTS YOUR HOMOSEXUAL ADVANCES YOU CUNT. OH, AND MY FANS? HEY, WHAT ARE YOUR NECRON SHITS AGAIN?! OH YEAH, HOMICIDAL ROBOTS WITH NO FUCKING PERSONALITY. JUST LIKE YOU. YOU FUCKING C'TANS ARE THE WORST THING TO EVER BE SHAT UPON THIS FRANCHISE, AND YOUR FLUFFS BEEN WRITTEN BY THAT BEARDED CONCUBINE OF ROWBOAT GIRLYMAN, YOU KNOW IT'S FUCKING TRUE. NOW GO AND RUN BACK TO THE PIT YOU CRAWLED OUT OF AND RETURN TO YOUR GOTHTARD POETRY WRITING. *RIPS THE NIGHTBRINGER'S HEAD OFF*ACTUALLY ON SECOND THOUGHT ANYONE WHO CAN BEAT UP SLAANESH IS KIND OF OKAY IN MY BOOK. BUT WEAR A SHIRT FOR FUCK'S SAKE!
  • The Empra, too, is Khorne's bitch. BLAM HERESY!!! *HORRENDOUS SCREAMS, BLOOD AND GUTS FLYING EVERYWHERE* I SAID I DON'T FUCKING WANT YOU COCKSUCKERS ON MY FUCKING PAGE!!! I'M GOING TO TEAR YOUR BLOODY ASS 5 NEW FUCKING HOLES!
  • Gork is Khorne's bitch. (That's not true! THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!!!) Search your feelings you know it to be true. Despite what the canon says.
  • Warhammer Fantasy Battle Khorne is Warhammer 40k Khorne's bitch.
  • Warhammer 40,000 Khorne punched that faggoty midget Matt Ward in the face for making his Warhammer Fantasy Battle counterpart befriend Slaanesh in the Daemons of Chaos Codex. He then kicked his fake-ass doppelganger in the face and told him WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!?! YOU HAVE SORCERERS WHO DON'T EARN THEIR KEEP WITH BADASS FUCKING VOICE ACTING!! YOU'VE BEFRIENDED SLAANESH THE ETERNAL COCKSUCKER!! WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY THAT YOU ARE ME!?! NO FUCK THAT YOU ARE A FUCKING DISGRACE!!!! DDDDDDDIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEE!!!! *CHOP REND TEAR ON A SCALE NEVER SEEN BEFORE OR SINCE*
  • Khorne wants to punch GW in the face for fucking up both 4th edition Chaos Codexes.
  • KHORNE CARES NOT FROM WHENCE THE BLOOD FLOWS, ONLY THAT IT FLOWS! (does Khorne like menstruating women lots, in this case?) NO!!! THEY SHOULD BE OUT THERE KILLING SOMETHING!!!!!
  • Khorne killed Gork with His thumb and forced Mork to watch, and subsequently ripped out Gork's skull and beat Mork to death with it.WRONG! KHORNE RIPPED OUT MORK'S SKULL AND BEAT HIM TO DEATH WITH IT! That doesn't even seem physically possible!!! That's what Mork kept screaming FUCK YOU! I'M A FUCKING GOD!!! (We see what you did thar)
  • Commissar Yarrick is Khorne's favorite punching bag. Khorne already got one of his Champions of kill off Ghazgkhull, but Yarrick wont call Khorne out on it because Yarrick's scared shitless of Khorne.
  • Khorne is Tzeentch's favorite victim for hijinks because Khorne is very easy to string along.
  • Khorne cares a lot for his armor and is pissed beyond chaotic recognition if it gets damaged. A bloodthirster named Skarbrand who was then the strongest Bloodthirster ever turned on him and put a chink on Khorne's armor as he Tzeentch told him that he was strong enough to take Khorne's place, ended up being beaten shitless which caused the Bloodthirster to go mad, thrown by Khorne himself out of his lair, flew for several days from the throw and eventually crashed down, ripping his wings off, ironically Skarbrand served Khorne better as an insane renegade than he ever did when he was loyal by killing way, way more people than he ever had before. Khorne made a bigger and even stronger bloodthirster named An'ggrath to take Skarbrand's place but never lets them meet, because he plans to have them fight to the death only after every last thing in the universe has been slaughtered in His name.
  • Khorne is rumored to listen to Elton John. *Let us simply say that we cannot fully describe in any fashion, even a fraction of the horror and brutality of what the Mighty Khorne deals out to this weakling dog* OH? WHAT'S THAT YOU COCKSUCKING FAGGOT?!!! YOU'RE SORRY, AYE?! YOU FUCKING THINK YOU CAN COME HERE, TO MY FUCKING PAGE ON THIS SHIT WEBSITE AND SAY THAT ABOUT ME?! HEY, CUNT, YOU SEE THE BLOODY MESS I MADE OF MY FANTASY BATTLE VERSION! THAT AIN'T A MOTHERFUCKING FIFTH OF WHAT I AM GONNA DO TO YOU. FUCK YOU, BITCH!!!
  • Fucking bitches is for the Lord of Excess, so is excessive posting and fanwankery. Khorne would like his page simpler, with less words and more blood. More blood and rage.
  • Khorne once visited the Forgotten Realms, when he left that place the result was bloody mess that is 4e's suck ass version of the forgotten realms. He really, really hated everyone in the setting after meeting one too many Drizz't clones. You don't want to know what he did to Drizzit himself, you just don't.
  • Khorne is ok with magic, so long as it isn't used as a primary means of killing. That's just cowardly. However, he fully supports the use of blood magic, which he invented in order to beat Tzeentch at his own game.
  • Khorne is pleased that the new voice acting for his Chaos Lord is now deeper and angrier instead of the comedically high-pitched angsty voice from chaos rising. The Wrath of Khorne hath been averted... for now.
  • Everyone who calls Khorne as "corn", or any other variation, will be raped with a chainsaw, eviscerated and made Khorne's slut in the afterlife even though Khorne thinks that Sex is for Slaaneshi pussies.. That includes you too, BITCH!!!
  • Khorne knows about timed hits.
  • To counter Tzeentch's games of paradox poker with the Emprah, the Deceiver, and Cegorach; Khorne now holds angry/drinking (or perhaps angry drinking) contests with Commissar Fuklaw, Gork, and Khaine every Saturday night. Like Paradox poker, each time these games are played, the pocket dimension in which they are held in collapse due to being unable to hold that much RAAAAEEEGGG! thus nobody ever wins.
  • It's confirmed, Khorne does listen to Elton John. Tzeentch has the video evidence NO HE DOESN'T!!! *REND AND TEAR*
  • Aside from being a master of war and bloodshed, Khorne seems to have other less violent hobbies. He is well known through the realm of Chaos for his undefeated title in the yearly Chaos BBQ Cook-Off, he won the judges over this past year with a wonderful pulled guardsmen sandwich with a side of his patented Khorne-On-The-Cob. His secret is using Abaddon's arms for tenderizing.
  • Khorne once tried to beat up Cegorach for being too big of a dick; but when Khorne tried to find Cegorach in the webway, all he found was a small note that said "Y halo thar khorne, I gotz a surprise fer ya!" With that, the note exploded into an unending ocean of confetti, snake in a cans, and floppy clown shoes. After this incident, Khorne hates all surprises with a passion. He then subsequently found Cegorach and shoved that confetti up his ass. Since then, Khorne has discovered a tremendous love for confetti, whereas Ceg seems to avoiding it now.
  • Having killed his Warhammer Fantasy self, 40K Khorne has now taken care to govern his Fantasy followers. He has now come to prefer them over his Marines, seeing as they are the best fighters in their setting unlike the Chaos marines despite that latter being superhuman before gainng the powers of Chaos, and generally holds Arbaal in higher esteem than Khârn. He also commanded them to kill their sorcerers in His name. Thus cleansing Warhammer Fantasy of C.S Goto's vile influence.
  • It is official, Khorne looks like a giant Khornate Chaos Knight, completely clad in red armor.The only chaos god who actually looks like their greater daemons is Nurgle, so get over it newbs. Unlike Tzeentch and Slaanesh, Khorne and Nurgle aren't fickle fucks who feel the need to look different to every person who looks at them.
  • Khorne shared an most excellent fist pump with the Nightbringer after he lopped off Slaanesh's left bewb, and shared a three way fist pump with the Nightbringer and Cegorach after Cegorach gave Slaanesh a book (disguised as the latest issue of playboy) that contained among other things, Doombreed, Khârn, An'ggrath, and Angron on the first page, all of whom leapt out and beat the shit out of Slaanesh, and the Nightbringer on the second page who cut off Slaanesh's dick and carved a vagina where it used to be, thus making Slaanesh entirely female and invalidating her title of Prince of Pleasure. Khorne provided the Daemons and one Champion, The Nightbringer provided the scythe, and Cegorach provided the plan. The three have now added MorkGork to their group to form the God Mafia, a group dedicated for beating the everloving shit out of everyone they don't like.
  • It is also little known fact that Khorne's name is not pronounced as "corn". It is pronounced as "That piece of shit who came up with that joke will get raped with a chainsaw and having his intestines fed to him". Seriously though, it is pronounced like horn. Corn sounds much more badass than (Cor-nay) There are some people who put slight emphasis on the 'h' in order to differentiate the words.The K is silent.
  • Khorne invented all the martial arts used in Fist of the North Star so that the azns could learn to be manly and spill blood in His name. However, they continued their moralfaggotry and Khorne judged them unworthy. He was, however, pleased by the blood spilled during the animated series of FoTNS.
  • Despite his status as the God of War and Killing, Khorne has repeatedly stressed a need for the Chaos Gods to conduct themselves with honor and dignity. As well as he stresses to his followers a need to adopt a stronger moral compass. To this effect, he also vigorously campaigns against sexual and moral indecencies of the non violent slant.
  • Khorne is very pissed off that Drawfags keep giving him and other Gods Daemonette rip offs. His rant while mercilessly killing them was as follows; "YOU PUSSY LICKING CHICKEN-LIVERED GRISTLE PISSING HOMOSEXUALS!!! I'LL KILL YOU!!!! I'LL! KILL! YOU! ALL!! GRAAAAAAAAAGHHH!!!! GIVE ME A FUCKING DAEMONETTE LIKE THAT ASS LICKER SLAAANESH!? FUCK NO! DIE! OH? WHAT'S THAT? YOU DON'T WANT WARBRINGER SHOVED UP YOUR ASS?! FUCK YOU!!!" *proceeds to crucify the drawfags and kill their families and general loved ones in front of them**Draws another Khornate Daemonette in defiance* *This person died in an explosion of gore caused by the Blood God punching him in the face.*
  • Khorne is starring the in the movie "Khorne and Khârn go to Whitecastle", and it will be glorious. HOW DARE YOU INSINUATE THAT I WOULD WASTE MY TIME FEASTING AFTER INGESTING COPIOUS AMOUNTS OF NARCOTICS! DO NOT TAKE ME AS ONE OF THE SLAANESHI PUSSIES! *Hacks poster to bits and smokes his carcass* But we slaughtered those cows just so you could feast upon thousands of those mini-burgers, we spill blood so you could have a good meal....ungrateful bastard, Matt Ward must have re-written the blood god's persona. Entire movie consists of three seconds in a car, 89 minutes, 57 seconds of slaughter, then credits roll.
  • Khorne is the father of Chuck Norris. Daemon Prince Bonecrusher hates Chuck Norris Jokes and has thus pulled the intestines of the offending editor out through his throat and shoved them back up his ass
  • Khorne plays incredibly violent video games. Particularly God of War and Mortal Kombat. He likes Shao Kahn's sense of style, but still likes his own doing better. When this would come to question he would say I did it maaaaaaaay waaay. He also asked Shao Kahn to hire Kintaro as an army general for a while paying the emperor in return with something. Kahn said he liked the idea if the payment was seeing Jehovah getting his pathetic homophobic ass beat up by Khorne personally. He said he wanted to do it himself, but since the cowardly god was hiding in Earthrealm Kahn couldn't reach him. Khorne said in return he would think of it.
  • Khorne enjoys playing Chess. If only for the implied violence involved. In fact, it is well known that when Khorne and Tzeentch play chess, their pieces get up and move when the two gods tell them to, and Khorne's pieces violently eviscerate Tzeentch's whenever he takes it. This makes him a very aggressive chess player.
  • Khorne mourned the death of Osama Bin Laden. And swore, with manly tears of RAGE streaming down his face, that he would avenge the freedom fighter's death. Lulz. LIES!!! I JUST BROUGHT HIM BACK TO LIFE, TURNED HIM INTO A TRANSFORMERS, AND NOW HE'S DESTROYING CHICAGO WITH THE DARK OF THE MOON!!! I DO NOT CRY OR EXPRESS SADNESS!!! BECAUSE I DON'T GET SAD YOU COCKSUCKING ATROCIOUS PILE OF FAGGOTY ASS SHIT!!! THERE IS ONLY MOTHERFUCKING RAGE AND HATE IN MY HEAD!!! *CHOP REND TEAR*
  • Khorne prefers his beer to be brewed from the blood, sweat, and tears of Space Marines, Inquisitors, Sorcerors, and furries.
  • Don't ask what Khorne does to hippies. Just don't.
  • One of Khorne's favorite movies is Godzilla: Final Wars. And, obviously, he didn't much care for the American Godzilla movie that came out in 1998. YOU'RE DAMNED RIGHT I DON'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT THAT TUNA FISH EATING COCKSUCKING PILE OF FUCKING ATROCIOUS SHIT!!!
  • It is well known that Khorne jacks off to guro. LIES I DO NOT MASTERBATE!!! I CAN ONLY FEEL HATE AND RAGE!!! ONLY COCKSUCKERS LIKE SLAANESH ARE BIG ENOUGH LOSERS TO JACK OFF!!! *CHOP REND TEAR!!!*
  • This article has a rather silly amount of editing. FUCK YOU!!! *RIP AND TEAR!!!*
  • Khorne then brought Bonecrusher back to life as Warhammer's first mechanical Daemon Prince because of Bonecrusher's raw seething hatred for anything and everything. Bonecrusher hates being woken up while he's sleeping with the fishes. Sadly, Bonecrusher was recently destroyed for good by Grimlock due to the latter wielding a daemon killing weapon in the form of the Infinity+1 Sword of Plot Advancement. Khrone has since then attempted to recruit Grimlock into his ranks, with no success, though since Grimlock tends to leave a path of destruction whereever he goes, Khornes doesn't particularly care.
  • THIS PAGE HAS BEEN MARKED HERETICUS FOR KHORNATE TAINT. PLEASE REPORT TO YOUR NEAREST MORALE OFFICER FOR PUNISHMENT. Daemon Prince BONECRUSHER hates faggots who can't get their strike throughs right. He has thus eviscerated the offending commissar, you may now continue brown nosing up to Khorne.
  • I think that Khorne is a pretty cool guy. Eh is the strongest being in the canon and doesn't afraid of anything.
  • It is rumoured that Khorne collects Take That memorabilia.
  • When Khorne went through puberty, it is said the Warp pissed itself in fear.
  • When Khorne dreams, entire planets are suddenly drowned in blood, Orks, Khornate Knights, Sisters of Battle, World Eaters, and skub.
  • A common misconception is that Khorne is incapable of amusement. There was a legendary incident in which Berserkers of Khorne and Rubric Marines, both working under the Black Legion flag, momentarily put aside their differences and fell upon the forces of the Flawless Host in a wholly unprecedented massacre that embroiled an entire world. The assault culminated in the Sorcerers of Tzeentch opening a massive rift in warp-space that the Berserkers then drove the terrified Slaaneshi marines into - the warp rift leading directly to the scalding sea of blood at one of the Daemon Worlds a World Eaters warband called home. The assault was so successful and the carnage so amusing to the blood god that his followers allowed the Tzeenchian marines to leave the world before they continued to rampage across the planet, slaughtering all they beheld. Due to the Tzeentchian marines spreading the tale, the incident has become well-known and is to this day the world they rampaged across bears the scars of the tread of the Blood God.
  • Khorne's favourite characters from the Song of Ice and Fire series are; none. 'Cause Khorne thinks reading is for weaklings.
  • Kaldor Draigo once made his way to Khorne's throne and attacked the Blood God directly. Khorne didn't notice the assault nor the Grey Knight flailing away on his armored boot until he decided to get up and check in on what shenannigans Kharn had gotten himself into this week. The Blood God did not take notice of the fact that his boot brushing Draigo hurled Kaldor into the middle distance, where he screamed profanities as streams of warp-energy grabbed the Grey Knight and hurled him into the sea of blood, leading the Blood god to win by default.
  • The blood god swung his mighty axe, the mortal parries. Sly Marbo attacked with renewed fury, and both were evenly matched. The most glorious battle in the history of the Imperium was unfolding. The pair fought with a level of titanic force on par with the stars themselves. The blood god unleashed a flurry of blows. Sly Marbo stepped to the right. Khorne roared and brount down his weapon with the strength of 1 million Carnifexes. Sly Marbo blocked, but the axe cleaved straight through his Catachan knife. A large rip in his chest, Sly Marbo sank to the ground. Khorne could not help but grin a hideous grin. He had finally vanquished Chaos' most deadly foe. He who had slain hundreds of lords of change, he who had bound Slaanesh to his service, he who had turned Daemonette Nurgle into a fat blob. But something wasn't right. Khorne looked at Sly Marbo's corpse. The guardsman had a grin on his face. Also the grimy surface of his skin, the billowing smokestacks, Marbo was a Leman Russ Demolisher! There was a note attached to it, and it read: 'Better luck next time! - Sly'. The blood god bellowed with fury. How was this even possible? It would have taken some sort of tactical genius to--------CREEEEEEEEEEEEEED!!!!!!!!!!!!! This Sly Marbo shit has to end. Shit? Let's see you put so much awesome in one anecdote!
  • Khorne is also the God of Skub. DIE SKUBFAGS!!! *RIP AND TEAR
  • It is rumored that Khorne like my little ponie and that he violently murdurs those who make fun of it. YOU FUCKING THINK ME AS A FUCKING PONY LOVER?!I WILL TEAR YOUR INTESTINES FROM YOUR ASS AND SHOVE THEM BACK THROUGH YOUR FUCKING THROAT!!!
  • Khorne loves vikings
  • Khorne hates all eldar, every single one (ESPECIALLY Eldrad)
  • Khorne occasionally strings the intestines of people his demons have slain over his axe, and plays it like a guitar. If its out of tune, he throws it at a planet, causing the planet to explode in a huge mass of blood, fire, skulls and death metal awesomeness
  • Khorne enjoys having breakfast with the Ultrasmurfs. He just loves the taste of their power armors.
  • Khorne once tried making friends with Asura, who instead rudely called Khorne a terrible blight on existance and punched his teeth out. Khorne is eager for re-match, feeling that if he wins, he's vanquished a worthy foe that gave him a worth battle. If he loses, then he's had a good run and gets die like a true viking, and knows that whatever smirks Slaanesh and Tzeentch have on their faces won't last for long because Asura will come for them next.
  • Khorne is a huge Bruce Lee fan and shed manly tears during his death. Khorne has since then tried making a perfect clone of him. Failed attempts have led to the creation of Kenshiro, Fei-Long, Liu-ka,ng and Marshal Law.
  • Khorne feels that Warhammer fans hating Iron Kingdoms for being a popular wargame that isn't Warhammer is stupid and makes him ashamed to count them among his fans. He is infact quite fond of playing Hordes and Warmachine.
  • Khorne loves the Doom comic and has made a number of attempts and at creating a movie based on it. Sadly, his followers are all terrible actors, and Khonre is a worse director than Uwe Boll.
  • Khorne is terrified of the Anti-Monitor because even though Khorne wouldn't mind being killed in one-on-one duel to the death, he loathes the idea of getting erased along with the rest of the universe by a wave of anti-matter.
  • Khorne found Crull and Carron horribly obnoxious and cheered it being rendered canon that the the former was killed by Gorgutz and hopes that the latter was blown to pieces by baneblade.

=Gallery=

  • Khorne's followers off the battlefield.

    Khorne's followers off the battlefield.

  • Waffles for the Blood God!

    Waffles for the Blood God!

  • Khorne's trainers prefer violent Pokémon.

    Khorne's trainers prefer violent Pokémon.

  • Would have been a somewhat adequate picture, had they taken the right photographs of the actual Berzerkers. Lulz.

    Would have been a somewhat adequate picture, had they taken the right photographs of the actual Berzerkers. Lulz.

  • Mark of Khorne.

    Mark of Khorne.

  • Khornette

    Khornette

  • Just as Planned. Always as Planned.

    Just as Planned. Always as Planned.

  • Khorne's 'rivalry' with Slaanesh is not what it seems...

    Khorne's 'rivalry' with Slaanesh is not what it seems...

  • Khorne wants to know why the drawfags never give them noses.

    Khorne wants to know why the drawfags never give them noses.

See also

The Chaos Gods of Warhammer 40,000 and Warhammer Fantasy
Four Main Chaos Gods: Khorne - Nurgle - Slaanesh - Tzeentch
Other Gods of Chaos: Archaon - Hashut - Horned Rat - Nuffle
Malal - Morghur - Necoho - Zuvassin
Chaos Gods of Law: Alluminas - Arianka - Solkan the Avenger
Retrieved from "http://23.235.193.55/mediawiki/index.php?title=Khorne&oldid=308599"