Khorne

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Khornate Berzerkers eat Khorne flakes for breakfast to give them the energy to kill, maim, burn everything in front of them.
BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD! SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE!! - The Chant of Khorne

Khorne (Pronounced: 'corn' 'that fucking S.O.B who came up with that joke will be disemboweled with a chainaxe etc, etc") is the Chaos God of violence, war, battle, strength, honor, bravery, hate and rage (Used to do technology, didn't he?). He is also the world's biggest corn flake producer and likes to have BLOOD with them. He used to be about war in all its aspects, including martial honor (which still holds some relevance, he doesn't give two shits whether you kill a defenseless bitch, but if you try and make that into a sacrifice, Khorne will feel insulted and send his Bloodhounds after you. This is because Khorne only desires the skulls of worthy foes to add to his Skull Throne.), back when power was gained by hacking off people's heads with an axe and/or blasting them with a massive gun, this is usually done with the fine work of that magnificent bastard, and tactical genius. Then Gav Thorpe went and assraped the Chaos codex. Now Khorne's just a loony who likes killing everything (though the Black Crusade RPG goes some way to reversing this trend as they try to make some of the forces of Chaos more complex and sympathetic), though it has been said that he sends his bloodhounds after anyone who harms the innocent. Khârn is one of Khorne's champions, and despite everything he's pretty fun to be around. Khorne's followers are often characterized by a two dimensional love of tearing shit up and being overcome with blood lust.

It has never really been satisfactorily explained why pretty much everyone in both the Fantasy and 40k settings who goes into a beserker rage (I'm looking at YOU blood angels) isn't accused of falling to chaos when anyone who starts looking a bit pimp is burned for worshiping slaanesh. Then again, nowerdays slaanesh is the only chaos god anyone seems to give two shits about anyway.

Khorne was said to have originated during the Crusades. However, since hyoomanz aren't the only things that are sentient, there is some speculation as to the truth of this (the war in heaven makes more sense).

Khorne loathes Slaanesh, as Slaanesh is about living it up, while Khorne is about TEARING IT THE FUCK DOWN. Evidence supports Khorne being tsundere for Slaanesh, as once the Lord of Excess gave the Blood God a cup, and ever since he has EXPLODED IT WITH HATE only to pick it back up and try and put it back together. WHEN I HAVE REMOVED THE WRITER'S EMPTY HEAD FROM HIS SHOULDERS, KHORNE WILL SUBJECT HIM TO UNPARALLELED SUFFERING FOR HIS BLASPHEMY!!!

In Warhammer Fantasy, Khorne has a personal sex slave called Valkia the Bloody. Valkia and Khorne's sickfuckery begins when the aforementioned ugly bitch somehow managed to "defeat" a greater daemon and tried to deliver it's head to Khorne. Because whatever steroids she used to cheat during that fight wore off, she died in the Realm of Chaos. Khorne, needing some evidence to prove that he wasn't gay (given his preference for massive, hairy, muscular old men in heavy armor as his champions and his brief yet lustful affair with Billy Mays), took the bitch as his personal BDSM sex slave. The rest, as they say, is history.

PRAISE THE EMPEROR. READING FURTHER IS heresy. PREPARE TO BE EXECUTED. Daemon Prince BONECRUSHER hates faggotrocious commissars who think they have any power here. The offending commissar has thus been brutally executed.

Fun Khorne facts

  • The chaos god Tzeentch manipulates everything Khorne does.
  • Khorne is one the most powerful being in the canon, capable of GETTING SHIT DONE on a level undreamed by most of the other chaos gods(it is disputed that Tzeentch can get more done with his crazy future seeing shit, but everyone agrees that Khorne is the most direct). The only thing he is unable to accomplish, regrettably, is overcome Games Worskhop's unwillingness to move the plot forward.
  • His tongues of Chaos name is Kharneth, and I suppose it still is. Khorne really hates it when people use that name and kills anyone who utters it in his presence.
  • In truth, the Angry Marines are about as Khornate as Khorne flakes. LIEZ! They eat it every day! Which is why they were Exterminatus'd for being heretics.*BLAM* HERES....*GWAK* FUCK YOU I'M A GOD! *CHOP, REND, TEAR, PAINFUL SCREAMING*
  • Khorne wears rings made from the skulls of usurper war gods on his hands.
  • Khorne is the strongest Chaos God, and also the first to become sentient (although Nurgle is the oldest). He became self-aware during that orgy of violence that was the Mongol Invasions, and he probably turned Genghis Khan into Doombreed.
  • Khorne's right hand man is Doombreed (who is Genghis Khan in Daemon Prince form), mightiest and oldest of all his servants. Angron, strongest of the Daemon Primarchs can't hold a candle to Doombreed. Doombreed launched the 5th Black Crusade which to date is the only somewhat successful one, Doombreed essentially declared war on the Adeptus Astartes and wiped out two chapters, though this still falls well short of it's goal of wiping out all one thousand chapters and every faction in the game has wiped out at least one chapter. Still, it's infinitely more than that armless failure has accomplished.
  • Khorne's left hand man is An'ggrath, who is the mightiest of the Greater Daemons and will remain so until Forge World finally makes Tzeentch's 999 point Greater Daemon Well with the discovery of Aetaos Rau'Keres, greatest of the lords of change, it seems that An'ggrath has lost his title. An'ggrath has only been in the materium twice but each time he entered it he did a shit load of damage. An'ggrath and Angron are tied for the second generally angriest beings in the universe after Commissar Fuklaw. (Khorne can experience things other than rage and can experience things like being pleased or satisfied so he's not the generally angriest, but when he gets angry, he gets really angry.)
  • Khorne does it for the lulz.(Lul is Dutch for dick.)(The Dutch are scum.)(We know. Lul.)
  • His sacred number is eight.
  • KHORNE ORDERS YE TO SLAY!!!
  • It is a well known fact that the two Bush people worshiped Khorne, as did JFK. Andrew Jackson worships Khorne you fucking faggot. How else do you describe a man who after slaughtering hundreds of people in duels for no reason laments that he did not kill enough people? Only Andrew Jackson, the ballsiest 'Murican ever is even slightly worthy of worshipping Khorne.Andrew Jackson only ever killed one man in his thirteen duels. Mind you, that was AFTER he allowed said man to shoot him in the chest first... His last regrets were indeed that he regretted not killing two other men though.
  • He once decided to troll humans for more than consecutive 5 seconds. The result was WW2.
  • He farted 500 miles under Haiti. I think we all know what happened next.
  • Khorne's favorite music is CLASSIC METAL!!!
  • Khorne is best buddies with Nurgle KHARN
  • Khorne likes Nurgle because of his cooking and they are often seen working together at the annual Warp Cook-off. This is because Nurgle is the only Chaos God that cooks nice shit... Even if what he cooks has bits of his own intestine mixed in.
  • Khorne beat the Empra in an arm wrestling match.*SCREAMS OF CENSOR MARINES HEARD* FUCK YOU ASSHOLES! I'M A GOD!!
  • Khaela Mensha Khaine is Khorne's bitch and Khaine owes Khorne big time because Khorne saved Khaine's ass from being violated by Slaanesh. But Khorne is still trying to figure out how to get Khaine to pay the money he owes him since Khaine is kind of...broken.
  • The Nightbringer is Khorne's bitch. ...We'll seeee about thattt one. Youu'rrre just violence, I'M MOTHERFUCKING DEATH INCARNATE No, you seriously aren't. FUCK YOU!!!!!!! YOU HOMOSEXUAL EGYPTIAN EMO GOTH COCKSUCKING PANSY!! I ACTUALLY AM A GOD!! UNLIKE YOU, YOU MOPEY PIECE OF DICK!! AND YOU GOT YOUR FAGGOT ASS HANDED TO YOU BY THE WIMP KHAINE, WHO IN TURN WAS BUTTFUCKED BY THAT SINGLE-TESTICLED TWAT SLAANESH! GGGGRRRRRAAAAAAAGGH!!!!!!!! *TEARS THE NIGHTBRINGER A NEW ASS* DOH HO I GUESS YOU OUGHTA BE CALLED THE GOD OF MAD BUTTHURT- SPILL ALL THE BLOOD YOU WANT, I'LL BE AROUND LONG AFTER YOU AND YOUR EQUALLY 2 DIMENSIONAL FANTARDS ARE DEAD GO AND CUT YOUR WRISTS WHILE CRYING ON HOW THE DECEIVER REJECTS YOUR HOMOSEXUAL ADVANCES YOU CUNT. OH, AND MY FANS? HEY, WHAT ARE YOUR NECRON SHITS AGAIN?! OH YEAH, HOMICIDAL ROBOTS WITH NO FUCKING PERSONALITY. JUST LIKE YOU. YOU FUCKING C'TANS ARE THE WORST THING TO EVER BE SHAT UPON THIS FRANCHISE, AND YOUR FLUFFS BEEN WRITTEN BY THAT BEARDED CONCUBINE OF ROWBOAT GIRLYMAN, YOU KNOW IT'S FUCKING TRUE. NOW GO AND RUN BACK TO THE PIT YOU CRAWLED OUT OF AND RETURN TO YOUR GOTHTARD POETRY WRITING. *RIPS THE NIGHTBRINGER'S HEAD OFF*}
  • The Empra too is Khorne's bitch.
  • Gork is Khorne's bitch.(that's not true. THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!!!)
  • Warhammer Fantasy Battle Khorne is Warhammer 40k Khorne's bitch.
  • Warhammer 40,000 Khorne punched that faggoty midget Matt Ward in the face for making his Warhammer Fantasy Battle counterpart befriend Slaanesh in the Daemons of Chaos Codex. He then kicked his fake-ass doppelganger in the face and told him
  • Khorne wants to punch GW in the face for fucking up both 4th edition Chaos Codexes.
  • KHORNE CARES NOT FROM WHENCE THE BLOOD FLOWS, ONLY THAT IT FLOWS! (does Khorne like menstruating women lots, in this case?)
  • Khorne killed Gork with His thumb and forced Mork to watch, and subsequently ripped out Gork's skull and beat Mork to death with it.WRONG! KHORNE RIPPED OUT MORK'S SKULL AND BEAT HIM TO DEATH WITH IT! That doesn't even seem physically possible!!! That's what Mork kept screaming FUCK YOU! I'M A FUCKING GOD!!! (We see what you did thar)
  • Commissar Yarick is Khorne's favorite punching bag. Khorne already got one of his Champions of kill off Ghazgkhull, but Yarrick wont call Khorne out on it because Yarrick's scared shitless of Khorne.
  • Khorne is Tzeentch's favorite victim for hijinks because Khorne is very easy to string along.
  • Khorne cares a lot for his armor and is pissed beyond chaotic recognition if it gets damaged. A bloodthirster named Skarbrand who was then the strongest Bloodthirster ever turned on him and put a chink on Khorne's armor as he Tzeentch told him that he was strong enough to take Khorne's place, ended up being beaten shitless which caused the Bloodthirster to go mad, thrown by Khorne himself out of his lair, flew for several days from the throw and eventually crashed down, ripping his wings off, ironically Skarbrand served Khorne better as an insane renegade than he ever did when he was loyal by killing way, way more people than he ever had before. Khorne made a bigger and even stronger bloodthirster named An'ggrath to take Skarbrand's place but never lets them meet, because he plans to have them fight to the death only after every last thing in the universe has been slaughtered in His name.
  • Khorne is rumored to listen to Elton John. *Let us simply say that we cannot fully describe in any fashion, even a fraction of the horror and brutality of what the Mighty Khorne deals out to this weakling dog* OH? WHAT'S THAT YOU COCKSUCKING FAGGOT?!!! YOU'RE SORRY, AYE?! YOU FUCKING THINK YOU CAN COME HERE, TO MY FUCKING PAGE ON THIS SHIT WEBSITE AND SAY THAT ABOUT ME?! HEY, CUNT, YOU SEE THE BLOODY MESS I MADE OF MY FANTASY BATTLE VERSION! THAT AIN'T A MOTHERFUCKING FIFTH OF WHAT I AM GONNA DO TO YOU. FUCK YOU, BITCH!!!
  • Fucking bitches is for the Lord of Excess, so is exessive posting and fanwankery. Khorne would like his page simpler, with less words and more blood. More blood and rage.
  • Khorne once visited the Forgotten Realms, when he left that place the result was bloody mess that is 4e's suck ass version of the forgotten realms. He really, really hated everyone in the setting after meeting one too many Drizz't clones. You don't want to know what he did to Drizzit himself, you just don't.
  • Khorne is pleased that the new voice acting for his Chaos Lord is now deeper and angrier instead of the comedically high-pitched angsty voice from chaos rising. The Wrath of Khorne hath been averted... for now.
  • By very nature, Khorne is self destructive. Khornite, caring not from where the blood flows and being axe crazy maniacs will, when denied an enemy for any reason kill themselves in fits of teamkilling. A notable trait of being dead is an inability to kill other people, thus meaning less blood is spilt in in his name. Ergo, Khorne is his own worst enemy and his forces suffer due to any delay.
  • Everyone who calls Khorne as "corn", or any other variation, will be raped with a chainsaw, eviscerated and made Khorne's slut in the afterlife even though Khorne thinks that Sex is for Slaaneshi pussies.. That includes you too, BITCH!!!
  • Khorne knows about timed hits.
  • To counter Tzeentch's games of paradox poker with the Emprah, the Deceiver, and Cegorach; Khorne now holds angry/drinking (or perhaps angry drinking) contests with Commissar Fuklaw, Gork, and Khaine every Saturday night. Like Paradox poker, each time these games are played, the pocket dimension in which they are held in collapse due to being unable to hold that much RAAAAEEEGGG! thus nobody ever wins.
  • It's confirmed, Khorne does listen to Elton John. Tzeentch has the video evidence NO HE DOESN'T!!! *REND AND TEAR*
  • Aside from being a master of war and bloodshed, Khorne seems to have other less violent hobbies. He is well known through the realm of Chaos for his undefeated title in the yearly Chaos BBQ Cook-Off, he won the judges over this past year with a wonderful pulled guardsmen sandwich with a side of his patented Khorne-On-The-Cob. His secret is using Abaddon's arms for tenderizing.
  • Khorne once tried to beat up Cegorach for being too big of a dick; but when Khorne tried to find Cegorach in the webway, all he found was a small note that said "Y halo thar khorne, I gotz a surprise fer ya!" With that, the note exploded into an unending ocean of confetti, snake in a cans, and floppy clown shoes. After this incident, Khorne hates all surprises with a passion. He then subsequently found Cegorach and shoved that confetti up his ass. Since then, Khorne has discovered a tremendous love for confetti, whereas Ceg seems to avoiding it now.
  • Having killed his Warhammer Fantasy self, 40K Khorne has now taken care to govern his Fantasy followers. He has now come to prefer them over his Marines and generally holds Arbaal in higher esteem than Khârn. He also commanded them to kill their sorcerers in His name. Thus cleansing Warhammer Fantasy of C.S Goto's vile influence.
  • It is official, Khorne looks like a giant Khornate Chaos Knight, completely clad in red armor. The only chaos god who actually looks like their greater daemons is Nurgle, so get over it newbs.
  • Khorne shared an most excellent fist pump with the Nightbringer after he lopped off Slaanesh's left bewb, and shared a three way fist pump with the Nightbringer and Cegorach after Cegorach gave Slaanesh a book (disguised as the latest issue of playboy) that contained among other things, Doombreed, Khârn, An'ggrath, and Angron on the first page, all of whom leapt out and beat the shit out of Slaanesh, and the Nightbringer on the second page who cut off Slaanesh's dick and carved a vagina where it used to be, thus making Slaanesh entirely female and invalidating her title of Prince of Pleasure. Khorne provided the Daemons and one Champion, The Nightbringer provided the scythe, and Cegorach provided the plan. The three have now added MorkGork to their group to form the God Mafia, a group dedicated for beating the everloving shit out of everyone they don't like.
  • It is also little known fact that Khorne's name is not pronounced as "corn". It is pronounced as "That piece of shit who came up with that joke will get raped with a chainsaw and having his intestines fed to him". Seriously though, it is pronounced like horn. Corn sounds much more badass than (Cor-nay) There are some people who put slight emphasis on the 'h' in order to differentiate the words.The K is silent.
  • Khorne invented all the martial arts used in Fist of the North Star so that the azns could learn to be manly and spill blood in His name. However, they continued their moralfaggotry and Khorne judged them unworthy. He was, however, pleased by the blood spilled during the animated series of FoTNS.
  • Despite his status as the God of War and Killing, Khorne has repeatedly stressed a need for the Chaos Gods to conduct themselves with honor and dignity. As well as he stresses to his followers a need to adopt a stronger moral compass. To this effect, he also vigorously campaigns against sexual and moral indecencies of the non violent slant.
  • Khorne is very pissed off that Drawfags keep giving him and other Gods Daemonette rip offs. His rant while mercilessly killing them was as follows; "YOU PUSSY LICKING CHICKEN-LIVERED GRISTLE PISSING HOMOSEXUALS!!! I'LL KILL YOU!!!! I'LL! KILL! YOU! ALL!! GRAAAAAAAAAGHHH!!!! GIVE ME A FUCKING DAEMONETTE LIKE THAT ASS LICKER SLAAANESH!? FUCK NO! DIE! OH? WHAT'S THAT? YOU DON'T WANT WARBRINGER SHOVED UP YOUR ASS?! FUCK YOU!!!" *proceeds to crucify the drawfags and kill their families and general loved ones in front of them**Draws another Khornate Daemonette in defiance* *This person died in an explosion of gore caused by the Blood God punching him in the face.*
  • Khorne is starring the in the movie "Khorne and Khârn go to Whitecastle", and it will be glorious. HOW DARE YOU INSINUATE THAT I WOULD WASTE MY TIME FEASTING AFTER INGESTING COPIOUS AMOUNTS OF NARCOTICS! DO NOT TAKE ME AS ONE OF THE SLAANESHI PUSSIES! *Hacks poster to bits and smokes his carcass* But we slaughtered those cows just so you could feast upon thousands of those mini-burgers, we spill blood so you could have a good meal....ungrateful bastard, Matt Ward must have re-written the blood god's persona. Entire movie consists of three seconds in a car, 89 minutes, 57 seconds of slaughter, then credits roll.
  • Khorne is the father of Chuck Norris.
  • Khorne plays incredibly violent video games. Particularly God of War and Mortal Kombat. Hell, Kratoz worships Him and Shao Kahn idolizes him. When Shao Kahn asked Khorne for his Autograph, Khorne told him to (now this is paraphrased with most of the cursing cut out) Piss off until you put on a shirt or something, you look like one of Slaanesh's cocksucking brown-nosers. And put some actual clothing on those two fucking girls of yours, you sick fuck.
  • Khorne enjoys playing Chess. If only for the implied violence involved. In fact, it is well known that when Khorne and Tzeentch play chess, their pieces get up and move when the two gods tell them to, and Khorne's pieces violently eviscerate Tzeentch's whenever he takes it. This makes him a very aggressive chess player.
  • Khorne mourned the death of Osama Bin Laden. And swore, with manly tears of RAGE streaming down his face, that he would avenge the freedom fighter's death. Lulz. LIES!!! I JUST BROUGHT HIM BACK TO LIFE, TURNED HIM INTO A TRANSFORMERS, AND NOW HE'S DESTROYING CHICAGO WITH THE DARK OF THE MOON!!! I DO NOT CRY OR EXPRESS SADNESS!!! BECAUSE I DON'T GET SAD YOU COCKSUCKING ATROCIOUS PILE OF FAGGOTY ASS SHIT!!! THERE IS ONLY MOTHERFUCKING RAGE AND HATE IN MY HEAD!!! *CHOP REND TEAR*
  • Khorne prefers his beer to be brewed from the blood, sweat, and tears of Space Marines, Inquisitors, Sorcerors, and furries.
  • Don't ask what Khorne does to hippies. Just don't.
  • One of Khorne's favorite movies is Godzilla: Final Wars. And, obviously, he didn't much care for the American Godzilla movie that came out in 1998. YOU'RE DAMNED RIGHT I DON'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT THAT TUNA FISH EATING COCKSUCKING PILE OF FUCKING ATROCIOUS SHIT!!!
  • It is well known that Khorne jacks off to guro. LIES I DO NOT MASTERBATE!!! I CAN ONLY FEEL HATE AND RAGE!!! ONLY COCKSUCKERS LIKE SLAANESH ARE BIG ENOUGH LOSERS TO JACK OFF!!! *CHOP REND TEAR!!!*
  • This article has a rather silly amount of editing. FUCK YOU!!! *RIP AND TEAR!!!*
  • Khorne's favorite transformer is Bonecrusher from the Live Action films because he hates everything and is filled with neverending amounts of rage. Bonecrusher hates fan approval. HOW DARE YOU IMPLY THAT I LIKE THAT BULLSHIT JEWISH MOVIES THAT SPAT UPON THE LEGACY OF TRANSFORMERS?! DIE!!! *CHOP! REND! TEAR!*
  • Khorne then brought Bonecrusher back to life as Warhammer's first mechanical Daemon Prince. Bonecrusher hates being woken up while he's sleeping with the fishes.
  • THIS PAGE HAS BEEN MARKED HERETICUS FOR KHORNATE TAINT. PLEASE REPORT TO YOUR NEAREST MORALE OFFICER FOR PUNISHMENT. Daemon Prince BONECRUSHER hates faggots who can't get their strike throughs right. He has thus eviscerated the offending commissar, you may now continue brown nosing up to Khorne.
  • I think that Khorne is a pretty cool guy. Eh is the strongest being in the canon and doesn't afraid of anything.
  • It is rumoured that Khorne collects Take That memorabilia.
  • When Khorne went through puberty, it is said the Warp pissed itself in fear.
  • When Khorne dreams, entire planets are suddenly drowned in blood, Orks, Khornate Knights, Sisters of Battle, World Eaters, and skub.
  • A common misconception is that Khorne is incapable of amusement. There was a legendary incident in which Berserkers of Khorne and Rubric Marines, both working under the Black Legion flag, momentarily put aside their differences and fell upon the forces of the Flawless Host in a wholly unprecedented massacre that embroiled an entire world. The assault culminated in the Sorcerers of Tzeentch opening a massive rift in warp-space that the Berserkers then drove the terrified Slaaneshi marines into - the warp rift leading directly to the scalding sea of blood at one of the Daemon Worlds a World Eaters warband called home. The assault was so successful and the carnage so amusing to the blood god that his followers allowed the Tzeenchian marines to leave the world before they continued to rampage across the planet, slaughtering all they beheld. Due to the Tzeentchian marines spreading the tale, the incident has become well-known and is to this day the world they rampaged across bears the scars of the tread of the Blood God.
  • Khorne's favourite characters from the Song of Ice and Fire series are; none. 'Cause Khorne thinks reading is for weaklings.
  • Kaldor Draigo once made his way to Khorne's throne and attacked the Blood God directly. Khorne didn't notice the assault nor the Grey Knight flailing away on his armored boot until he decided to get up and check in on what shenannigans Kharn had gotten himself into this week. The Blood God did not take notice of the fact that his boot brushing Draigo hurled Kaldor into the middle distance, where he screamed profanities as streams of warp-energy grabbed the Grey Knight and hurled him into the sea of blood, leading the Blood god to win by default.
  • Khorne is also the God of Skub. DIE SKUBFAGS!!! *RIP AND TEAR

Gallery

  • Khorne's followers off the battlefield.

    Khorne's followers off the battlefield.

  • Waffles for the Blood God!

    Waffles for the Blood God!

  • Khorne's trainers prefer violent Pokémon.

    Khorne's trainers prefer violent Pokémon.

  • Would have been a somewhat adequate picture, had they taken the right photographs of the actual Berzerkers. Lulz.

    Would have been a somewhat adequate picture, had they taken the right photographs of the actual Berzerkers. Lulz.

  • Mark of Khorne.

    Mark of Khorne.

  • Khornette

    Khornette

  • Just as Planned. Always as Planned.

    Just as Planned. Always as Planned.

See also

The Chaos Gods of Warhammer 40,000 and Warhammer Fantasy
Four Main Chaos Gods: Khorne - Nurgle - Slaanesh - Tzeentch
Other Gods of Chaos: Archaon - Hashut - Horned Rat - Nuffle
Malal - Morghur - Necoho - Zuvassin
Chaos Gods of Law: Alluminas - Arianka - Solkan the Avenger
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