Emprah Burgers
Emprah Burgers is one of the largest interstellar food franchises in the Imperium, competing with Grox Burger for domination over the munchies of mankind. I shit you not about the whole Grox Burger thing. It is believed that the chain came to power by colluding with the Mechanicus and utilizing DAoT techniques to make their cuisine less filling without inducing the runs, though apparently even the Machine God can't make it good for your pipes.
Aside from Grox Burger, Emprah Burgers' biggest competitors are McDornalds and Greater Goodburger, although Emprah Burgers also faces the constant threat of its consumers defecting to Chaos Burgers, the number one food of the traitor legions. (Other than the flesh and souls of the weak, of course).
The Copypasta[edit]
SPESS MEHREENS! TODAY, THE CUSTOMERS ARE AT OUR DOORS! WE KNOW OUR BURGERS, AND WE WILL COOK THEM! WE FRY FOR OUR HONAH AS BLUD REVENS, AS SPESS MEHREENS, AND WE FRY IN THE NAME OF THE EMPRAH!
IF WE FEHL AN ORDAH, WE WILL MAKE IT AGAIN AND GIVE A DISCOUNT! BUT WE WILL NOT FEHL, NO, IT IS THE CUSTOMER WHO WILL TASTE OUR DELICIOUS GRILLED MEAT.
AS YOU KNOW, MOST OF OUR BATTLE BURGERS ARE STORED IN SPESS, PREPARED TO DEEP FRY! OUR LARDERS HAVE BEEN PREPARED SHOULD THE CUSTOMERS BE SO BOLD AND FOOLISH TO COME BACK FOR SECONDS! WE HAVE PLACED MULTIPLE FRYCOOKS ALLOWING FOR MULTIPLE, SIMMULTANEUS DEVAHSTATING DEEP FRIES.
THE CODEX CLOGGEDARTERIES NEMES THIS MANUVAH HEART PAIN! WE WILL DESCEND UPON THE BURGAHS, WE WILL OVERWHELM THEM, WE WILL LEAVE NONE UNFRIED! MEANWHILE, OUR CASHIERS WILL ENSURE THE DEFENSE OF OUR HEADQUARTERS!
WE ARE THE SPESS MEHREENS! WE ARE THE EMPRAH'S FRYCOOKS!
Gallery[edit]
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They serve our meals in CARDBOARD BAWKSES, DA KOWARDZ! TEH FEWLZ!!
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The galaxy's biggest eaters are also the galaxy's best cooks! Who knew Tyranid Burger Bioforms tasted so deli-- GYYAAAFSGSFHFDF--
-RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIP- SCREEEE!!!!!
