Inquisitor (film)

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This article is about the live-action movie. For other things called Inquisitor, see Inquisitor.

"KRIEGER NO IT'S A TRAP! YOU'RE SHUTTING IT DOWN! UHhh..."

– Brother-Captain Darius of the Dark Angels

Inquisitor is a 1996 live-action short film (approximately 24 minutes long) about, well, an Inquisitor by the name of Krieger who intends to investigate a mysterious Warp signature in some ancient ruins, with some Dark Angels as backup. It was made to celebrate the 25th anniversary of Games Day, and came with teasers to other possible films (which were either never made or never released).

It can be found here, until Geedubs decides to shut it down because it does not shove grimderp (or any new models) down your throat.

Summary[edit]

We begin in orbit over Conaris Prime, as Captain Darius and Admiral Arteres discuss the mission that brings them there. Captain Darius apparently lent Krieger a bunch of Marines on his last expedition to this place, and only Krieger managed to escape with an artifact (obviously a painted block of wood or plastic), so he only gives Krieger five Marines, himself included, and one Drop Pod.

Darius tries to be a reasonable Marine, but circumstances unfortunately conspire against him. He appoints two of his Marines to guard the entrance to the ruins, but because they are facing outside, they get grabbed from behind by Chaos Space Marines. At the sound of bolter-fire, Darius suggests that they fall back to assist, but Krieger insists on continuing, so he sends his other two Marines to the entrance as he follows Krieger. The two other nameless Marines get to the entrance but find no trace of their brothers, and then they get killed as well. Eventually, Krieger and Darius end up in the central chamber, confronting a Khorne Berserker (a fellow by the name of "Aangra Soul Destroyer" with shockingly good dental hygiene).

Darius fights the berserker (which mostly means he whimpers in pain when Aangra shoots his hand and blows his [Darius's] pistol up), while Krieger sees an artifact similar to the one he recovered on his last trip to these ruins. He tries to take it out of its pedestal, which the Berserker tells him not to do, but Darius sees a Juggernaut poke its head through a new warp rift, realizes that the Berserker (in a shocking display of cunning for a servant of Khorne) is using reverse psychology, and yells to Krieger that "IT'S A TRAP" before resuming his whining. Krieger then puts his artifact back, which apparently re-seals the rifts. The Berserker makes some funny faces as he gets cast back into the Warp. The End!

Production[edit]

It's not quite as old as Warhammer 40,000: Rogue Trader (It was made around 1995), but it is very close, and it shows -- the CG is pretty obviously out-of-place, and because the movie was only ever released on VHS (and only that at a couple of Games Days), the visual quality isn't great. That said, the costumes and soundtrack are pretty good, though the acting wasn't much to write home about.

More Live-Action[edit]

The video game Warhammer Epic 40,000: Final Liberation featured live-action cutscenes of similar style to this film; as it was made just a year later, it's possible that it was made by some of the same people (not just possible, it actually was).

After the credits, Inquisitor included trailers for two other Warhammer 40,000 films: Hive Infestation, featuring Space Wolf Terminators fighting a Genestealer infestation and some poor pacing on line delivery and generally weak voices, and Blood for the Blood God, featuring an Inquisitor, Space Marines, (possibly Chaos) Orks that don't speak English, and the least emphatic declaration of "Blood for the Blood God" ever.

Gallery[edit]

Genestealer Cult Magus from "Hive Infestation".
Over 9000 tonnes of cardboard were used to make the costumes.
2nd Edition Tyranid Warriors were the shit.
Remember when Orks wore gay leatherboy attire and Prince sunglasses? "Blood for the Blood God" remembers.
Inquisitor Pillowshoulders angers hard at a traitor in "Blood for the Blood God".