The Emperors Dark Angel, When Players Break the Game
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Sharing a quick recount of a game of dark heresy my friends and I played.
Our group of six was:
The GM: our lovable and adaptable storyteller, known for encouraging players to try anything crazy and giving them a fair chance, maybe too good a fair chance in the grimdark future. Also had some nasty consequences if players got out of hand (we know that when he has an evil grin)
The Assassin: the man made Mary Sue at character creation, he rolled the highest stats in front of everyone, literally everything over 17, rolled 20 for three stats, max wounds and fate, rolled 1 for divination, and rolled up to wings which the GM said was fine for this campaign, so he wears 3 BIG BADASS THRENCH COATS TO HIDE HIS WINGS, took the imposter background and homeworld sinophia, which meant he could lie through every situation and had the highest deceive for a starting character. Also was able to pick a Katana like sword and took the Carnodon hand cannon, essentially a hand cannon with semi-auto (S/3/-) and had accurate trait, AKA the desert eagle of 40K
The arbitrator: The silent badass from dusk who barely every strung more than 4 words together in a sentence, the silent grit and muscle of the group, was also made the groups prime, so he was in charge for the mission.
The Psyker: a slightly made man that rambled to himself quietly, was openly taking risks to try and get himself killed with the warp, and any time the something that had to do with reading, researching or writing, the Psyker would promptly scream “The answers are written in…..(arms flay spasmodically) BOOOOOOOOKS!!!!!”, the GM also secretly made his sword a demon sword that allowed him to avoid psychic phenomena in exchange for a single corruption point each time. He never told us until the sword was lost some time later
The Tech Priest: the corrupted heretek in secret, forge world, with malgrysian tech heresy background and always insisted that he should be the only one to operate with technology since it’s his Omnissiah-given-right. He also rolled a 3 for Intelligence, and every time he failed a tech-use he blamed us for interfering with the machine spirit.
The Scum: played by THAT guy if you will, had almost no knowledge of the game and thought that he would be able to quickly make it to a crime lord and role around the game with gangs that did his dirty work. He was planning to kill all of us, take all our gear and try become as OP and rich as possible.
And me: I didn’t play as such, more as sat on the side with the GM and helped use all my extensive knowledge of 40K lore to act as a referee so that things flowed more consistently, GM who wanted an all book campaign(dark heresy, Balck Crusade, Only War, Rogue Trader and Death Watch), still had final ruling. Having access to all the books I was able to help the GM construct his entire lengthy campaign, which was pretty solid and hard to break, but you should KNOW players, some of them are a little TOO resourceful and daring and can quickly break apart you entire campaign. This is that story.
The story:
After making planet fall on an oceanic pleasure world to investigate the mysterious disappearance of entire war fleets (boats, not space vessels) the group was only spending their second night on the first island when the GM threw a leviathan at them. The GM wanted to have access to all books from Black crusade, Dark Heresy, Only War, Rogue Trader and Death Watch, so players had a better choice on a dynamic progression through the game.
Just so you know, the leviathan comes from Black Crusades Tome of Blood page 93. It has 500 WOUNDS!!!, Toughness bonus 13, armor 14 (27 armor combined) and it has 10 TENTACLES MADE OF PURE HENTAI ANAL RAPE dealing 2D10+12 R; Pen5; Felling [2], Crippling [2], Razor Sharp, Snare[2], Toxic [2]. One hit is enough to kill any acolyte, and it’s Maw (mouth), filled with THOUSANDS OF ASS PENETRATING TEETH (Let’s not forget the tongue) dealing 4D10+12 R; Pen 8; Felling [8], Crippling [8], Razor Sharp, Toxic [2]. If you get hit by this thing, you have to not only survive, but also roll agility to escape being snared, and toughness at a -5 for EVERY POINT OF DAMAGE YOU TOOK, failing you role an addition 1D10 of I’m officially SCREWED damage bypassing armor and toughness.
So naturally when something THIS BIG with a FEAR RATING OF 4 rolls into town, EVERYONE SHITS THEIR PANTS AND RUNS, the acolytes, the towns folk, EVERYONE..... Except for the Assassin, our man about to become Mary Sue. Up to this point he’s been doing what he does best, lying and manipulating others get what he needs done, and he’s a fairly skilled Role-player, He's not THAT guy, because he understands there are limitations. So when a GIANT HENTAI MONSTER walks into town and everyone clenches their butt cheeks and runs, what does the assassin say?...... “I would like to kill it”
Me and the GM looked at each other, looked at his character sheet and thought, OK lets kill off the strongest character then. The assassin had managed to manipulate his way into the holy reliquaries on the island already, IN TWO DAYS… and had “Borrowed" a box filled with digital weapons (lasers, meltas, needlers, and explosives), but we never told him what they were since they look like unobtrusive jewelry. He went back to the reliquary and pick up the armor of a saint, and A GIANT POWERSWORD BIGGER THAN HIM. GM made him role strength, roles 6. OK he can use this. The armor counted as a best quality carapace (7 armor) with ablative upgrade (5 points of degrading armor from Black crusade) total armor 12. The power sword was F****** 1d10+18; Pen 15; Storm Field (upgraded power field that destroys anything and damages user), Unwieldy, Devastating [1], +10WS
I quickly did the math and asked the GM if he was defiantly sure about giving his end game boss a chance to die too early. “How long do you think he’ll live?” he said. We’ll the assassin had to role a fear check, at -40. His WP is 45, he roles a 5. The assassin unfurls his wings and takes to the skies, the people that are fleeing notice the assassin, so do the acolytes as they see a GIANT LIGHT FROM THE BIG ASS POWERSWORD (storm field VERY BRIGHT). The leviathan stops pummeling the turn and turns it’s attention to the assassin. The assassin says he wants to end this in as little strikes as possible. GM calls break to think about it…
When we resume, the GM says “I will let you overcharge the stormfield of the powersword”, essentially I heard “I will let you OVERCHARGE the already OVERCHARGED OP SWORD OF SHINING RAPE” GM makes him roll half Intelligence test, Assassin has 44 Intelligence, rolls 21. Ok, you take 1d10 unmitigated damage to the arm, rolls 1. GM “Lets re-roll that to be sure”, rolls 2. “Fine you only lose 2 wounds”. GM tells him that he can dive bomb into the Leviathan gaining unnatural strength x2 and you’ll have to roll a 1d100 after damage is dealt to determine double damage if you roll 100. Doing the math that sword has just become as powerful as the emporer himself doing 1d10+22; Pen 15.the Leviathan will lose 6 toughness to the felling quality and immediately take 17-26 damage per hit. I rationalize and go with the GM (BIG, BIG, BIG MISTAKE)
The assassin dives and slices THREE GIANT DILDO SHAPED TENTACLES CLEAN THROUGH, also he managed to take a heavy hit from the tentacles taking 17 damage, leaving him at -5 crit damage to the body and 4 fatigue, his TB is 4, so he’s still awake, but suffering. He finally reaches the Maw, which is about to RIP HIM SIX MILLION NEW AS****’s. he takes an opposed agility test to dive right past the teeth, into the center of his mouth and finish with a swift attack for two final hits. At this point he has done 60 damage to the leviathan. It works out that each tentacle has about 20 wounds each and the main body has 300 wounds.
The assassin roles agility against the Levaithan, assassin roles 17, leviathan roles 54. I notice the GM sweating a little at the angelic roles the assassin has. He roles WS for Swift attack, roles 14. GM “reroll that”, assassin “OK”. Rerolls a 27, still succeeds. Lands the first strike for righteous fury at 42 damage, rolls 1d100 for Double and scores 67, normal damage. lands the second strike for righteous fury at 36 damage, 1d100 for 37, normal damage. GM “the leviathan has swallowed you whole, you die”, assassin “before that, may I please role for furious assault?”. Me and the GM think “What’s the worst that could happen, he’s already dead anyway” (NOPE)
The assassin roles 15 for furious assault and gets another final attack, and he roles….. righteous fury, after righteous fury, after righteous F****** fury….. 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 7, totaling to 137 POINTS OF DAMAGE. Then rolls 1d100 and gets a F****** 100, dealing 274 points of damage. Exceeding the 300 wounds to the body by 52 wounds to spare. The GM calls an extended break to try and cope with this. When he comes back, he recites the following:
“as the towns people flee the town as it is slowly destroyed, a shining light is seen descending from the heavens (he literally dived from above the clouds), the leviathan moves to destroy the angel as he cleanly fells each giant tentacle before diving into the giant maw of the monster. There is a silence before the head is ripped apart by giant slices of light breaking free from the inside, a final orange swipe is seen decapitating the head of the leviathan as the powersword melts from the intense heat, and pressure it undergoes. A tall dark winged figure is seen atop the severed head as the people make their way back to the center of town” GM turns to the player of the assassin “What do you say to them?” the assassin thinks for moment tossing between troll mode, and serious role-play before declaring to the people, “I am the Emperors Dark Angel. His greatest servant, I AM DEATH”
The assassin finally succumbs to his wounds and passes out, the GM leaves the game their with the last words audible to the assassin. “The Emperor has seen fit to send us his blessing….”
The GM doesn’t continue the story as he and I are suddenly unsure of how to continue at this point, besides, he did just cut out 60% of the campaign, so now we need time to redo our entire campaign but we might update later. And in case lorewise people start asking WTF is a leviathan doing on some other planet, there only meant to be on Furia. Khrone cultist's were summoning a greater demon, when a rare eclipse happened and pulled the Leviathan all the way from the bottomless depths of that planet. Basically a Tzeentch LOL, as planned. A couple notes though:
The Assassin’s name was Maeth (My-eth)
He carries a black duffle bag everywhere he goes; he hid it during the leviathan
He was a MUTANT WITH WINGS and was able to hide it very well, until the leviathan came.
He still has ALL THREE fate points he started with.
He still has an ENTIRE BOX FILLED WITH DIGITAL WEAPONS which is in his duffle bag
ALL OF HIS STATS are above 40, GM gave us a 2d10+25 stat base instead of the usual 2d10+20
He STOLE, DEFILED AND USED ANCIENT RELICS OF PATRON SAINTS, AND THEY WERE BOTH DESTROYED FIGHTING THE LEVIATHAN (Big bad consequences coming to an assassin near you)
And he hasn’t spent a single point in upgrading any characteristics
Other than that, the GM and I don’t know how to deal with the fact that he just let an acolyte of the inquisition SLAY HIS HENTAI RAPING END GAME MONSTER. But we’ll update when we all join together for another session of Derp Hereshy