Editing Solar System (section)

== Irl Fluff ==
The Sun takes up nearly all of the mass (99.86% of it!) in the solar system. Occasionally shits out [[Warp Storm|solar flares]] that create auroras and, if they're big enough, can wipe out electronics or even [[Exterminatus|everything that lives]]. It'll also get swole as fuck and turn red in a few billion years and [[Vore|eat Mercury and Venus]], [[Rape|roast Earth]] and wipe away Saturn's rings.

Mercury has a big-ass core when compared to the rest of the planets in the system. As it rotates, one side gets fried by the sun and the other gets frostbitten. It also has lots of pits with flat floors and bright circles around them. How'd they get there? No one knows.

Venus is the closest the solar system has to a [[Death World]]. Clouds of acid that kill whatever tries to walk around on the surface, a thick, opaque atmosphere that traps the sun's heat, ungodly amounts of volcanoes and the planet turning itself inside out every 100 million years all mix into one extreme cocktail that makes Venus a not fun place to be.

Then there's [[Terra|Earth]], the planet you're standing on. Life just sort of popped up some 4.6 billion years ago and stuck around since. The place basically got exterminatus'd five times over the course of its history. [https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Permian–Triassic_extinction_event| The worst one] was performed by [[Derp|itself]]. And some people think that the sixth exterminatus is happening right now [[Tzeentch|thanks to us humans]].

Next door is [[Mars]], Earth's smaller cousin. It originally might have had water and life on it at some point, but because of its low gravity the breathable air fucked off and so did the water, killing whatever might have lived there. Nowadays, it has a shitty atmosphere, one giant mountain and a canyon that could stretch across the USA. Also its two moons might be captured asteroids.

In between the orbits of Mars and Jupiter is a belt of asteroids, often referred to as the Main Belt, or just the Asteroid belt, [[Fail|despite not being the largest collection of asteroids]], and consists of several smaller asteroid belts. The most notable asteroids in this belt are Ceres, a dwarf planet with some evidence of a subsurface brine reservoir, and Vesta, the largest remnant of a protoplanet that has been hit by so many other asteroids that we have found parts of it on Near earth asteroids and an entire collection of meteorites from there.

Jupiter is the biggest planet orbiting the Sun. Period. So big in fact, that it can be bright enough to cast its own reflected light on Earth. Jupiter is also what amounts to a vacuum for incoming asteroids, as any that try to sneak by Jupiter [[Not as planned|get sucked up by its gravity and collide with Jupiter]] or sucked into two gravitational anomalies known as LaGrange points and become a member of a group of asteroids known as the trojan belt. And though it has a zillion moons, people really only care about four of the biggest and closest moons, called the Galilean moons, admittedly because they're large enough to be seen with a telescope. Io is the closest of the four, and its closeness really fucked it over because it's pretty much shitting its brains out 24/7. Europa is literally a smooth criminal and it definitely has an ocean under its icy crust; if life exists anywhere else in the system but Earth, Europa is the likeliest suspect. [[Ganymede]] is not only the biggest of the four, but the biggest moon in the Solar System. And it also probably has an ocean under its surface too. Callisto is the farthest of the bunch, the oldest moon of the bunch and was sentenced to death for [[heresy]] by several [[Dakka|firing squads that shot meteors]]. In fact, Callisto is so covered in craters that the entire surface is just crater. Any new meteor that lands will just make new craters over the old ones.

Saturn has fuckhuge rings that actually made the first person to see the planet with primitive telescopes thought that the rings were two other planets. Though mostly featureless, the occasional storm can make bits of Saturn's surface look like the atmosphere of a daemon world, like the weird hexagon-shaped tornado in the north pole. It also has a bunch of huge moons, including the only moon in the system with a visible atmosphere. And that moon is Titan, which has lakes of liquid methane. Methane has to be extremely damn cold to be a liquid, so this moon might be considered a Death World. Maybe. Iapetus has no atmosphere, but [[That Guy|some jackass]] painted part of it black for no other reason than to just make the place look cool, but it just [[THIN YOUR PAINTS|looks like it was sprayed with shit]]. Then there's Mimas, which has a giant crater on its surface that makes it look like the [[Star Wars|Death Star]] (and its temperature map looks like [[/v/|Pac-Man]]). Enceladus is in the same boat as Ganymede and Europa, except people actually know that there's legit water under the surface thanks to some machines we threw at Saturn. And the moon is pissing out water vapor right now.

Uranus has a name that results in it being the butt of [[Anal circumference|quite a few jokes]]. It also rotates [[Derp|on its side]] for some fucking reason. And because of this it has sideways rings too.

Neptune is the bluest planet of literally every damn planet in the solar system. It also has a big moon that's probably a planet from beyond Pluto that got captured by the planet's gravity. And in 3 billion years or so, this moon will either crash into Neptune or turn into another ring system a la Saturn. Alas, we know very little of Uranus (stop laughing) and Neptune because of their sheer distance; much of our info was gleaned from Voyager 2, which remains the only probe we sent out that managed to pay them a visit.

Pluto is the last of the bunch, and it has the largest moon in comparison to the planet it orbits. In fact, the moon is so damn big that it's more like they orbit around a point between each other. It also has a heart shape on its surface. It was recently [[skub|demoted]] to the new category of Dwarf planet after it was found to be a member of a large asteroid belt, larger than the so-called Main belt, known as the Kuiper belt. The belt is also home to other world-sized objects like Arrokoth, Eris, Makemake, Orcus, Haumea and Quaoar, the majority of which are round and have their own moons.

Sedna is a faraway red rock slightly bigger than Ceres that's named after an old Eskimo goddess of the sea. It has one of the longest orbits of the system and it's believed to come from the inner reaches of the Oort Cloud, a spherical asteroid field that forms a gigantic bubble around our star. Very little is known about it due to its massive distance.

{{40k-Planets}}

[[Category: Warhammer 40,000]]