Editing Codex - Angry Custodes (section)

=Relics of the Great Fuckening=
If your army is led by an '''Codex - Angry Custodes''' Warlord, you may give one of the following Angry Custodes Relics to an '''Codex - Angry Custodes Character''' in your army. Special Characters already have relic like items, so they cannot be given any of the following Relics.

Note that some weapons replace one of the Character's existing weapons. When this is the case, you must, if you are playing a matched play game or are otherwise using points values, still pay the cost of the weapon that is being replaced. Write down any Angry Custodes Relics your Characters may have on your army roster.


'''A piece of the Golden Throne'''
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'''Fluff:'''
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A chunk of gold which was found by a custodian which had fallen off the golden throne. Nobody knows whether it is a vital component or just a bit of ponsy decoration, before the custodian in question could get it examined the events of the great fuckening occured and the chunk of gold (and the custodian) was wisked away in the ensuing brawl. From then on it was possessed by whoever managed to punch its previous owner unconscious, a difficult task as whoever holds the flashy chunk of metal is imbued with a fraction of the golden thrones power, making them incredibly difficult to knock out, even with the force the Angry custodes wield.

The piece of additional bling also provides a number of other benefits other than increased physical resistance, which includes:
*Fabulous hair (enough to make Fulgrim jealous).
*Improved appeal to all genders and species (also makes Fulgrim jealous).
*Sparkly anime eyes (see above).
*A golden glow (even goldier than normal for a custodian).
*And a girth and length large enough to satisfy a keeper of secrets (by this point Fulgrim is so jealous that he finds it embarrassing, and thereby arrousing).
This does have the unfortunate side effect that whoever holds the chunk of gold becomes the... centre of attention to all nearby life forms, and at least one holder of this relic was “knocked out” by a very enthusiastic group of sisters of RAEG and lubed up custodians who took their “admiration” a little too far (much enjoyment was had by slaanesh that day).</div>
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This relic replaces a models Misericordia.
{| class=wikitable cellspacing=0 cellpadding=4 align=left
|- valign=top
| The bearer of this relic has a 2++ invulnerability save (which cannot be made better than a 2++) and ignores wounds on a 5+, but all attacks against the bearer of this relic add 2 to all their hit rolls (including overwatch). In addition, '''Fulgrim''' (if he ever gets a model) rerolls all failed hit and wound rolls against this model.
|}
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'''Golden cock shield'''
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'''Fluff:'''
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An idea the Angry custodians got from an old terrian pastime called Crick-et. Described in the records (these records being written by the great orditor Douglas Adams) as being an incomprehensibly dull and pointless game. Where people would stand around in a field for a day hitting a red ball with wooden bats. What caught the custodians attention was the players use of a curved shield they would put over their genitals to protect them from being hit by the red ball, who proceeded to make one of their own (out of gold, of course) which not only protects against damage to the genitals dealt to their bearer, but also to nearby Angry Custodians (perhaps they huddle all their genitals behind it, something slaanesh would very much like to see).</div>
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This relic replaces a models Misericordia.
{| class=wikitable cellspacing=0 cellpadding=4 align=left
|- valign=top
| The bearer of this relic and a single '''ANGRY CUSTODES''' unit within 9” are immune to mortal wounds brought on by:
*ECHO IN THE FUCKING WARP COCKSUCKER!!!
*Ka FUUUUUUU!!!
*COCKSHOT YOU FUCKING CUNT!!!
*JUST FUCKING HIT THE BASTARDS!!!
*Perils of the warp (and similar effects of failed psychic powers).
*COCKSHOT FOR YOU!!!COCKSHOT FOR YOU!!! COCKSHOT FOR EVERY MOTHER FUCKER IN THIS FUCKING ROOM!!!
*And Smite.
|}
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'''The Spear of (Almost) Ultimate Dakka'''
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'''Fluff:'''
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A spear where the bolter has been replaced by drastically miniturised and dialled back Saturnyne Lascutter, but even dialled back it is capable of slicing its way through hordes of guardsmen (heretic ones of course), orks, tyranids etc.  It is such an effective horde destroyer that the orks have requested (on numerous occasions, with their best diplomatic clothes and manners on) to be allowed to worship the gun as "tis well and truly dakka incarnat, da weird boyz are avin ision of itz glory." Such requests are of course denied, although the ork "diplomat" may be shown the weapon, just to keep the orks keep keen and enthusiastic as there's nothing more disappointing and depressing than an ork who feels so down that they don't want to fight, where would the fun in that be?

There was infact, an attempt by a group pf Ork Kommandos to steal the The Spear of (almost) Ultimate Dakka after observing the tactics used by Angry Reivers, aka, they slammed a "boarding torpedo" into the side of the battle barge the spear was currently on and then proceeded to tip toe around the ship while shouting "weez ar zoggin sneekin ere'! Ladz oi fink itz workin, da humies are just lookin roight at us!" The angry custodes were stunned by a such a tactic, partially because of the orks brazzen brass balls needed to steal an idea from the Angry Marines, but also because the Angry Custodes psychic maelstrom had become tainted by the orks firm belief that they were currently invisible. In the end, the angry custodes had to call upon the assistence of Sergeant Asshole McCuntsface, who was able to immediately spot the "sneaking" orks and proceded to sodomise them with his fists for infringment on his intellectual property.</div>
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This weapon replaces a models Guardian Spear with the following profile:
{| class=wikitable cellspacing=0 cellpadding=4 align=right
|- valign=top
! Weapon !! Range !! Type !! S !! AP !! D !! Abilities 
|-
| The Spear of (almost) Ultimate Dakka || 28" || Assault 1 || 4 || -1 || 1 || Each successful hit with this weapon generates an additional shot which you immediately roll for, this hit may generate additional hits and so on until a total of 10 hits have been made or you miss a hit.
|-
| The Spear of (almost) Ultimate Dakka || Melee || Melee || +1 || -3 || D3 || 
|}
In addition, if the bearer of this weapon is slain, you may make a single melee or shooting attack (this attack cannot generate other attacks) before it is removed from the battlefield.

'''Tin of Golden Paint'''
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'''Fluff:'''
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A tin of "Emperor's Approval" (complete with a picture of a smiling emperor with his thumbs up on the front), a golden paint which the custodes use to ensure that any surface they encounter and approve of is suitably golden, whether it be chairs, guns, light fittings, food, guardsmen, bananas, if a custodian approves of it, then it gets a lick of golden paint. And because the warp is a thing, and everyone believes that being painted gold or being gold makes you superior (as we all know, the presence of gold makes all other colours inferior), then it will make things painted gold superior. The shade of gold used by the custodes is currently unavailbe in the 42nd millenium's equivilent of dulux, as the water base of the paint is actually made using the emperor's tears which his corpse produces every time a loyal member of the imperium dies in battle, which the custodes have been diligently collecting for the past millennium.</div>
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This relic does not replace any models items.
{| class=wikitable cellspacing=0 cellpadding=4 align=left
|- valign=top
| At the beginning of your turn, choose a friendly unit (this includes fortifications) within 3" of the bearer of this relic, until your next turn, that unit adds 1 to their invulnerability save (if they didn't have one then they gain a 6++ invulnerability save, this +1 can increase a save beyond 3++) and adds 1 to that units attack characteristic.
|}
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'''The Eraser of History'''
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'''Fluff:'''
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An Executioners Greatblade which was once used by the Sisters of Silence to execute the most powerful of heretical psykers, whos will was so powerful that even the presence of nulls wasn't enough to put a halt to their powers. The blade was forged using melted down fragments of broken armour used by sisters who fell in battle, and after smelting its heat was quenches in a vat of blood taken from the same dead sisters, suffice it to say that the blade even creeps out Sisters of RAEG, and is only ever handled by the angriest of their order who are not put off by the fact that they are weilding a weapon which is quite literally ,made from their fallen bretheren. Infact, the blade has been so drenched in the blood of psykers over the centuries that it actually weeps blood when not in use, and this blood is often drank by initiates into the Sisters of RAEG who then recieve visions of all the lives that the blade has claimed, and all of those who fell for it to be forged.</div>
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This weapon replaces a models Executioners Greatblade with the following profile:
{| class=wikitable cellspacing=0 cellpadding=4 align=left
|- valign=top
! Weapon !! Range !! Type !! S !! AP !! D !! Abilities 
|-
| The Eraser of History || Melee || Melee || +2 || -4 || 2D3 || Attacks with this weapon can target any model within base contact of your choice instead of your opponent assigning damage. In addition to this, whenever the bearer of the weapon kills a model with this weapon roll a D6, on a 6 the bearer heals a single, previously lost, wound.
|}
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The bearer of the Blade may also deny one additional enemy psychic power a turn, if a an enemy psychic power is denied this way then the model which casted it suffers D3 mortal wounds.


'''The Maelstrom Earthing Rod'''
A golden staff used by Mindfucked Psykers to simultaneously anchor their soul to reality and the Angry Maelstrom, as opposed to bouncing between the two at the whims of the warp. 

This relic replaces a models Force Stave.
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{| class=wikitable cellspacing=0 cellpadding=4 align=Left
|- valign=top
! Melee Weapon !! Range !! Type !! S !! AP !! D !! Abilities 
|-
| The Maelstrom Earthing Rod || Melee || Melee || +2 || -2 || D3 || A model equipped with this weapon suffers mortal wounds from Please don't hurt me... on a 6+ instead on a 4+ and may adds an additional 1 to all its psychic tests.
|}
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In addition, if the bearer of this relic dies and its Wait NOOOOOOOOGLARBABLAHBALHABHHBLBL... rule activates then you don't need to pay points or power points to then deploy the resulting Chaos Spawn.


'''Banner of the Anathema'''

A banner which had carried by one of the ten Custodians who began the Great Fuckening. Initially it had been adorned with a picture of the imperial aquila in all of its golden, majestic glory

This relic replaces a models Misericordia.
{| class=wikitable cellspacing=0 cellpadding=4 align=left
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|At the beginning of your turn, choose one of the following abilities to activate:
*All psychic tests made within 12” of the bearer of this relic automatically fail and powers manifested against ANGRY CUSTODES units within 6” of the bearer of this relic cost 1 more power to manifest.
*Choose a unit with an ability within 24” of the bearer of this relic, that ability made not be activated until the start of your next turn.
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