Editing Star Trek (section)

= Films =
We're putting these at the end in the (unlikely) event someone does a movie that's in the non-Abrams canon ever. As a general rule, the even-numbered ones aren't complete shit.

* '''''Star Trek: The Motion Picture''''': AKA: The Slow Motion Picture, or the Motionless Picture. A giant space whatsit is flying towards Earth, the mostly-retired crew has to go figure out what's going on and stop it.  Old school sci-fi geeks like the ideas, but terrible pace and interminable special effects that were clearly meant to capitalize on ''2001: A Space Odyssey'' while failing to understand what people like about that movie kill them dead for everyone else. Besides the uniform worn by Kirk, the uniforms also look like pajamas. So no wonder they were changed only a movie later. Features an entirely bald female alien who is [[What|so good at sex that she has to swear an oath not to get it on with the crew]]. Really. This is canon.
* '''''Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan''''': As Kirk starts to feel his age, a one-off villain from the show played by Ricardo "Corinthian Leather" Montalban makes a dramatic reappearance: [[Meme|KKKHHHAAAAAAAAAAAANNNN!!!!]] Widely considered the best of all the films, and the only one considered a straight up great film, no qualifiers. If you haven't seen it, see it. So good many later movies in the franchise just try to rip it off instead of finding their own identities. Interesting fact: due to time constraints, Shatner and Montalban weren't available at the same time. So the entire script was written so that Kirk and Khan never need to meet face-to-face. But you'd never notice if it weren't pointed out to you. Roddenberry screeched autistically and objected to some of the actions of his characters, including Kirk shooting a [[Enslavers|brain eating space parasite]] that had literally just emerged from the head of his friend rather than "[[Noblebright|keeping it for study]]." The fact that his strongest objections came to the most win of the films says a great deal about his depreciating value to the franchise around the TNG era. 
* '''''Star Trek III: The Search for Spock''''': Where is Spock? ''He's on Genesis.'' ALL AHEAD FULL! Not really bad, just mediocre and run of the mill compared to the superior films that surround it. It was also saddled with the misfortune of undoing some of the previous film's more-daring decisions, and having its only daring decision reversed a film later. If you had to say that any film broke the "odd numbers suck" rule, it would be this one.  This was Leonard Nimoy's first attempt at directing a full film, having asked for the seat in exchange for agreeing to play Spock again.  
* '''''Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home''''': The crew of the ''Enterprise'' travels back in time to save the whales. No, literally and unironically. Scott tries to talk to a computer through the mouse, Spock nerve-pinches a punk on a bus in San Francisco, and somehow it works, creating something perhaps not quite in the genre intended but a classic in sci-fi dramedy. ''The Voyage Home'' is a zany comedy romp beloved by the general public and fandom alike, leaving only the most intractable fanbois to bitch and moan.  Nimoy directed this one too but there was a contract stipulation that Shatner would get whatever Nimoy got, thus leading to...
* '''''Star Trek V: The Final Frontier''''': aka. the film that should never have been made, even by many die-hard Trekkies. Kirk's actor got his spin behind the camera as agreed and wanted a "thought-provoking movie" after the more comical IV. Good intention, but the abysmal execution leaves the audience facepalming at the very best. Between the weak script, the 'moral' of the story ('faith can be abused by unscrupulous people', for the record) delivered with all the subtlety of a punch to the face, poor (or deliberately campy) special effects, uninspired performances by the actors (who for the most part didn't like the script as it had them behave against everything that had come before and betray Kirk) and Kirk's screentime-hogging (despite being behind the camera); this movie is by far the absolute worst of the original six and simply not worth watching... but it's just dumb and hapless, not dead and soulless like what's to follow from other crews.
* '''''Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country''''': The Space Cold War ends amidst searing mystery and drama. The sendoff for the original cast, except Kirk who got a worse send-off a movie later. Gene Roddenberry watched it, hated it, and was going to seek legal advice but died a week later. And good riddance to that, because it's a pretty sweet political thriller if your hippie-panties don't get into a twist at the thought that the Federation isn't a perfect place full of perfect people. Press F for Christopher Plummer, second best ham in ''Trek'' history.  After the previous movie's painful directing, Sulu's actor only agreed to come back if he got to be captain of his own ship. He did, but Shatner still found a way to steal his thunder.
* '''''Star Trek Generations''''': Malcolm McDowell blows up planets to get into a magic space ribbon to live forever, no it does not make any more sense in context. Bringing the TNG crew to the silver screen was a good idea, but those were thin on the ground. An already-weak story hamstrung by its obsession with being daring and unconventional rather than good (aside from the bit where Worf gets promoted, that was great). Also, Kirk dies on the bridge in the most face-palming manner possible.  Nimoy was offered the Director's chair, took one look at the script and demanded a rewrite which didn't happen so he refused to be involved.  
* '''''Star Trek First Contact''''': The ''TNG'' crew face off with the Borg to ensure the future happens. Lots of action, a script that sparks with energy and snark, and some quite effective performances make this the only good ''TNG'' movie (we don't blame you TNG cast). It is sadly also the only appearance of the Defiant on the big screen, doing a pretty decent job of fighting the Borg before the Enterprise E saves the day of course. The Borg Queen was also introduced here before Voyager ruined what could have been a good idea. (Or demonstrated the flaws in what was already a shaky idea, depending on who you ask, but either way she works well here in a way she won't later.) 
* '''''Star Trek Insurrection''''': If you thought the [[Avatar|Na'vi]] were a bunch of badly-written [[Mary Sue]]s, you ain't seen nothing yet! B-b-b-baby you ain't seen n-n-n-nothing yet! Also, Riker shaves his beard, and that's basically a war crime.  Aged from terrible to forgettably bad thanks to that one scene of Picard and Data singing ''HMS Pinafore'' going memetic.    
* '''''Star Trek Nemesis''''': The last stand of the ''TNG'' cast, ending not with a bang but a whimper. It also required amending the even=good/odd=bad rule to "''Galaxy Quest'' counts as a ''Star Trek'' film so this one is also odd." Infamous for killing off Data (which was actually Brent Spiner's idea since he was starting to visibly age) and because the director hadn't watched a single episode of TNG, back when it was considered a bad thing not to know anything about the property you were adapting. It also killed Tom Hardy's career for half a decade, [[Grimdark|and nearly killed Hardy himself]].
* '''''Star Trek''''' (2009): Alternate timeline "reboot" (sideboot?) with the original crew, albeit with new younger actors. Timey-wimey shit happens and old prime timeline Spock (reprised by old Leonard Nimoy) is hurled back in time along with a bunch of Romulan assholes. The dickbag Romulans begin fucking shit up, slightly altering history in a way that ensures gratuitous lens flare. [[skub| Skubtastic]], but at least fun to watch (if a literally gleaming, uncomplicated space action-adventure that doesn't delve deeply into the human condition ala II or deeply into idiocy ala V/Generations/Insurrection spells "fun" to you), which is more than ''most'' odd-numbered films can muster. If you still even count it as odd, without the ''Galaxy Quest''-amendment.
* '''''Star Trek Into Darkness''''': Some [[edgy]] [[Fail|shit]]. The second of the alternate timeline ''Trek'' films. Terrorism, conspiracy and flapdoodle. Even more skubtastic, but generally considered worse than its predecessor, partially because (like ''Nemesis'') it tries to be a remake of ''The Wrath of Khan'' and having Kirk at his most punchable.
* '''''Star Trek Beyond''''': Didn't totally suck; graded on a curve against the prior two. So - the good / bad / skub. Good: lots of good character stuff for the entire cast (including Kirk ''not'' being an asshat) and a decent story revolving around a race of mysterious space pirates trying to conquer a colony; handles IRL death of Leonard Nimoy excellently. Bad: villains are under-written, the action photography is poorly-lit shaky-cam horseshit, and the sound work is awful. Skub: Takei came out to complain that its Sulu was gay-married, since he'd played Sulu straight himself, so gay-Sulu was - Takei complained - an insult to his acting prowess (but: alternate universe, remember).  If it's the last "Kelvin Timeline" movie, as it seems it will be, at least it ended on a note that wasn't total turd. Apparently we're getting a fourth one now, which was news to everyone including the cast.