Editing Codex - Angry Custodes (section)

=Angry Custodes Rules=

==General Rules==
*'''Dual Melee Weapons''': if a model with this ability is Equipped with two of the same Melee weapon, you can add 1 to its Attacks characteristic.

*'''Big E is Watching''': The Angry Custodes can be found fighting any number of battles at any given time, but when large numbers of them get together for a fight the Emperor pays attention, as there’s guaranteed to be a good fight.
:*If your army is battle forged, all '''Angry Custodes, INFANTRY''' and '''BIKER''' units in the '''Codex - Angry Custodes''' Detachment add 1 to their invulnerability saves (to a maximum of 3+). In addition to this, these units also add 1 to their attack characteristic in a turn in which it charged, or performed a heroic intervention.

*'''COCKSHOT YOU FUCKING CUNT!''': Angry Custodes just know where to find a targets dick, even if that target doesn't have a dick the Custodes will find it, and kick it, very hard, and only then will they start killing their target by more conventional means.
:*Hit rolls of 6+ made by a model with this ability  is a "COCKSHOT", and inflicts a mortal wound instead of resolving normal damage.

*'''Designed to FUCKING KICK THE GALAXY’S ASS!!!''': Being the creation of the most powerful living being in existence allows custodians to dominate whatever theatre of war they are put into. 
:*If your army is Battle-forged, all '''Angry Custodes, INFANTRY''' and '''BIKER''' units in the '''Codex - Angry Custodes''' Detachments gain this ability. such a unit that is within range of an objective marker (as specified in the mission) controls the objective marker even if there are more enemy models within range of that objective marker. if an enemy unit within range of the same objective marker has a similar ability, then the objective marker is controlled by the player who has the most models within range of it as normal.

*'''Don't you even FUCKING DARE!!!''': The Sisters of RAEG have a way of making people not shoot at them, some say that it's the psychic maelstrom that surrounds them, others say that it's the way that they silently scream how much they despise your existence, while others profess that shooting at a Sister of RAEG is an excellent way to find you balls being pulled off your body via your throat. Whatever reason, the enemy always finds an excuse to shoot straight up into the air instead of at the gold and red psychopaths running towards them at top speed.
:*A unit/model which wishes to target a unit with this rule  (within 24") must roll a d6 and add its units highest leadership and the targeted unit must do the same. If the targeted unit equals or has a higher value than the targeting units value then that targeting unit suffers a -1 to all dice rolls until the next turn (this doesn't not stack with multiple copies of this effect). If the targeting unit has a higher result then nothing happens.

*'''ECHO IN THE FUCKING WARP COCKSUCKER!!!''': Every sentient creature in the galaxy can feel the echo of the Great Fuckening oozing off an Angry Custodian, and an Adeptus Custodian was scary enough before he was chasing you across a field with a volcano cannon to undertake some laser surgery on your ballsack. In groups, Angry Custodes can combine this psychic rage, by violently arguing with each other until they agree that they "SHOULD FUCK THAT DIPSHIT OVER THERE!!!". Although Angry Custodes are very good at fucking people up with their combined thoughts and abuse, if they do happen to miss their intended target then they will argue even more violently and loudly than before, often dealing more damage to each other than the poor sod they were shooting at.
**All non '''ANGRY CUSTODES''' models within 12" subtract 1 from their leadership and psychic tests (friend and foe).

*'''EMPRAH PROTECT!!!''': The Emperor's seal of approval, like a purity seal  except that it actually protects against stuff instead of just looking fancy.
:*Models with this ability have a 5+ invulnerability save, unless otherwise stated (eg a 3+ with a storm shield). In addition, Roll a D6 each time this unit suffers a mortal wound (except those caused by MIND DAKKA!!! and perils in the warp); on a 6+ that mortal wound is ignored.

*'''JUST FUCKING HIT THE BASTARDS!!!''': The Angry Custodes are, as you may have guessed, are rather angry and impatient creatures. They've spent god emperor knows how long travelling through the warp and real space looking for the next target to kick. So when it actually comes down to fighting, the Angry Custodes can't be bothered to wait around and slowly make their way to the enemy. Most of all, they hate that their weapons come in varieties which aren't assault, as for some reason they can't run and fire those weapons. So they just ignored the pansy, ultramarine rules, and ran, screaming and shooting, at their enemies anyway.
:* If a model with this ability advanced in the movement phase it's weapons become assault x (pistol 2 becomes assault 2) until the next turn. 

*'''Ka FUUUUUUU!!!''': There's only so much hate, anger and belligerence you can fit into a given space, but The Great Fuckening managed it. While it has the advantage that every member of the Angry Custodes fights as if he's on every known enhancement drug (and some unknown ones, slaanesh would very much like to know what these are), it has the rather hilarious side effect that when an Angry Custodian dies, they explode, rather violently, it is thought that this isn't actually the Custodian being slain, but is in fact a very extreme form of rage quitting.
:*When a model with this rule is slain, it deals 1 mortal wound to its own unit and 1 mortal wound to each other units (friend and foe) within D6” where the slain model was. If this effect would be activated twice simultaneously, resolve them simultaneously. If the last model in a unit with this rule is slain however, each unit (friend or foe) within 6” suffers D3 mortal wounds.

*'''My eyes are up here DIPSHIT!!!''': Despite how intimidating and angry a Sister of RAEG is you still can't help but look into their eyes, eyes which show a clear contempt for your existence. Such an allure makes it, as you can imagine, very difficult to shoot at anything other than the Sister of RAEG, an act which is scientifically proven to dramatically increase the number of anuses you have.
:*If a unit with this rule is the closest unit to an enemy unit, that enemy unit must target the unit with this rule in the shooting, fight and psychic phases.

*'''WHO'S THIS KHARN CUNT ANYWAY?!!!''': Angry Custodes never “miss” their target, they simply indented to hit that other target, even if that other target was a friendly Custodian. 
:*Every time a model with this ability fails a hit roll, roll a D6; on a 5+ is a "COCKSHOT", the nearest model in that models unit (or If there are no other models in the model's unit remaining then that attack is assigned to the nearest model (friend or foe).) suffers a mortal wound.