Editing Codex - Angry Custodes (section)

===Knights Apoplectic===
Strangely enough, the Angry Custodes didn't start out with any knights, as there weren't any near enough to the Imperial Palace to become corrupted by their RAEG. But over the years the Angry Marines have employed the services of Questing Knights (some of whom even survived fighting alongside the Angry Custodes), who the Custodes valued highly for their ability to bring large amounts of Dakka and Choppy, all on a chassis that can also kick its enemies in the balls (although the kick in question just kicks the whole target out of existence, but it's the thought that counts). A very small number of these knights ended up working with the Angry Custodes for so long, that the souls of their pilot and machine spirit became forever corrupted and bound to the psychic bag of insane honey badgers which is the hallmark of the Angry Custodes.

This means that the Angry Custodes not only have access to normal knights, but also a few more... unusual varieties which the Adeptus Mechanicus consider abhorrent (if somewhat erotic, like a deamonette, but even more likely to cut your balls off).

You may use the Angry Knights found in the Angry Marines codex, except that those models gain the “ANGRY CUSTODES” keyword and lose the “ANGRY MARINE” keyword.

Knights Apoplectic are different, each type comes with a set weapon loadout and unique rules, you may field both Angry Knights and Knights Apoplectic in the same army. In addition, if you are fighting a campaign with three of more battles, and have one or more  “ANGRY KNIGHT” units (not knights apoplectic) in your army, for the third battle and beyond those knights gain the “KNIGHTS APOPLECTIC” keyword free of charge.


====The Truci Siblings====
The Truci Siblings is made up of three models Emelia, Friedrich and Bertrand Truci, each is armed with a Thermal Spear and a Reaper Chain Cleaver. In addition, Emelia Truci is armed with a Twin Heavy Flamer, Friedrich Truci is armed with a a Massive Speaker System, while Bertrand Truci is armed with an additional Thermal Spear.

{| border=1 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=4 align=left
|- valign=top
! Name !! M !! WS !! BS !! S !! T !! W !! A !! Ld !! Sv !! Pts
|-
| Emilia Truci || * || * || * || 7 || 7 || 13 || 5 || 8 || 3+ || 240
|-
| Friedrich Truci || * || * || * || 7 || 7 || 13 || 5 || 8 || 3+ || 250
|-
| Bertrand Truci || * || * || 3+ || 7 || 7 || 13 || 5 || 8 || 3+ || 240
|}
{| border=1 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=4 align=right
|- valign=top
! Remaining W !! M !! WS !! BS
|-
| 7-13+ || 14” || 2+ || 3+
|-
| 4-6 || 10” || 3+ || 4+
|-
| 1-3 || 7” || 4+ || 5+
|}
<br style="clear: both; height: 0px;" /><br>

{| border=1 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=4 align=right
|- valign=top
! Melee Weapon !! Range !! Type !! S !! AP !! D !! Abilities !! Points
Per Weapon
|-
| Twin Heavy Heavy Flamer || 9” || Heavy 2D6 || 5 || -1 || 1 || This weapon automatically hits its target.
|| 4
|-
| Meltagun || 12” || Assault 1 || 8 || -4 || D6 || If the target is within half range of this weapon,
roll two dice when inflicting damage with it and discard the lowest result. 
|| 17
|-
| Thermal Spear || 30” || Assault D3 || 8 || -4 || D6 || If the target is within half range of this weapon,
roll two dice when inflicting damage with it and discard the lowest result.
|| 0
|-
| Reaper Chain Cleaver || Melee || Melee || x2 || -3 || 3 || - 
|| 0
|}
<br style="clear: both; height: 0px;" /><br>

Abilities:
*Act as one:
**Once deployed as a unit onto the battlefield each model is treated as a separate unit, however, if each model in the unit is within 6” of each other then you may add 1” to each models movement distances.

*Ion Shields: WHAT THE FUCK EVEN ARE ION'S DOING BLOCKING BULLETS?!!! THAT MAKES NO FUCKING SENSE!!!
**This model has a 5+ invulnerability save against shooting attacks.

*Massive Speaker System:
**Enemy units within 6” of this model suffer -1 to their leadership characteristic.

*First Blood:
**Whenever a model from this unit inflicts a wound against an enemy unit the rest of that models unit may re-roll hit and wound rolls against that unit for the rest of the current phase. In addition, if a model from this unit slays the last model from an enemy unit then this unit may re-roll hit and wound rolls of 1 for the rest of the battle, regardless of the phase.

====The Despoiler of Plot Lines====
A knight who is capable of sensing inbalences in the warp caused by a beings plot armour, whether it be abbadon failing to destroy cadia 13 times in a row, or Caldor Drago surviving for millennia in the warp, the knight senses these slips and denial of common sense in reality, and they hate them all. It is unknown whether the pilot is male, female or even a xeno, what is known is that if a being who is defying the laws of reality and physics gets too close, the Despoiler of Plot Lines will stir in its hanger and scream “FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF....” and charge off in its enemies direction. In the knights spare time (while not taking part in the Angry Custodes usual activities of fighting etc) it writes stories based on improved versions of the characters it has slain as if to try and soothe the universe by showing it that things can get better. Needless to say, the Despoiler is bat shit insane and more violent than a bag full of honey badgers.

The Despoiler of plot lines is an Angry Knight. He/she/it/they are armed with a single “FUCK OFF HUGE CHAINSWORD!!!”, Spike Shodden Titanic Feet and nothing else.

{| border=1 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=4 align=left
|- valign=top
! Name !! M !! WS !! BS !! S !! T !! W !! A !! Ld !! Sv !! Pts
|-
| The Despoiler of Plot Lines || * || * || 0 || 9 || 8 || 24 || 3 || 9 || 3+ || 445
|}
<br style="clear: both; height: 0px;" /><br>
{| border=1 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=4 align=right
|- valign=top
! Weapon !! Range !! Type !! S !! AP !! D !! Abilities !! Points 
Per Weapon
|-
| Spike Shodden Titanic Feet || Melee || Melee || User || -2 || D3 || Make 5 hit rolls for each attack made with this weapon,
instead of 1. 
| 0
|-
| FUCK OFF HUGE CHAINSWORD!!! 
(standard attack) 
| Melee 
| Melee 
| +6
| -3 
| 6 
| Make 2 hit rolls for each attack made with this weapon,
instead of 1. 
| 0
|-
| FUCK OFF HUGE CHAINSWORD!!! 
(FUCK YOUR PLOT ARMOUR ATTACK) 
| Melee 
| Melee 
| X2 
| 0 
| 0 
| Subtract 1 from the hit rolls for this weapon. Every time you make a successful wound with this weapon,
it inflicts 6 mortal wounds instead of normal damage. 
|| 0
|}
{| border=1 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=4 align=right
|- valign=top
! Remaining W !! M !! WS 
|-
| 13-24+ || 15” || 2+ 
|-
| 7-12 || 10” || 3+ 
|-
| 1-6 || 6” || 4+ 
|}


Abilities:
*Knights of the FLIPPED OVER TABLE!!!
*Really fucking huge and fucking scary

*Ion Shields: WHAT THE FUCK EVEN ARE ION'S DOING BLOCKING BULLETS?!!! THAT MAKES NO FUCKING SENSE!!!
:*This model has a 5+ invulnerability save against shooting attacks.

*Charecter Hunter: The Despoiler of Plot Lines will abandon fighting all other targets if it senses a nearby character, instead choosing the charge headlong towards its preferred foe.
:*You may add 3" to charge distances against models with the '''CHARACTER''' keyword. In addition to this, is model adds 1 to its attack characteristic in a turn in which it charged, was charged or performed a heroic intervention.

*Bringer of balence to the story: Despoiler has the skills to back up its ability to sense poor writing and badly formulated characters, with the knights weaponary being able to cut through the thickest of literal and metaphorical armour to slay it’s foe.
:*if at least one enemy '''CHARACTER''' within 1" of '''The Despoiler of Plot Lines''', it always fight first in the Fight phase even if it didn't charge; If the enemy has units that have charged, or that have a similar ability, then alternate choosing units to fight with, starting with the player whose turn is taking place. In addition, enemy '''CHARACTERS''' cannot use their invulnerability saves against Attacks made by this unit.

*FUCKING MARY SUES!!!: The despoiler of plot lines has a particular hatred of those who evade even its fury and editorial wrath, and tries even harder to annihilate these “FUCKING MARY SUE’S!!!”.
:*The despoiler of Plot Lines may reroll failed to wound rolls against the following '''characters''': '''Roboute Guilliman, Marneus Calgar, Captain Sicarius, Lord Kaldor Draigo, Belisarius Cawl''' and '''Abaddon The Despoiler'''. In addition before a battle if your opponent is using a model which you consider to be a Mary Sue then you, your opponent and one other person may discuss whether that model is a Mary Sue, if you all agree then the despoiler of plot lines may reroll failed wound rolls against that model as well (REMEMBER, DON’T BE A FUCKING DICK/THAT GUY ABOUT IT!!!).

Faction Keywords: Imperium, Angry, Knight House Apoplectic

Keywords: Titanic, Vehicle, Knights Apoplectic, Character, The Despoiler of Plot Lines

====Karl and Sigvald the Eternally Furious====
Two brothers who manned two separate titans until (while fighting for the Angry Custodes) sigvald’s Titan was destroyed, leaving him without a knight. This let to a massive fight watched by several dozen Angry Custodes (THOSE KNIGHTLY FUCKS CAN’T FIGHT FOR SHIT WITHOUT THEIR GIANT WALKING PENIS COMPENSATIONS!!!) as Sigvald wanted Karl to hand over his knight as he was the older brother, while Karl was understandably a bit pissed off as “it’s your fucking fault that you fucked up your knight!” (This was before the two became properly Angry so they only spoke in lower case). In murderous rage, the two brothers both tried to simultaneously enter Karl’s knight to kill the other, but as they both squeezed inside the tiny cockpit an custodian slammed and sealed the door behind them because “IT’S FUCKING HILARIOUS!!!”

The two brothers are now forever trapped together inside a space too small for them to kill each other, and forever sustained by the knights life support and the psychic energies which surround the Angry Custodes, their rage very rapidly boiling and growing as the two brothers exchanged insults for centuries. Only the battlefield Karl and Sigvald the Eternally Furious are a whirlwind of bullets and blades, as the only true outlet they have for their hatred for each other is on the battlefield, but one day their fury will be too much to be contained by mere metal and plasteel, creating a psychic shockwave to make any Angry Custodian proud “THAT WAS FUCKING BEAUTIFUL!!! THEY DIED STRANGLING EACH OTHERS THROATS!!!”

Karl and Sigvald the Eternally Furious are a single Knight Castellan. They are armed with a Plasma Decimator, a Volcano Lance, two twin Meltaguns and three Twin Siegebreaker Cannons. They may also SERIOUSLY FUCK UP their enemies with their Titanic Feet.

{| border=1 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=4 align=left
|- valign=top
! Name !! M !! WS !! BS !! S !! T !! W !! A !! Ld !! Sv !! Pts (including wargear)
|-
| Karl and Sigvald the Eternally Furious || * || * || * || 9 || 8 || 24 || 6 || 9 || 3+ || 650
|}
<br style="clear: both; height: 0px;" /><br>
{| border=1 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=4 align=right
|- valign=top
! Ranged Weapon !! Range !! Type !! S !! AP !! D !! Abilities
|-
| Plasma Decimator || - || - || - || - || - || Choose one of the following profiles when firing this weapon.
|-
| -Normal || 48” || Heavy 2D6 || 7 || -3 || 1 || -
|-
| -Overcharged || 48” || Heavy 2D6 || 8 || -3 || 2 || Each hit roll of 1 with this profile deals 1 mortal wound to this weapons bearer.
|-
| Titanic Feet || Melee || Melee || User || -2 || D3 || Make 3 hit rolls for each attack made with this weapon, instead of 1.
|-
| Twin Shieldbreaker Cannon || 48” || Heavy 2D3 || 7 || -1 || D3 || - 
|-
| Volcano Lance || 80” || Heavy D6 || 14 || -5 || 3D3 || You may reroll failed sound rolls when targeting TITANIC units.
|-
| Twin Meltagun || 12” || Heavy 2 || 8 || -4 || D6 || If the target is within half range of this weapon,
roll two dice when inflicting damage with it and discard the lowest result. 
|}
{| border=1 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=4 align=right
|- valign=top
! Remaining W !! M !! WS !! BS
|-
| 13-24+ || 12” || 3+ || 3+
|-
| 7-12 || 9” || 3+ || 3+
|-
| 1-6 || 6” || 5+ || 5+
|}

Abilities:
*Knights of the FLIPPED OVER TABLE!!!
*Really fucking huge and fucking scary

*Ion Shields: WHAT THE FUCK EVEN ARE ION'S DOING BLOCKING BULLETS?!!! THAT MAKES NO FUCKING SENSE!!!
:*This model has a 5+ invulnerability save against shooting attacks.

*Centuries of fury: The fury built up inside Karl and Sigvald sharpens their senses and skills to a razors edge, ensuring that they fight like no one else on the battlefield.
:* This model can re-roll any failed hit rolls in the shooting and fight phases.

*HOW CAN YOU FUCKING MISS THAT YOU PRICK?!!!: Battle is the only outlet the two brothers have for their fury, but that fury increases every time they miss a shot or a hit, and there’s only so much fury mortal forms can take before they break.
:*If this model fails a total of 10 hit rolls (after modifiers and re-rolls) in a single shooting phase or a single fight phase, it is immediately slain.

*Welded shut exits and entrances: The Angry Custodes ensured that the two brothers could never leave their knight by welding shut or covering over all holes on the Titan other than its guns and air intakes.
:*Attacks made against This model with AP -1 or -2 is treated as being AP 0.

Faction Keywords: Imperium, Angry, Knight House Apoplectic

Keywords: Titanic, Vehicle, Knights Apoplectic, Character, Karl and Sigvald the Eternally Furious

====Ingrid, the Infinitely Prolonged and Infinitely Insane====
The most insane being in the galaxy, the only being crazier than her is Kairos Fateweaver, but even he can’t predict Ingrid’s actions as she’s just so insane. Nothing is known about Ingrid and her knight other than that the Angry Custodes found her at the bottom of a hole dug by two fighting Belligerent Redemptor Dreadnoughts. It is not known why her knight was so far underground, but her knights markings and its advanced technology suggested that she was a knight from before the heresy, making her over 10,000 years old, surviving by virtue of most of her body being already replaced by mechanical parts. When retrieved from inside her knight she simply laughed continuously, intermittently adding “you look like giant golden mushrooms!” And “did you know that kitten is the funniest colour!” The Angry custodes tried to sedate her for examination but no amount of sedatives would work, and any needles they tried to put into her would bend away from her flesh, or turn into flowers, or start talking to the doctor saying “I never asked to be a needle you know, I wanted to be a vague feeling of unease, but no one asked my opinion on the matter.”

Eventually the Angry Custodes stopped trying to lock her up or get rid of her, and now she just wanders around with the custodes (sometimes in her Titan, which is now a strange blue colour with slashes of purple paint), commenting on how nice the gravity was today, or how rabbits make the best chess players and bed fellows. Occasionally she will stumble out onto the battlefield, where she is still crazy but her muscle/circuit memory kicks in and she violently cuts her way through any foe before the custodes, but once the battle is over she starts making blood angles (like snow angels, but bloodier) with her knight. The Angry Custodes now sort of accept her, and have set aside a small bedroom for her next to her knights hangar, although most nights she sleeps in her knight (no pun intended), cuddled up with a Ming dynasty vase which the custodes swear they have never seen before and have no idea where she materialised such a priceless artefact from.

Ingrid, the Infinitely Prolonged and Infinitely Insane is a single model. She is armed with a Volkite Chieorovile, a Graviton Crusher and a Reaper Chainsword. She may also crush her foes beneath her Titanic Feet until they make funny squishy noises.
{| border=1 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=4 align=left
|- valign=top
! Name !! M !! WS !! BS !! S !! T !! W !! A !! Ld !! Sv !! Pts
|-
| Ingrid, the Infinitely Prolonged and Infinitely Insane || * || * || * || 9 || 8 || 24 || 4 || 9 || 3+ || 500
|}
<br style="clear: both; height: 0px;" /><br>
{| border=1 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=4 align=right
|- valign=top
! Ranged Weapon !! Range !! Type !! S !! AP !! D !! Abilities !! Points 
Per Weapon
|-
| Graviton Crusher || 30" || Heavy 6 || 6 || -3 || 1 || If the target has a save characteristic of 3+ or better,
this weapon has a Damage characteristic of 3.
| 40
|-
| Volkite Chieorovile || 36" || Heavy 6 || 7 || -1 || 1 || Each time you make a wound roll of 5+ for this weapon,
the target suffers a mortal wound in addition to any other damage. 
| 40
|-
| Twin Rad-Cleanser || 9" || Assualt 2D6 || * || 0 || D3 || This weapon hits automatically, and it always wounds on a 3+
except against '''Titanic''' and '''Vehicle''' units agaist which it always wounds on a 6+. 
| 35
|-
| Hekaton Siege Claw || Melee || Melee || x2 || -4 || 6 || Subtrate 1 from the hit rolls made with this weapon. || 30
|-
| Reaper Chainsword || Melee || Melee || +6 || -3 || 6 || - || 30
|-
| Titanic Feet || Melee || Melee || User || -2 || D3 || Make 3 hit rolls for each attack made with this weapon, instead of 1. || 0
|}
{| border=1 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=4 align=right
|- valign=top
! Remaining W !! M !! WS !! BS
|-
| 13-24+ || 12” || 2+ || 2+
|-
| 7-12 || 9” || 3+ || 3+
|-
| 1-6 || 6” || 4+ || 4+
|}

Wargear Options:
*This model may replace its Reaper Chainsword with a Hekaton Siege Claw with an inbuilt twin rad cleanser

Abilities:
*Knights of the FLIPPED OVER TABLE!!!
*Really fucking huge and fucking scary
*FUCK THAT BITCH IS CRAZY!!!:
:*This model charges 4D3 instead of 2D6, but, In the Charge Phase, she must try to charge the closest enemy unit if possible. In addition, Roll D6 each time she suffers 2 damage or more from a single attack; on a 4+, the damage she suffered is halved (rounding up).

*SHIT’S GETTING WEIRD GUYS!!!:
:*This model has a 3+ invulnerability save; except against attacks which would hit or wound it on a roll of 6+, in which case this model only has a 6+ invulnerability against these attacks. In addition to this at the beginning of each of your turns roll a D6 for the current turn number (eg. If it’s your second turn you roll two dice), for each roll of 4+ this model may add 1 to its casting a denying rolls until the start of your next turn.

*Radioactive wrath: Ingrid's ancient weaponry literally gives those hit by it cancer, even ethereal beings and electronics are effected by the gamma waves produced by her, and watching your comrades body swell before your eyes with cancerous growths and ooze puss is liable to make you advance in the opposite direction to the enemy.
:*Units damaged by this model suffer a -1 to their leadership characteristic until the next turn.

Ingrid, the Infinitely Prolonged and Infinitely Insane is psyker and may cast and deny two powers a turn. She knows smite and Beckon Unreality.
*Beckon Unreality: Ingrid can channel her bizarre effect on real space, and channel it towards a single target, to the great discomfort of said target.
**WC 8, if manifested select an enemy unit (including characters, even if they are not the closest unit) of the caster. Until the start of your next, that unit suffers minus 1 to its movement, advance and charge distances, minus 1 to all its hit rolls and minus 1 to its invulnerability saves.

Faction Keywords: Imperium, Angry, Knight House Apoplectic

Keywords: Titanic, Vehicle, Knights Apoplectic, Character, Ingrid, the Infinitely Prolonged and Infinitely Insane

====Commander of the Knights Apoplectic, Lady DAKKADAKKADAKKA====
The Angry Custodes most powerful knight, piloted by the originally named Artemis Farber, and was given her... title by the Angry Custodes because of the knight she pilots, a Acastus Knight Porphyrion, the most powerful knight ever made, packing guns which give Warhound titans penis envy. Artemis did not start her life as a knight pilot however, she used to be an Adeptus Mechanicus adept who was employed by the knights original owner along with many other such adepts to maintain the knight Porphyrion, until one day (while she providing ground support in the form of shooting stuff) the Porphyrion's pilot was ripped out of their pilot compartment (along with the armoured door) by a Keeper of Secrets while fighting a Slaanesh incursion. Being Mechanicus, Ingrid and her fellow adepts were made furious by such abuse of a knight (the pilot could go fuck himself though) and as one they advanced on the pilot-less knight and the encroaching demons, fighting a bitter battle around the monstrous machines legs, being almost a match for the demonic horde if it wasn't for the Keeper of Secrets who kept picking them off one by one.

As the adepts fell from hundreds strong to a handful the survivors and Artemis made their way up the knights body for higher ground only to be dragged back down into the horde to be abused in a suitably Slaanesh like fashion, until the only one left, standing atop the knight, was Artemis, weaponless, and starring into the eyes of the Keeper of Secrets, as it began to climb up to finish her off. In fear (although she would never admit it now) Artemis stumbled back and away from the towering demon, and fell into the Knights pilot compartment, landing butt first on the pilots seat. A normal human would have still been fucked at this point, as piloting even a knight requires considerable cybernetic augmentation, but Artemis was a Mechanicus adept, most of her body was already machine, and she had the implants she needed to interact with the Knights mind impulse link. And so, gritting her teeth and starring down the Keeper of Secrets as it reached for her, Artemis connected herself, for the first time, to the knights machine spirit.

When Mechanicus and PDF reinforcements arrived on the scene, they were greeted by a charred and blasted landscape, and by the sight of the Keeper of Secrets lying dismembered on the ground as the Knight Porphyrion repeatedly tea bagged/smashed its crotch region into the demons face while Artemis screaming "EAT NUTSACK YOU FUCKING FAGGOT!!!" For a while the Mechanicus grudgingly accepted her for her valorous act/prevented the knight from falling into enemy hands, but after a few hundred years it became apparent that Artemis's mind had been warped by suddenly connecting to the knight (a process which normally requires decades of training and preparation) and the Mechanicus would have tried to replace her if she hadn't met the Angry Custodes first, or more specifically, the Knights Apoplectic, who recognised her fury and tactical genius and invited her into their ranks. Any Mechanicus priests who tried to interject into the matter were found moments latter to have been kicked very hard in the genitals, and before the masters of mars could be informed of what was happening, Artemis and her Knight had already joined the Angry Custodes.

Although she is the latest knight to join the Angry Custodes ranks she has quickly established herself as their leader, on part because she is the most knowledgeable among them on tactics and mechanics, but mostly because she has the largest knight fitted with the largest guns.

Commander of the Knights Apoplectic, Lady DAKKADAKKADAKKA is a single model. She is equipped with two twin Magna Lascannons, one Lascannon, one Autocannon and an Ironstorm Missile Pod. She may also crush any fool that thinks they have genitals large enough to think that they can fight her in melee with her Titanic Feet.
{| border=1 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=4 align=left
|- valign=top
! Name !! M !! WS !! BS !! S !! T !! W !! A !! Ld !! Sv !! Pts
|-
| Commander of the Knights Apoplectic, Lady DAKKADAKKADAKKA || * || * || * || 9 || 9 || 30 || 3 || 9 || 3+ || 900
|}
<br style="clear: both; height: 0px;" /><br>
{| border=1 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=4 align=right
|- valign=top
! Ranged Weapon !! Range !! Type !! S !! AP !! D !! Abilities !! Points 
Per Weapon
|-
| Autocannon || 48" || Heavy 2 || 7 || -1 || 2 || - || 20
|-
| Helios Defence Missiles || 60" || Heavy 2 || 8 || -2 || 3 || Add 1 to all hit rolls made for this weapon against targets that can Fly.
Subtract 1 from the hit rolls made for this weapon against all other targets. 
|| 40
|-
| Ironstorm Missile Pod || 72" || Heavy D6 || 5 || -1 || D3 || This weapon can target units that are not visible to the bearer. || 16
|-
| Lascannon || 48" || Heavy 1 || 9 || -3 || D6 || - || 25
|-
| Twin Magna Lascannon || 72" || Heavy 2D3 || 12 || -4 || 6 || This weapon may not be used to make Overwatch attacks. || 100
|-
| Titanic Feet || Melee || Melee || User || -2 || D3 || Make 3 hit rolls for each attack made with this weapon, instead of 1. || 0
|}
{| border=1 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=4 align=right
|- valign=top
! Remaining W !! M !! WS !! BS
|-
| 23-30+ || 10” || 2+ || 2+
|-
| 16-22 || 8” || 3+ || 3+
|-
| 9-15 || 6” || 4+ || 4+
|-
| 1-8 || 4” || 5+ || 5+
|} 

Wargear Options:
*This model may replace its Autocannon with a Lascannon.
*This model may replace its Lascannon with an Autocannon.
*This model may replace its Ironstorm Missile Pod with Helios Defence Missiles.

Abilities:
*Knights of the FLIPPED OVER TABLE!!!
*Really fucking huge and fucking scary

*Ion Shields: WHAT THE FUCK EVEN ARE ION'S DOING BLOCKING BULLETS?!!! THAT MAKES NO FUCKING SENSE!!!
:*This model has a 5+ invulnerability save against shooting attacks.

*DAKKADAKKADAKKA: It may be true that you can never achieve MAXIMIUM DAKKA!!! (Itz a zoggin tragedy, a real morking shame) lady dakka comes close, firing some many bullets that time and space begins to warp under the sheer, undiluted weight of so much dakka, and when reality begins to groan under such beautiful destruction, lady dakka’s guns finally give out, creating such perfect silence and peace that you almost forget the terror and awe which proceeded it.
:*in the shooting phase before this unit fires her weapons, if this model did not move this turn, then you may choose to activate this ability. If you do so, '''Lady DAKKADAKKADAKKA''' can fire all of her weapons twice, but you must Subtract 1 from the hit rolls this shooting phase.

*THREE SIXTY NO SCOPE HEAD SHOT BITCHES!!!: During her youth, lady dakka played a lot of counter strike, call of duty and last of us multiplayer. It was during this time she developed and honed her reflexes, and a lot of these skills transferred to the piloting of her knight (along with teabagging/muffling her defeated foes).
:*in the shooting phase before this unit fires her weapons, if this model did not move this turn, then you may choose to activate this ability instead of the ''DAKKADAKKADAKKA'' ability. If you do so, determine which three enemy units are the closest to this model, and randomly choose a unit. '''Lady DAKKADAKKADAKKA''' may the only target that unit, but can re-roll failed hit and wound rolls in this shooting phase.

*Commander of the Knights Apoplectic: WE CAN'T LET THE FUCKING BITCH SEE US DIE WITHOUT PUTTING UP A GOOD FIGHT!!! SHE'LL BRING US BACK TO LIFE JUST SO SHE CAN FUCKING KILL US!!!
:*Roll a dice each time an '''ANGRY KNIGHTS''' and '''KNIGHTS APOPLECTIC''' model is destroyed within 6" of '''Lady DAKKADAKKADAKKA''', before removing the model as a casualty. On a 4+ that model musters one last surge of anger before succumbing to its wounds; it can either shoot with one of its weapons as if it were the Shooting Phase, or make a single attack as if it were the Fight Phase. In addition, this model has a 5+ invulnerability save against shooting attacks, if your army is Battle-forged, you receive an additional D3 command points if '''Lady DAKKADAKKADAKKA''' is your warlord. 

Faction Keywords: Imperium, Angry, Knight House Apoplectic

Keywords: Titanic, Vehicle, Knights Apoplectic, Character, Commander of the Knights Apoplectic, Lady DAKKADAKKADAKKA

====Æthelred the Creeded====
Once a normal knight stationed on Cadia, Æthelred had fought against many black crusades as a mercenary under the command of the Lord Castellan of Cadia, Ursarkar E. Creed (that’s CREEEEEEEEEDDDDDDDD!!! To you bitches), and during his employment he had been "Creeded" on numerous occasions into advantageous positions. Unfortunately for Æthelred, he was midway through being Creeded when Creed was kidnapped during the fall of Cadia, which resulted Æthelred and his knight being lost in the void where Creed transports unit too before he deploys them (apparently its full of Vance Mother Fucking Stub's lost Baneblades). It is unknown how long Æthelred was trapped in this realm for, just floating through space like a very fat man in a pool, but it was long enough for him to become extremely pissed off, until the day of the Great Fuckening occurred and the Angry Custodes became a psychic beacon of rage which Æthelred could see even in the Creed realm. It was this beacon of hate which Æthelred learnt to lock onto with his mind and drag himself back into reality, where he always appears during a battle, behind the enemies lines. Unfortunately for the Knight, as soon as he has finished going rampant through the enemies lines he is dragged (kicking and swearing) back to the realm between realities, but even though he is never around for very long he is deeply admired by the Angry Custodes whenever he turns up (LOOK!!! THE SURPRISED FUCKERS HERE AGAIN, THIS IS GOING TO BE A CUNTING GOOD FIGHT!!!)

Æthelred the Creeded is a single model. He is armed with a Reaper Chainsword, a Stormspear Rocket Pod, a Heavy Stubber, a Thermal Cannon and may crush his foes beneath his Titanic Feet.
{| border=1 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=4 align=left
|- valign=top
! Name !! M !! WS !! BS !! S !! T !! W !! A !! Ld !! Sv !! Pts
|-
| Æthelred the Creede || * || * || * || 8 || 8 || 24 || 4 || 9 || 3+ || 405
|}
<br style="clear: both; height: 0px;" /><br>
{| border=1 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=4 align=right
|- valign=top
! Ranged Weapon !! Range !! Type !! S !! AP !! D !! Abilities !! Points 
Per Weapon
|-
| Reaper Chainsword || Melee || Melee || +6 || -3 || 6 || - || 30
|-
| Titanic Feet || Melee || Melee || User || -2 || D3 || Make 3 hit rolls for each attack made with this weapon, instead of 1. || 0
|-
| Thermal Cannon || 36” || Heavy D6 || 9 || -4 || D6 || If the target is within half range of this weapon,
roll two dice when inflicting damage with it and discard the lowest result. 
| 76
|-
| Heavy Stubber || 36” || Heavy 3 || 4 || 0 || 1 || - || 4
|-
| Stormspear Rocket Pod || 48” || Heavy 3 || 8 || -2 || D6 || - || 45
|}
{| border=1 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=4 align=right
|- valign=top
! Remaining W !! M !! WS !! BS
|-
| 13-24+ || 12” || 2+ || 2+
|-
| 7-12 || 9” || 3+ || 3+
|-
| 1-6 || 6” || 4+ || 4+
|}

Abilities:
*Knights of the FLIPPED OVER TABLE!!!
*Really fucking huge and fucking scary

*Ion Shields: WHAT THE FUCK EVEN ARE ION'S DOING BLOCKING BULLETS?!!! THAT MAKES NO FUCKING SENSE!!!
:*This model has a 5+ invulnerability save against shooting attacks.

*CREEEEEEEEEDDDDD!!!: Every so often Æthelred will manage to claw himself back to reality, only to find himself in another battle, not that he minds, but if he ever meets Creed again he's going to "RIP THE FUCKER SO MANY NEW SHIT HOLES THAT HE'LL TURN INTO HIS OWN FUCKING EYE OF TERROR THE CHEATING CUNT!!!"
:*When you set up '''Æthelred the Creeded''' during deployment, you can set it aside instead of being placed on the battlefield. Then, once all other units have been set up, write down a piece of Terrain on the battlefield which has no enemy units inside of it or within 9” of it (NOTE that you do not need to tell your enemy what a piece of Terrain it before turn 2). At the start of your second turn, you must reveal your hidden model; set up this model on and/or entirely within 9" the piece of Terrain that was written down, and more than 1" away from any enemy models. the Titan will then behave normally in the following phases. Your opponent is contractually required the shout “CREEEEEEDDDDDD!” At this point.

*WHERE THE FUCK AM I NOW?!!!: Æthelred is always surprised and unready when he pops back into reality, but he makes up for this by being extremely pissed off.
:*If you used the ''CREEEEEEEEEDDDDD!!!'' ability then this model suffers -1 to all its hit rolls until your next turn. In addition however, this model also adds 2 to its attack charecteristic until your next turn.

*FUCK YOU I’M NOT DONE YET!!!: Æthelred‘s time on the battlefield is fleeting, and he is liable to be dragged back to Creeds realm before he has finished his work, screaming “FUCK YOU CREED I WAS ABOUT TO FIST THE HERETICAL CUNT!!!”
:*Once this model has been deployed at the beginning of each of your turns after this roll a D6 and add the number of turns this model has been on the battlefield for. If this value equals 5+ then this model is removed from the battlefield but not slain (if the game ends before this model returns however then it is counted as slain). After this has happened however, at the beginning of each of your turns roll a D6 and add the number of turns it has been absent for (this effect does not activate if the model is slain), on a 6+ this model may be redeployed onto the battlefield more than 9” away from enemy units, and suffers -1 to all its hit rolls and adds 2 to its attack charecteristic until your next turn.

Faction Keywords: Imperium, Angry, Knight House Apoplectic

Keywords: Titanic, Vehicle, Knights Apoplectic, Character, Æthelred the Creeded