Heresy: Difference between revisions

From 2d4chan
Jump to navigation Jump to search
← Older editNewer edit →
VisualWikitext
Line 11: Line 11:


The trials for heresy are broad, but the majority of them occur [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jViTte8VAzU&feature=g-vrec like this], or [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1BxFlmb6S6E this], or even [http://youtu.be/Tym0MObFpTI?t=6m17s this].
The trials for heresy are broad, but the majority of them occur [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jViTte8VAzU&feature=g-vrec like this], or [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1BxFlmb6S6E this], or even [http://youtu.be/Tym0MObFpTI?t=6m17s this].
==Inquisitors==
Witch Hunters from Warhammer Fantasy are usually recruited from those who had come dangerously close to heretics or Chaos mutants, but who had themselves been spared. Their training is regimented and involves self-flagellation as well as group flagellation to give a high tolerance for pain, constant schooling so that all prayers and religious works concerning Sigmar can be recited by heart simply by being asked for specific page and paragraph number, and tests with a higher mortality rate than facing an actual Chaos incursion. [[Chaos Spawn]] are brought into more elite classes to harden the minds of the young recruits against the taint of Chaos and to teach them how to fight that which is unnatura-- oh nooo'''GRAGHBBGEBBLELBGBELGBLEL''' *Ahem*. They are taught the use of martial weapons, both large and imposing like the titular Warhammer to bootknives which can be brought to bear against those thinking they are merely being briefed on situations. Poisons, wilderness survival (in all climates of the world), and general knowledge of the regions of the world are taught to any who manage to make it thus far as knowledge is far more dangerous than weaponry.
Witch Hunters are familiarized with all forms of codes and secret languages known in the Warhammer World, with the exception of arcane scripts which they are taught only to recognize but not to read. Those who manage to pass all other forms of training are taught how to use crossbows and flintlock pistols, which are blessed with each bullet they fire being inscribed with prayers to cause maximum damage to the unnatural forces of the world.
Those deemed particularly possessing of zeal are given access to tainted texts recovered from everything from Necromancer Covens to Chaos Cults. Generally speaking, the information in these are histories of heretics as well as all the knowledge available to those on the other side of the fourth wall who read the Army Books and codices of the games.
Once recruits pass their trials they are then depending on their specialties either armed with crossbows (which is why rather than BLAMming, execution may come in the form of a FWIP instead) and assigned to city bastions or to patrol groups, or are sent out on their own to follow any rumor of heresy and pass judgement on those they find.


==Extra heresy==
==Extra heresy==

Revision as of 00:20, 20 October 2016

+++ Any person who speaks ill of the Emperor, the Imperium, cites his loyalty to any entity besides the Emperor, defaces holy artifacts or buildings, incites heretical thoughts or actions, talks openly about forbidden subjects and generally behaves in a manner disrespectful to all that is holy and good will have his extremities removed and left to bleed to death, for the Emperor's pleasure. The body will then be burned to ensure no taint remains. +++ The Imperial Infantryman's Uplifting Primer, Art 6741/09a +++

"Beware the alien, the heretic, and the mutant."
-- Thought for the Day.

~Since the time of Sigmar Himself, we have been no more than a flickering beacon of hope amidst a sea of despair and corruption, but never before have we faced so many dangers. We must suffer the simple-minded liberalism of our burgomeisters, the sanctioning of magic use, the heresy of false prophets and religions, the arrogance of the Arch-lectors, and the convoluted plots of the Dark Gods - the rot has sunk deep into the flesh of the Empire, where even now it festers and grows. The time has come to acts and only within this proud and ancient order lies the strength of will, the zeal, and the righteous fury required to save us. They call us Witch Hunters, in their fear and ignorance, without even the slightest idea of the monstrous deeds we must commit on their behalf.~

HERESY must be regarded with the appropriate severity.

In Warhammer 40,000, heresy (or HERESY!) is the most severe accusation the Imperium can make against one of its citizens. It is almost always punishable by death. Heresy involves willingly consorting with Chaos, which the Imperium gravely forbids, and anyone guilty of merely suggesting anything good about Chaos, or American pop music, will receive a fist-fuck of Inquisitorial proportions when they least expect it. The other common form of heresy is any blasphemy against or defamation of the Emperor and/or the Imperium, which basically entails saying anything even remotely bad about either one. The other form involves saying anything against the Imperial Creed, which details pretty much everything not related to the veneration of the Empra.

The trials for heresy are broad, but the majority of them occur like this, or this, or even this.

Extra heresy

Furries, the most common source of extra heresy

Extra heresy is a decree recently enacted by local Commissar Fuklaw. While we're still a bit sketchy on the details, it is clearly mentioned that Xenos love is Extra heretical (that just makes it even more appealing) but it is a well known fact that anything remotely related to Jersey Shore, Justin Bieber, Miley Cyrus or anything Western pop music is extra extra heretical, and so is furfaggatory.....weeelll unless you're one of the Space Wolves, anyway. After all, they were just badass space Vikings until a certain update and string of model releases (We're looking at you thunderwolves and Canis). *BLAM*HERESY!!! LYCANTHROPY IS NOT THE SAME AS WEARING FUR SUITS AND PRANCING AROUND LIKE FAIRIES WHILE CHANTING "FRIENDSHIP IS MAGIC"*BLAM**BLAM**BLAM* Punishment is still the generic execution by your local commissar... those dic*BLAM* -Most virtuous and excellent officers of the Emperor. Actually, if the Emperor saw all this shit, he'd have a single manly teardrop from his eye.

What isn't heretical (40k)

The Imperium's patented heresy detector.

Much like the whole Rule 34 and Rule 35 gig, there are a few things that aren't heresy. Here's a short and general list:

  • The immortal God-Emperor of the Imperium of Man
  • Veneration of the immortal Emperor
  • Dying for the Emperor in the most manly way possible.
  • Dying for the Emperor in as many ways as possible HERESY!!! LIVING MORE THAN ONCE IS CHAOS WORSHIP Life is the currency of the Emperor! (Spend it well... and not on heresy)
  • Nearly dying for the Emperor while doing something badass as many times as you can before you actually die for the Emperor
  • Brutally slaughtering and burning heaps of xenos, mutants, heretics and most especially Modern Pop Fans, for the God Emperor of Mankind. (If you can live long enough to fire that flashlight that is--)
  • Discovering new planets so the Emperor can have even more wars. Unsullied planets + war = More burning Heretics for the Emperor, hurrah!
  • Building gigantic Gothic cathedrals the size of sky scrapers for the Emperor.
  • Rendering said cathedrals spaceworthy.
  • Praising of the Emperor.
  • Hailing to the High Lords of Terra/Administratum/Ecclesiarchy- except when they commit heresy.
  • accusing random people of HERESY!!!
    • *BLAM*
  • Why are you still reading this instead of venerating the motherfucking Emperor?! You must be a heretic for having doubt! Die heretic scum! *BLAM*

What isn't heretical (Fantasy)

Gallery (40k)

  • The Official Imperial Stamp O' Heresy
    The Official Imperial Stamp O' Heresy
  • Commissar Fuklaw wants to explain a few things to you about Heresy.
    Commissar Fuklaw wants to explain a few things to you about Heresy.
  • In the 41st millenium, everything is absolutely heretical.
    In the 41st millenium, everything is absolutely heretical.
  • Heresy and you
    Heresy and you
  • Deliciously heretical.
    Deliciously heretical.
  • Not heresy, probably.
    Not heresy, probably.
  • Sisters can't love Sisters!
    Sisters can't love Sisters!
  • Half-Xenos cosplaying commissars? EXTRA HERETICAL.
    Half-Xenos cosplaying commissars? EXTRA HERETICAL.
  • What IS heresy?
    What IS heresy?
  • Pro-heresy
    Pro-heresy
  • When viewing this image if the first thing that comes to your mind isn't target practice! or heresy!, then please report to your nearest morale officer for execution. (Unless you hail from Fenris as Leman Russ loves his furry porn) *BLAM*
    When viewing this image if the first thing that comes to your mind isn't target practice! or heresy!, then please report to your nearest morale officer for execution. (Unless you hail from Fenris as Leman Russ loves his furry porn) *BLAM*
  • Should not want... *BLAM* Suffer not the furry to live.
    Should not want... *BLAM* Suffer not the furry to live.
  • Heresy at it's finest..in a horrifying and heretical way, of course.
    Heresy at it's finest..in a horrifying and heretical way, of course.

See Also

Retrieved from "http://2d4chan.org/mediawiki/index.php?title=Heresy&oldid=250146"