High Elves (Warhammer Fantasy)

In Warhammer Fantasy, the High Elves are the original elves and lived on their home circle island/continent/atoll Ulthuan. Then it all went to shit. This is mostly because of hawt magic secks and the Old Ones not closing their goddamned warp gate thingy-majigers. They ripped open a hole in space/time and Chaos flooded out like a pierced beer can. The first Phoenix King, Aenarion, got his shit together and closed the gate. Then a bunch of shit happened and Aenarion disappeared. Eventually Malekith got butthurt over not being picked the next king over his bro Bel Shanaar and started the Dark Elves. Because the Dark Elves actually knew how to fucking fight they pushed really far into Ulthuan and killed Bel Shanaar. Then Caledor I came up, Cosgrove'd Malekith back to the northern reaches of the New World. Then Malekith came back and fucked his shit up good. Then a bunch of other shit happened, the Wood Elves said 'Fuck It' and retreated into the woods. At this point the High Elves are a dying race where every citizen is a soldier because there's so few left they can't support a standing army.

New army book

8th edition High Elf book is out, and the summary is that while some notoriously overpowered things (Teclis, Book of Hoeth) were nerfed, they weren't nerfed into the ground. Better yet, with the cavalry being core again and the points and powers adjusted, the only thing that's still (relatively) useless is Shadow Warriors (although even they can be made viable at times) and possibly Eltharion. Matt Ward wrote the new book, but has unexpectedly not had the fluff raped or had characters made rapists. Females were even (re)added, the Everqueen and her servants! Overall, we got off very well and are possibly a bit stronger than before. But what did you expect from the only Fantasy army with Marines?

Fluff

The Golden Time

Golden Time was before the Phoenix Kings. There isn't much fluff on it, as it is supposed to be the lost age of myth. Only that Ulthuan's kingdoms were run by the Everqueen alone who lead out a positive if hippy-driven jive. Then the warp gates at the world poles collapsed and chaos came, which immediately came after the Elves and fucked their shit up. The Everqueen's magic was mostly for peaceful shit and her soldiers had never faced anything worth mentioning before. The High Elves prayed to their head god, Asuryan, to help them.

Aenarion, the Defender

Aenarion was a world traveler, back in the days when that meant something. He heard some crazy shit was happening at home so he went back, and shit was way more crazy than he heard. Everyone figured the world was ending, and everything that had ever been was pretty much being turned to Swiss cheese by Slaaneshi Daemon cocks while the Bloodthirsters/letters stood back and called them faggots. So Aenarion went to the Shrine of Asuryan to pray. But, as typical of gods, they didn't do a god damned thing (primarily since every god who wants to do good also has an opposite who will fuck things up, so there's a permaban on screwing with mortals apparently which gives Asuryan more time to sit on his ass and contemplate his naval). Aenarion said fuck it and jumped into Asuryan's sacrificing fire, thinking that if he jumped in his god has to do fucking SOMETHING or else it'd be a way to an hero and not be around for the heresy that was to come. However, Asuryan actually DID get off his ass for once (kind of) as Aenarion was imbued with the power of Asuryan. He went outside the shrine, saw some Daemons, and fucked their shit up good by one hitting the biggest Daemon he saw and taking it's weapon to kill the rest before Slaanesh could even jizz in his pants. Elves all over suddenly saw someone with balls and promptly started cosplaying him, and because all elves look alike Daemons started taking psychology checks every time they saw pointy ears. Caledor the Dragontamer, who was like the first Teclis (but not anemic) swore fealty to Aenarion and gave him the death star plans to fucking over Chaos by making a black hole of magic somewhere so Daemons couldn't menifest in the world. Soon everyone else asked to be on team Aenarion and gave him whatever shit they had that wasn't full of cockholes until the elves decided there'd be two rulers of their race from that point on, the elected king and the hereditary queen (one of the perks to being king is he bangs the Everqueen for a year until she gets a daughter to inherit the throne after her, but after that point they go back to their spouses and pretend it wasn't the best year of their life). However, Chaos attacked Avelorn where the Everqueen lived, and killed her in a way that is apparently beyond description, and her children were lost. Aenarion was pissed. So he went to a far off island and drew the sword from the stone. Except this sword was the Widowmaker a sword of Khaine. Khaine is kind of like Rule 63 Khorne but with a penis, and unlike in 40k where he's a giant robot the Eldar use to fuck shit up, he's pure douchebag unleaded and likes fucking with elves more than Daemons do. So the sword, which apparently shapeshifts to whatever kind of weapon you'd like to use the most (Aenarion gets points for the damn thing not turning into a katana or something else stupid) curses you to a really bad fucking end which follows your entire line. Fun, huh? So Aenarion sets off to get it, and along the way everyone from his butler to all the elf gods, INCLUDING Khaine, and even the ghost of the Everqueen tell him he's about to go full retard. He nabs it anyway, and promptly goes apeshit by transforming into a trap version of Kratos. The most fucking crazy of the elves follow him to the westernmost part of Ulthuan where he forms a new kingdom built on bloodletters and severed Slaaneshi cocks. Along the way he rescues a witch named Morathi from some Slaaneshi fighters and promptly marries the chick (whether or not she was pregnant beforehand isn't known, but she gives birth to a son he names Malekith). The Nagarythe court becomes all kinds of fucked up, to a degree nobody knows about fully. About this time they realized that the only way to stop the Chaos invasion is to shut off their huge vortex in the big lake in the middle of the continent. After a big fight, they shut it down, but can't quite get rid of it. It would have been an epic win. However, Aenerion got a mortal wound. So he ran back to where he got The Sword of Khaine and puts it back in the rock. From there, his body is never found. He's presumed dead.

Bel Shanaar, the Explorer

A picture of Malekith after Bel Shanaar was named Phoenix King

Crazy thing is, Aenerion had two kids. Malekith, his first, and Bel Shanaar, his second. So you could imagine how pissed Malekith was when his little bro was picked to be the Phoenix King, which pretty fucking pathetic. (Actually they weren't siblings, the original poster appears to have gotten confused. Bel Shanaar was not his brother or even related to him. The real problem was that Yvraine, the new Everqueen was Malekith's half sister. The Council thought it would be a bit fucked up since by law they had to produce a daughter who would be the next Everqueen. They didn't want an Everqueen who had two left hands and extra toes.) That is probably why he didn't become king. He was a whiny little fuck head who had the emotional stabilitity of a sack of rats in a burning meth lab. During this time, Malekith takes all his whining over to the New World and sets up a bunch of colonies and kills off some orcs. He finds the Dwarfs. Bel Shanaar visited the Dwarfs, too, and signed a peace treaty. Yeah, we know how well that went. It's about this time that the Cult of Pleasure begins to spring up. A Slaaneshi cult that was into crazy Slaaneshi things. Malekith found out his mother, Morathi, was a member. Which overall wasn't much of a surprise. Then a few hundred years later Bel Shanaar decides to hold a meeting at the Shrine of Asuryan. Malekith shows up, kills his brother, and jumps through the fire of Asuryan. Asuryan was disappoint. That's when Malekith becomes the Witch King. He proceeded to kill all the princes of Ulthuan that were at the shrine. So was born the first serial killer. What a douche.

Caledor I, the Conqueror

Caledor never liked Malekith. And he was one of the only princes not at the Shrine when Malekith killed everybody. Despite how much he and a bunch of other High Elves didn't like Malekith, lots of elves loved him. So a super fantastical fun Civil War started. It went back and forth, but lots of important folks turn to Malekith's side. Hotek, a priest to the elf god Vaul, steals a the super awesome Hammer of Vaul and runs off to join Malekith. This is probably around the time the Ring of Hotek is made, which took a lot of Douchebaggery to form. Caledor fought really hard, and chased a lot of Dark Elves back to Nagarythe. That's when Malekith pulled a 'Just as Planned' and started to mess with the Vortex in the middle of Ulthuan. What Malekith's wizards do is sink most of Nagarythe, and lots of the kingdom to the south, Tiranoc. Laughing, the majority of the Dark Elves load up in their ships and head north. Some Dark Elves remain, and continue to mess up the High Elves. Due to this, the High Elves stopped talking with their colonies in the new world due to having more important shit to do. That's when the finish the first of a bunch of defensive citadels to help keep the Dark Elves at bay. It worked pretty well. But the Dark Elves started to come back. Caledor fights back, pushes the last of the Dark Elves off Ulthuan. Thing is, on the way back, they chase him. His boat gets attacked, and surrounded. But instead of being captured, the magnificent bastard decides to jump into the ocean. He dies, of course. But the Emo Elves didn't get him.

Caledor II, the Warrior

Caledor II was the kid of Caledor I. However, as all kids are, he was a jackass. The Dark Elves shut themselves up in their home land. Mostly because Malekith plotted a scheme for epic lols. About this time, contact with the Old World and the Dwarfs was reestablished. They heard there was some crazy civil war going on, but they didn't really understand why something like that would happen. What Malekith decided to do was fuck with the Dwarfs. But not only did they attack the dwarfs, they dressed up like High Elves and fought the dwarfs. This left the Dwarf King, Gotrek Starbreaker, sending envoys back to the High Elves asking, "What the fuck, dude?" Caledor II, though, ignored them. Completely. Finally the Dwarfs began to demand stuff, which got their diplomats shaved. The Dwarfs, pissed off, spend a bit of time collecting the largest forces of Dwarfs ever seen before beginning their assaults on the Elven colonies in the Old World. This starts what is called "The War of the Beard (The War of Vengeance)". Its about this time that the item "Cloak of Beards" is created. After awhile Caledor II crosses the sea and launches an attack on the Dwarfs. He kills Gotrek's son, then goes back in time to get ready for Hunting Season. At this point it's all downhill for the High Elves. Caledor II's bro gets killed by a Dwarf whose last name is changed to "Elfbane" after the feat, and the colony of Athel Maraya is wiped off the map. The Elves try and attack a few Dorf Fortresses, but are obliterated and sent scurrying back to their colonies, pursued by a souped-up Dwarven miner. Few hundred years later Caledor II comes back and launches an attack that's supposed to kill off the dwarfs. That didn't really go according to plan. In a battle with King Gotrek himself, Caledor II is obliterated. They take the Phoenix Crown, and heads back to their mountains. The Elves try to draw them out of the mountains but the Dwarfs refuse. Just as they're lining up to kamikaze Karaz-a-Karak, the Dorf capital, they hear Malekith is trying to rape Ulthuan. The High Elves in the Old World are ordered to get their ass back to their island, but some refuse, becoming Wood Elves (who continue to get consistently slaughtered by Beastmen and Dwarfs).

Caradryel, The Peacemaker

Caradryel, wondering why the fuck he was so screwed

See, while the High Elves were fighting the Dwarfs, Malekith took a bunch of his ships and made a fortress in northern Ulthuan. After a long time without a king, the High Elves decided to name Caradryel their leader. While he wasn't the jackass Caledor II was, he could barely defend his lands because of the drain the War of the Beard took. The only real thing he could do was pull out of the Old World. However, some of the colonists refused to go. During the years, some of them got awfully fond of the place. They told Caradryel to shove it, and retreaded into the woods. These guys become the Wood Elves.These guys are pretty fuckin' hardcore. After a long defensive war of trying not to get his ass kicked, Caradryel dies peacefully like the motherfucking pussie that he is.

Other Kings

Lots of other kings come in here. Tethlis the Slayer, who came after Caradryel, managed to obliterate the Dark Elves from Ulthuan. He also started a system of formal military training for all High Elf Citizens. Other kings start the Swordmasters, build fortresses across the world, and even send guys to help the Empire. Overall its a very slow collapse that's still happening to this day.

Crunch

Alright, this is the fun part.

Special Rules

First and foremost, High Elves some very nice special rules. Almost all High Elf options have the Always Strikes First rule. What's even better, is that this isn't modified by the weapon speed so a High Elf with a Great Weapon STILL Always Strikes First (all you lesser races go after we've had our turns). Then, they also have "Valour of Ages" which means whenever they go against Dark Elves, they may reroll any failed psychology test, which is awesome. Many High Elf troops have the new rule "Martial Prowess" which allows models that have that rule to fight or shoot in one extra rank, which is cumulative with any other rule that lets them shoot in extra ranks (long story short, fuck you we're better and we're gonna stab and or shoot you until you believe it). Spellcasters get a rule called "Lileath's Blessing" which adds a +1 to casting attempts from the Lore of High Magic, the High Elf specific lore. Also, it used to be the case that you needed less core units and could take more rare and special units. This is no longer the case since the arrival of 8th edition, but errata from GWs website says you can have as many multiple units as you like (other armies are now limited to two identical special or rare units in games of less than 3000 points). High Elf horses can get the "Ithilmar Barding" option, which increases armor like regular barding but doesn't affect movement speed. Finally, if you wanted Flame Attacks you've picked the best army for them.

See Also

• Tactics/High Elves

References

• Warhammer Armies: High Elves; Adam Troke, Rick Priestly, Bill King; Games Workshop; 2007; ISBN - 978-1-84154-846-3