Boatmurdered: Difference between revisions
No edit summary |
|||
| Line 7: | Line 7: | ||
Essentially, Boatmurdered is a mysteriously abandoned colony in the mountains resettled by a small group of dwarves and their rulers. For the first several years, Boatmurdered becomes a respectable fortress inhabited by nearly a hundred productive dwarf workers. At this point, the rulers are beset by increasingly hostile waves of elephants and goblins who seek to maim every dwarf who leaves the mountain. One ruler offsets this by constructing a massive device that releases a flood of lava surrounding the fortress, [[Exterminatus|killing all animal and plant life and leaving the surroundings a desolate wasteland]]. | Essentially, Boatmurdered is a mysteriously abandoned colony in the mountains resettled by a small group of dwarves and their rulers. For the first several years, Boatmurdered becomes a respectable fortress inhabited by nearly a hundred productive dwarf workers. At this point, the rulers are beset by increasingly hostile waves of elephants and goblins who seek to maim every dwarf who leaves the mountain. One ruler offsets this by constructing a massive device that releases a flood of lava surrounding the fortress, [[Exterminatus|killing all animal and plant life and leaving the surroundings a desolate wasteland]]. | ||
As time goes on, the increasingly liberal use of this device upsets many of surrounding civilisations, including [[elves]] and even the friendly humans. This cuts off the dwarfs from trade and the outside world, which [[FAIL|goes as well as you can expect]] when a line of increasingly incompetent rulers (either unqualified, hilariously inept or stark raving mad, including one | As time goes on, the increasingly liberal use of this device upsets many of surrounding civilisations, including [[elves]] and even the friendly humans. This cuts off the dwarfs from trade and the outside world, which [[FAIL|goes as well as you can expect]] when a line of increasingly incompetent rulers (either unqualified, hilariously inept or stark raving mad, including one who is ''named'' StarkRavingMad) are left unrestricted, and focus their entire efforts on selfishly building bigger and bigger burial tombs for themselves, while countless working dwarfs die in the process. | ||
Eventually, Mariguana | Eventually, Mariguana (the second ruler of the fortress, having returned for a second term) releases the lava in an attempt to exterminate the local elephant population and accidentally kills a human merchant caravan as well. Then, during the construction of his personal monument, a group of goblins attempts to siege the fortress. He responds to this, and what could only be described as a belt of madness, by releasing the lava '''again'''. The effect of this action is catastrophic, as the lava sets a catapult on fire, creating a smoke cloud that billows throughout the entire fortress and slowly but surely renders all of its occupants insane or consumed with rage. This comes to a head when the ([[Heresy|Self-proclaimed]]) [[God-Emperor of Mankind|God-Emperor of Boatmurdered]] Sankis Gatinbromek, decides to go on a bloody rampage, culminating in him beating an elite marksdwarf to a bloody pulp... did I mention he did this '''WHILE ON FUCKING FIRE'''?. The fire he started spreads throughout the fortress, leading to already-insane dwarven warriors, criminals and lunatics becoming mad berserkers. Within days, the fortress becomes a bloodbath as omnicidal dwarfs kill each other without mercy or thought. The only two survivors of this madness are a young girl, and Guerillamedic, a grizzled veteran and the defacto and final ruler of Boatmurdered. Seeing firsthand the evil that seems to lie at the heart of of Boatmurdered, Guerillamedic abandons the settlement for good, leaving the girl to her fate and promising himself to never return. | ||
Eventually the long abandoned fortress is discovered by | Eventually the long abandoned fortress is discovered by archaeologists... who are then promptly killed by trolls. | ||
==See Also== | ==See Also== | ||
Revision as of 02:28, 27 May 2020
"Welcome to fucking Boatmurdered! Hope you like miasma!"
Boatmurdered is the story of an infamous Dwarf Fortress succession game that originated on Something Awful. Highlights include elephantine genocidal warfare against incessantly moronic-greedy dwarfs and "Fuck the World" levers that drown everything outside of the fortress in an ocean of all-consuming magma. There really is no good way to convey the insanity beyond reading the story itself. This is THE gametale of all time and set the tone of 99% of them.
Basic Summary
Essentially, Boatmurdered is a mysteriously abandoned colony in the mountains resettled by a small group of dwarves and their rulers. For the first several years, Boatmurdered becomes a respectable fortress inhabited by nearly a hundred productive dwarf workers. At this point, the rulers are beset by increasingly hostile waves of elephants and goblins who seek to maim every dwarf who leaves the mountain. One ruler offsets this by constructing a massive device that releases a flood of lava surrounding the fortress, killing all animal and plant life and leaving the surroundings a desolate wasteland.
As time goes on, the increasingly liberal use of this device upsets many of surrounding civilisations, including elves and even the friendly humans. This cuts off the dwarfs from trade and the outside world, which goes as well as you can expect when a line of increasingly incompetent rulers (either unqualified, hilariously inept or stark raving mad, including one who is named StarkRavingMad) are left unrestricted, and focus their entire efforts on selfishly building bigger and bigger burial tombs for themselves, while countless working dwarfs die in the process.
Eventually, Mariguana (the second ruler of the fortress, having returned for a second term) releases the lava in an attempt to exterminate the local elephant population and accidentally kills a human merchant caravan as well. Then, during the construction of his personal monument, a group of goblins attempts to siege the fortress. He responds to this, and what could only be described as a belt of madness, by releasing the lava again. The effect of this action is catastrophic, as the lava sets a catapult on fire, creating a smoke cloud that billows throughout the entire fortress and slowly but surely renders all of its occupants insane or consumed with rage. This comes to a head when the (Self-proclaimed) God-Emperor of Boatmurdered Sankis Gatinbromek, decides to go on a bloody rampage, culminating in him beating an elite marksdwarf to a bloody pulp... did I mention he did this WHILE ON FUCKING FIRE?. The fire he started spreads throughout the fortress, leading to already-insane dwarven warriors, criminals and lunatics becoming mad berserkers. Within days, the fortress becomes a bloodbath as omnicidal dwarfs kill each other without mercy or thought. The only two survivors of this madness are a young girl, and Guerillamedic, a grizzled veteran and the defacto and final ruler of Boatmurdered. Seeing firsthand the evil that seems to lie at the heart of of Boatmurdered, Guerillamedic abandons the settlement for good, leaving the girl to her fate and promising himself to never return.
Eventually the long abandoned fortress is discovered by archaeologists... who are then promptly killed by trolls.
See Also
External Links
Gallery
-
Project: FUCK THE WORLD in operation. -
All burn. -
ALL BURN.
