Macha

This article contains PROMOTIONS! Don't say we didn't warn you.

Go bring up her virginity to her face, I dare you.

Macha is an Eldar Farseer from Dawn of War infamous for being a 4000+ year-old virgin. Like Taldeer, she's another daughter of Eldrad (as far as /tg/ canon is concerned). Usually depicted to be mostly reasonable, outside of relationship matters where she falls into a self pitying, whiny wreck concerning her virginity. Fa/tg/uys masturbate furiously to pictures of her naked (many of which can be seen below). She can be distinguished from other Eldar by her cheek lines and red hair.

Later developments brought about the theory that Macha is destined to be with the Emprah, but due to Eldrad dickery these two will continue being a virgin and comatose corpse-god, respectively. There are also conflicting opinions on whether Macha is actually saving herself for the Emperor and choosing to be a virgin, or if she is simply extremely unlucky and is constantly frustrated as to why she fails to get laid when her body is the hottest piece of ass this grimdark universe has ever seen. For a while, she died, no thanks to C.S. Goto, but she got better (she was only a little dead).

Macha has had anal sex, frequently in fact, but it has always been with a Callidus Assassin masquerading as someone or another. While initially traumatizing for her, Macha has accepted this fact and views the unnamed Callidus as her sort-of girlfriend. Whether this makes Macha bisexual or not (considering that the Callidus always takes male form when they interact) is up for debate. Rumors of her getting laid for real with a mon'keigh fuckbuddy of hers have yet to be confirmed or denied, as the people who try to bring it up keep getting a Singing Spear jammed into their eye sockets. Often drawn by Chink before he left /tg/ for Skullgirls.

She'll be returning in Dawn of War III. Hilariously enough, her unmasked appearance is exactly the same as what /tg/ has always depicted her looking like, right down to the cheek lines and red hair. This has lead to some theories as to this design choice:

1. The Designers are total fa/tg/uys and read this wiki and the boards
2. The Designers want to appease 40k fans by throwing a little fanservice their way
3. The character designer for Macha was a new guy who went looking for character references and didn't realize that all the drawings were just fanon interpretations

Stories Featuring Macha

• Imber
• The Ever Virgin
• Macha's Vacation
• Chris Orksen, Macha gets vanned for trying to pedo-sex human male children.
• Macha writes a fapfic - Macha accidentally frees the Star Child from the Warp.(NSFW)
• The Final Saga of Macha the Ever-Virgin: Extra Large Heresy - Sometimes miracles really do happen. (Even more NSFW)

See Also

• Caerys, another farseer
• Gabriel Angelos, an old crush of Macha's, although he was chem-gelded (which made bedding him out of the question). However, there are rumours that the reason he did not bed her was because he is gay[1]
• Callidus, Macha's stalker that keeps tricking her into thinking she's getting it on with a guy... EVERYDAY. And she falls for it... EVERY TIME.

Gallery

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• File:Macha 2.jpg
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  You better BELIEVE IT.
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  Heresy is in the air!
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  She's our favorite Sexy Loser
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  Macha encounters the faptau
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  Macha while writing her fap-fic
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  Macha and Callidus Wife sharing a tender moment
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  This would be cute if Macha wasn't +4 STR
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  Macha meets Chris-Chan.
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  The man who opened her wraithbone.
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  Plus Four Str Macha arriving home after a long days work
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  Macha has learned to mix sex with violence in her more recent shlickfics. The results are undeniable.
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  The irony fairy must be laughing its ass off right now, given some of Macha's more recent antics.
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  This pic has Macha, boobs, whiskey, porno, heresy, a natural twenty, xenos love, the Emperor, a fallen paladin of sorts, chainmail on the armor on the floor, and -4 STR. The Emperor himself knows not what to make of this.
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  Fucking zap
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  Spending time with the Emperor
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  Bewbs
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  Hanging out with Miriael, Lelith and Celestine

Famous Eldar
Heroes:	Eldrad Ulthran - Illic Nightspear - Prince Yriel - Yvraine Visarch - Sylandri Veilwalker
Phoenix Lords:	Asurmen - Baharroth - Drastanta - Fuegan Irillyth - Jain Zar - Karandras - Maugan Ra
From Dawn of War I:	Farseer Caerys - Farseer Macha - Farseer Taldeer
From Dawn of War II:	Autarch Kayleth - Farseer Elenwe - Farseer Idranel Ranger Ronahn - Warlock Veldoran