Anne McCaffrey

Creator of the boring, boring Dragonriders of Pern SF-Fantasy series (alt title: "Mary Sue Gets A Dragon"). You should only read Pern if your world view allows for flying lizards that are not dragons. Also, if you have been trapped on the Moon or something because Jesus Christ there's a lot of these and pretty much any other book series will entertain you more. If you knew a teenage girl during the '80s that was the slightest bit nerdy, she read at least three Dragonriders books.

McCaffrey has expressed a number of unscientific/crazy opinions including the one that getting a tent-peg up the butt will turn you gay. Though she does have more than one rape scene in her storybooks... hmmmm.

She will always have someone named "john green" in her books, even if it's "J.G." or "Jayge." Her female characters are always described as "not pretty" until it's important to the plot, then she'll dedicate an entire page to how beautiful this "not pretty" girl's face is.