Farsqueaker

A new device that has enabled the once bitterly backstabbing race of Skaven in Warhammer Fantasy to communicate across long distances. The Farsqueaker is a creation of Clan Skryre which is, rather than a self-destructing Gatling gun or flamethrower, an invasive device that functions as a telephone.

The Pitch

"Do you want to order pestilens' new Tilean-flavoured pizza without getting killed by Rat-hounds on the way?" "With the FARSQUEAKER you can!*"

"Want to know who your traitorous spies are spying on without getting too close to the spies that are obviously after your tail-tail?" "Get a FARSQUEAKER!*"

"Want to reserve a place at the beautiful ass-ass of your local Birther without waiting in line like a slave while Blackrats laugh-laugh at you?" "Do it with the FARSQUEAKER!*"

"Are you a rich-rich Skaven? Of course you aren't, and that's why we of the greatest clan, Clan Skryre of course, made this portent of technology refined for our customers different needs-needs. You don't have two whole ears after all, remember? You're poor! So why pay for both when we can offer at 1.5 slave tokens more-more our special 1 1/2 device for your whole and half-chewed ears? You'll be the most spiffy-spiffy Clanrat in your tunnel!"

"Remember to scratch a line on our tunnel-channel: skryrules.dig."

• Results may vary. If your remaining ear gets big and rots away while using this device, blame Clan Moulder! It's totally those guys' fault-fault!

Controversy

>"hey, tokens' stealer-thief! This squeaker doesn't work!" >"of course it doesn't, silly-customer,you forgot to buy the batteries" >puts two green-coloured rocks inside the squeaker (actually a rat with a helmet on its head and a broken antenna on its tail) and wakes(turn on) the device >"see it works now! Listen" >fake a call and gives the squeaker back >"it's 2 tokens for tech support" >"t-thanks skryre" >clan skryre: we don't know how it works but we'll always* work it for you