Hats
In the grim darkness of the far future, the size of your hat determines how important you are. If your hat appears to be larger than those around you, you may be an important person!
You do still have to kiss the ass of anyone with Pauldrons, but whatchagonnado?
Consult your local imperial administration office for further instructions if you believe you have a large hat.
Note that if your hat has frills, you may instead be a little girl. Should this be the case, instead contact your local shrine maiden.
