List of /tg/'s magic items

This page is in need of cleanup. Srsly. It's a fucking mess.

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over the years /tg/ has created a variaty of magic items for use in various games most are simple short joke items although there is the ocasional bit of Awesome and Magical realm however due to this articles current lack of images unless your boss gives a fuck about text that is unlikely to cause PROMOTIONS (except for the fact your looking at non work related websites at work get to work you lazy bum you need that money to feed your traditional games adiction) while some of these items are for specific games most of them have no stats related to them and can be put it most games

Joke items

items in this section will be displayed in this format sorted in alphabetic order

• item name
  • desription of item
• item name
  • description of item

• Arrow of Euarere
  • A silver arrow, suspended on a string. It always points to the person holding the string.
• Amulet of Extra Amulet Slot
  • This amulet allows you to gain the benefit from two magical amulets rather than one. (It cannot be further enchanted.
• Amulet of Feather Fall
  • When worn, this amulet turns into a feather and falls to the ground.
• Attentive Guardsman's Pike
  • These ornate and deadly-looking ceremonial pikes are reach weapons and appear to weigh at least 20 lbs, and that's not counting the weight of the fluttering banners that can be unfurled for parade use. Constructed of shadowstuff, they weigh one pound, and inflict only a single point of damage on an attack, being almost entirely for show, although they also have the unique property of remaining in place, when set (although unable to support more than 20 lbs), allowing a 'resting his eyes' guardsman to prop it up and leave it standing under its own power, while his hand sags off of it.
• Attentive Guardsman's Tabard
  • A dozen of these tabards were fashioned for palace guardsmen in the Empire of Sard, 250 miles from the nearest enemy. The bearer is placed under a glamour that causes him to appear alert and awake, even if his eyes are closed and he is snoring lightly.
• Axe of Big Numbers
  • This axe shouts "Big numbers baby, come on!" whenever it is swung, but always deals 1 damage or less.
• Axe of Empathy +5
  • Every time you hit something with this +5 greataxe, you get dealt an equal amount of damage. Both you and the thing you hit are then healed the amount of damage dealt by the axe, even if either are dead. The Axe hopes you have learned your lesson.
• Axe of Pain
  • The axe is always moaning and groaning with pain.
• Baby Oil
  • An aphrodisiac made from the finest mashed babies. Strangely unpopular in the upper planes. Bunch of judgmental prudes.
• Bag of Faerie Gold
  • This sack appears to be full of gold coins and jewels. When one attempts to spend them, however, the glamer on them soon vanishes, revealing them to be nothing but leaves and pebbles. Obviously, most shopkeepers will not be happy about this, and no amount of 'we didn't know, I swear!' will change their mind.
• Bag of Holding
  • This item functions as a normal backpack, however when attempting to retrieve an item, a calm female voice tells them there is a wait time of 4d10 minutes before they can retrieve their item (actual time is stated time plus 6d6 additional minutes). During this wait, the bag plays either annoying music or advertisements for the bag's creator's other products/services. Upon attempting to retrieve an item, there is a chance that the wrong item is retrieved, or that the intended item is simply missing. Obtaining the original item requires an additional 4d10+6d6 minutes and has only a 5% chance of success.
• Bag of Holding (Alternate)
  • This sack needs a hug!
• Bag of Trick
  • This bag operates like a Bag of Tricks, except it only works once a week and produces a rat each time it is used.
• Banana Walkie-Talkies
  • There exists two, and only two, of these items in the world. One of which is possessed by a cranky, lonely half-orc. It appears to be an innocuous wooden banana with a coat of faded yellow paint. When an end (doesn't matter which one) is placed against your ear, you can hear a ringing followed by a *click* and a half-orc yelling at you for waking him up at this ungodly hour. If you drop the banana or "hang up," the call ends. If you stay and listen, the half-orc will yell at you, call out obscenities, and start going on about his daily problems and mishaps in his love life. Every so often (2% chance/day), the banana will ring while you are sleeping and the half-orc will want to talk to you about his problems.
• Barrel of Holding
  • This large wooden barrel measuring (square root of [three divided by pi]) feet in diameter and 5 feet in height can hold up to 15 cubic feet of matter.
• Belt of Pants
  • This belt creates illusory pants on the wearer. The wearer can suppress the illusion at will
• Boogie Skeleton
  • This pile of bones is small, such as one that might be obtained from a bird or a toad, though it can look as though it came from any creature. When a song is sung or played in the vicinity of the skeleton, it begins to dance appropriately. As soon as the music stops, it collapses into the pile of bones again. The skeleton, when dancing, can be no larger than Diminutive.
• Book of Canon
  • A book that automatically transforms into a copy of the holy book of any religion, translated into the language the user is most familiar with.
• Book of Confusion
  • The letters in this book always appear to be upside down, even if viewed from different directions at the same time. The book is a bad novel about zombies.
• Book of Curses
  • When opened, the book verbally berates anyone in the immediate vicinity, calling into question their combat ability, intellect, personal hygiene, lineage and profession of their mothers, and other delightful insults. Once closed the book continues shouting (although it is muffled) until placed inside a bag or some other similar container for 1d4+1 minutes and ignored. Replying to the book in any other way causes the insults to get louder and more childish the more time you spend replying to it.
• Book of Exalted Deeds
  • Contains a listing of some of the finest houses ever sold and the specifics of the titles to the properties.
• Boots of Levitation
  • These boots levitate a few inches off the ground when not worn.
• Boots of Stylishness
  • Knee high black boots that are always clean and shiny. They never take in water, thus feet are always dry.
• Boots of Walking
  • The wearer of the boots cannot run, nor can he take a double move action, and takes a -5 to Tumble checks. These boots are made for walkin', and that's just what they'll do.
• Bottle of Air
  • It's a bottle. Full of air. Congratulations.
• Bottomless Beer Mug
  • Any liquid poured into this mug treats the bottom as incorporeal, but solid objects don't
• Bowl of Comfortable Warmth
  • Any liquid in the bowl will feel comfortably warm, so icy cold water will feel like it's a bit over room temperature. Do note, however, that it's still icy cold water, it just feels warmer.
• Box of Mild Interest
  • If this box is held in two hands and shaken, taking a standard action, it may generate an effect (all spell effects are CL 3). Roll 1d20.
    • 1: Hold Person on the user
    • 2: Hold Person on the closest non-using creature
    • 3: Dancing Lights as desired by the holder
    • 4: Sleep on the holder
    • 5: Sleep on a creature of the holder’s choice
    • 6: Holder takes 1 force damage, no save
    • 7-20: No effect
• Breastplate of Secret Detection
  • If the wearer of this breastplate gains a piece of information that is somehow connected to the concealment of a hidden conspiracy or plot, a live and still wet red herring forms on the inside of the armor.
• Bunyan’s Belt
  • When worn, causes an enormous, bushy black beard to appear on the wearer’s face.
• Cape of Resistance
  • When this item is placed on any living thing it somehow manages to fall off, untie itself, slip past the owner’s neck entirely, or otherwise avoid being worn.
• Case of the Litigator
  • Translates any document placed in the case into legal jargon; non-reversible. Does not confer the ability to understand legal jargon.
• Cat of Schrodinger
  • When this cat is not being observed in any way it is both dead and alive. When something observes it, it suddenly becomes either dead or alive with a 50% chance of either.
• Chair of Steadiness
  • This chair can be moved but cannot be tipped over by anything less than a DC 35 Strength check.
• Charles
  • This small, unremarkable figurine of a gnome refuses to be called anything but Charles. No other name will leave the lips of the speaker. It has no other powers.
• Chime of Interruption
  • This instrument can be struck once every round, which takes a standard action. On any round the chime is activated the user may ready one action without spending an action to do so.
• Chime of Opening
  • Commonly affixed to or near doors, when pressed it emits a sound on the interior of the owner’s home to let them know guests have arrived.
• Chime of Opening (Alternate)
  • When struck against a solid surface, this chime emits a loud click, and opens along its length, to reveal a tiny compartment adequate to conceal a single 'smoke' worth of pipeweed or a blowgun needle. When the compartment is closed, it is seamless and can be detected only with a DC 20 Search check. If hit with an instrument such as a small mallet, it chimes.
• Cloak of Billowing
  • This black and silver cloak will always billow dramatically behind the wearer, it has no other effects.
• Cloak of Displacement, Minor
  • This item appears to be a normal cloak, but when worn by a character its magical properties distort and warp reality. When any attack is made against the wearer the cloak has a 20% chance of falling off, no matter how it is secured.