Orkimedes

"'ere to fix your gubbins..."

Orkimedes is a background Ork character mentioned in the fluff surrounding The Third Armageddon War and a shockingly bad pun, even by GW standards. Personal Mekboy to Ghazghkull himself, he's credited as being one of, if not the, smartest Orks in existence. Also quite a kunnin' fellow as his existence has technically never been verified by the Imperium, although he does have a hit out on his head by these freaks.

He's very, very rarely mentioned, which is a shame because, when he is the fluff is quite interesting. Orkimedes's biggest accomplishment is probably his refinement of Tellyportas. The effective range of most races' Teleporting technology is fairly limited, only a few tens of megameters at the most (there are exceptions though). This is a hell of a lot shorter than it sounds when you remember that space is big. Really big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mind-bogglingly big it is. A range of tens of megameters is just about enough for spaceship to spaceship boarding actions or spaceship to ground actions, it's about 2 and a half times higher then the orbit of the ISS, which is nowhere near the orbit of the moon. Orkimedes, however, managed to build Tellyportas that could accurately(?) drop mobs of Orks onto the battlefields of Armageddon from the edges of the star system; but he had a lot of Orks to work with so maybe not all of them made it. But we're talking ranges that you would have to measure in AUs, so even if a lot of them ended up buried or falling out of the sky it's still a feat of brutal kunnin'.

Sadly, the Imperial Navy was able to track down the Space Hulk he was hiding out on and force it to flee the Armageddon system after which he did basically fuck all. He's also credited with souping up the Orks' Gargants, making them into even bigger mountains of rape than they were before. Now has a section in the new Codex: Waaagh! Ghazghkull named after him (Orkimedes' Kustom Gubbinz).

Fanmade Rules

8th Edition

Orkimedes Is a single model, he is armed with a mini Psycho Dakka Blasta and Da Klaw with its built in Twin Burna.

Name	M	WS	BS	S	T	W	A	Ld	Sv	Points
Orkimedes	6"	2+	4+	5	5	5	3	8	2+	250

Weapon	Range	Type	S	AP	D	Abilities
Mini Psycho Dakka Blasta	36”	Heavy 4D6	4	-1	1	-
Twin Burna	8"	Assault 2D6	4	0	1	-
Da Klaw	Melee	Melee	x2	-4	3	This weapon deals double damage against VEHICLE, MONSTER and TITANIC units.

Abilities:

• Dakka Dakka Dakka!:

• Mechanical Genius: Roight I see wats rong ere, ou’ve got ya gubbinz’s mixed up with ya bitz. Oi can ix it but it’ll cost ya a bag o teef an a Squig pie.
  • At the beginning of your turn, this model may repair D3+1 previously lost wounds on an ORK VEHICLE within 6”. In addition, any ORK unit (including this model) within 6” with a weapon which fires a random number of shots (eg D6) may roll twice the number of dice and discard the lowest half.

• Kustomist of Kustom Force Fields: Orkimedes can’t just use any old Kustom Force Field, the Ork who fuelled the mechanical beast of Armageddon can only have the most flashiest and Kustomist of Kustom Force Fields.
  • Units within 9" of this model have a 5++ invulnerability save against ranged attacks, this still applies if this model is embarked inside a vehicle.

• Call in Da Rok's: One of Orkimedes’ greatest inventions were the Ork Roks, asteroids which were hollowed out, filled with orks and guns, and then fired at things which Ghazgul wanted dead.
  • Once per battle, this model may call in an Ork Rok from orbit to crash onto the battlefield (but only after your third turn), choose a point on the battlefield and roll a D6 for each unit within 9" of that point, for each roll of a 4+ that unit suffers D3 mortal wounds. You may then set up up to 20 ORK INFANTRY models which had been in reserve as close as possible to that point while being 9” or further away from any enemy units.

Ork Gitz and Bosses
From da canon:	The Beast - Boss Snikrot - Boss Zagstruk - Ghazghkull Mag Uruk Thraka Grukk Face-Rippa - Mad Dok Grotsnik - Makari - Mek Boss Buzgob Mozgrod Skragbad - Nazdreg Ug Urdgrub - Old Zogwort - Orkimedes Tuska Daemon-Killa - Wazdakka Gutsmek - Zhadsnark da Rippa - Zodgrod Wortsnagga Kaptin Badrukk - Herman von Strab - Ufthak Blackhawk
From da gamez:	Brikkfist - Gorgutz 'Ead 'Unter - Kaptin Bluddflagg - Grimskull Mister Nailbrain - Orkamungus - Spookums - Stupid