Queen of Mercury
== The Legend of the Queen of Mercury ==
They said he was a man, a man of courage; with such a voice that made angels faint and even the God Emperor of Mankind shed a single tear of joy. He was such an illustrious man that even the Eldar invited him to their craftworlds to perform. Indeed, wherever he traveled and sang, trillions came to hear his divine voice. Hive worlds were crowded tenfold, yet peace remained under his songs. Children would be born during his concerts, but not a sing soul would die until he was finished. Even the very warp itself around these concerts became still, sparkling with countless numbers of tiny burning torches, swaying to his rhythm.
And while he had such an amazing voice and vibrant personality on the stage, records tell that he was a very simple and secluded man, keeping only his best friends around, and the occasional lover. He would even prefer to be alone, quiet within his own thoughts, and drafting even more beautiful music. He did not ask for much, even as his voice gave hope and joy to the trillions upon trillions around the stars which would have earned him riches to build another golden palace. He lived such very casual, almost meager life off the stage, and yet he was given the title ‘The Queen of Mercury.’ And much like the planet, he was vibrant, hot, and fast, yet secluded from the rest by his sheer heat. While it is unknown why he received the title Queen rather than King, there was no concern over it and everyone quickly accepted this title.
However, while it seemed impossible that anyone could not fall sway under his song, he did earn the disdain from one surprising source, Slaanesh herself. While her followers were perplexed why she hated him so, the truth of the matter was actually quite simple: she was jealous. This jealously not only came from his voice, but also his amazing ability to ‘get around.’ While people claim the Queen of Mercury might actually had been considered a homosexual, it is merely only because he simply ran out of women.
Before the Queen of Mercury could lay with every mortal in the galaxy, bringing a calm, yet blissful peace all humanity, Slaanesh vowed to remove him, as she would be dethroned. Unfortunately for her, all of her previous plans to either enslave, murder, possess, or obliterate him failed. The men, women, and daemons she sent to corrupt him were purified, humbled, or sated by his very presence. Even when she decided to take matters into her own hands and personally poison the Queen of Mercury, the goddess of pleasure and pain hesitated. For her, even gazing upon him so close was like a mortal staring into the center of a star. She realized that even she could not bring herself to remove this beautiful soul from the galaxy.
When she returned to her palace, she was so enraged by her own inability to kill one simple mortal, Khorne was reclining on his throne with popcorn and 3D glasses. She yelled at him incessantly to remove this bastard from the material realm, but he chuckled, delighted to see her finally becoming angry without getting aroused. After torturing every soul in Commorragh, she turned her eyes to Tzeentch. However, his expression with a wide simple and tapping fingers quickly painted the idea that he was proud of these events and was anxious to see how they play out.
Slaanesh returned to her palace and pondered on her throne of squirming, naked bodies.
She puzzled and puzzled till her throbbing puzzler was sore. The more the Slasnesh thought, “I must stop this whole thing! Why for fourty five years I’ve put up with it now! I must stop this mortal from coming, but how?’
Then, she got an idea. And awful idea. Slaanesh had a wonderful, awful idea.
“♫ Oh Papa Nurgle ♫” She cooed with delight, “I’ve set up a play date with you and your wife! ♫”
“That sounds great,” Nurgle belched with glee, “Shall we be sitting under the base of the Great Tree?”
“No no no,” she responded playfully, “I’m sending you two the material realm, for a concert at three!”
Slaanesh continued, “Isha decided to change her appearance. You will find her as a male on the planet of Mongo and you will know her by her new beautiful singing voice. However, she wanted to see if you could put on a human costume as well. She rather enjoys the planet, and would like to remain the same. However, she still wants YOU on the inside, of course. OH, and lastly, she wants it to be kept secret between you two, so don’t tell anyone else, ok?”
Hacking phlegm, he responded, “OH! A Costume party! Well, she had always loved me for my natural appearance, but I guess it is fun to dress up! Would you help me pick out a costume she would like?”
Her lips curled around her face, twice, “I would be my pleasure!”
Sufficed to say, her planned worked out flawless. Nurgle, disguised as a beautiful, proud male, laid with the Queen of Mercury. The concert and the night was enjoyable, but the effects were slow and subtle. No doctor in the all the sectors could solve this disease, nor could they even discern its origin.
Then, on second saddest day of the universe, the Queen of Mercury laid down to rest and silently went into the great beyond.
At first, Slaanesh quivered with glee. She will keep her throne and no one will again dare to oppose her. Yet, as word traveled around, more and more souls had lost their hope. Sadness drew over the galaxy like a cold, wet blanket. There was not a soul, living nor dead, which was not mourning the loss of this great voice. It was only then did she realize the mistake she had made. She had not created great pain, only a greater misery. And for the first time in her entire existence, Slaanesh cried tears of true sorrow.
So you to, human of the Imperium, remember to keep the Queen on Mercury in your heart. Retain his messages and preserve his works. And remember his words as you would the God Emporer’s:
We are the champions, my friends
And we'll keep on fighting 'til the end
We are the champions
We are the champions
No time for xenos
'Cause we are the champions of all worlds!