STOP RIGHT THERE, CRIMINAL SCUM
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This is a /v/ related article, which we tolerate because it's relevant and/or popular on /tg/... or we just can't be bothered to delete it. |
"STOP RIGHT THERE, CRIMINAL SCUM! NOBODY BREAKS THE LAW ON MY WATCH, I'M CONFISCATING YOUR STOLEN GOODS, NOW PAY YOUR FINE, OR IT'S OFF TO JAIL" and its alternative; "STOP, YOU VIOLATED THE LAW! PAY THE COURT A FINE OR SERVE YOUR SENTENCE! YOUR STOLEN GOODS ARE NOW FORFEIT!" are lines used by the NPC guards in TES IV: Oblivion. Oblivion's NPC guards are in perpetual telepathic communication with each other, and every guard in the land is immediately aware and on alert for the player if even a single guard spots him doing something illegal. On top of this, they will often go to bizarre lengths to track down the criminal player, spontaneously appearing in odd places such as locked basements or planes of oblivion of Mehrunes Dagon in order to dispense justice.
Attempting to fight any one of them is futile, as a veritable horde of guardsmen will emerge seemingly out of thin air to kill you. Given Oblivion's shit level scaling mechanic (the guards are ten levels above you), you'll likely be raped harder than a squad of Imperial Guardsmen going up against a Khornate Chaos Lord. Truly, Cyrodil must have been the most lawful of all realms. Truly, Uriel Septim VII was a good Emperor.
The phrase itself is used to indicate a strong focus on law and justice, and may be used in any of your daily discussions dealing in lawful society or organisation.
This line was sadly not kept in for the sequel; Skyrim, instead we have the half-assed: BY ORDER OF THE JARL! STOP RIGHT THERE! You have committed crimes against Skyrim and her people, what say you in your defense?
Back in Morrowind, we had Ordinators instead of guards, who growled "We're watching you, scum" in their awesome shitty, choking on each other's cum accents. Before that, in Daggerfall, there was an endless chorus of HALT!, repeated by the guards as a mantra whenever you did a crime. So the first game has no guard-related memes.
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What one guard knows, ALL GUARDS KNOW. -
STOP RIGHT THERE- OH GOD! -
Good luck trying to nick the change from this one. -
He heard you unzip your sacky pants. -
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The Imperial guard hivemind knew no remorse.
