The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim

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"But... there's one they fear. In their tongue he is "Dovahkiin". Dragonborn!"

– Esbern

"Buy Skyrim."

– Todd Howard

The Elder Scrolls: Skyrim is the fifth game in the Elder Scrolls main series, firstly released on 11th of November, 2011...and then re-released six more fucking times after that, seriously, if someone finds a psychologist to help Geedubs with their Space Marine addiction, they should send Todd Howard to them too. This time the game follows the player in the province of Skyrim; set 201 years after Oblivion.

Despite releasing to near-universal praise in 2011, it ultimately became one of the most skubtastic games ever made. Many praise it as one of the best games ever made, while others consider it the single most overrated game ever made. It certainly was one of the most influential games of the 2010s, with many imitators aiming to replicate and modify Skyrims basic open-world-sandbox game design (which is, all skub aside, probably its greatest strength).

Story[edit | edit source]

Within this time-skip a lot of stuff happened. The Empire's Potentate was quickly assassinated. A faction of Altmer supremacists named the Thalmor took over the Summerset Isles and seceded, also annexing Valenwood and turning Elsweyr into a client state. Morrowind got royally fucked due to the floating rock in Vivec city finally striking Vvardenfell, the Red Mountain subsequently erupting and the northern half of the country was left uninhabitable, the Argonians invaded the southern half as payback for years of slavery, and what isn't run by vengeful ex-slave lizards or covered in burning ash is in the midst of a political vacuum caused by the collapse of the pro-Imperial House Hlaalu. Then the newly-christened Aldmeri Dominion declared war on the Empire and even sacked the Imperial City. The Imperial Legion drove them out at great cost but the Emperor, Titus Mede II, was forced to sign a ceasefire with several punitive terms including a ban on Talos worship and giving up parts of Hammerfell. These terms (especially the Talos ban) were... controversial to say the least; Hammerfell, fed up with the fuckery of the elves and the Empire at this point, kicked them both out and declared independence. Between this and their handling of the Oblivion Crisis and the Red Mountain eruption, many people within the Empire began seeing it as weak and ineffectual, selling out the non-Cyrodiilic peoples to save their own sorry hides. But for now, an uneasy cold war exists between the two empires and everybody knows Round 2 is just around the corner. Sequel-baiting, if you will.

You naturally start as a prisoner, captured for trying to cross borders between Skyrim and Cyrodiil. For your misfortune, you were caught along with the leader of the rebellion Ulfric Stormcloak, and since Empire wants to stomp the rebellion as quick as possible you along with Ulfric and others are to be executed with impunity. It would have been a very short game if it ended that way but luckily, as your head was about to get chopped-off, the main villain flies in and, as the village is being destroyed, you escape. After you escape, having to choose between teaming with the Imperials or with the Stormcloaks, the world opens up and lets you loose to adventure. Between the player's adventures and the Civil War affair, you discover that you are the prophesied Dragonborn; a dragon soul with a mortal body, that can absorb the souls of dragons for power rather than whatever-the-fuck D&D concocted. The character had been specifically created by the gods of time (Ald) and space (Shor) to stop the dragon Alduin, son of Ald, from either ruling the world or destroying it prematurely. Only YOU can save the world.

Expansions[edit | edit source]

  • Dawnguard: The first expansion focuses on the titular Dawnguard, an ancient order of vampire-slayers that had been reformed by a rather extremist member of the already narky Vigilants of Stendarr named Isran, its battle with an ancient clan of Vampires called the Volkihar, and an ancient prophecy that concerning the disappearance of the Sun that both factions are interested in (which ends up being a millennium-long petty SCREW YOU from a Snow Elf to his god in the belief that said god abandoned him). The expansion fleshes out the existing Werewolf abilities into its own perk tree, adds the choice to become a Vampire Lord (with its own perk tree), and introduces one of the best written of possible companions, in the melancholic but sometimes-snarky vampire princess Serana.
  • Hearthfire: Build houses and adopt orphans! For those whose frustrated interior designer's itch was not scratched by the existing residences in each Hold, the Dragonborn is now given the option to build one from the ground up. What's more, one can now assign Followers to be Stewards of these residences, as well as hire carriage drivers and even personal bards to sing of your exploits. One can now also adopt various orphans into your family, and give these kids a more comfortable childhood under your care.
  • Dragonborn: Being called Dragonborn, the main focus is evidently upon the titular character. Not just the main character but the very first Dragonborn as well; Miraak and his schemes with Hermaeus Mora. This expansion introduces the island of Solstheim, which had been previously presented in Morrowind's Bloodmoon. While Bloodmoon showed Nord culture and a different environment from Vvardenfell, Dragonborn does the reverse; showing Dunmer culture and some of the flora and fauna from Morrowind, in a massive callback from the 3rd main game and its expansion. Aside the new items, creatures, shouts and spells, the expansion also introduces dragon riding. A desired yet disappointingly implemented mechanic, since it doesn't allow full control of the dragon; permitting only to fast-travel to a handful of places and some command options.

Tabletop[edit | edit source]

The Elder Scrolls: Call to Arms[edit | edit source]

If you're not into video games, Todd has got you covered. On January 2020, the publisher Modiphius Entertainment released Call to Arms; a tabletop wargame set in current timeline Skyrim.

Skyrim - The Adventure Game[edit | edit source]