Emperor's Children
 | This article contains PROMOTIONS! Don't say we didn't warn you. |
| Emperor's Children | ||
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| Battle Cry | "Children of the Emperor! Death to your foes!" (Pre-Heresy; now said in mockery), Whatever garbled "music" they're playing through their vox-hailers today (Post-Heresy) | |
| Number | III | |
| Original Homeworld | Chemos | |
| Current Homeworld | Pleasure Planet, which they can't find. | |
| Primarch | Fulgrim | |
| Champion | Lucius the Eternal, Fabius Bile | |
| Strength | Back to Legion strength by the 13th Black Crusade (Implied to be bigger now than during the Heresy) | |
| Specialty | Emissary protection, tactical superiority (pre-heresy), Sonic Weaponry, being on drugs (post-heresy) | |
| Allegiance | Slaanesh | |
| Colours | Pink, black, gold | |
"Pleasure is sweetest when 'tis paid for by another's pain."
- – Ovid
"Of all the animals, man is the only one that is cruel. He is the only one that inflicts pain for the pleasure of doing it."
- – Mark Twain
"The road to excess leads to the palace of wisdom....for we never know what is enough until we know what is more than enough."
- – William Blake
The Emperor's Children are a Chaos Space Marine Legion and are basically what would happen if Dr. Rockso designed a space marine legion. They worship Slaanesh, wear pink and black, and were part of the original First Founding legions. They are also the sickest fucks on every side of the Eye of Terror.
AND THEY LOVE CU-CU-CU-COCAINE!
In other words, the Emperor's Children are the army that some fa/tg/uys would... consider joining based on the fact that this Legion revolves around sex, drugs and rock'n'roll. Except they are not all about that: Games Workshop dummied out most of the sexual imagery out of Slaanesh on the tabletop in order to not offend Little Johnny's parents and keep a PG-13 rating. Though in the Heresy Novels it depicts a Slaanesh-inspired orgy and the Space Marines just started a killing spree. Yeah, they get off on combat, not sex... remind you of someone? Add to the fact that Slaanesh is the god(dess?) /tg/ associates with furries and other things best left unsaid, it makes most anons reluctant to join the cul/tg/ratification. Then again, they are following the Prince of Excess... the followers are bound to be indulging themselves far beyond normality.
The Red Scorpions may or may not be a loyalist offshoot, based on their demeanor and secrecy over their unknown Primarch. The Death Eagles chapter are another possible loyalist offshoot, this time speculated in-universe due to the fact that there was a loyalist contingent of Emperor's Children during the Horus Heresy who were called the Death Eagles. The Sons of the Phoenix may also be a successor, considering some not-so-subtle parallels in their name and colour scheme, the fact that Belisarius Cawl has been experimenting with making Primaris Marines from traitor gene-seed, and their insistence on over-the-top demonstrations of loyalty and devotion. However, the official line is that the Sons are Imperial Fists.
World Eater fans hate the Emperor's Children because they realize they can never be as cool.
NOT REALLY CHILDREN OF THE EMPEROR.
Here is their theme song. Alternate theme. Alternate theme 2.
History[edit]
Pre-Heresy[edit]
Back during the Great Crusade, the Emperor's Children were unswervingly loyal, which is how they got their name. Now they just use the name as a form of mockery to troll the loyalists. Their Primarch, Fulgrim, was buds with Horus, so when Horus did his heresy thing, Fulgrim went straight to Horus and said "Dude; what the fuck? For reals." Horus knew that Fulgrim was a perfectionist with mild OCD and, straight out of an 80's afterschool special, Horus convinced Fulgrim that he could get that perfection if he tried some of these diet pills... and meth... and speed... and by the time Fulgrim was on cocaine he did a one hundred eighty turn and devoted himself and his legion to Slaanesh.
Before their fall to Chaos, the Emperor's Children were exemplars of what it meant to be an Astartes and were initially drawn from the Terran noble families rather than the chaff of the hive cities. They were noble, strong, excelled in all matters and above all were loyal to the core. Interestingly, a sizeable number of recruits after Fulgrim was found came from far less aristocratic sources (one Marine mentions being one of many children born to an underhive prostitute). They weren't experts in any sort of warfare (if there was an especially tough fortress to crack the Lords of Terra would bring in the Imperial Fists and not the Emperor's Children, for example) but could do everything very well and constantly drove themselves to learn as much as they could. Naturally, they were hyper-competitive and as a way to entertain their notions of superiority, engaged in lengthy duels against other Astartes. This is how you get somebody like good ole Lucy here!
Unfortunately in the early Great Crusade their gene-seed suffered a form of Space-Cancer that caused their organs to develop tumours and shut down their bodies. It's thought that this was due to sabotage by the Selenar gene-cults of Luna, which is supported by the disappearance of gene-seed reserves last seen near Luna. In an effort to stem the tide they "mercifully" executed those who suffered the condition and destroyed them; by the time Fulgrim was discovered there was only a few hundred Astartes left in the "Legion". Also, Fulgrim's return did not actually cure the problem, but merely sidestepped the issue by allowing untainted new gene-seed to be produced. It's quite possible that Fabius Bile is the only sufferer remaining but he likely gets around the symptoms through advanced medical sciences, although even he has found that all that's done is stall for time.
After finding Fulgrim, it is probably safe to assume that they were friends with the people of the Imperium and popular with other Legions. Firstly Fulgrim had a lot of friends among the Primarchs, most namely Ferrus Manus of the Iron Hands and Horus himself.(The Emperor's Children are also battle-brothers with the Salamanders, but Vulkan is friends with everyone.) In addition the Legion was noble in conduct and aspect, a shining example to other Legions. Starting off from this high place, perhaps it is not a surprise that pride began to poison the noble heart of the Emperor's Children.
The Emperor's Children were not so much known for their number of victories (especially since they got sort of a late start because of the whole gene-seed thing) but for the way they were won. Other Legions would take their mode of war and apply it in every situation. The Emperor's Children did everything, and were good at everything. In addition no other Legion could claim as many individual unit and Astartes honors as the Emperor's Children. In their waging of war was a perfection that perhaps echoed their fall.
A good example of the Third Legion's style of war was a battle known as the Defense of Tranquility. Basically there was a nebula that had a series of (probably Eldar) gates. The Imperium came to claim them, and the Emperor's Children (still only 500 strong at the time) were ordered to defend the poisonous crystal world of Tranquility, the Imperium's forward base of operations. All was pretty quiet until lo and behold a xenos fleet emerged from the warp portal hanging above Tranquility's Geographic North Pole. The xenos were crystalline and emitted powerful beam rays that could cut ceramite. They dropped from their ships in their thousands, and the Third Legion was ready for them. Every Legionary had studied and memorized the surface of the planet, and as the aliens came, the Emperor's Children knew exactly where to lure them in, where to run, and where to prepare kill zones. The aliens soon began to lose so many troops they were forced to direct their ships' weapons onto the planet, which gave the Imperial Navy ships also in orbit a chance to get close and destroy the fragile vessels. Praetor Abisare of the Third is noted as having said it was not a battle but "an execution of considered intent". For the Emperor's Children war was an art, a craft to be honed and practiced!
As time went on, though, the Legion's pursuit of perfection started to take a bit of a wrong turn, at least to outsiders. During the Murder campaign the Luna Wolves found that Lord Eidolon had opted to take his entire force into a warzone which had already swallowed up a bunch of Blood Angels and Imperial Army troops. Eidolon then threw some weak insults at Tarik Torgaddon and took credit for his subordinates' achievements. Unsurprisingly, Torgaddon started fretting that egotistical arseholes like Eidolon might indicate something unhealthy in the EC's legion culture.
Anyways even before they were getting genuinely chaotic, they were already doing weird ass shit in the pursuit of 'perfection', like genetic enhancements and what not, and that's a big no-no for Space Marines, even if it is a bit hypocritical for the genetically engineered super-duper-awesome-power-humans to get all shitty about a few enhancements on top of that. But, shitty they were - what gets skimmed over is the fact that all this stuff was based on a Slaanesh-worshipping alien race's modifications, so waaay more dodgy than anything the Emperor had devised for the SMs. If you're going to get more awesome, then you have to chop bits off and replace them with robot like everyone else. Anyhow they did it anyway because they wanted to be perfect THAT hard.
Aaaaand that's where Fabius Bile came in. He was the Apothecary that was fucking with everyone's genes to turn them "perfect", among other things rewiring their nervous systems so that pain actually caused them pleasure. While not generally focused on, Slaanesh is also the god/ess of perfection, in addition to excess. Therefore, the Space Marines that are obsessed with perfection turn to Slaanesh. And don't forget that Fulgrim's mind was eaten by a demon. Although he got better. So yeah, they are Slaaneshi now.
Heresy and after[edit]
"Captain, the loyalists have a Titan! What shall we do?"
"Well first we do some warp dust, then we FUCK THAT TITAN."
- – Emperor’s Children Captain
The Emperor's Children were most notorious for their engagements during the Battle of Istvaan III and the Drop Site Massacre. By the time of the latter battle many of them were straight-up Noise Marines (due to Bile's machinations) and they engaged the Iron Hands and other loyalists in the disaster that cost Ferrus Manus his head. Later on they along with Fulgrim started drifting off from the Heresy, engaging the Iron Warriors in Fulgrim's attempt to achieve Daemonhood, for example.
During the siege on Terra, the Emperor's Children were supposed to help with getting back at the Emprah but they got bored, broke off and went pillaging the civilians. Most of the innocents they found were ground up and distilled into drugs, anyone left over was raped to death. After the Siege, they dragged a shitton of slaves with them back with them into the Eye of Terror. After snorting / smoking / raping / defenestrating / dogwelding them all, they started stealing slaves from the other Legions, which started all the in-fighting. Considering they suffered few losses on Terra proper, they had the upper hand at first and even managed to steal Horus's corpse from the Sons of Horus. But then they had the poor idea to poke the World Eaters a bit too hard and a certain swell guy went to town on their asses (and his own Legion's asses, Khorne cares not where the blood flows from!) at the Battle of Skalathrax. Reeling, the Emperor's Children retreated to their Stronghold of Harmony where this fabulous sicko managed to clone Horus himself!
However, Abaddon, in a rare moment of awesomeness assembled various Marines from his Legion and others, launched an attack on Harmony, and won by having one of his sidekicks hurl a warship at the capital in a massive colony drop before killing the fully grown clone of Horus and ruining Bile's labs. It's implied that a bunch of Emperor's Children went over to Abaddon and made up the nucleus of the Children of Torment (the BL's Slaaneshi contingent) worshippers, as the EC views them as traitors to Fulgrim.
After the battle of Harmony, most EC went their own merry way. Marines of the Emperor's Children legions are always looking for the next high, and eschew tranquilizers and depressants (like booze) for hallucinogens and stimulants (like cocaine). It started out as a quest for perfection with performance-enhancing drugs, but now that they're full-blown corrupted by Slaanesh it's about peak experiences. Also have an obsession with noise, furry porn, tentacles, and gettin' high. Hey, who's the bastard who forgot about their chronic masturbation problem?
The Pre-Heresy paint scheme for their minis are purple and gold, while the Post-Heresy paint scheme is pink and black. (Or any clashing pastel colours and ugly patterns.) They are the Legion that created the original Noise Marines, and are still the go-to Legion for expertise in Sonic Weaponry.
Among the most infamous members of their Legion are Lucius the Eternal and Fulgrim. Fabius Bile was once part of the Emperor's Children, but went renegade from them. He's still labeled as a champion here, though.
It is speculated that the Pretty Marines' unknown Primarch was actually an Emperor's Children Captain that remained loyal to the Emperor during the Horus Heresy and convinced the High Lords of Terra to allow him to re-create the example of human flawlessness using his own gene-seed.
Notable Members[edit]
- Fulgrim: Primarch of the legion, the Palatine Phoenix, the Illuminator, and bishie pretty-boy. Had an ego the size of a dwarf star and an obsessive need to be the best at everything all the time, which made him easy meat for Slaanesh after he looted a daemon-possessed sword from a xenos temple. He scored the first primarch kill of the Heresy by decapitating his best bro Ferrus Manus at the Drop Site Massacre and had a brief moment of clarity that ended with his soul trapped in a cursed painting while the daemon in his sword puppeteered him around. He somehow regained control of his body and became the first traitor primarch to ascend to daemonhood, beating even Lorgar and Angron to the punch. Nowadays he spends his time on his own personal pleasure planet, probably railing lines of warp dust off the stomachs of daemonette strippers while swimming in oceans of booze and listening to dubstep at max volume.
- Lucius: Former Thirteenth Captain of the Emperor's Children, colossal narcissistic asshole, and one of the best swordsmen in the galaxy. He got mad when Garviel Loken broke his nose and his win streak and fell to Slaanesh in his obsession with perfection. He was sent down to Istvaan III because he was best buds with Saul Tarvitz, but betrayed him and rejoined the legion because he was mad that everyone listened to Tarvitz instead of him. Is now a Chaos Champion of Slaanesh, and if anyone kills him and feels a sense of satisfaction about it, he immediately resurrects in their body. This has led to increasingly convoluted theories as to how one might permakill him and increasingly lame explanations from GW as to how those theories don't work.
- Fabius Bile: Galaxy's number one mad scientist. Also known as Fabulous Bill, thanks to his pimp cane and human-skin lab coat. He was the one who engineered the various physical enhancements that led to the creation of the Noise Marines and has spent every hour of every day since the Heresy finding new and inventive ways to be a sick fuck to the point where he impressed a bunch of Haemonculi with his sick fuckery. Isn't technically an Emperor's Child anymore because everyone in the legion hates him, but he still wears their pre-Heresy colors.
- Eidolon: Lord Commander of the legion and a massive glory-hound. Fulgrim got sick of his shit and cut his head off, which everyone agreed was a pretty fun move on his part. Got his head stuck back on later and was resurrected as a hideous shell of his former self, but still managed to be one of the most competent Marines in his legion, somehow.
- Julius Kaesoron: First Captain of the Legion during the Great Crusade and the Horus Heresy. Was corrupted by the Laeran Temple and became a hedonistic sense freak who literally got off on being impaled by a chainsword during the fighting on Istvaan V. He ascended to daemonhood some time after the Heresy and hasn't done much of note since then aside from getting spanked by the Iron Hands when he tried to open a Warp rift on a planet during the purgation of the Contqual subsector.
- Marius Vairosean: Third Captain and self-flagellating sycophantic dildo. After screwing up during the Battle of Laeran, he became obsessed with perfecting himself and his company and agreed to let Fabius operate on him to that end. He became one of the first Noise Marines during the performance of the Maraviglia, when he picked up one of the instruments built for the opera and managed to turn it into a sonic cannon. Died during the Battle of the Sepulchre of Isha's Doom when he tried to sonic-blast Ignatius Numen, an Iron Hands Morlock he'd previously deafened; Numen just vaporized him with a volkite cannon while yelling "WHAT? I CAN'T HEAR YOU!"
- Saul Tarvitz: The First Loyalist, the Honour of his Legion, Good Guy Greg, etc. He was Tenth Captain of the Emperor's Children and easily the most bro-tier person in the III Legion. Stood out in the midst of his perfection-obsessed legion by virtue of the fact that he had found the place in which he was best fit to serve his primarch and the Emperor and did not aspire to anything else. Warned the loyalists on Istvaan III and Nathaniel Garro about the shitstorm that was headed their way and went down to lead the defense personally. Died in an epic last stand after holding the traitors off for several months.
- Ancient Rylanor: Ancient of the Rites and the second most bro-tier Emperor's Child after Saul Tarvitz. Stayed loyal to the Imperium even after being entombed on Istvaan III for several millennia and metaphorically flipped Fulgrim the bird by setting off a virus bomb when Snakeboy showed up to try and recruit him back into the legion.
Daily Routines of the Emperor's Children[edit]
05:00 - The Emperor's Children and Daemonette girlfriends awake from their drug-induced hangover in their party lounge, ready for another day of sex, drugs and rock and roll.
05:10 - Grooming period. The Emperor's Children groom their body parts so they could look absolutely fabulous.
05:30 - Morning Meal. A light heavy, quadruple-portioned meal consisting of cocaine, drugs, and the bodily fluids of Eldar victims are consumed by the Emperor's Children. The legion's personal sex slaves are forbidden to be molested for now.
06:00 - Morning Prayers. The Emperor's Children pray to Slaanesh for the best pleasures while masturbating and jizzing everywhere in an orgy of sadomasochism. Eldar and Dark Eldar are usually used to satisfy any needs during the prayer.
07:00 - Morning Firing Rites. The Emperor's Children begin morning target practice on captured slaves. Sometimes they use their cocks instead of their guns to 'hit the target'.
09:00 - Battle Practice. The Emperor's Children begin playing training with one another. Foreplay is also included.
10:00 - Tactical Indoctrination. The Emperor's Children are indoctrinated on the best drugs and sexual position in the galaxy.
11:00 - Midday Meal. A medium meal is prepared by the legion's sex slave. This time the Emperor's Children are allowed to rape their slaves while eating their meal at the same time.
12:00 - Local Raids. The Emperor's Children do their local raids in capturing more sex slaves for their pleasure. Special "rewards" are given to those who manage to capture Eldar or Dark Eldar Women (or men, if that's what they go for).
16:00 - Evening Meal. A feast is prepared by the legion's sex slaves. Usually the feast includes several young girls and boys, who are then slowly raped and eaten alive (or vice versa). Their still living bodies are then paraded through the streets where they whimper in pain as they are then transformed into the legion's next generation of sex slaves.
17:00 - Torture an Eldar Period. The Emperor's Children torture, rape, penetrate and humiliate captured Eldar women and men. Most of the Eldar often drown in their own bodily fluids as the Emperor's Children decide to photograph their defiled and violated bodies and then post it on any near Eldar Craftworld to troll them. Captured Dark Eldar are not allowed to participate. Instead, they are used in pornos, which they send through the warp to /tg/ to make them jealous.
20:00 - Rock'n Roll Time. The Emperor's Children decide on who can play the best Rock'n Roll while snorting as much cocaine and warp dust as possible while gang banging multiple chained and helpless sex slaves. Daemonettes also join the fun, having hot, erotic ball-busting sex while committing in an act of mass orgies and drugs. Some Emperor's Children put the face of Sanguinius on a dart board in which they defile and poke holes at, either due to innate jealousy that the Angel is better then them or the realization that they and Fulgrim can never, ever become as fabulous as Sanguinius.
24:40 - Rest Time. The Emperor's Children, their Daemonette companions and the sex slaves all pass out in an ocean of jizz, bodily fluids, juices and powdered drugs in their party lounge. /Tg/ is sent more pictures, causing them to Rage due to being left out.
24:50 - Finding Fulgrim. A small detachment of Emperor's Children not committed in the orgy are sent out to find Fulgrim and co. It lasts a week and they do not succeed as usual.
See Also[edit]
- Miriael Sabathiel: a sister of battle who was corrupted by the Emperor's Children
- Codex - Fallen Sororitas: a fully playable homebrew army for Chaos Sisters of Battle. Being fellow worshipers of Slaanesh, they get along great with these guys.
- The Emperor's Children mod for Dawn of War: full of heretical goodness
- You should turn the volume up before clicking this
Gallery[edit]
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Emperor's Children's primarch Fulgrim. Despite common belief, they do LSD too.
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The Emperor's Children in a nutshell.
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The Slaaneshi noise marine, the real reason why Rock is banned in the Imperium.
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Your average Emperors Children marine
| Forces of the Emperor's Children | ||||||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Leaders: | Lord of Slaanesh - Daemon Prince - Sorcerer - Chaos Champion | |||||||
| Troops: | Noise Marine - Chaos Spawn - Possessed | |||||||
| Great Crusade-era: | Kakophoni - Palatine Blade - Phoenix Guard - Sun Killer | |||||||
| Walkers: | Chaos Dreadnought - Helbrute - Sonic Dreadnought | |||||||
| Vehicles: | Chaos Land Raider - Chaos Predator Chaos Rhino - Chaos Vindicator | |||||||
| Flyers: | Storm Eagle - Stormbird - Thunderhawk | |||||||
| Spacecraft: | Dreadclaw Assault Pod - Kharybdis | |||||||
| Titans: | Hell-Scourge - Hell-Knight - Hell-Strider Slaanesh Subjugator - Questor Scout Titan | |||||||
| Daemon Engines: |
Defiler - Heldrake - Forgefiend - Maulerfiend | |||||||
| Daemons: | Daemonette - Fiends of Slaanesh Steeds of Slaanesh - Seekers of Slaanesh Hellflayer Chariots | |||||||
| Auxiliaries: | Cultists - Slaangors | |||||||
| Allies: | Chaos Daemons - Chaos Space Marines | |||||||